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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Shark Attack

So, the game against San Jose marks the first game without Captain Serious. With Seabrook gaining the additional "A" and Jake Dowell taking center of the first line. The Hawks started well with a powerplay goal but gave up a bad one on a slow line change, and finished the first twenty minutes tied 1-1. The second period was a complete shit show for the first 19 minutes, but Troy Brouwer and Brian Campbell tied it up at 3's. They weren't so fortunate in the third, as the Sharks scored on the powerplay and finished the Hawks off with an empty net goal.

The Good
  • One of the biggest bright spots this year is Jake the Snake Dowell. I'm glad to see him getting a chance to center the first line.
  • The powerplay cashed in the first time they were out there, with Kopecky feeding a wide open Sharpie, who gave Niemi a little top cheese. Maybe a night of powerplay feasting? Not so much.
  • Duncan Kieth was dominant in his own zone. Simply dominant. Just too bad there was such a suckfest around him. Everyone else around him looked like they'd never seen a puck before.
  • Gotta love Brouwer's powerplay goal that was banked off Niemi's stick. That made me laugh like Deniro in Cape Fear.
  • Soupy, Soupy, Soupy! Campbell bit the hand that use to feed him, with an ENORMOUS goal to end the second period. That's what this team needed going into the third, because they were stinking up the joint before that. Of course it was right back to
The Bad
  • It was a matter of time before Turco really turned it over, and tonight was that night. He shot it right into the chest of the Shark's Ferriero, and the panic alarm went off. Luckily Duncs was prepared to bail him out, and did. I understand you're confident Marty, but there is such a thing as too confident. Take it down a notch.
  • The Hawks played with fire and had a bad line change in which Scott Nichol took a pass in behind the defense and just put the shot through Turco. That's one Marty will want back.
  • The Hawks were bending and finally broke on the 5-on-3. Turco didnt exactly put a stellar effort in on that one. You'd like to see him stay somewhat upright on that one, not flopping around like a fish. Ferriero was left with the entire top half of the net, and didn't miss it.
  • On the third goal, Hammer wanted nothing to do with tying up Dany Heatley. Another Goal that the Twatter and Facebook dopes will blame on Marty. That, folks, was a defensive breakdown goal.
  • San Jose goal number four was another powerplay goal against. The Hawks penalty kill is simply atrocious. AWFUL! After yet another bad penalty, Joe-ver Rated Thornton tipped a point shot past Turco. That was all the Sharks needed.
The Ugly
  • Hey Tomokop? Another offensive zone penalty? Dude, WHAT THE FUCK? Nice turnover on the powerplay, too. You're just batting 1.000 aren't you? BRUTAL mistakes. Where does it start and where does it end? He can't win a faceoff. The emply net goal was solely his fault. When does this end? Every time I jot down something he screws up on, he does it again or something worse.
  • Nick Boynton. NICK FUCKING BOYNTON!!! He takes a stupid ass offensive zone penalty, and the resulting powerplay has the puck ending up in the back of the net. WHY must we endure this shit? He's a blockhead, that's average at best, and he's making Jassen Cullimore look like Bobby Orr. Why would you blatantly slash the stick out of a guys hand like that? Brainless twit!
Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

House of Blues

Before the game last night in St. Louis we were informed that Corey Crawford was still not 100%, and Patrick Kane would return from injury. One would have thought that the Kane news would be the start of something good. We were fooled. The game got off to a physical start in the first couple of minutes, and the Blues dominated the Hawks but the Hawks led 1-0 after the first frame. Clearly the way the Blues were dominating, that lead wasn't going to last long. The second was a continuation of the first period and the Blues tied up the game. As you might expect from a team that lost their captain to injury, had their second string goalie playing and had lost two other players for stretches of the second due to injury, the Hawks lost all steam in the third period. The Blues put up the game winning and game icing goals in the third, and the Hawks never really threatened a serious comeback. Lets hope Toews is a fast healer.

The Good
  • Big Show made an effort to earn his Twatter name "TheMURDERSAURUS" (I couldn't make this up, if I tried), in his scuffle with Cam Janssen. He hasn't been beaten in a fight yet, and that's going to make him a celebrity in this city. It's also going to make all the people that watch the game just for the fights tingle in their private parts. Too bad it was staged and pointless. Cam Janssen is just a dopey looking cementhead that can't manage more than 2:48 of playing time. Some talented kid is riding a bus in Peoria Illinois, because that imbecile is a part of the team.
  • Jake the Snake's goal was awful. It certainly looked like a change-up, and Conklin just missed it. Pick-To-Click Vik gets an "A" for stealing that puck, seeing Snake, and feeding him for the knucklepuck.
  • I don't care what the simpletons on Twatter, or the mouth breathing mongoloids on Facebook say; Marty Turco did NOT, in any way shape or form, cost the Blackhawks that game. He faced 43 shots, and bailed the "clown car" defense out multiple times. He was not brought here to face 43 shots EVER. He was brought here to face 25 to 30 shots a game and not lose it for them. This is above and beyond his job description. If you think that Turco was anything less than great last night, you need a lobotomy; and to have your fan card revoked, because you're an ignoramus.
The Bad
  • We have enough choices at center, so this abortion of Kopecky at center needs to end yesterday. Please. I beg of you. Also, Nice offensive zone penalty, asshat.
  • It was a matter of time until the Blues took the lead. They were dominating a majority of the game and the Hawks were playing with fire by taking bad penalties.
  • This just wasn't the Hawks night, with that third goal going in. Turco did a lot to keep that out, and his effort was stellar, but he was about half a second too late.
  • Kaner's missed breakaway ended up being huge, because that would have swung momentum back the Hawks way. Sure the puck rolled, and he was a little rushed, but that's what he's paid to do. You're playing against the backup goalie, and you have a twenty foot lead on ANYONE. It doesn't have to be pretty, just get the job done.
The Ugly
  • The powerplay. First in the league, right? Looks a lot different without Jonny B Goode, doesn't it? No feast, just famine. I didn't ask Santa Christ for this.
  • Leave it up to good ol Nick Boynton to turn it over with no one around, and have it end up in the back of the damn net. Just blindly throw it around the boards, like you knew something no one else on the ice or watching on TV did, Nick. Really. Jordan Hendry isn't good enough to do that?
  • I left the best/worst for last, because it could make or break their season. The injury to Captain Serious. As bad as Kane's injury looked, this one doesn't look as bad, but that's purely speculation. Actually, it's a truck load of wishful thinking, because without Toews, this team looks dead inside. No inspiration, no fire, and absolutely no coconuts. It's never good when a player doesn't return to the ice, and this was no exception. If this is serious, the loss of the guy that held them together through so many early injuries could be the reason this team falls apart.
Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

Monday, December 27, 2010

The Kaner Shuffle

Leave it up to me to be late to the party but there has been QUITE a little buzz on Twatter about this "Kaner Shuffle", so I had to check this mess out...and what a mess it is...Have a look for yourself:

  • Put some shoes on, kid. What are you, some kind of Cab Driver robbing Hillbilly?

  • Nice, "White Boy" shimmy. THAT will do a lot to change the perception that straight white men can't dance.

  • Sharpie's reaction is the best. Pure embarrassment.

  • Yes, that's the ghost of Jordan Hendry making an appearance from beyond the unmarked west side abandoned lot grave Quenneville has him buried in.

  • That Carrot Top vest/jacket thing is straight out of an 80's Devo video, or "Back to the Future".

  • Marty the Midget is right out of Goodfellas. I think he's channeling his inner Joe Pesci.

  • Apparently, Pick-to-Click Vik and Hammer are required to appear together because they are representing the common homeland, and Vik is a smiling mute.

  • The "Can-Can" is definitely the "Can't-Can't".

