• Welcome to the all new, redesigned Puckin Hostile

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  • The Puckin Hostile Blackhawks Shoutcast

    Join the Hostile crew for this bi-weekly look at the NHL and Blackhawks hockey. Of course, it just wouldn't feel right without plenty of inappropriate jokes and references. Available on iTunes and Soundcloud.

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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast
Episode 82

In this season wrap-up 82nd Puckin Hostile Shoutcast (the Alexandre Fortin episode) Gatekeeper, Fatrick, Bryan, Norton and grisled Shoutcast vet John Jaeckel of Hockey Buzz talk about the Blackhawks embarrassing and disappointing first round playoff exit.

The topics discussed include:
-Hawks swept by the Perds in the first round
-Blackhawks fans were fed a healthy helping of humble pie
-We all have some harsh realities for the Blackhawks
-Mike Kitchen fired. How many more shoes will drop?
-Hawks players seem hesitant to play in the IIHF World Championships.
-Listener/Reader questions
-Big thank you to all the readers and listeners as we go on hiatus for a bit, to decompress and prepare for the off season.
-And of course, as always, an abundance of extremely inappropriate references, jag-douchery, and jokes in incredibly bad taste

Fatrick doesn't miss a trip to the drive thru:

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link: iTunes

Get the Shoutcast directly though Soundcloud here:

For all your custom jersey needs visit Black and Tan Sports at:

Friday, April 21, 2017

Puckin Hostile
"The Day After"

(nice 1983 made-for-TV-movie reference that hardly anyone will get, Gate)

I just wanted to formally throw out my Hostile postmortem, following last night's horribly disappointing sweeping of the Blackhawks.

Some of you will be disappointed that this is not a formal McPology, though, however.

It has been almost exactly 7 years that I have been doing this site, and we have grown more than I could have ever imagined. We have "fives" of fans around the world, a moderately successful podcast, and an actual team of slovenly contributors. I literally could not continue this website, though, without the help of my Puckin Band of Brothers:

Patrick Stankus came on a few years ago, on a whim, and he honestly saved this website. I was at a point where the commitment was simply too much to do alone. I was whittling the content down to weekly wraps and quickly losing steam. I came up with this silly idea for something, not as time consuming, where I could blow off a little steam and have some fun. The Shoutcast was born. #Fatrick was just going to come on as the initial guest, based on our past coach/player relationship (not that kind of relationship, sickos), but episode 1 was so fun that we just kept going. He soon left the site he was writing for and jumped on this Yak Service flight 666. This flight actually got off the ground, and the rest is Hostile history. We all give him a ton of crap, most of it probably deserving, but I simply could not keep this place afloat without him. Behind the scenes he is an enormous (in stature and influence) contributor behind the content we provide. I love the guy like a brother, and I don't think I could ever thank him enough for hanging in here with me.

Bryan/AtomicFroster was yet another whim. A hilarious fan and #Fatrick nemesis that I decided to surprise #Fatrick with on a Shoutcast episode and he never left; well for good. A career shift has limited his involvement, but he keeps our international numbers up. That silky voiced hoser has dropped some of the best one liners in Shoutcast history. Look no further than "fives of fans" or "Mrs. Slurpee".

Norton. Our U17 demographic and future brother-in-law of #Fatrick. He won the draft contest to come on for a Shoutcast, last year, and immediately fit right in. We didn't kidnap and brainwash him or anything. We swear! Luckily for us, he could figure out his way around a keyboard, as well. He has been a life saver for #Fatrick and I. Able to jump in at a moments notice and take some of the load off our plates. Unlike the rest of us, he will actually be continuing his education next year, but I'm sure he'll be sniffing around.

Even, for as much shit as we give him, Derek left his mark on the site. There are still several photoshops still floating around from him, and the source of endless pot shots for #Fatrick when there is a lull in the action.

This summer will be eventful, fans. The entry draft will be here in Chicago. The expansion draft will cause some drama. There will be organizational moves. We will have some interesting stories to cover. I look forward to the next chapter in the growing "graphic novel" called Puckin Hostile. There will probably be some adjustments for next season. I'd like to take on a couple more contributors, so I can focus on more of the organ-I-zation, as a whole. Provide more media content. Actually introduce myself to my kids, and spend time with my fiancé.

Anyhow, I want to make sure I thank all the friends of the site, and podcast guests. Without them, we're just a few #FatAndOutOfShape, basement dwelling, loudmouthed bloggers and a skinny silky Canadian. John Jaeckel from Hockey Buzz, Jay Zawaski from the Score 670, Greg Boysen for LetsGoHawk.net, James Neveau from NBC Chicago Sports, Keith/Colin/Mario/Jake/Aaron/Sean and the rest of the crew from Blackhawk Up, Mike "FigSigArts" Figueroa, John and Jacob from Talkin Hawks, William/Animal Mother from The Biscuit podcast, Billy "Fat tits, freckle face" Beck, and The Hockeenight guys (Forklift and CT). The list goes on and on.

