• Welcome to the all new, redesigned Puckin Hostile

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  • The Puckin Hostile Blackhawks Shoutcast

    Join the Hostile crew for this bi-weekly look at the NHL and Blackhawks hockey. Of course, it just wouldn't feel right without plenty of inappropriate jokes and references. Available on iTunes and Soundcloud.

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Thursday, December 31, 2015

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast - Episode 46



In this Puckin Hostile Shoutcast number 46, the Dmitri Nabokov episode, the Puckin Hostile clowns are back together for a year end "Airing of Grievances" episode, where Gate is seconds from either vomiting or crapping his pants for the entire 2 1/2 hours.

The group discuss the following:
-We end 2015 on a sober note. RIP Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead)
-Gate is introduced to NHL Network's Kelly Nash
-Fatrick gets lit up by a fat old mediocre face puncher
-Special segment for the second annual New Years Eve Eve Shoutcast
-The Hockey Press just wont go away
-World Junior Championships and over reacting
-Marcus Kruger has a serious injury, and Fatrick cries into his McRib
-Games vs Oilers, Sabres, Sharks, Stars, Hurricanes, and Quebec Coyotes
-Blackhawks roster moves including Philip Danault, David Rundblad and Erik Gustafsson
-Loyal listener questions from Matt Grunow
-Puckin Hostile Holiday Roadwatch bust
-And as always, an abundance of inappropriate references and jokes in very bad taste

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link: iTunes

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast - Episode 46 MP3 Direct Download

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Music by "The Bloodline"



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Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Blackhawks at Arizona
7-5 Win Recap

"Born To Lose"
(Click the Title, RIP LEMMY)
by Gatekeeper

For the last game of 2015, the Blackhawks traveled to sunny Arizona to face the lowly, but promising, Coyotes. The Blackhawks came off a pretty eventful day as far as they are concerned. They placed David Rundblad on waivers and called up defenseman Erik Gustafsson from Rockford. This was enough for all of us reasonable mammals to celebrate, but there was still danger of him coming back since no one claimed him off waivers. This was also the first time the Blackhawks faced their former team translator, Viktor Tikhonov, who was claimed on waivers by the Coyotes, who are actually serious about letting the poor kid actually play some hockey rather than eat all the bags of pretzels and peanuts in the press box.

The Hawks and Yotes opened up the game like the wild fucking west, Tuesday night. It started off pretty innocently but the powerplays began about five minute in, all hell then broke loose. The two team combined for power play goals on all of the first three, before the game was 10 minutes old. Sprinkle in an even strength goal and wrap this shit show up with a final minute powerplay goal and you have a 3-2 first period. The real laugher of this period was that the Blackhawks were out shot 12-5. WOOF

Understandably, the Yotes made a goalie switch for the second period, turning to a rookie named Louis Domingue. He thanked them by giving up a goal that was even worse than the one his opposing netminder gave up in the first period. The powerplays definitely slowed as far as production goes in the middle period as well. After the dust settled in this period, the Blackhawks had scored 2 goals on 17 shots while the Yotes were held scoreless on 14.

The third period can be best described as "sloppy" as far as the Blackhawks are concerned. Luckily for them, they were playing a team that was LITERALLY scoring on themselves. The Blackhawks went up 6-2 early on, but then proceeded to let the home team back in the game by giving up 3. When the game mercifully came to an end, the Blackhawks finished 2015 with a 7-5 win. All looks the same in the standings, right? Have a Happy New Year, everyone.