  • Carrot Top mumbles like a slow mental patient with mucus issues.

  • "That's an NHL Superstar right there" CLASSIC by Jonny B Goode. Great "Toews Faces" too, Captain Serious. The faces that the woman/women in your life must experience have to be priceless.

  • Marty the Midget looks like he has arthritis, when he's dancing.

  • Brouwser must be a HOOT on the college campuses.

  • Pick-to-Click Vik apparently doesn't even have enough balance to stand on one leg. Shouldn't we be worried about that?

Morin hurt in WJC OT win

TSN and Tracy Myers from CSN are reporting this morning that Blackhawks Jeremy Morin was injured last night in the USA's 3-2 opening night OT victory last night. Morin apparently "suffered a shoulder injury that could be significant." This is not good news for the Hawks, but there is speculation that the Hawks were going to keep him in Rockford the rest of the year so that his rookie contract doesn't kick in.
A junior-aged player with a contract can play up to nine NHL games as a trial period. If he is returned to junior before the tenth game, his contract is effectively put on hold: when he goes to training camp the following season, he will be in the first year of his contract.

Once the player appears in his tenth NHL game, his contract kicks in. He can still be returned to his junior club after that. But at season's end, a full contract year will expire.

Once he plays his 10th NHL contest, he is officially considered a rookie and his contract goes into effect. The AHL games with the Rock-beria Ice Hogs have nothing to do with his rookie status or contract.

The Redcoats Are Coming!

Before the game we learned that Corey Crawford was ill and Hannu Toivonen was called up to back up Marty Turco. Not only that, but Boss 81 and Pick-To-Click Vik were back on the ice. After a solid first by Turco and some dominant play by Boss, the Hawks were up 1-0 after the first. The second period was fairly uneventful with neither team scoring and finished 1-0, Hawks. The third was a whole different story as the Hawks pounced on multiple BJ mistakes and scored 3 goals. Solid game, and good win. Things are finally coming together.

The Good
  • It didn't take Boss long to make a difference in the game as the rebound of his 1st shot of the game was put in by Kopecky. Tomo-Kop has to be DELIGHTED that his big brother is back on the ice. Even though he's CLEARLY playing out of position, the look on his face after he scored was something to the effect of this:

  • Just when you start to think the powerplay is a shanghai fire drill, Sharpie rips a one timer in the back of the net. Feast or Famine.
  • Invisi-Bolly had to get into the action, on the powerplay no less, in the third. The play was made by Bickell and Brouwer, with two nice passes. The Killer B's, Yo! Yes, That was sarcasm.
  • I didn't even have time to jot down notes about the Bolland goal and Sharpie takes a Power Brouwer pass and rifles it in the net. Game OVER!
  • The Hawks were out shot, but it was only by two. Twenty seven shots is respectable, and a nice even keel for Marty to get his feet wet, again. Keep this up, and things will be looking up VERY soon.
The Bad
  • Hey, Brouwer? Sharpie? Anytime you'd like to shoot the puck would be OK with us. Not like they are just GIVING away 3 on 2's.
  • Nick Boynton if you'd like to pass you your own team, we'd greatly appreciate it. Just an idea.
  • Skillington has to go 5-hole on that penalty shot. No two ways about it. The rush that got him the penalty shot was a phenomenal one. That's just reason why he can't waste away on that forth line. Back down to seven and a half minutes of time for him, which is just brutal. He goes from the top line and 2 goals to the forth line and seven fucking minutes of play. Why do I bother?
  • The powerplay looked utterly clueless for the first two periods. Makes you wonder how that squad is one of the best in the league. Sometimes it's just baffling. Of course I ate my words in the third by what the hell was going on in the first two periods?
The Ugly
  • I was rooting for Turco and I just knew some dumb shit would break up the shutout, and of course, I was right. Bolland taking exception to some roughness in the offensive zone led to a BJ's powerplay, and a double screen on Turco ended up in the back of the net.

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

Thursday, December 23, 2010

To Catch a Predator

Two days before Christmas and what is our gift? A game that will most likely be low scoring and close. As advertised the first period was exactly that, as Bolly netted the only goal and the Hawks outshot the Preds 13-9. The second was more of the same, with Skillington denting the net, and the Hawks going into the locker room up 2-0. The third period had slightly more action with the Hawks scoring 2 and the Preds getting one on the powerplay. Not the most exciting game, but effective and productive. I'll take 6 more months of these games, if we get the same result.

The Good
  • Well, what do ya know? Invisi-Bolly decides to make an appearance for Christmas. What did we do to deserve that? Not like Lindback really gave him much of a fight. After he completely shit the bed on that pass, his ego was so hurt he just fell over in front of Bolly. Just for good measure, Invisi-Bolly assisted on Skillingtons goal. Why Bolland drew three Nashville defenders is beyond me. Davey gets three and Skille gets none. Makes perfect sense. Don't call off the Amber alert yet, because he's bound to disappear again.
  • FINALLY, Skillington showed he has a little sniper in him by roofing that goal over Lindback's glove shoulder for a 2-0 lead. Look at that, Joel, he CAN play on the powerplay, eh? Don't know WHO has been screaming about that all year long.
  • Skillington showed a little, yes I'm going to say it, Bryan Bickell with his snapper halfway through the third to pretty much put the game away. I'm not sure just what the Preds bring out of him, but I like it.
  • I keep saying it, but Crawford has been solid in a non spectacular way. Another great game. He needs a nickname soon, so that's my New Years Resolution.
  • After three games the "faceoff artist", and "penalty kill virtuoso" Ryan Johnson finally made an appearance on the penalty kill. He blocked two shots, and I guess I'm supposed to be impressed. As of right now, I'm still not impressed, nor will I be. Three forwards are scheduled to come back and there are only 2 "expendables", Big Show and Hendry. Guess who loses that 3rd spot?
  • One Trick Bick hit the score sheet again with a nice little headfake and snap shot. It's odd to see him actually score inside the circles, for once, but lets ride this wave. I saw someone comment on the Madhouse Enforcer and say that Bick reminded him of Brett Hull. Let's not get crazy now, that's just silly talk. Anyway, Game icing goal...Merry Christmas.
The Bad
  • Crawford's shutout bid ended when the Preds scored on a slow deflection at the top of a powerplay. Once again the penalty kill unit failed. This needs to change NOW!
The Ugly
  • No real ugly for two games in a row, so Merry Christmas...

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

Monday, December 20, 2010

Kings of Queens

Not much worth remembering in the first period. The teams each had 8 shots on net and the Hawks were up 1-0. The second period started fast and furious as both teams lit the lamp, but after the jitters settled, it finished up 3-1, Hawks. The Third was pretty slow too. The Kings put one in and the Hawks held off a late rush to preserve the 3-2 win.

The Good
  • Big Show/Wesgarth 2.0 wasn't quite the ordeal that the first one was. Actually, it really wasn't much of anything, other than some hugs and kisses. Overall, Show won, but not YouTube worthy.
  • Jonny B Goode continued his solid play with a big first goal that went off Drew Douchebag's stick and just changed direction enough to make it into the net.
  • The only good part about Ryan Johnson playing fourth line center, is that Jake The Snake gets to play some meaningful minutes. He has earned it, and I'm glad to see he's gotten rewarded. The bad new's is I can't see Johnson sticking around once, Kaner, Stalberg, and Hossa are back, so that means back to the fourth line for Snake.
  • Duncan Keith's goal was enormous after the Kings had just tied the game up. That's what a captain does. Both goals thus far by captains.
  • Fernan-dog Pisani connected late in the second after a Kings shot ricocheted around the boards like a superball and Invisi-Bolly took it hard down the ice, and put a pass through One Trick Bick's stick and through to The Dog, who sniped it where momma keeps the peanutbutter.
The Bad
  • Ryan Johnson almost got his first Hawks goal, on his own net. I still don't get it. I just don't get it.
  • The Kings goal was certainly a breakdown of the D and a bad play by Crawford. I could break it down, and berate someone for it, but it's gettingold.
  • The Kings second goal was a breakdown of the penalty kill unit, and some bad luck by Hjalmarsson and Crawford. Momma said there'd be days like this.
The Ugly
  • I can't say there was enough to call anything ugly. Color me shocked.
Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

Saturday, December 18, 2010

My Big Fat Greek Funeral

Well, all the bells and whistles were out to honor former teammate Chris Chelios, but we'll get to those festivities later. Before the game it was announced that Pick-To-Click Vik was out of the lineup, with a concussion. The Second Period started 2-1 but the Hawks were losing momentum quickly. The Hawks went into the third period leading 3-1, and looking good.