Most importantly, Thank YOU, the fans. We love to hear ourselves talk, but we actually do this for you. From Beth Sweeney in Rockford to Mary Chastain in Oklahoma City. From Berns in South Africa to JMac in Australia to Heloiza in Brasil. Even the Chicago contingent of Wm_J_Lepetomane, ChiBDM, and all the crazies we correspond with on a daily basis, as well as all the various Facebook commenters and Instagram followers

Before we decompress, and probably take a few weeks to catch up, we want to know what you fans would like to see. Take a minute to let us know what you'd like to read about, or hear about on the Shoutcast. Maybe you have a guest in mind. Maybe you would like us to have more special segments. Maybe you would like to volunteer someone for "Win A Date With Fatrick".

Alright, no one would even wish that on their worst enemy...

Chicago Blackhawks vs. Nashville Predators
4-1 Loss & 4-0 Series Sweep Recap

"Cowboys From Hell"

By Patrick Norton

I’ve started and scrapped eight recaps from tonight’s game. I just can’t seem to put the disappointment into words. Obviously, we’re all a little pissed off and it’s deserved. The inevitable blame game has begun through friendly discussions, social media and group texts. When the Predators scored their fourth goal, my brother texted me wondering if I had set up the “juju” that comes out every playoff season ever since the Blackhawks trailed the Red Wings three games to one in 2013. Not even the shrine of pucks, rally towels, bobbleheads, and red paper over the light bulbs could save the demise of the Blackhawks this time around. 

And that’s when it struck me; I won’t have the chance to watch any playoff hockey with my brother this year. He’s off at school and wasn’t coming home for another two weeks, so typically the deep runs provide the best chances to watch playoff hockey together. Through the series's versus the Ducks and Lightning in ‘15, even the heart wrenching loss to the Kings in ‘14 (in which my brother and I were at Game Seven of the WCF), and to the incredible comeback against Detroit and the eventual 17 seconds Cup win against the Bruins in ‘13, my brother and I have experienced the best of the best in playoff hockey together. That’s what really kills me. It stung against the Blues, but at least the Hawks put up a fight. This time around, you could just tell that it wasn’t happening and from different regions of the US, we both watched as the Blackhawks were swept away.

And just like that, it’s over. The reunion with Brian Campbell and Johnny Oduya: over. The hope of completing the improbable with a roster full of rookies: over. Recaps for Puckin’ Hostile: over. A lot came to an end when the final whistle blew, but I think the hardest to cope with is what begins and what arises from this pathetic playoff performance. Until October, we’ll hear of the greatest collapse the hockey world has seen in recent memory and we’ll hear fans, analysts and writers questioning the personnel on and off the ice. Sure, there’s blame to go around, but does that mean clear house? Absolutely not, but a few changes might be in order. Luckily for our readers and listeners, Gate, Fatrick, Bryan, myself and Double J himself, John Jaeckel will attempt to sort through the muck and the sour taste left in our mouths by this series with a playoff recap and an offseason preview shoutcast next week. Until then, that’s enough hockey for a while. Don’t ask me who I’m rooting for now because at this point in time, I couldn’t care any less. (Probably New York or Washington, though) I need a hockey detox for a few days. And hey Blackhawks, next year, if we’re going to lose in the playoffs again, can it not be to a team that will never shut up about it again? Like the Flames or Oilers? Thanks.

Anyways, I really enjoyed bringing my thoughts to a page this season and I cannot thank our listeners and readers enough for the support they’ve thrown our way. How many seventeen year old bloggers can be welcomed by a community with open arms and not be frightened away? Probably not many, but somehow this all worked out. And while the recaps are finished until October, us meatballs aren’t going anywhere (except for me going to Kansas). We’ll all be here, God willing, next season to bring you the same subpar content we always have. And while I think it’s important to thank all of you, none of this happens without the hilarious content my three partners in crime have provided. 

Bryan, everybody's favorite Canadian, has always been able to provide me with a laugh, whether it be on the shoutcast or in our group messages. Patrick “Fatrick” Stankus and I clicked on day one. Not only do we both live with our parents, but we both have great senses of humor and a similar body shape.

At last, The Gatekeeper. We connected through Twitter and I happened to come up with the best idea for an offseason fun draft and was able to join a shoutcast. In all honesty, I just followed these guys on Twitter, but had never listened to a shoutcast. I was extremely confused because I couldn’t place a voice with a name. I actually thought Derek was Bryan and Bryan was Derek. I thought it was odd that Fatrick continually made fun of “Derek” because I couldn’t stop laughing at “Derek’s” jokes. It was only in post-recording when Gate told me I had it backwards. That should’ve been the end of my story with Puckin’ Hostile, but early in the season, someone couldn’t recap a game, so I Semborski’d and stepped up to the plate. I thought I swung and missed, but Gate and the rest of the crew credited me with a solid RBI bloop single. A couple of weeks later, I joined on as a full time recapper. Soon after that, I made my second appearance on a shoutcast and soon after that, Derek made his last. Gate helped me through every step of the way and that’s the honest truth.

I can’t thank these three men enough for what they’ve done this year. It’s been a pleasure being able to write for Puckin’ Hostile and I cannot wait to crack out the classic “Good, Bad, and Ugly” format next year. 

And while I hope next years results don’t make for another somber series recap, nothing is guaranteed. That is except for one thing… we’ll be right back here next season rested and ready to go. Now have a good night, hold your head up high because we’ve still won three cups in eight years and as always, don’t be a meathead.