The Good
  • The Blackhawks powerplay is just maddening. They look like total dogshit for the first half, so much so that Edzo was suggesting they play dump and chase the rest of the advantage after a Jonathan Toews live grenade to Teravainen led to a shorthanded 2-on-1. They turn right around the next shift and easily break the Coyotes defense which leads to Duncan Keith's powerplay goal.
  • A minute after the Keith goal, the Blackhawks scored a second powerplay goal. This time from slumping Artem Anisimov. It was a pretty simple play that led to a long laser from the point, which Anisimov redirected in front.
  • Stand down, everybody! Looks like all the Blackhawks ills are cured, guys. The biggest Hawks problem is fixed. The guy that was holding everybody back, Artemi Panarin, scored.
    Anyhow, Artemi Panarin, the pleasantly overachieving rookie that is 38 games into his NHL career, closed out the the final first period power play with a long snipe over Lindback, giving the Blackhawks a 3-2 lead.
  • You know you are having a bad night when you give up a bouncing 50 foot wrist shot goal from Andrew Desjardins, two minutes into your night. Welcome to the game, Louis Domingue. It got worse.
  • With just over 6 minutes remaining in the second period Andrew Shaw found Patrick Kane across the slot with a nice pinpoint pass, and Domingue had zero chance to get over in enough time to even attempt to stop Kane's shot. The Yotes are fucking awful. It should also be pointed out that the play was started by a nice keep-in and pass from Erik Gustafsson. No use for a guy like that on this team!
  • Max Domi is a player. Kid has some serious talent. Let's all hope none of Shitstain Doan's repulsive sliminess rubs off on the kid.
  • Erik Gustafsson was barely noticeable in 14:43 of time. He ended up with a plus 3, and an assist. Perfect for his spot. Just be serviceable. That he was, which is more than anyone can say for Rob Suck-deri.
  • Hey, shit, Michael Rozival was alright too, eh? He matched his partner's +3, of course, in 13:23. That has to count for something right, Beetlejuice?

The Bad
  • Zybanek Michalek tied the game for the Coyotes, at 2, with almost 8 minutes remaining in the FIRST FUCKING PERIOD. Dennis Rasmussen got caught running around in the Hawks zone, after he turned the puck over. Oliver Ekman-Larsson wound up behind the Blackhawks net with about half a day to find Michalek for a one timer past Crawford.
  • Shitstain Doan got his second goal of the game with about 12:30 remaining in the third period, on the powerplay. There were about 4 asses in Crawford's grill, which MAY have been a contributing factor.
  • Andrew Shaw had a breakaway from center ice, and you might have some idea how that ended. "Hands of Stone" fumbled the puck like a virgin with a bra strap, on prom night, after faking Domingue out.
  • Connor Murphy brought the game back within 2 goals with seven minutes remaining in the game. Tobias Rieder hit Murphy with a pass across the high slot and Murphy used an Antoine Vermette screen to beat Crawford. With all the crazy goalie interference calls this year, Quenneville had to be hoping they would take a look when he called timeout after. Was enough to make you wonder.
  • Shitstain Doan finished off the hat trick with 27 seconds remaining in the game, on the powerplay. When nothing mattered. The appropriate time for him to tie the franchise record for career goals, when no one else gave a rat's ass. Clearly the "fans" didn't because there was ONE fucking hat thrown on the ice. That's both insulting and pitiful. Throw your hats out there, you fucking jackals!
  • The Blackhawks gave up 37 shots, and somehow managed to score 7 on only 28 of their own. Kick your own asses, 'Zona. Seriously...

The Ugly
  • The third powerplay of the game, and first by Arizona, yielded a simply BRUTAL goal given up by Corey Crawford. Shitstain Doan was on the half boards and just flipped the puck lightly at the net. The puck bounced innocently in front of Crawford and took a sharp left on him. Ugly looking goal, but the puck bounces funny sometimes. I guess. He should have honestly pulled a Pudge Fisk and gotten his entire body in front of that puck. He gave it the "Ole", and it handcuffed him something fierce.
  • Andrew Desjardins' second goal of the game came with about 5 minutes gone in the third. Teravainen found him in behind the the Yotes defense and hit him with a great pass. Desjardins got off a shot that Domingue saved, but Grossman plowed into the crease and put the puck into his own net. This was a game of Benny Hill style goals.
  • Late in the third there was some incidental contact between Zybanek Michalek and Marian Hossa at the Hawks blue line. Unfortunately, Michalek's head made contact with Hossa's shoulder because Michalek was bent over reaching for the puck. Foley was completely mystified as to why Michalek laid face down on the ice for a good minute after the play, even after seeing the replay. The best he could come up with was "looks like there could have been some knee, to knee contact". At that moment, you were the dumbest person watch this game. Pull yourself together.
  • Bryan Bickell is so utterly terrible that Quenneville limitted him to 6:47 of ice time. He still inexplicably managed to take a penalty and go -2. When the best thing Pat Foley can say about a $4 Million player is that he had 5 hits in his previous game, that is an atrocious player.
  • While we're at it, I'm going to tell you something that none of you probably realized. Ryan Garbutt dressed and played. "Played" being a relative term, because he was on the ice for miniscule 5:50. Enough said.
  • Dennis Rasmussen centered this immense and gaping black hole of a line, and his reward was 6:21 time on ice.