The Good
  • The Chelios thing was nice even though there were quite a few boo's, but he brushed it off, and finished on a good note. He turned that crowd around, and I felt good for him.
  • The powerplay finally clicked as Sharpie as Seabrook fed him for a beautiful one timer. What a great start.
  • One Trick Bick was at it once AGAIN. the guy does shoot VERY well. awesome shot. I can't say too much ad about him the way he's playing. Great job, Bick!
  • Jack Skillington has been shooting the hell out of the puck. Sure, he probably passes up some passes, but he's shooting on net, which quite a few Hawks aren't doing.
  • Brian Campbell absolutely made a phenomenal play on the delayed penalty and led the rush for Kopecky, and ultimatly the goal. If Campbell isn't on the ice, that doesn't happen.
The Bad
  • This just in, Invisi-Bolly turned the puck over again in his own zone.
  • I hate seeing pro players throw their sticks on plays like the open netter. Fuck you, Rafalski. Dickhead.
The Ugly
  • Ok, I already don't like dumb ass Ryan Johnson. Why in the FUCK you ign some dopey has been that has nothing left in the tank beyond me. That #17 is going to be free again REAL soon, because Johnson is awful.
  • what the hell are Big Show, Ryan Fucking Johnson, and Jordan Hendry doing out there with Dick Boynton, and Jassen Cullimore? Please? Tell me? The opposing team calls a time out and that's the line you produce me, Quenneville? C'MON, man. That's just fucking STUPID!
Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Colorado Calamity

The Hawks were looking to avenge the loss the other night, but the Avalanche had other ideas. It started off much better last night, but the ending was, again, a shit show. After one period they were down one nothing, but tied it up early in the second. The second ended with a 1-1 tie and set up a very important third. Once again, the wheels fell off the cart, and the Hawks gave up 3 goals. This is getting old.

The Good
  • One Trick Bickell was at it again. His goal was a great effort as he circled in and ripped a great shot over Anderson's glove. Like I said, the guy can shoot, and he's doing what he's good at. I wish more of the team would follow the example.
  • Corey Crawford had another huge outting, and made several big saves, but fell short in the third, when the defense fell apart.
  • Jonny B Goode got a real nice hard working goal. Nothing pretty about that one, but that was a huge play by the captain, at the time.
  • Power Brouwer's goal was too little too late, but he has been on fire. Let's hope that continues. At least he's finally doing something useful.
The Bad
  • The first Colorado goal was absolutely brutal. Boynton and Cullimore just backed their asses into Crawford, and let the Avs forwards shoot at will. C'mon, guys. What was that? Step up and hit someone
  • The powerplay was completely ineffective. The Hawks kept control, but didn't get many shots to the net at all. You have to take the kill shot with all the powerplays in the first period. When you don't capitalize on prime chances, you're going to end up in trouble.
  • The O'Byrne hit on Stalberg was bad. I can't say he was trying to be a complete asshat, but it ended up that way. That should have been more than two minutes, if Hendry got four later. Not that Stalberg has done anything of importance lately, but they could have used the extra legs.
The Ugly
  • Jordan Hendry played one or two shifts in the first period, and disappeared. In the third he had some terrible luck as the Colorado player skated into his elbow, and he was tagged with a double minor. Funny how the call was a high stick and his stick was nowhere near Winnik. None of the refs made a call until they noticed Winnik was down and that cost the Hawks the game.
  • Fleischmann continued to abuse Seabrook and Crawford with his two powerplay goals. The hat trick goal was simply the knife in the back of the Hawks. They just cannot catch a break, and it's getting old really fast.
Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Game Day Blues Clues

Avs tonight for the second part of the "Home and Home", at the UC...

  • After this morning's skate, Bolland will play tonight, Kane and Pisani might play Friday, and Hossa was working out off ice. Did ANYONE miss Invisi-Bolly, or Fernandog?? I didn't think so.

  • Looks as though Crawford will be in net tonight, as he should be.

  • Brian Campbell on Turco, from Monday night: "I feel bad for Marty. I think every one of us owes him an apology." No SHIT, you do! You six, so called, defensemen need to take Marty AND Corey out for a steak dinner at Smith and Wollensky. They faced a firing squad.

  • It's still a mystery why Moustachio benched Stalberg and Skille when they were short on actual "real" ones and were playing in the thin air of Denver. Oh, because no one else on the ice was shitting the bed all night, right?

  • Sam Fels of the Committed Indian, Second City Hockey and NBC pointed out that Big Show had more penalty minutes than actual playing time, AND that the fight he had was after a Hawks goal, which is pretty pointless.

  • Hawks prospect Dylan Olsen made the Canadian World Junior team, and Brandon Pirri was one of the last cuts. Pirri's punishment is a trip back to Rock-beria.

  • Finally, after seeing this video, I will find it hard to speak ill of Jake Dowell ever again.


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Colorado ClusterF&@K

After embarrassing the Hawks, Fleischmann does the funky running man?!?!

As CSN's Chuck Garfien said following the game, "That, did not...just happen". I don't know if ANY defensemen showed up for either team, because if they were on the ice they didn't do god damned thing. Six goals scored in the first 20 mins, and it was a 3-3 tie going into the second frame. Forty seconds into the second and the Hawks give up yet another wide open slot goal. The Hawks opened up a 5-4 lead with 2 and a half minutes to go, and the wheels fell off the cart. Three goals in the final two and a half minutes and it was over. Pathetic and embarrassing. Because that was 2 and a half hours of my life that I'll never recover, I dedicate this silly shit to the Hackhawks:

That clip should be looped on the monitors in the locker room to remind them of that atrocious waste of a game. On with the carnage...

The Good
  • Leave it up to Brouwer Power to actually have himself an admirable game that gets wasted. First, He picked up a garbage powerplay goal, but it all counts. Kopecky muffed on the play, and he half ass kicked it to Brouwer, who just ripped it through Craig Anderson. The third goal, by Bickell, was pretty shady. Brouwer sent in a floater that banked off Bickell and into the net. Awful goal for Anderson to give up. Brouwer had a great tip for the Hawks fifth goal, off a Duncan Keith wrist shot from the point on the powerplay. Three minutes to go in the third and the Hawks are up 5-4. Game over right? Think again. The Hawks had other plans.

  • Skillington's goal was really another fortunate bounce that ended up on his stick, and he snapped it home. Once again, I like seeing people rewarded for hard work and heart. Those are two things Jack has shown this year.

  • Crawford looked good again, and the team responds better when he's in net. I think the team has decided that they want him as their netminder. Marty, it's over, man. Just too bad they didn't want to respond for more than 57 minutes. Really, most of the goals given up let the goalies hung out to dry. Crawford did make a nice save late in the game on yet ANOTHER one timer in the slot.

  • The fight between Big Show and former Blackhawk for a minute David Koci was entertaining, but hardly effective. What else do you expect with two complete cement heads out there? I'd be shocked if they DIDN'T fight. I'd say Big Show took that one, but did ANYONE care?