Oh wait… I was supposed to recap the game? Blackhawks lost the Predators, 4-1 and lost the series, 4-0. We were slow, sloppy and out of touch. Can’t put all the blame on the rookies when Keith, Seabrook and Oduya played like they had a 9 am tee time tomorrow morning. And don't deny that just because Keith put a nice jolt into somebody in the third period. After that, they went flat again. Yet, Kempny was decent and deserves more playing time next season and TVR played like he wanted a Game Five. Our forwards continually dumped and chased, which is fine if it works, but it never opened up the middle of the ice because the Hawks couldn’t win any puck battle. Crawford was okay, but when we needed him to stick with it, even when all hope seemed lost, he looked lost in the crease. We scored two powerplay goals and one even strength goal this series. Pekka Rinne would’ve tied for most points had he played for the Blackhawks. Marian Hossa played a more youthful game than almost everybody, including silly mistakes like the overtime turnover in Game Three, but he still played his ass off. Ryan Hartman turned into Andrew Shaw for some reason. Predators fans suck. Artem Anisimov played through his ankle injury and it was quite apparent he wasn’t 100%. Literally the only players you can’t shovel any blame towards would be Scott Darling and Michal Rozsival because they never played. I don’t know, that was tough to watch. I’m interested to see what happens in the coming weeks.

How about that for a recap?

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Blackhawks at Predators
3-2 OT Loss Recap

"Aching Pain In My Chest"

by Patrick Stankus

Down two game to none, the Blackhawks traveled to Nashville on Monday night for Game 3 of their first round matchup with the Nashville Predators. The Hawks were looking to save their season after two lacklustre games in Chicago last week. Leading up to the game, many had questioned if Scott Darling would get the call in net for the Hawks, but Joel Quenneville quickly answered those questions by saying Crawford would indeed get the nod in net. With the Hawks facing just about a must win situation, it was time to take to the ice in Nashville.

In the first period, the Hawks actually got off to a decent start, registering six shots in the first half of the period. While the energy was there to start, it started to wane as the period wound down. The Predators eventually found their legs, and let a full on attack of the Hawks net. Luckily for the Hawks, Corey Crawford was on his game to keep the Predators off the board. In the final minutes, the Hawks generated a couple of looks, but couldn't get one past Pekka Rinne, and after twenty minutes the game was scoreless.

When the second period got underway, came out much like they did to start the game. The difference this time is they were able to solve Pekka Rinne and get on the board first thanks to a Dennis Rasmussen goal. Riding the momentum of Rasmussen's goal, the Hawks were able to add to their lead just past the midway part of the period. Patrick Kane tallied a power play goal to increase the lead to two. With time winding down in the period, the Predators kept coming and coming down the stretch. Corey Crawford was friggin' outstanding and preserved the Hawks lead heading into the second intermission.

To start the third period, the Hawks seemed to weather the storm for the first couple of minutes. That changed a little after four minutes in as Nashville finally got on the board on a weird bounce off the glass, to cut the Hawks lead in half. As the period went on, the Hawks started to fall in to the "play not to lose" mode, a mode that is notorious for biting you in the ass. That bit in the ass came with extra sting as Filip Forsberg added his second goal to tie the game at two. After seeing Corey Crawford get bumped as the shot approached, Joel Quenneville challenged for goaltender interference, but the call on the ice stood, and we continued with a tie game. Down the stretch, once again, Corey Crawford stood tall in net, and  held the Predators off and sent the game to overtime.

In the overtime, it was everything you'd expect out of an overtime playoff game. The extra frame featured end to end action and countless chances for both teams. The best stop of the overtime came from Corey Crawford's left pad on Kevin Fiala. In the final minutes of extra time, Marian Hossa turned the puck over at the blueline, and following a perfect dump in, Kevin Fiala deked his way past Corey Crawford to give the Predators a 3-2 win and a 3-0 series lead. Game 4 is set for Thursday night in Nashville.

The Good
  • For the first time in the series, the Hawks actually showed some life at the start of the game. While they hit a bit of a lull, overall the opening twenty minutes was pretty decent in my opinion.
  • If you had Dennis Rasmussen as the first Hawk to score in this series, please go collect your winnings. Moose broke the Hawks scoreless streak of 141 minutes, in the early moments of the second period, after a great pass from Marcus Kruger.
  • Midway through the second period, Patrick Kane increased the lead to two, and quieted the McCrowd in Nashville and around the fax machine.
  • Corey Crawford was outstanding in net for the Hawks. If you think he was the reason he lost, I'm sorry, but I have to politely say you don't understand hockey. Crawford made 46 saves in the loss. His save on Fiala in overtime with his left pad was fantastic.
  • This was by Patrick Kane's best game of the series. In addition to his goal, he was generating chances and was a force all night.
  • The line of Rasmussen-Kruger-Panik was a beast all night. They generated chances all night long. The only issue was Kruger getting hammered at the dot for a portion of the game.