The Lineblender
Shaw - Toews - Hossa
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Bickell - Rasmussen - Garbutt
Teravainen - Danault - Desjardins

Keith - van Riemsdyk
Hjalmarsson - Seabrook
Rozsival - Gustafsson


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Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Blackhawks at Dallas
4-0 Shutout Loss Recap

"Merry F#%king Christmas"
by Gatekeeper

Here it is, Folks. The big one. The division leading, back-to-back off-season champion Dallas Stars. The Blackhawks rolled into Dallas with some bumps an bruises. Marian Hossa was out with an upper body injury, and the Hawks were still getting adjusted to the loss of 4th line center Marcus Kruger. The Stars had been whipping some NHL ass, coming into this one. Their record was 25-7-2 with 8 more points than our heroes, at 52. The Blackhawks road record was a paltry, almost putrid, 6-7-3. To drill things down even finer, Jamie Benn, Tyler Seguin, and Patrick Kane had themselves a fine little points race going on. They were 1-2-3 coming into the game, and 1-2-4 in the entire league goals. For those looking for that narrative, the Blackhawks were to face former Hawks cup winners Patrick Sharp, Johnny Oduya and Antti Niemi, while the Stars were sure to get a tepid dose of Ryan Garbutt. Probably just enough to remember why they don't miss him.

The pace of the first period as everything we were hoping for, but the scoring chances left alot to be desired. The Blackhawks were given two powerplays, but couldn't muster more than 3 shots total. The Stars actually had the majority of the few scoring chances that were generated. If I told you that these two teams would combined for 10 shots in the period, you would have told me to shut the hell up.

The second period showed a little more promise than the first, for both teams. The Stars got their power play "even up" calls, and they took advantage on one of said power plays. Believe it or not, the Blackhawks actually out shot the Stars by a pretty decent margin, 14-8, but all it took was one for the Stars to take a lead. This game was starting to give one the feeling of one of those "former teammate bites the hand that fed him" games, with the way Antti Niemi was playing, and guess what?

The third period was a fucking abortion. The Stars scored eleven seconds in and ran away with the game. The Blackhawks managed THREE lousy fucking shots in the third period, and a total of 20 overall. That will win you exactly no games. Now we all have to munch on this shit sandwich for 5 days.

The Good


The Bad
  • The two first period powerplays were just brutal. In fact, the Hawks gave up a pretty decent shorthanded chance to Jamie Benn, early on.
  • Ryan Garbutt and Andrew Desjardins had a pretty good second period 2-on-1 chance with one little problem, it was Garbutt and Desjardins. Not so much Garbutt, because he was able to get a good shot off and produce a rebound for Desjardins, who then put it right into a prone Antti Niemi.
  • Just eleven seconds into the third period, Patrick Sharp snuck in behind Duncan Keith and Jamie Benn was able to drop a pass in on Sharp's stick. After shooting on Crawford for years in practice, Sharp knew just where to deposit the puck. We miss you, Sharpie! Wish you didn't make so much damn cabbage.
  • Rob Scuderi took a puck in the beak, in the third period. That required some stitches.
  • Crawford was exposed pretty bad in this one, but it could have also been 6-0.

The Ugly
  • I can only hope that Quenneville found some warmth in that cold dead heart of his, when he started the 4th line, and Ryan Garbutt against his former team.
  • Halfway through the second period, Jason Spezza finally opened the scoring. Spezza worked a ice little one touch give-n-go with Patrick Sharp, and had Crawford dead to rights. Crawford actually covered the post pretty well, but the puck snuck through. I would have though that Spezza would have gone long side, but he didn't.
  • Antoine Roussel is a flaccid penis with ears. I may only hate one player more, and that is Steve "The Pirate" Ott. Fuck both of those guys in the bung with a sizzling soldering iron.
  • Just under three minutes after the Sharp goal, Colton Sceviour redirected a long Jordie Benn shot past Crawford, to give the Stars a 3-0 lead. Call me #TeamMiserable, but there is little chance you're going to come back against a team with this fire power, especially one that has scored the most 3rd period goals in the league.
  • The Blackhawks had pretty much just given up by the time Mattias Janmark used Michal Rozsival like the pylon he is, and banked the puck off him into the Blackhawks net.
  • The Blackhawks were shut out by the team ranked 17th in goals against. Let that sink in.
  • Hello, Trevor van Riemsdyk! Here is YOUR -3 for Christmas.
  • I'm so glad Brandon ManSHITTER dressed for 5:56. At this point the fact that he is actually paid a salary is fucking larceny. He should be forced to pay his way onto the rink like rat hockey players do. Can Q put an actual useful player on the ice, and knock this shit off?f
  • Speaking of useless sacks of shit:

The Lineblender
Teravainen - Toews - Shaw
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Bickell - Rasmussen - Mashinter
Desjardins - Danault - Garbutt

Keith - van Riemsdyk
Hjalmarsson - Seabrook
Rozsival - Scuderi


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Saturday, December 19, 2015

Blackhawks at Buffalo3-2 Shootout Win Recap

"The Great Pretender"

by Gatekeeper

Well, the Puckin Hostile Road Watch was a huge bust, and so was the game we watched. That is alright, because we all knew that doing a roadwatch on the Saturday before Christmas was an awful idea. Eh, big deal.

The Blackhawks came out in the first period and took a quick 1-0 lead, but then went into winter hibernation. Two straight Sabres goals put the Blackhawks in a hole which they eventually dug themselves out of very late in the game.

The game went to overtime, in a rare no 3-vs-3, because of powerplays each way. When the game finally hit the shootout, the Blackhawks first of the season, it played out exactly how you would have thought. Patrick Kane was the only scorer, and the Blackhawks took the extra point.

The Good
  • Dennis Rasmussen might very well be a thing. He put the Blackhawks up in the first period with a power move around Evander "I'm the second best" Kane. Once he was in on Chad Johnson, he was able to lift a shot up and over Johnson's glove for a 1-0 lead. All looked like it was going to go the Hawks way. Not so much.
  • You could not have scripted this result any better. Blackhawks and Sabres are tied with under 2 minutes to go and who scores on the 6-on-3 advantage? Patrick Fucking Kane. Because, of course. It took them FAR too long to score, also. According to stats, they are third in the league in powerplay scoring, but they take damn need 2 full minutes to score on a 6-on-3 advantage against a team who's PK is in the 20's. This 3rd in the league shit is going to come crashing down, soon.
  • Phillip Danault had an alright debut. He played bout 11 and a half minutes. He was on the ice for the Franson goal, but that had nothing to do with him.

The Bad
  • The Ryan O'Reilly goal was a result of a Blackhawks defensive crossup. O'Reilly gave the puck up to Sam Reinhart and both Blackhawks defenders just left O'Reilly alone. Reinhart found O'Reilly on the back door and Crawford had no chance.
  • Two Sabres penalties on the same play was an absolute gift.

The Ugly
  • This game was painfully boring. PAINFULLY
  • As #Fatrick said, "Stunning, Gate and I are watching a game which there was no 3 on 3 OT, and game goes to a shootout. Blame #TeamMiserable"
  • Ryan O'Reilly, Tyler Ennis, and Zemgus Girgensons all failed in the shootout. What about that Eichel kid?
  • Speaking of Jack "The Greatest American Hero" Eichel. He played 18:55, or so I'm told.
  • The Cody Franson goal was brutal. Crawford went behind the net to play it, the puck hopped over his stick and he just assumed that Andrew Desjardins was going to bail him out. He half assed it back into the net and Desjardins didn't help any. Franson had a pretty open net to hit, and he did.
  • Thanks to everyone who showed up to the Roadwatch. All four of us. If I hear one more complaint of "when are you doing a roadwatch?", I'm pointing to this recap. At least it was people I actually like.

The Lineblender
Teravainen - Toews - Hossa
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Bickell - Rasmussen - Shaw
Garbutt - Danault - Desjardins

Keith - van Riemsdyk
Hjalmarsson - Seabrook
Rozsival - Scuderi


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Thursday, December 17, 2015

Blackhawks vs Oilers
4-0 Shutout Win Recap

"You're Better Off Dead"

by Gatekeeper

The Blackhawks were back at the United Center Thursday night to face the Oilers, after a pretty poor offensive effort against the Avalanche Tuesday night. That is, the Connor McClavicle-less Edmonton Oilers. The Kane point streak was finally over, and the circus surrounding it. Thank god.

The Blackhawks jumped out to a lead 1-0 in the first period and never looked back. They also out shot the Oilers 14-9 which set up some great momentum. Generally though, it was a pretty boring period.

The Second period has more action as far as shots, but the scoring was identical to the first. The Blackhawks added another goal, to take a 2-0 lead. The Oilers did, however, put in a better effort forth, getting out shot by only one, 15-16.