  • Jeremy Morin's second goal of the year was pretty weak, in and of itself, but no complaining here. Good job kiddo. Keep firing the biscuit.

  • Jake the Snake moved up to third line center with Brouwer and Bickell, with Invisi-Bolly out. He didn't look out of place, and he certainly played better in the Avs end than Bolland has.
The Bad
  • Well under the radar, Invisi-Bolly apparently has an upper body injury, which I can only guess is a bruised ego, or mental deficiency. Ryan Potulny was called up to center the forth line.

  • The Hawks all too often found Colorado forwards in behind their defensemen. Not a good sign, and you'd think after once or twice they'd stay a little more alert. It was like a carnival shooting gallery all game. The Hawks only gave up 30 shots, but every time you turn around, there is another Colorado player wide open in the slot.

  • Potulny, Morin and Bickell isn't exactly the powerplay line other teams will piss themselves over. Stalberg and Skille are sitting the bench while Bickell and Potulny are out there? C'mon Joel, that's just moronic.

  • Whoever was sitting near one of the open mics ringing a cowbell all game needs to be sodomized with a hot poker and buried alive. This isn't a youth game, cut the shit.

  • Big Show and his 265 seconds of glory. This guy is really earning every dollar, and he REALLY skates like he shat his drawers. My two year old runs around like that when she fills hers.

  • Just when the whole media is crowing about Keith being back in his Norris Trophy winning form, him and Seabrook went -4 EACH. That's our top defensive pairing. NEGATIVE FOUR!
The Ugly
  • Eighteen seconds into the game and Colorado got things rolling against Turco. Toews, Stalberg and Keith all let Yip one time a shot in the slot, right into the back of the net. What a great way to start the game, and it was certainly a sign of things to come. People aren't even in their seats, and the home team is up 1-0.

  • Colorado goal number two was also ridiculously stupid. Keith and Seabrook really showed a half assed effort and Stastny went right through the two of them and put a shot on net that flipped over Turco. Yes, #2 and #7 looked like they didn't want to be bothered, but Marty got a piece of it. It almost looked like, at that point, he had already given up. Thanks for making me look like an asshole, Marty. I'm glad I backed THAT horse. Fucking Mule!

  • Twenty three seconds after the Hawks tie it, in the first, they give up another goal as Kopecky, Campbell, and Hjalmarsson let yet ANOTHER Colorado forward skate wide open in slot. Guys? Hello? Are you there? Anyone? The first period started and you look like dogshit. What happened to this great defense we've all heard so much about?

  • Then it was Brent Seabrook's turn to really screw Turco by turning the puck over at the blue line and 40 seconds into the second, it was 4-3 Colorado. Make all the excuses you want, Steve Konroyd, but Seab's shit the bed on that one. Not that I don't agree with Turco being pulled, but the Hawks were absolutely fucking TERRIBLE on defense. Three wide open shots in the slot and a turnover which lead to a 2 on 2 and ends up in the back of their own net. Just BRUTAL!! Honestly, the Hawks should have come out of the first intermission with Crawford. Turco just didn't have it last night and his .600 save percentage made that clear.

  • Goal number 5 was a simple wrist shot that beats Crawford, but why was Fleischmann allowed to put the brakes on and let it go like he did? Seabrook just backed off and almost did a bambi on ice reenactment. Fleischmann let the shot rip it at the net, and we have a tie game. Like the rest of the game, SLOPPY! So much for that 5-4 lead with two and a half minutes left. Oh it gets better.

  • Aaaaaaaand the sixth goal less than a minute later, where Seabrook and Keith just let Douche-ene slide right between them and ONCE AGAIN one time a puck, in the slot, into the back of their net. It's a cliche but in this case it's true. There is NO "D" in Blackhawks. Bunch of fucking sad sacks. Throw an empty netter in for good measure. Assholes! That was disgusting.
If you really want to watch this embarrassment here you go:

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Shark Soup

So much for theory that the Hawks will know every nook and cranny that Antti Niemi is vulnerable. The ONLY team he's played excellent against is, yes, the Chicago Blackhawks. I guess if they keep him on the roster just to beat the Hawks in the playoffs, then he's worth it. Anyway, The first period had plenty of action, and a goal each way. No real domination either way, and both goalies played well. The second ended the same way the first did, with slightly less action, setting up a big third. The tgird was about the same as the second. A few chances but neither team scored. Overtime was as exciting as it could be, and Ryan Clowe put an end to the game with a changeup type onetimer.

The Good
  • I'm liking what I see from the first line of Jonny B Goode, Skillington, and Pick-To-Click Vik. They have energy and LOADS of speed. It's just too bad that none of them could finish. Vik and Jack are going to end up being part of the core of this team.

  • Just the other day I was saying how Jordan Hendry needs to play more, and he scores a goal. The only problem is that he BELONGS on defense. He's a defenseman. Let the guy do what he's best at, and that's not gathering frequent flyer miles and sitting in the press box. Nice to see him get a bit of glory though.

  • Results aside, Corey Crawford played an EXCELLENT game. He whiffed on that game winner, but he was expecting it to come in higher and harder, and Clowe sent in a lower changeup. This loss cannot be hung on Crawford in any way.

  • He didn't figure in the scoring and he took a bad penalty, but Skillington had a team high 7 shots on net. I love seeing him drive the net and shoot the puck. Sometimes simple is the way to go, and Jack Skillington has kept it simple.
The Bad
  • I know desperate times call for desperate measures, but that Scott, Hendry, and Dowell line is brutal. Yes, Scott and Hendry CAN play wing, but really, who cant? Just because you're in the kitchen doesn't mean you're a chef. Yes, Hendry scored a goal, but that doesn't change anything.

  • Goal number one by the Sharks was sort of a breakdown as the trailing forward wasn't picked up. Absolutely nothing Crawford could do on that. It was a perfect tip.
The Ugly
  • That waved off goal was just brutal. The Ref completely blew that call. Stalberg can't buy a break. That would have won the game for the Hawks.

  • The game winning goal looked fairly harmless, but Clowe put it in the one spot Crawford would whiff on it, which made it look very weak. It's an ugly way to lose a game after playing as solid defensively as the Blackhawks did.

  • In a game where Jordan Hendry scores the only goal, and The Big Show gets an assist, you HAVE to get some results from the big money people.
Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Dancing With The Stars

The Killer B's are Born

The first period was dominated by the Hawks, and they could have easily been up 4-0, but only lead 2-0 after the first. The second was more of the same as the Hawks went up 4-1 in the first 3 minutes of the period, but Dallas fought their way back and made it a one goal game. The Third was much different as the only goal scored was the empty netter. Dallas certainly turned up the pressure as well, but the Hawks held them off for a big 5-3 win. Not pretty, but it's a win against a first place team, even though that's not going to last long.

The Good
  • One Trick Bick was at it again. I swear every one of his goals have been from 55 or more feet out, and right in the center of the ice. He can pick a corner. That's all he can do with the puck, hence the nickname, but he's been shooting well. Can't knock snipes like that.

  • Jake the Snake had another successful fight. I'm tired of hearing Eddie yapping about respect in fights. We get it! What I DON'T get is why Jake Dowell is the one that needs to do most of the fighting, when you have the Big Slow trotted out there for his obligatory five minutes a game? Why is he even dressed? to shake hands and kiss babies? His role on this team becomes less defined as the season grows older.

  • You have to love Skillington's aggressiveness on the Toews goal. For all you young hockey players out there, when all else fails, go to the net. I fully believe that every great line needs a guy to crash the net, and Skille does just that. He FINALLY gets it.