The Bad
  • Jonathan Toews was in a battle all night long with P.K. Subban. At one point Subban gave Toews a slew-foot, and Toews returned the favor with a vicious slash.
  • Nick Schmaltz had a chance to make it a three goal game in the third period with a breakaway, but Pekka Rinne made a helluva stop to keep the Predators deficit at two.
  • Late in the third period, Filip Forsberg tied the game at two, on a goal in which Corey Crawford took a little contact outside the crease. Quenneville challenged the play for goalie interference, but the call of a good goal stood, and all hell broke loose on hockey Twitter in Chicago. It appears people forgot to mention the part of the rule where the contact occurred on a rebound. Its a goal people. Read the whole rule. 
  • Artemi Panarin looked completely uninterested tonight. I can't remember a single moment where he dazzled with the puck.
  • Duncan Keith and Niklas Hjalmarsson led the way on defense for the Hawks, by both being a -2 on the night.

The Ugly
  • Johnny Oduya nearly scored a goal from the Hawks defensive zone while on the penalty kill in the first period. Oduya caught Rinne leaving the net early, and the puck took a funny hop off the glass and trickled in front of the net before a diving Rinne poked it just wide. Its in the ugly because the Hawks couldn't even score on this play.
  • Speaking of that penalty kill mentioned above, I have no idea what the hell Marcus Kruger was thinking when he took that penalty. He basically tackled Zolnierczyk for no reason.
  • On the Predators first goal, the Hawks were guilty of standing around, thinking the puck had gone out of play, when in fact, it hit the very top of the glass.
  • Artem Anisimov was an embarrassing 12% at the faceoff dot. You heard me right. 12 fucking percent.
  • It seems as if people have turned their head to the turnover by Marian Hossa that set up the Predators game winning goal, because TVR was on the ice. That turnover by Hossa was one the worst one I've seen by a Hawk since Kris Versteeg was here. I'll do you one better. It was just as bad as the one by Martin Erat in 2010, in which Hossa capitalized on. That is where the game was lost. Those plays cannot happen in overtime.


Saturday, April 15, 2017

Blackhawks vs Predators
5-0 Shutout Loss Recap

"Death Becomes My Light"

by Gatekeeper

Leave it up to the Blackhawks to create some drama when it's not needed. After a game one shutout loss, the Nashville Predators gained just a bit more momentum in this opening series. Like I said Thursday night, though, I'm not worried one bit, and neither should any of you. The Blackhawks have often start playoff series slowly. They will recover. Quenneville did a little lineup shifting for this game, which was expected, but nothing significant. Unless you're a huge fan of John Hayden or Jordin Tootoo, that is.

The first period of game two started almost exactly like game one. The Blackhawks came out with some serious pressure, which resulted in nothing. The Predators turned the play around and scored on one of their first chances, with under five minutes burned. This, once again, gave the Preds some life. This also forced the Blackhawks to claw and scratch back to gain some momentum and pressure. For the period the Preds led in shots 12-7, which cannot continue.

In what seems to be a pattern, the Blackhawks came out in the second period, put on some pressure, and gave up a goal on one of Nashville's first chances of the period. The Blackhawks then blew another powerplay, and the Preds answered with another goal. This was possibly the most frustrating period possible. If you look at the numbers, the Hawks actually out shot the Preds 14-10, but no one watching felt that.

The Blackhawks were nothing, if not consistent, in this game. They had chances but, as has been the norm, the Preds turned a single chance into a goal.

This game was bullshit.

Screw the shots on net.

I'm not wasting more time than I need to on this. Allow me to be silly while I attempt to hide my immense frustration...

Full disclosure, here, I was looking for GIFs for this stupid recap and this one below came up. Absolutely, made me bust into laughter. Thank you, Internet!

The Good

The Bad
  • With only thirty seconds gone in the first Viktor Arvidsson got a partial breakaway, but missed the net. Seconds later, #DickFuckingPanik rocketed a snapper off the post.
  • The Blackhawks powerplay was, once again, fuh-king awful. You have to take advantage when you get these advantages and the Blackhawks just pissed away chance after chance.
  • With about six minutes left in the second period, even Quenneville's line blending shit sandwich did no good. Some fourth line plug named Colton Sissons parked his awful, slow ass in the crease and just hacked away at a loose rebound, while Johnny Oduya and Nik Hjalmarsson just let him. Goal, and queue up mass anxiety.
  • I'd go into more detail on the Johansen and Fiala goals, but I'm putting in the same effort the Blackhawks did.

The Ugly
  • Four minutes into the first period, Ryan Ellis had his long point shot blocked nicely by Panik, but the puck ended up right back on the stick of Ellis. Ellis let a shot go trough the screen of Arvidsson and past Crawford. The Screen definitely affected Crawford's position and view of the shot. Not the best goal given up, but not the worst.
  • Three minutes into the second period Harry Zolnierczyk jumped off the bench on a change, behind the Blackhawks defense and was hit for a breakaway. Zolnierczyk fended off Johnny Oduya and chipped the puck up and over Corey Crawford's glove for a 2-0 Preds lead.
  • Ryan Hartman not only channeled his inner Andrew Shaw, late in the game, by pissing his pants on a clean offensive chance, but he came back on the other end and took a horrible, possibly suspension earning, stick foul on Craig Smith.
  • For the second game in a row, we were left asking, "What the hell are you doing, Duncan Keith?". He was having some serious issues controlling the puck in the offensive zone.
  • Also, for the second game, PK Subban was almost invisible. For all the teeth gnashing over that trade last summer, Shea Weber has been the bigger acquisition. Not only was he invisible but he had a BRUTAL turnover right next to his own net. This is scary if he actually heats up.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Hartman - Toews - Panik
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Schmaltz - Kruger - Hossa
Rasmussen - Kero - Hinostroza