While the Oilers had the advantage in third period shots 9-7, the Blackhawks were able to make the most of their shots. The Blackhawks put the icing on a 4-0 shutout win with 2 late goals. All in all, this was a perfect game for the Blackhawks. Next up, the American Hero Jack Eichel and the Sabres in Buffalo, on Saturday.

The Good
  • Jonathan Toews opened up the scoring for the game with six minutes remaining in the first period. Teuvo Teravainen started the play with a breakout from Hawks the half boards to Marian Hossa. Hossa then carried the puck into the zone 2-on-1 with Jonny Toews breaking. Hossa saucered a perfect pass to Toews across the slot for a one timer over Talbot's glove. Tell me again what is wrong with Teravainen playing left wing on that line?
  • Just past the halfway point in the second period, Teuvo Tervainen gave the Blackhawks a 2-0 lead. Jonathan Toews, and Marian Hossa did some perfect forechecking deep in the Oilers zone and fed Teravainen for a quick one timer past Talbot.
  • Tervavainen struck once again with about 4 minutes remaining in the game. Teuvo picked up a loose puck in the crease after a Hossa to Toews play, almost identical to the first goal of the game. This time, though, Talbot made he stop, but Teravainen poked the rebound into the net. How many times do we have to beg for Teravainen to play with skill players? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS! STOP JERKING THE POOR KID AROUND!
  • Artemi Panarin followed up the Tervainen goal with one of his own, closing out the Oilers. He was at the end of a really electric shift, where he was pulling his best Patrick Kane impression, skating around the zone unmolested. Brent Seabrook hit hi at the Oilers blue line and he was able to get a step on the pair of Eric Gryba and Andrej Sekera. Once he was clear, Panarin snapped a wrist shot past Talbot's glove. This kid is something else. Speaking of Patrick Kane, he got the secondary assist to extend....wait, we aren't doing this anymore?
  • The first line was dominant for the first time this year. Three points a piece.
  • Rob Scuderi didn't kill the Hawks, so I guess that's a bonus, eh?
  • Ryan Garbutt was in for the Manshitter, thank god.
  • After giving up one "legit" goal Tuesday night, the brick wall Crawford was back, earning his 3rd shutout in 4 games, and saving all 3 shots he faced. A new career high. He's dialed in.
  • Rasmussen has really impressed me thus far. Nothing flashy, but enough skill
  • I never get tired of hearing In Flames on the UC sound system.

The Bad
  • I love Camo Talbot's Ghostbusters mask. Talbot, on the other hand, I'm not impressed with. Glorified backup that was sheltered behind a great starter in New York.
  • You wouldn't guess, but the Blackhawks were actually under 50% at the dots. Rasmussen and Shaw were clowned, winning only 6 of 19.
  • Marcus Kruger hurt himself in the second period and never returned.

The Ugly
  • With about 6 minutes gone in the first period, Nik Hjalmarsson took a pretty harmless Justin Schultz shot to the inside of the left knee, but went down like a bag of bricks. He needed help to get off the ice and then had to go to the locker room. THAT would be a scary situation.
  • Ryan Nugent-Hopkins still looks like he's 11 years old.
  • Harms mentioned a Bickell for Nikitin swap of terrible contracts from underachieving players. I'm not so sure I'd be into that. Nikitin is pretty bad. He had 2 penalties and was out on the ice for 2 of the Hawks goals.

The Lineblender
Teravainen - Toews - Hossa
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Bickell - Rasmussen - Shaw
Garbutt - Kruger - Desjardins

Keith - van Riemsdyk
Hjalmarsson - Seabrook
Rozsival - Scuderi


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Puckin Hostile Shoutcast - Episode 45


In this Puckin Hostile Shoutcast number 45, the Karl Dykhuis episode, the Puckin Hostile clowns stay "hostful" style for a rare back to back week episode.

The group discuss the following:
-Stephen Burtch must be huffing compressed air cans
-Torts and Johansen butt heads in CBJ land
-Roenick's new podcast, and "playing the game"
-Patrick eats Chik-fil-a
-Trevor Daley trade for Rob Scuderi
-Pittsburgh fires their coach
-Patrick Kane Point streak mercifully comes to an end
-Creepy Dan Roan
-Games vs Nashville, Winnipeg, Vancouver and Colorado
-An actual listener submitted question.
-Looking back, Derek asks should they have traded Shaw rather than Versteeg?
-Puckin Hostile Holiday gathering / Roadwatch
-And as always, an abundance of inappropriate references and jokes in very bad taste.