  • Congrats to Baby Face Morin on his first NHL goal. He snapped off a really nice wrister past Raycroft, on a, get this, nice feed from Dave Bolland. Invisi-Bolly wasn't Invisi-Bolly at all. Lets not all start the Bolland fan club just yet, but it's nice to see he actually has a pulse.

  • The Killer B's show then struck. The One Trick Bick to Invisi-Bolly to Brouwer Power goal was nice as well. Brouwer actually showed some speed blowing past Morrow and including himself on a great 2-on-1. Until I saw the number I thought it HAD to be Keith or Campbell joining the play. See what can happen when you actually care to skate, Brouwer?

  • Jonathan Toews did his best Boss 81 impression, by completely dominating with the puck. I think I even saw some furrowed brows and fire in Captain Serious. I could get use to that.

  • The empty netter was pretty anticlimactic, but it counts towards the powerplay stats, so fire away at that empty cage, Sharpie.

  • The Hawks did well staying out of the box, other than the Dowell fighting major.
The Bad
  • It was the usual for the Hawks. Feast or Famine. Dominate the first half of the game and try to hand it over in the second half of the second period. Really, that all belongs in the "ugly" section.

  • Pick-To-Click Vik must have spit in Quenneville's face, and was relegated to bench for it. When all was said and done, he only played 8 minutes, which will always be second to Big Slow's 300 seconds of extacy. Did I miss something when I was putting my kid to bed?

  • Other than Morin's goal, the second line was pretty quiet. Sharpie had the empty netter, but that was on the powerplay. I don't think Kopecky even left the dressing room because he was COMPLETELY ineffective all night.
The Ugly
  • The obviously ugly was the the 3 goal stretch by Dallas. None of the goals were all that special, in fact the first two can be best classified as weak. The James Neal goal was pretty soft by Crawford. He was slow trying to cover it and Neal just made him look silly. Crawford had no chance on the second Dallas goal, because he was completely screened by Bolland and Morrow. Just when you need Bolly to be invisible, he isn't. You can't stop what you can't see, and someone needs to help their goalie out a little. Please? A little? The third goal was pretty atrocious by the Hawks defense, as Erickson finished a pretty tick-tac-toe play on a sick pass from Richards. Pretty if you're on the Stars, but pretty SAD if you're a Blackhawk. I felt that Crawford could have been a little more aggressive and cut off the pass, but he DID have four Hawks standing right there with their cranks in their hands.
Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Dallas Madness

Burish and the boys pulled out their Sunday go to meetin' clothes for the trip

Dallas Stars tonight at the UC...here we go!
  • Baby Face Jeremy Morin was on the Rock-beria express this morning. No surprise, as this was reported Monday night by Tim Sassone.

  • Not only will Morin be back, but Colonel Klink, Rob Klinkhammer, will be making his 2010 Hawks debut wearing the every popular #59. The kid has energy, and a great attitude, so no issues here with this call up. He's going to be playing on the forth line tonight. Can we say "poor man's Skillington"?

  • Boss 81 was placed on IR retroactive to the day he was hurt, to make room for Colonel Klink. Moustachio said it was all procedural, and that neither Boss or Pisani will be making the road trip. So, it looks like Boss and Pisani will be back in a week, at best. Lets see what these kids can do, because it's better now than April.

  • Corey Crawford will be your starting netminder tonight against Andrew Raycroft, which proves that a win is much more important than showing your ex team that they made a mistake, right Marty? IF they made a mistake that is.

  • Jesse Rodgers reported that Power Brouwer said, "I didn't hang with him much cause he was always patrolling for ladies, and I'm married but we're buddies" about Burish the Poonhunter. Way to make a showing for the wife, Troy. (wink,wink,nudge,nudge)

  • Lines at this morning's practice were:
    Skillington, Jonny B Goode, Pick-To-Click Vik
    Shooter, TomoKop, Baby Face Morin
    Power Brouwer, Invisi-Bolly, One Trick Bick
    Big Show, The Snake, Col Klink


RIP Dimebag Darrell Abbott (8/20/66-12/8/04)

There are only 2 days a year that I will stray from the usual smarmy, sarcastic, arrogant Hockey chatter, and today is one of those days. Two of the biggest and most shocking tragedies music world has ever seen happened on this day. Thirty years ago John Lennon was gunned down in New York City by a lunatic, and six years ago Dimebag Darrell Abbott was shot by a complete scumbag of a mental patient, whom I will not give the courtesy of even naming, as he played a show at the Alrosa Villa, in Columbus Ohio. There have been many tragedies in the music world, but only one has happened while the artist was on stage doing what he or she does best. It's cliche to say you would want to die doing what you love, but Darrell would have wanted to go out onstage, just under different circumstances. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was waiting for my friends in the band SOiL to play a secret show, their first with their new vocalist, at the Penny Road Pub in South Barrington Illinois. Just before they were scheduled to go on, one of them received the call that would change the Metal world forever. Their friend, Dimebag Darrell Abbott, had been shot during the first song of his band's set that night. No more details were given, but it was serious. The jovial mood turned somber, but my friends chose to go on with the show, and chose not to alert the crowd until after more details were available. As the show wrapped, they received word that Darrell had passed away from his injuries. My friends chose to end the show by making an announcement that Dimebag Darrell had been shot and killed just a couple of hours earlier. A crowd of usually smiling, and singing metalheads turned to looks of shock, sadness, and sobs. My heart goes out, especially, to his brother Vince Paul Abbott, because I could not imagine watching my beloved brother murdered feet in front of me, with no way to help.

As those of you that are close to me know, I'm a HUGE Metal fan, and that encapsulates 98% of all the music I like. To pay respect to maybe the most legendary guitarist the heavy metal world, I named one of the teams I played for "Cowboy From Hell" after a Pantera song, and named this blog for the Pantera song "Fuckin Hostile". Here are some videos to celebrate the life and music of Darrell Lance Abbott, please enjoy, smile and sing along! Today we celebrate his talent...


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Day Off Blues Clues

You people are really going to be sick of me, but I have topics to discuss and time to discuss them. So, lets dive right in, shall we?
  • I'm not sure where they got this, but a friend messaged me last night to tell me that the NHL network was reporting that Kaner will be out 4-6 weeks with an ankle issue. If it is anything like I think it might be, he's going to be tender and ineffective for longer than that. Now, I didn't have the wonders of a multimillion dollar training and rehab staff, but I had a similar injury and I wasn't even close to normal for at least 8 weeks, and I'm just a goalie. Anyway, it's clear Kaner is out for a while, Boss 81 is probably at least a week away from being rushed back too soon, and Pisani...is talent deficient. This morning Quenneville said Kaner will only be out for 3 weeks but I strongly believe he's being conservative to keep the media at bay. When all is said and done, don't be surprised to see him out for closer to the original reported time.

  • The Hawks announced, apparently only to columnist Tim Sassone, that Morin will be back for the Wednesday game. Yeah, yeah, Salary cap, blabbity, blah, blah. For those of you hoping to see Kyle Beach anytime this year, you're high. He makes $250K more than Morin and they have to send HIM back to Rock-beria on off days to save some cabbage. Unless they drop some salary though trades, you will see Potulny, Pirri, Smith and/or Makarov before Kyle Beach steps on the ice at the United Center. Welcome to Hawk-onomics, folks, I'll be your instructor, Stan Bowman.

  • The Second City Hockey/Committed Indian guys have touched on it. We don't really have the goalie controversy of last year, and quite frankly, this is how last year should have been handled, early on. The only problem was that they had to somehow justify almost $6 million of suck. It's all water under the bridge, because they won, but they are in a similar position this year and I feel Quenneville is handling it right. Stick with the hot hand, whoever that may be. I agree, completely, with the SCH/Committed Indian guys about the fact that the Hawks owe Marty Turco nothing. He practically begged to play here, and they needed an insurance policy, if Crawford wasn't ready. Well, Crawford IS ready and Turco has been average. Even on his bad days the Hawks seem to play better in front of Crawford, for whatever reason. It's about time we started getting use to Corey Crawford as our starting netminder, as he will be tomorrow night. Where is my #50 jersey?