Keith - Hjalmarsson
Oduya - Seabrook
van Riemsdyk - Campbell


Thursday, April 13, 2017

Blackhawks vs Predators
1-0 Shutout Loss Recap

"Some Pain Will Last"

by Gatekeeper

The official chase for the Stanley Cup started Thursday night at the United Center as the paranoid Nashville Predators took the trek north to face the Western Conference Champs. Despite all the tangible statistics indicating that the Blackhawks have owned the Preds all year, a disturbing number of alleged big brain people claimed that the Blackhawks weren't going to make it past seven games in these playoffs. I'll let the series speak for itself before I really let loose, but I cannot imagine how this is even remotely possible. For christ sakes, the Los Angeles Kings, who just missed the playoffs and fired both their coach and GM, led the league in 5vs5 Corsi. You know who else beat both the Blackhawks and Preds? Carolina. Another non playoff team. Montreal was third in the league and lost 2-0 to the Rangers just the other night. Corsi can indicate some useful metrics, but just vomiting out Corsi numbers to predict playoff series outcomes is an asinine practice. The Blackhawks led the Predators in both goals per 60 minutes and goals against per 60 minutes.

Allow me to redirect, though.

The Blackhawks came into this series "completely" healthy, which is to say that all expected starters would be available. They were, no doubt, nursing injuries and the top of that list was center Artem Anisimov. Thursday night's game was his first game back after taking a scary spill a month ago and missing a bunch of games. There is no way he went from "barely skating" to "completely healed" in a matter of seven days. We'll see just how effective he is after being on the shelf for a couple of weeks.

The first period did NOT have a playoff feel to it whatsoever. The Blackhawks opened up a 5-2 shot lead, but a lazy defensive play gave the Preds an early lead. The rest of the period was basically all Predators after that. The shot total leaned pretty considerably in favor of Nashville when the horn sounded, 11-6. I can't say I was worried by either the score or the shot totals.

Even though the Blackhawks were awarded a powerplay just seconds into the second period, they couldn't tie the game. Their pressure didn't stop there, though. Before the Preds knew what hit them the Blackhawks were holding a 10-2 shot lead just halfway through the period. The Predators were in some serious trouble, for a good majority of the middle frame, and desperately hung on to their one goal lead. When the second horn rang out, the Blackhawks had a 12-4 period shot lead and an 18-15 lead on the night. Again, though, it did not have the aura of a playoff game.

Not much changed in the third period, as the Blackhawks spent a majority of their time in the Preds end of the ice, peppering Pekka Rinne with shots to the tune of 7-2 in the top half of the period. The Blackhawks even got a late powerplay that they failed to even get a shot on net during. When all was said and done, the Blackhawks were shutout 1-0, even though they out shot the Preds 29-20.

This is hardly concerning. There is no way that Rinne or the Preds can continue this pace. The Dam will break and it'll flood.

The Good
  • Corey Crawford wasn't spectacular, but he did give his team plenty of opportunity to win this game. When you lose 1-0, it's never the goalie's fault.
  • That said, broken ol shithip Pekka Rinne played great. The Preds had no business winning this game, yet here we are. Twenty nine saves and the whitewash.
  • Some of the Blackhawks big money players logged some insane ice time. Patrick Kane played 24:23, Artemi Panarin played 21:31, and Jonathan Toews played 20:38.
  • As much as it pains me, I have to give Trevor van Riemsdyk some credit. He firing the puck like Shea Weber and the shots were getting through to the net. I wish I could say as much for the other 5 defensemen, because they were pounding the hell out of opposing shin pads..
  • God damn, I said it last season, but Viktor Arvidsson is a hell of a nice player. Not only did he have the Preds goal, but he had a third period breakaway where he hit the crossbar.

The Bad
  • Just under eight minutes into the game, three Hawks defenders got caught at their own blue line chasing the puck while Viktor Arvidsson snuck in behind Duncan Keith and tipped a long Filip Forsberg shot past Corey Crawford. This was only the Preds' third shot of the game.
  • Joel Quenneville didn't wait long for the line blender to fire up. He flip-flopped Tanner Kero and Nick Schmaltz about five minutes into the seconds period. Talk about going from the outhouse to the penthouse, and vice versa.