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link: iTunes

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast - Episode 45 MP3 Direct Download

You can listen below on the Talkshoe player:


Get the Shoutcast on Soundcloud here:


Also, Please check out and share the Puckin Hostile Stanley Cup Highlight video:


Music by "The Bloodline"


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Sunday, December 13, 2015

Blackhawks vs Canucks
4-0 Shutout Win Recap

"Manshitter Kills Mankind"

by Gatekeeper

The Blackhawks rode their red hot scoring leader and a Friday night shutout back at the United Center, to face the Vancouver Canucks Sunday night. The Blackhawks powerplay was also about as warm as the 65 degree December temperatures in Chicago, coming in ranked 5th in the league. Patrick Kane was looking to extend his point streak to 26 games.

Quite honestly, the first period was boring as all hell for this one. If not for a Blackhawks powerplay, there might not have been any scoring chances at all. There were only eight shots aside, and just the one Blackhawks powerplay goal.

The second period was a little more exciting, but not much. Thanks to a couple more powerplays each way, the goalies had to wake up long enough to make a couple of really nice saves. Patrick Kane had a more active period as well, getting a few grade A chances. The Canucks had 13 shots on net, to the Blackhawks 11.

The Third period was pretty much all Chicago. The Blackhawks scored 3 goals, including an open netter. The Canucks had a goal negated and were out shot 11-9, which led to a 4-0 final score and Corey Crawford's 4th shutout of the year. Nothing to complain about right there. Next up are the Colorado Avalanche and their hobo coach.

The Good
  • The powerplay continued to gel, roughly half way through the first period. Duncan Keith took an Artemi Panarin pass from the corner, and used an Artem Anisimov screen to beat Ryan Miller. on a side note, league scoring leader Patrick Kane extended his point streak to 26 with a secondary assist.
  • The Blackhawks took a 2-0 lead halfway through the third period after a nice breakout by the Blackhawks third line, Dennis Rasmussen made a touch pass to Bryan Bickell. Bickell had about 72 hours to size up Miller, but Miller got a piece of Bickell's shot but it was trickling towards the net. Rasmussen followed the play and poked it into the net.
  • Corey Crawford got his second straight shutout, with 30 saves. Back to back shutouts are a rare thing for him, so enjoy it. He's done it twice this season, but only 3 times in his career.
  • The Hawks were dominant at the dots, willing 64% of their draws.
  • I cannot say enough about the Russians. Panarin and Anisimov have be outstanding.

The Bad
  • I've gone from being a Bryan Bickell apologist to a Bryan Bickell detractor. He had several chances to bury the puck, or at least get a shot on net. He couldn't even get his big meat head mitts on the puck. Whatever they need to do to get rid of that contract needs to be done. I know he had the assist, and probably should have had the goal in the third period, but the rest of the game he looked awful.
  • Rasmussen and the Manshitter played the least for the Blackhawks, but had a combined 3 points. Some nights Hockey is just plain stupid. If Rasmussen keeps this up, he may never see Rockford again, and with good reason.
  • I challenge you to name more than 5 names on the Canucks roster. What a bunch of nobodies.

The Ugly
  • That Pat Foley, "Henrik, where's Daniel? He's looking for Daniel." is so fucking annoying. So much so that it diverts my attention from the game. Knock that stupid shit off, Pat.
  • How fucking embarrassing. After the Shaw empty netter, the Canucks then allowed The Manshitter to score his first NHL goal. I cannot express how terrible this is. There MIGHT only be one worse player in the league, and he goes by the name John Howard Scott.

The Lineblender
Teravainen - Toews - Hossa
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Bickell - Rasmussen - Shaw
Mashinter - Kruger - Desjardins

Keith - Hjalmarsson
van Riemsdyk - Seabrook
Daley - Rundblad


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Thursday, December 10, 2015

Blackhawks at Nashville
5-1 Loss Recap

"I'm Broken"

by Gatekeeper

The Blackhawks first period was one of the worst in recent memory. They weren't able to even get a shot on net in the first 6 or 7 minutes of the game. The Blackhawks had about as many shots on net and the Predators had goals, midway through the period. It took 2 fights, 3 goals against, and 18 opposing shots for the initial twenty minutes to mercifully come to an end. Not a second too soon, because the Hawks were getting laughed out of Smashville at that point.