  • Today it was announced that prospects Jeremy Morin and Nick Leddy were named to preliminary roster for U.S. National Junior team. That will take them off our hands for a little bit. Should be interesting with Kaner out for a while, Hossa recovering, and Morin playing for the WJC. The options for goal scoring are getting thinner by the day. Get ready to have Tomas Kopecky and Troy Brouwer jammed down our throats, nightly. Just what we wanted for Christmas, Santa.

  • If you don't want to weed through the drivel of this Adam Jahn's article, let me highlight a few points. He is suggesting a few options to alleviate the recent player losses. Shorten the Bench, Find some ripe players on the Rock-beria Icehogs bush, and finally, my FAVORITE; More Hendry and Big Show at wing. First of all, they have been playing with a short bench, BECAUSE Big Show only makes appearances for 300 seconds a game and Skille hasn't exactly been leaving a cold seat on the bench, himself. Second, The Icehogs aren't exactly tearing up the AHL (9-11-3), and they top prospects aren't really lighting the lamp either. Defenseman Brian Connolly is leading the team in scoring with 16 points and Ryan Potulny is behind him with 13. Lastly, more Big Show and Hendry? That's tremendous a waste of my Oxygen, and we all know Quenneville drowned Hendry and buried him in a vacant west side lot. Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.

  • At this morning's practice the team was skating with only three lines. Skillington, Pick-To-Click Vik and Toews; TomoKop, Shooter and Jake the Snake; and Brouwer, Bickell, and Invisi-Bolland. Of course, this is all without Morin, Hossa, Pisani, or Kane. This makes me wonder though...since Morin can't practice with the team, does this mean he's in protective custody at some undisclosed location, or does he really have to drive all the way out to Rock-beria to report? I hope he's looking to invest in one of those new hybrid cars because the gas alone is going to bankrupt him. Junkfood for thought.

Monday, December 6, 2010

I Once Thought I Was Wrong; But I Was Mistaken

It's time I addressed this, because I don't hide behind my keyboard when I'm wrong. So, come one, come all! Haters unite in giving me the old "See you were wrong, Jerkface. Smug, sarcastic, mean guy!". Yes, Thus far, Dustin Fluff-lien has had himself a nice little opening quarter of a season. With 27 games played his stats are as follows:


After a pretty slow start, Fluff is RED HOT and has become a legitimate threat with the Thrashers. He is exactly 8 points from his career high of 36, with the Hawks in 07-08. He SHOULD crush that previous high. He ranks first in the league with 5 game winning goals. This is all PLAYING AS A DEFENSEMAN. I could try and dissect the numbers to try and blow smoke up your asses to give the illusion that I was right, but that all goes against what I'm about. I was wrong. Now, I wasn't wrong about everything, but about his production, my bad. He is still a liability on defense, and he has still shown to be very streaky, but, as Jerry Reed once said, "When you're hot, you're hot. When you're not, you're not." He's been so hot that he was named the #3 star of the month in November. Atlanta, you got exactly what you were looking for; a personality and a fan favorite. Now, playing here, he would be back at forward on the third line getting the talent sucked out of him nightly by Invisi-Bolly. There is no doubt that he wouldn't have those numbers in Chicago. There is simply too much talent on the first two defensive lines for Fluff. Now, in Atlanta, if you can name me ANYONE with an ounce of talent on their blue line, you'll win the Daily Double. So, he's playing everywhere. It's still a long season, and things could go sour fast, but I have to take a bite out of my shoeleather sammich.

Everyone else has done just about what I said they would. Versteeg looks average and defensively lazy in Toronto, Niemi can only seem to beat the Hawks, Madden is Madden in Minnesota, Burish is plowing through the single women of Dallas, Fraser hasn't done much in Edmonton, Sopel is...Sopel, and the one player I said the team would miss most, Andrew Ladd, has been named as the Thrashers captain. I still maintain that Ladd would be more valuable to the Hawks.

I'll leave you with one of the reasons that he was one of the top three stars of the month. Granted, the defense on this play was heinous, but it looks good. If I was Ryan Miller, I would have been LIVID!


Morin or Less-in

Just when you think you have Stan and the Blackhawks figured out, they throw in a curveball. In this case, a spitball. The Hawks sent Jeremy Morin down to Rock-beria, this morning, which make SO much sense. Yes, for those that are sarcasm deficient, that was dripping with sarcasm. If they are playing with the kid's eligibility, because of the junior rules, then don't bring him up at all. This is the rule I'm refering to:
A junior-aged player with a contract can play up to nine NHL games as a trial period. If he is returned to junior before the tenth game, his contract is effectively put on hold: when he goes to training camp the following season, he will be in the first year of his contract.

Once the player appears in his tenth NHL game, his contract kicks in. He can still be returned to his junior club after that. But at season's end, a full contract year will expire.
He's a good player, but he hasn't exactly lit the world on fire, and he needs time to settle in. There are players in Rockford that can take the spot. Pirri, Potulny, Taffe, and Makarov can all come up and "not screw up". Anyway, it is what it is.

Sure, this also means that Pisani or Hossa could be close to coming back, but it still leaves the team short at forward, if both aren't back. Big Show CANNOT dress every game, and only play 5 minutes. Honestly, Pisani isn't exactly making my heart rate rise, either. If you're going to feed me Pisani and dump Morin, I'm going to kick someone in the ass. He's a good penalty killer...Whoopty Do!! If Kaner is out, they need something to spark them. I would suggest keeping Jack Skillington around some actual talented forwards, but that's like asking for an act of God, or Santa Claus (if they existed). He may screw up, sometimes, but his aggressiveness creates chances. You can fill the fourth line with just about anyone. I guess we'll see how this all plays out.

The Ambulance Looms Large

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. I know that's the thought going through each fan's mind a minute into the game. The first shift of the game and near tragedy strikes, but more on that later. The first period was entertaining, that's for sure. Five powerplay goals had the Hawks up 3-2 at the end of 20 minutes. The second period was considerably more calm with no scoring. The only scoring in the third was the empty net goal. Hawks Win, Kane Loses.

The Good
  • I was going to ramble on about how the second powerplay unit of Bolland, Bickell, and Morin was utterly atrocious and Bickell cashes with another laser of a wrist shot. The guy can rip off a wrist shot, I'll give him that, you just have to set him up in the right space with the puck on a platter.

  • Jonny B Goode ran that powerplay to perfection setting up Bolland for a nice goal. Bolland would have gladly screwed it up if Toews hadn't set him up so perfectly. You can thank Pat Kane for going out injured, because without that, you'd still be stuck with one goal for the season.

  • Jonny B Goode did some nice digging to get the 3rd powerplay goal of the night for the Hawks. Nothing flashy, but the result was another red flashing light. Four guys digging for a rebound. I like it!

  • I was glad to see Skillington get some first line playing time when Kane went down. He really deserves it, but not under these circumstances. I can also see how Skillington could annoy other players with his aggressiveness and personality. He just has that annoying quality, but I find it endearing. I also noticed Sharpie fill in for Kaner throughout the night.

  • Leave it up to Dave Bolland to suck it up all year and then hit a perfectly placed 110 footer, right in the center of the net, to ice the game. I guess they just have to make him shoot from his own end the rest of the season.