The Ugly
  • Just a few minutes after the Preds took the league, Ryan Hartman did his best Andrew Shaw impression, taking a weak offensive zone penalty. The Hawks eventually killed the powerplay but as soon as Hartman got out of the box he egregiously turned the puck over deep in the Hawks zone, and nearly cost them another goal. Not a great first playoff period for the kid.
  • My biggest criticism of Duncan Keith is his inability to create clean shooting lanes, and it was blatantly evident in the beginning of this game. So evident that Trevor van Riemsdyk was able to make clear adjustment and made everyone watching wonder, once again, why Keith cannot figure this out.
  • While the powerplay got some pressure in the first period, the Blackhawks were 0-2, and that's the game, Folks.
  • With under a minute remaining in regulation and his goalie on the bench Duncan Keith decided it was better to gently hand the puck over to the Preds instead of try and shoot. This defies any logic, but then again, so did Calle Jarnkrok when he decided to they and force a bad pass instead of just hitting the open net.
  • It looks like Mark Lazarus fired up that stupid #PearlJamCounter again. I swear to imaginary zombie Christ that I will shame him into silence, or until he blocks me, if this continues for 2 more months.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • I'd love for the Corsi clowns to explain this one to me. The Blackhawks almost doubled up the Preds in 5-on-5 Corsi, 57-33, and 66-36 overall. Oh right, when your numbers don't fit, just shout "SCORE EFFECTS!". Bullshit.
  • The only player on the Blackhawks that had negative Corsi numbers were the makeshift 4th line of John Hayden, Nick Schmaltz, and Jordin Tootoo.
  • Duncan Keith, Nik Hjalmarsson, Artemi Panarin, Artem Anisimov and Patrick Kane were all in double digits as far as Corsi goes.

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Schmaltz - Toews - Panik
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Hartman - Kruger - Hossa
Hayden - Kero - Tootoo

Keith - Hjalmarsson
Oduya - Seabrook
van Riemsdyk - Campbell


Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast
Episode 81

In this 81st Puckin Hostile Shoutcast (the demigod Marian Hossa episode) Gatekeeper, Fatrick, Bryan, and Norton wrap up the Blackhawks regular season, and preview the playoffs.

The topics discussed include:
-The crew is looking to take on some new blood
-Staff brackets and the Puckin Hostile bracket challenge league
-More replay tools on the benches these playoffs
-Coach/GM moves in Dallas, Vancouver, Los Angeles and New York
-Russians already flaking out over the Olympics subject
-Artem Anisimov is back
-Hawks played two final games vs the Ducks and Kings
-Several reader questions
-And of course, as always, an abundance of extremely inappropriate references and jokes in incredibly bad taste

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link: iTunes

Get the Shoutcast directly though Soundcloud here:

For all your custom jersey needs visit Black and Tan Sports at:

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Blackhawks at Kings
3-2 OT Loss Recap

"California, I'm Fine"

by Patrick Stankus

On late Saturday afternoon, the Blackhawks traveled to Los Angeles to close out the regular season with a date with the Kings. With the Kings being eliminated from playoff contention, and the Blackhawks having locked everything up, this game was nothing more than a schedule filler for an 82 game season. Since there is a layoff before the playoffs begin, it was expected that Joel Quenneville would dress most of his star players, unlike the other night in Anaheim against those ballbags. Alright, enough rambling, onto the game, because we got the playoffs to look forward to.

To start the game, both teams looked a little sluggish. I'll attribute that to the fact it was an afternoon game. The Hawks took the advantage on the scoreboard just over six minutes in, thanks to a Jonathan Toews goal. Throughout the period, both teams had some chances, but neither team added another tally. In the end, there were twenty two shots, eleven by both, in the period. The lone power play of the period came in the final minutes thanks to a Kings penalty. With twenty minutes in the books, the Hawks headed to intermission with a one goal lead.

If you were tired of regular season hockey, that didn't mean a thing, then the second period wasn't for you. Throughout the middle frame, both teams could only muster six shots each. The lack of shots, combined with two power plays for the Hawks, and one for the Kings turned the game into an absolute snoozefest. Frankly there's nothing else to say about it. After forty minutes the Hawks held on to their one goal lead.

Thank God the third period was nothing like the second period. The Kings finally got on the board, while on the power play to tie the game at one. Ten minutes later, The Breadman, fighting dollar signs in his eyes, added his 31st goal of the year to give the Hawks the lead again. The Hawks held that lead until the final minute. On a rush up the ice a broken play allowed a deflected puck to find the stick of Dustin Brown, and he put it in a wide open net to tie the game at two. Of course the Hawks had to cough up a lead late and allow the game to head to overtime, just because I drew the short straw of recapping this hot vomit in a garbage bag.

Luckily for my miserable ass, the Kings made quick work of the overtime, and Drew Doughty ended the game 30 seconds in. Next up for the Hawks is a 1st round match up with the Nashville Predators in the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Before I end the recap I have to say, we need to give a couple of stick tap salutes out. First up is to former Blackhawk Bryan Bickell who will retire at the end of the season following his MS diagnosis earlier this season. We were all critical of Bickell during his time here, but his heart and desire to attempt a comeback following his diagnosis, and succeed, cannot be questioned. Stick taps to you Bickell on a good career, and being a champion.

The next stick tap salute I want to give out is to Los Angeles Kings announcer Bob Miller who called his final home game today after forty-four seasons. Bob is one of the good announcers of the game, and his voice will be missed.