The second period was much more tolerable than the first. Not that it could have possibly been any worse. The Blackhawks were able to stop the bleeding, but weren't able to initiate any offense of their own. Shots on net swung completely back in the Blackhawks favor, 13-8, but there were no goals scored in the sandwich stanza.

The Blackhawks looked like they were actually interesting in the third period, but the problem was that they had already dug themselves a 0-3 hole. They ended up getting outscored 2-1 in the third even though they out shot the Preds for a second period in a row 16-8. The Preds jumped on a bad turnover and then scored a 100 foot empty net shorthanded goal. It was just one of those nights. What are ya going to do?

The Good
  • I really hate the obligatory staged fights, but if Andrew Shaw wants to punch Barret Jackman's face, I can get on board. All this after the Hawks opened the game like a steaming pile of donkey dung.
  • With about five minutes left in the third period, the Blackhawks were the fortunate recipients of a soft Pekka Rinne cover of the puck. Marcus Kruger bolted to follow up a long point shot on net, and Rinne was very nonchalant covering it. It laid loose in the crease and Kane was able to jam it into the net, extending his point streak.
  • When Andrew Shaw is your most consistent player, pack it up.

The Bad
  • With about 4 minutes left in the first period, Crag Smith and Viktor Arvidsson got in behind Trevor van Riemsdyk and Brent Seabrook. Darling made the initial save but the puck lay creeping towards the goal line and just squeaked over the line.
  • While I didn't the the Shaw fight, Paul Gaustad trying to pick a fight at the end of the first period was stupid. Desjardins probably did a good thing taking Rozsival's place so they weren't short a defenseman to start the second, but what did this fight accomplish? Intermission momentum?
  • Artemi Panarin left the game about midway through the second period. Luckily he was back for the third.
  • Steve Konroyd went on about "If the Blackhawks could just tie this up", and that very second, Patrick Kane turned the puck over at the Hawks Blue line to noted embellisher James Neal. Neal led a 2-on-1 and took the shot himself, beating Darling.
  • If it weren't for Anisimov getting his ass whipped at the dots, the rest of the Hawks centers were over 50%. Gaustad and Jarnkrok stick it up his ass, beating him 8 of 10.
  • Patrick Kane played more than any Blackhawks player at 22:35. That should not happen, EVER.

The Ugly
  • The Hawks couldn't possibly look any worse than they did in the first 6 minutes of the first period. They couldn't get the puck into the Preds one, much less get a shot off.
  • After a stretch that bad, you'd be shocked if there was no goal given up right? Have no fear. James Neal Ended up 1-on-1 with Hjalmarsson, and was able to deke right through Hammer and get Darling moving left to right. Once Neal got Darling moving, the 5 hole was wide open for Neal to hit.
  • Just 18 seconds after the Smith goal, Marcus Kruger took a defensive zone penalty. With one of their top killers in the box, the Blackhawks stood up for 19 whole seconds before Filip Forsberg gave the PERDS a 3-0 lead.
  • Pekka Rinne is fucking terrible at playing the puck. His coach should be pleading with him to not play it.
  • Surprise, Surprise. Barret Jackman had another "illegal check to the head" penalty. Guy is fucking garbage, and let me just mention how fucking hideously scary looking he is.
  • James Neal with 2 goals. KILL ME

The Lineblender
Teravainen - Toews - Hossa
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Bickell - Rasmussen - Shaw
Desjardins - Kruger - Garbutt

Keith - Hjalmarsson
van Riemsdyk - Seabrook
Rundblad - Rozsival

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Puckin Hostile Shoutcast - Episode 44


In this Puckin Hostile Shoutcast number 44, the Patrick Poulin episode, the Puckin Hostile clowns go "hostful" style once again, after a three week long hiatus.

The group discuss the following:

-G8 returns to the roster after some down time
-Pat tries to rip off a HockeeNight.com gimmick
-Spears to the, nose, er ball bag
-John Scott for AllStar
-Terrible Stadium Series jerseys
-Washed up former Blackhawks, pre Stadium Series game roster
-Trevor Daley trade/injury
-Kero and Rasmussen
-Plenty of games
-Ryan Kesler is a chicken shit.
-Patrick Kane Point streak
-Puckin Hostile Holiday gathering / Roadwatch
-And as always, several inappropriate references and jokes in bad taste.