  • I cant remember seeing much of Cullimore and Boynton in the second half of the game, and I'm happy for that. Cullimore finished with 7 minutes of time, which second behind Big Show's 6 minutes. Boynton only had 11 minutes. All of these I have no problem with, but Dowell and Morin were on;y at about the 11 minute mark as well. If Kane is out for a long period of time you can't have 3 forwards playing 11 minutes or less a game, with one playing 5 minutes.
The Bad
  • Brouwer, Toews, and Kopecky cannot end up our first powerplay line. In no alternate reality, will that ever be a decent powerplay. Poor Jon. One or the other is acceptable but you have to put someone else out there that can actually move the puck, not two guys that excel at standing in front of the net. They might as well hold hands.

  • Crawford was at Iginla's will with that powerplay goal. Not a whole lot he could do with the screen going on in front of him, and one of the leagues best snipers firing at him. He might have shat his pants just a little, when he noticed who was shooting.

  • The Penalty kill was starting to look pretty atrocious, in itself, with that Babchuk snipe. It was a pretty well placed shot, and Crawford didn't stand much of a chance on this one either. Its hard to pick up a laser beam like that when you're moving across in the opposite direction.
The Ugly
  • Well, there is really only one ugly part about this game, and that was the first shift of the game where Pat Kane went down with an apparent leg injury. Everyone is speculating but it looked like a broken or severely sprained ankle to me. Quenneville was very elusive after the game, saying that he would "Miss some time", but it wasn't "that bad". With the latest trend of injury reports, that might be the most specific report we get. I fully expect to hear that the report is that he "Will miss a while with an injury in the lower body region".
Editor's note: I'm playing around with a new format that will make it a little more clear for everyone to read, and maybe help the readers who read from mobile devices. Please send feedback. I'd like you to be able to actually read and follow my anger and sarcasm. Happy Festivus to all my readers, and thank you for continuing to put up with my cantankerous attitude.

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Baba-Lu Get Revenge

The game started slow with a couple of chances, but even the Malhotra breakaway ended up not being much. After a couple of powerplays both ways, the First ended 0-0. The Canucks got a lucky rebound and Tanner Glass put it past Turco, for the only scoring of the second. The Nucks added two so/so goals in the third and the Hawks were shut out for the first time this season.

The Good

I like to see Morin on the PP, and I like to see him coming to his teammates aid. He set up Sharpie for a nice play in the second that Sharpie put over the net. Great feed! Just too bad it amounted to a hill of beans. The kid belongs in Chicago, though.

The PK looked excellent, early on. They're really missing Pisani out there, aren't they? Not much you can do when 2 of the 3 goals are scored even strength. Even the powerplay goal wasn't exactly their fault.

Captain Serious made a gorgeous move around the Nucks d-man, but couldn't hit the net. Again, no conversion.

Glad to see TomoKop answering my callouts with two of the Hawks best chances, but put the fucking puck in the net! His penalties didn't exactly help either.

The Bad

The Canucks first goal by Tanner Glass was a result of Big Show Scott not being able to carry the puck in the neutral zone, but you have to clear the rebound or cover the fucking puck as it's siting there in front of you. The Canucks turned it back and eventually picked up a juicy rebound, and stuffed it in the net.

The Second goal, on the Nucks Powerplay, was all Turco. Ehrhoff just snapped a beautiful writer that sniped Turco. C'mon Marty, you're making me look like a real asshole. I'm to a point where I feel more comfortable with Crawford in there. I've defended Turco since before he even signed here, but it's looking more and more like he's going to end up as a backup. Now, of course, that goal never mattered because the Hawks couldn't put a single puck in on Vancouver.

The last goal was really a nothing goal, because the Hawks were pinching and looking to start something. You'd like to see Turco recover better than that. After the Goal went in, Turco slowly rolled over like a beaten man. He's just not looking confident anymore. There was a shot fired off the post with about 2 and a half left in the third too, that Turco looked lethargic on. I'm sorry, Marty, because I like you, but you belong on the bench.

The Ugly

The Hawks home troubles continue. It's not that the Hawks didn't generate chances, they just never finished (that's what she said). Borat just had an excellent game. Every bounce and rebound went his way. He earned the shutout. As much as Eddie and Pat tried to jinx him by saying "shutout" it just didn't matter. The Canucks only managed 18 shots, which is not bad

I'm not sure exactly why Pick-To-Click Vik sat the bench for the latter half of the game, but if it was for his play, it wasn't deserved. I saw him playing with Sharpie and Skille for one shift in the third. Who really knows what is going on with that.

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Black and Blues

The Blues came out with a few nice chances early, but Crawford was up to the task, and the first ended 2-1 Hawks with a couple of nice goals by the Hawks. In the Second, the Hawks exploded for 3 goals, but it didn't last. The Blues came roaring back in the Third, and kept it close for a 7-5 final.

The Good
Just as I call out TomoKop, he snaps off the first goal of the game, and collects 3 assists. I'll call him out EVERY game if we get production like this. I can't say anything bad about that performance.

This was the night for call outs, as Big Show Scott and Janssen squared off, like I had predicted. Big Show certainly took the win, but Janssen is no Kevin Wesgarth and took it like a man. I give him credit, because he stood toe to toe with a much bigger man, and Scott did the only job he is any good at.

Shapie is absolutely on fire again, and made a great move/head fake combo on his goal. He made it look effortless. That line started the game with a plus 2, which is GREAT for Morin and Kopecky.

Brouwer's PP goal couldn't have been much easier, or embarrassing for the Blues. John Scott could have head butted that one into the net, with his empty cranium. Conklin didn't really bust his ass to get back in the net though, did he? Thanks for the effort, Ty. That's as plus 3 for Morin, as well.

Conklin really just looked like ass all night. That Toews powerplay goal just CAN'T go in. It should have been a slam dunk save, and it ended up in the net. The first Kaner goal wasn't his fault, because his defense left Kaner wide open right in front of the net, but the second one was bad. Stalberg beats him, and it ricochets off the post to Kane, who was allowed to poke it in. SOFT AS BABY SHIT.

The Seventh goal was just pretty, with a great fancy pants pass from TomoKop to Toews. You can't ask for much more than 7 goals with 3 coming on the powerplay. Well, other than your defense to NOT give up a 5-1 lead and eventually give up a total of 5 goals.

I don't want to give a recap without mentioning Jeremy Morin's welcome back with an assist and a fight. Give em hell, Kiddo. Rumor has it that those two fought in the "A" a little while back, and have some history.

The Bad
WOW, leave it up to Quenneville's stellar line combinations to have Boynton, Cullimore and John Scott all out on the ice at the same time. Skillington and The Snake must have been wondering what they did to deserve that group of cement shoes. What did you THINK would happen with those guys out there?

And, of course what kind of game would it be without a Dave Bolland asshole play? First he interferes with a Blues player and then the Blues score on the delayed call. Boynton? That scrap is looking better and better isn't it?

The third Blues goal was total Shanghai Fire Drill, and leave it up to John Scott's point man to put the puck in the net. That's 2 of three goals that Scott was out there for. Boynton? Momentum? Heard of it?

Goal Four...Boynton and Cullimore...How many times do I have to stress that shit show of a line? Sure, put them out there with useless Dave Bolland, and Slow Bickell and Brouwer, too. That Quenneville is a master line strategist isn't it? AWESOME! Dick? Momentum?

Speaking of Bolland; How about roofing it on that break, Davey? I didn't think so, just poke it into Conklin's pads, because we didn't need that goal anyway. And winning that faceoff right into the crowd? EPIC! He's really becoming a caricature of himself.