The last stick tap salute is to you, The Hostile Tribe. I speak for Gate, Norton, and Bryan when I say, thank you to all of you for reading, listening, and interacting with us knuckleheads on a daily basis. As another regular season comes to a close, we can't thank you enough for all the support. We appreciate it like you wouldn't believe. Here's to another Stanley Cup Playoff run, that will hopefully feature a lot more good memories to come. #ThankYouHostileTribe

The Good
  • Jonathan Toews opened the scoring for the Hawks in the first period. It was Toews' 21st goal of the season, and one that hopefully gets him going for the playoffs.
  • Artemi Panarin scored his 31st goal of the season, and one that could potentially land him a nice bonus. If don't think Panarin was aware of it, just look at his reaction to the goal in a meaningless game. See money is a universal word no matter what language you speak or don't understand.
  • Corey Crawford was alright in net. Basically all he was looking to do was get some reps in, and not shred his groin before the playoffs begin. He looked like all the bells and whistles were fine and he'll be ready for the playoffs. I'm glad he recovered from that "McConcussion" he suffered in Montreal. I just wish he recover as fast as Javy Baez does from McConcussions.
  • If you don't think this game was meaningless, just look at the ice time for all the players. It was just about spread out as evenly as possible. For Christ's sake, even Tootoo almost had ten minutes of ice time.
  • Hate at me all you want, but those gray Kings' jerseys are a friggin' thing of beauty. Total outside the box design. In this day where it seems every team wears a combo of black, red, and blue, this gray look is much appreciated. That's also why the Predators yellow, and Ducks orange look gets a slight pass from me too. But they're not as bad ass as this Kings one.

The Bad
  • Marian Hossa gave us all a scare and left the game briefly in the first period after taking a slash. Luckily, and thankfully, Hossa returned for the second period, and the rest of the game.
  • The penalty kill was running around like a bunch of chickens with their goddamn heads cut off on the Kings second power play. Not surprisingly, it resulted in a Kings goal.
  • Dustin Brown scored in the final minute of the game to tie it at two. If the Hawks were showing some sort of effort, I bet this type of play doesn't happen. 
  • Selfishly I hope this wasn't the last time I get to watch Jarome Iginla play. I respect the hell out of that guy, and will miss him if this is the end. I hate the way the last few years have gone for him.
  • The Hawks beaten worse at the dot today, than Rozsival's face on Thursday night. In the end it was 56%-44% in the Kings favor.

The Ugly
  • I don't like afternoon hockey, but a 3pm local start in Los Angeles meant a 5pm start for us in Chicago. Alright, 5pm is just an odd time for a game. I have nothing else. I'm stretching for material now.
  • THANK GOD, we no longer have to endure 3 on 3 and the shootout until October. Of course this game had to be an asshole and go to overtime, just to piss me off one more time.
  • Ending the regular season on a four game losing streak isn't ideal, but whatever.
  • My money is on the Kings dismissing head coach Darryl Sutter this off-season. I'll miss this if that indeed happens.

Friday, April 7, 2017

Blackhawks at Ducks
4-0 Loss Recap

"While You Were Sleeping"

by Patrick Stankus

With the NHL regular season in the final forty-eight hours, the Blackhawks drew the short straw for NHL teams and had the awful task of closing out the season in Southern California. The first of the two games in California was tonight in Anaheim to take on the Ducks. In a meaningless game again for the Hawks, Joel Quenneville decided to give the night off to a few, or most of the key players. Which means were treated to an AHL lineup against a Ducks team that still had a division championship to try and clinch. While the majority of the Chicago era decided to call it a night early (I do not blame you), the Hawks still had a game to play. Well sort of.

The game didn't exactly start out ideal for the Ducks. Five seconds into the game they found themselves shorthanded after a delay of game penalty. Not surprising, the Hawks were still trying to find their legs, so the power play was nothing but a wasted opportunity. Later in the period, the Ducks made the most of their second power play of the period, with noted ballbag Corey Perry giving the Ducks a one goal lead. Thanks to a slash by Corey Perry on Ryan Hartman, the Hawks had one more chance on the power play, but nothing came of it, and they trailed by one after one.

In the second period, the Hawks lackluster effort was on full display early on. Less than two minutes in, the Hawks put themselves shorthanded by taking the ever so lazy, "too many men" penalty. Unlike the first period, the Hawks actually killed this penalty off and kept the deficit at one. Somehow the Hawks managed to pepper eighteen shots at the Ducks net, but could never sustain pressure in the zone. With just under three minutes remaining, the Ducks added another goal to give them a two goal lead after forty minutes.

With the Hawks trailing by two, they took to the ice to start the third looking like a team that was more interested in hanging out on the beach tomorrow, rather than play another twenty minutes of hockey. Actually who can blame them? Ryan Kesler scored early on to make it a three goal game, and from then on, it was merely counting the seconds left in the game. A few minutes later, things got a little chippy as Michal Rozsival took a punch to the face, and left the game. As the Hawks looked to end this scrimmage, the Ducks added another goal to make it a 4-0 lead. The Hawks had a couple of decent looks to try and end the shutout, but couldn't net one. When the horn finally sounded, the Ducks went on to win by that same four goal margin.

The Good
  • You're kidding right?