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link: iTunes

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast - Episode 44 MP3 Download

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Music by "The Bloodline"




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Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Blackhawks vs Predators
4-1 Win Recap

"You Got No Right"

by Gatekeeper

After quite a hiatus, due to an unfortunate death in the family, I came back to some strange number numbers skating for the Blackhawks. Come big dopey looking guy wearing 29, and some other Swedish dude wearing 70. Not only that, but Trevor Daley was hurt, and Victor Tikhonov is now an Arizona Coyote. I cannot leave this place to #Fatrick for anything. All hell breaks loose. It was nice to be able to get my mind off all the chaos and back to something little more positive. I missed all of you, as well.

On to the game at hand versus the Nashville Predators.

The Blackhawks came out in the first period with a so/so effort. Getting out shot 12-9 at home, and giving up 3 breakaways isn't exactly what any coach is looking for. Lucky for the Hawks, they went into the intermission up one goal. I'll be damned if I can explain how that happened, because they certainly didn't deserve it. I guess this makes up for all those times they came away with no goals on 20 shots, in a period.

The second period was just much more of the shenanigans that went down in the first period. The Blackhawks were out shot convincingly once again, actually worse, 14-6. If you wrote up a game recap, and told me that the Blackhawks were out shot 26-15 in the first two period, I would tell you that they probably lost 3-1. Oddly enough the Hawks were up 2-1, thanks to a power play goal.

If nothing else, the Blackhawks were consistent. They were out shot in the third period as well, but out scored the Preds 2-0. Granted, one of the goals was and empty netter, but we'll take what we can get, right? Off to Smashville on Thursday.

The Good
  • While he kind of seems all over the ice when he's out with Toews and Hossa, Teuvo Teravainen's skill set really lends well to the the other two. He actually has people that can comprehend his crazy passes. Playing with black holes like Garbutt or anyone in the bottom 6 cannot play at that level. They are, quite simply, overmatched.
  • Almost exactly eleven minutes into the game Dennis Rasmussen redirected a long Andrew Shaw shot past Pekka Rinne for a 1-0 Blackhawks lead.
  • Corey Crawford faced THREE breakaways in the first period alone, and stopped all three. Not too shabby for a guy that sucks. He was consistent all the way through, and the goal he gave up was not his fault at all.
  • The two players you would least expect to contribute on a powerplay goal are Andrew Shaw and David Rundblad. Well if you predicted that, I'll give you some cash to go buy a lottery ticket. Better yet, it was during a cheap shot infraction from our favorite former Blues whipping boy, Barret Jackman. Anyhow, a pass from David Rundblad to Teuvo Teravainen was then saucered to Andrew Shaw for a pretty nice one timer.
  • It took Teuvo Teravainen all of fourteen seconds in the third period to give the Blackhawks a 3-1 lead. He took the puck in all by himself, looked off the defender and snapped a no look laser over Rinne's blocker size. Most people with a brain bigger than a peanut have been screaming to let the kid play with some talent and guess what? He produces. Color me shocked. What fucking brain surgeon figured this out?

The Bad
  • Almost exactly five minutes after the Shaw goal, the Preds Roman Josi made a beautiful play by turning some plug named Duncan Keith around like a top. and then fed Eric Nystrom on the back door, finally beating Crawford.
  • I was really going to roast David Rundblad, and then he got the assist on the power play. He still sucks, but I'll lay off him slightly.
  • Patrick Kane did dick-all for 58 minutes and extended his streak with an empty net goal. Sorry, but this was a mulligan even worse than the previous one.
  • One for the beat writers pointed this out, but most PP time? David Rundblad. KILL ME #DED!

The Ugly
  • It barely took two minutes before the pairing of Rozsival and Rundblad yielded a 2-on-1. Get well soon, Trevor Daley.
  • Ryan Garbutt got a penalty while on the Blackhawks bench, yes, on the bench. Garbutt's loose stick clipped Viktor Arvidsson in the neck, as he skated by the Hawks bench. Careless and stupid.
  • Bryan Bickell took exactly ONE game to return to Quenneville's doghouse. The only player to play less than Bickell was Dennis Rasmussen. This whole charade is getting pathetic. He might be the biggest bust in Blackhawks history. But, HEY, 3 #HITZ, right?
  • Getting out shot 37-24. As the title indicated, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT.

The Lineblender
Teravainen - Toews - Hossa
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Bickell - Rasmussen - Shaw
Desjardins - Kruger - Garbutt

Keith - Hjalmarsson
van Riemsdyk - Seabrook
Rundblad - Rozsival


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