The Ugly
I would have normally just labeled this as "bad", but here was the turning point in the Hawks momentum. This just basically swung the game into a total state of chaos, with a single bonehead move. The Crombeen/Boynton fight. Give Crombeen all the credit in the world, because he baited an obviously mentally inferior man into a pointless fight. Boynton then pretty much proceeded get his dick beat in the dirt. Way to give in and change the momentum, Alligator Arms. Not only did you hurt Hossa, and not only were you were out there being completely ineffective during two goals against, BUT you changed the momentum in the Blues favor. You're just batting 1.000 aren't you? THIS is better than Jordan Hendry? Seriously? The only thing he DIDN'T do is rape Quenneville's wife and murder his kids. When does this madness end?

Here are the video highlights:

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Boss 81 Officially Out, Morin Officially in, Boynton Officially Useless

As reported by Tracy Myers at CSN, Boss 81 collided with Dick Boynton, and was assisted off the ice during yesterday's practice favoring his right leg. Today it was announced that Boss 81 will be out 2-3 weeks with the always exciting and specific "lower body injury". This could mean that he misses as few as 6, or as many as 9 games. One can only guess as to the exact nature but I'd guess a knee or an ankle tweak, because we already know he can skate with his balls of steel. This could be disastrous for Kopecky, because without his #81 security blanket he tends to disappear. Mix that with the fact that Bolland has been completely useless and Bickell can't do much but shoot the puck, and you have the makings of something aweful. As a result of the injury, Jeremy Morin hopped a Greyhound from Rockford, and will probably be skating with Sharpie and Troy Brouwer tonight. Let's hope Morin's first trip to the doghouse was enough to keep him from pissing on the carpet anymore, because I doubt Quenneville will have him on a very long leash. I'm looking forward to seeing his first NHL goal, and hoping it comes very soon. Good luck, 27!

Also, All signs point to Pisani being out again tonight, and instant YouTube legend Big Show Scott on the Forth line. I'm actually good with this, because St Louis is known for their douche baggery, and dress noted ball sack Cam Janssen. I'm looking for a Scott vs. Janssen main event, tonight. If Scott can do that, I'll start to give him some serious consideration as a legit league enforcer, otherwise he's still just a big, ugly, slow, waste of space. Any assclown can have their 10 seconds of fame on YouTube, but it takes some work to gain a reputation in this league, kid.

Lastly, The Hawks will face Ty Conklin tonight, so we don't have to worry about any Jaroslav Halak heroics. Thank GOD!

Here are your lines for tonight:
Pick-To-Click Vik / Captain Serious / Kaner
Brouwer / Sharpie / Morin
Bickell / Bolland / Kopecky
Big Show / Jake The Snake / Skillington

Sunday, November 28, 2010

King Crawford

The first period wasn't exactly worth staying up for. Other than a couple of Hawks chances, the Kings had the majority of quality chances on tips. No harm, no foul, as the period finished 0-0. The Second started with a lot of the same. Powerplays both ways, but no goals. Finally, about halfway through the Hawks broke through on a great goal, and the second period ended 1-0. The Third opened up with a fluke goal by the Hawks, and the Kings finally dented the net thanks to a 5-on-3. The scoring ended there, and the Hawks go home after a 4-2 road trip for the second year in a row.

The Good
Corey Crawford looked great again. He seemed to be in front of every tip and every shot. On top of his game, for sure. I've always liked this kid, and nothing makes me happier than to see him succeed. Keep it up, Corey.

Finally, we're seeing some Pick-To-Click Vik on the powerplay, even if all talent is sucked out of him by Bolland and Brouwer. It's a step in the right direction.

That was the Shooter and Kaner I know and love. You can't get a more perfect and pretty goal, on a 2-on-1, with two more hungry snipers. That was simply unfair, and the crumpled mess of goalie and defensman in the net was evidence of that. If that was at home, it would warrant a standing ovation.

ATTENTION: This is not a typo or misplacement. For the first time EVER you are going to see John Scott in the GOOD category. The "ultra-mo" of Scott Pummeling Kevin Westgarth's face, was an INSTANT classic. GREAT use of the available technology! BUT, and this is a big "but", if Pat Foley is going to keep up this "(random worthless cementhead), you have just been THUNDERSTRUCK" I'm going to have the choke the life out of him. PLEASE, knock that dumb shit off. It's cliche and painfully moronic. I use to proudly watch wrestling and that silly shit is even too embarrassing for the WWE. Anyhow, I don't want to rain on Scott's parade, so great fight Big John.

The Bad
Did you notice Fernadog Pisani was out of the lineup before Pat and Eddie mentioned it? I didn't think so. He's been Dave Bolland invisible for a while now. And speaking of Dave Bolland, how does that leg feel after taking that shot in the wheel?

The result was good, but the second Hawks goal was a bad one for the Kings. Sloppy and and fluke. We'll take it, and so will Kane.

Dave Bolland needs to carry Corey Crawford's bags back to Chicago for putting him in that 3-on-5 situation. Number 36...dragging down teammates since September of 2010.

The Ugly
With that failure of a mustache, Drew Doughty looks like his name should be Dirty Sanchez. Please put that mess out of it's misery. Chuck Norris's beard is offended, you little twit.

Here are the video highlights:

Friday, November 26, 2010

Duck Hunt

So, after the San Jose debacle, Quenneville decided to change up the defensive pairings and rightfully so. Keith was back with his hetero-lifemate Seabrook, Campbell was back with Hammer, and the wonder duo of Cullimore and Boynton were together. I feel sorry for anyone working with that line, because that's a boat full of suck.

The Good
Corey Crawford looked good early and often, especially on the Sexton breakaway. You can't fault him for a powerplay tip five feet in front of the net. He's moving better and better each game, and that's very promising if this Turco experiment goes bad. I couldn't be more happy to see Crawford do well.

The shorthanded goal led by Patrick Sharp that Duncan Keith snuck between Hiller's pads. I can't say enough about the patience of Shooter to curl around, and let his teammates catch up without giving up possesion of the puck, and then following it up with a great pass to Duncs. HUGE goal under HUGE circumstances. That's exactly what Captains should be doing. Sharpie, Duncs, and Toews all taking part in a crucial play. It's about time!

Pick-to-click Vik looked like a mad man out there. He was skating past EVERYONE, and was beating every Ducks D-Man to the loose pucks. I really think I read somewhere that Stalberg could end up matched with the Dynamic Duo, when all is said and done. Must have been some strikingly handsome guy.

HJAAAAAAAAL-MAR-SSON! Finally, we see something other than Nik eating puck sammiches. He made a nice play around the Ducks winger to open up a lane and blasted it past Hiller. A well deserved goal for a guy that has had to take up an ugly job and an awful beating thus far for the Hawks.

IT'S ALIIIIIVE! Troy Brouwer finally showed up for a game with a big hit causing a turnover, and then finishing the play on the other end with a goal. I guess all you need to do to wake someone up is put them on the forth line. "Dave Bolland, Calling Dave Bolland. Your spot on line four is calling you!". Just too bad Skille has been there all season and has shown to be more than alive, but continues to be banished to Siberia.

The Bad
The Ducks powerplay goal, was a bad tip. What can ya do? The defense should have been giving Sexton more of "the business", but they didn't and it ended up in the net. With so much going on in a shorthanded situation, it's hard to do everything perfect, which they obviously didn't do.

The Ducks Andy Sutton just happens to be a enormous vagina. As much as I don't like Cullimore, I don't want to see him decapitated by Sutton, and it's nice to see Boynton show signs of life other than giving the puck up in his own zone. I would have liked to see Nick pound his fist down Sutton's throat for the attempted homicide, but Sutton is a huge vag and just grabbed Boynton and held on for dear life. Sissy bitch. Take your medicine like a man. Sure enough, Karma kicked his ass, when he turned it over to Sharpie, who tickled a little top cheese on Hiller.

The Ugly
Not much ugly here, and since Eddie was reminiscing about Ox Baker, I thought I'd post up the autographed picture he was talking about...

Here are the video highlights:

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