The Bad
  • The Ducks gift wrapped a power play five seconds into the game for the Hawks, and surprise, surprise, nothing came of it.
  • Corey Crawford was hung out to dry most of the night. This isn't a knock on him, the defense was putrid. That was expected with this lineup.
  • The Shitshow Petroleum Power Play was 0 for 3 tonight.
  • Joel Quenneville decided to be an asshole and challenge for offside on the Ducks opening goal. Frankly it wasn't even close. I'm thinking he did it just to dick around with us bloggers who had to recap a game with a 9pm local start, and make the game longer.

The Ugly
  • Every defenseman on the Hawks was a minus tonight. It was also fitting that Brian Campbell wore an "A" on his sweater tonight. I'm guessing the "A" was to sum up his season as for what its been, average, and not for leadership.
  • Corey Perry's slash on Ryan Hartman caused us to all hold our breath. Luckily Hartman returned to the game.
  • Hjalmarsson, Hossa, Keith, Seabrook, and Toews all sat out tonight's game. Can you see the joy in recapping this game?
  • Andrew Desjardins is now day-to-day with a lower body injury. Moving on......
  • In the third period, Michal Rozsival took a suckerpunch to the chops that dropped him to the ground faster than Uncle Rozsival after his diabetes diagnosis. Rozsival didn't return.
  • My reaction when I see that human disease bag Corey Perry score.....

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast
Episode 80

In this off week 80th Puckin Hostile Shoutcast (the Antoine Vermette episode) Gatekeeper, Fatrick (for a short time), Bryan, Norton and the guys from the Talkin Hawks Podcast talk about the Blackhawks lacklustre fight to the bitter end of the season.

The topics discussed include:
-The ghastly goons pay a surprise visit to Gate's playoff game, Sunday.
-The impastanator is created
-More pizza talk
-Breaking News: Norton will eat everything
-Dog emergency in Gate's house
-Blackhawks recall Vinnie Hinostroza, and Gustav Forsling
-Blackhawks clinch the Western Conference
-Hawks played some games vs the Penguins, Blue Jackets, Bruins, and Avalanche
-And of course, as always, an abundance of extremely inappropriate references and jokes in incredibly bad taste

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link: iTunes

Get the Shoutcast directly though Soundcloud here:

For all your custom jersey needs visit Black and Tan Sports at:

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Blackhawks at Avalanche
4-3 OT Loss Recap

"So Fall And Crawl Away"

by Patrick Stankus

With the final week of the regular season upon us, the Blackhawks started one final road trip out West on Tuesday night in Denver. The Hawks have already locked up home ice throughout the Western Conference Playoffs, so if you're looking for the definition of a meaningless regular season road trip, you found it this week. Joel Quenneville decided to give a few guys the night off, most notably Niklas Hjalmarsson, Duncan Keith, and Corey Crawford. That being said, we were treated to a pairing of Kempny and Rozsival tonight, and probably at least one other time this upcoming week. But whatever, these games mean nothing, so onto the practice that took place in Colorado tonight.

The first period looked exactly how you'd think it would look with one team looking ahead to the beginning of the Stanley Cup Playoffs next week. The Hawks were completely uninterested in playing in the opening frame. The Avs out shot the Hawks by a 16-3 margin, but Scott Darling was able to keep Colorado off the scoreboard. Both teams had a power play opportunity, but nothing came of either opportunity. All in all, the first period was a potential cure for anyone suffering from insomnia that wanted to try and go to bed at 8pm.

As boring as the first period was (and it was boring, trust me), the second period did not disappoint. Artemi Panarin opened the scoring, on the power play, twenty-eight seconds in after a nifty pass from Patrick Kane. The Hawks followed up Panarin's goal with two more goals in the second by Hartman, and Kruger. Yes, that Marcus Kruger who "never scores." With the game looking like it was all theirs, the Hawks fell guilty to taking their foot off the gas, and surprise, surprise, the Avs pounced on the opportunity presented to them. The Avs added two shorthanded goals, just over four minutes apart to cut the Hawks lead to one. As time wound down in the period, Scott Darling was able to preserve the Hawks lead at 3-2 after forty minutes of play.

To begin the third period, the Avs were looking to carry over the momentum they had built in the second half of the second period. Early on, it was mission accomplished by the Avs. Scott Darling was under attack from the moment the puck was dropped to start the third. The writing was on the wall. It was only a matter of time before the Avs tied the game. Finally, almost six minutes in, the Avs did just that. Throughout the period, the Hawks only had a couple of chances, but none were of the quality chance kind. The Avs however, kept their assault one the Hawks net going during the entire period. The only reason the Hawks had any chance of winning was due to the man in net. Darling was able to fend off the Avs in regulation, and get the game to overtime. The game winning goal didn't take long in overtime. Colorado had the only good chance, thanks to a Brian Campbell turnover, and they made the most of it. Erik Johnson scored just under two minutes in to give Colorado the 4-3 overtime win. Next up for the Hawks is a trip to Southern California, and a date with the Ducks in Anaheim on Thursday night.

The Good
  • Artemi Panarin scored his 30th goal of the season in the second period, to give him back to back thirty goal seasons. The pass to setup Panarin from The Garbageman was a thing of beauty. I just hope the fax machine survived the attack from the McBaseball bat after that goal.
  • Marcus Kruger scored his fifth goal of the season on a breakaway in the second period, following a terrific stretch pass from Michal Rozsival. I'm shocked Rozsival was able to make a pass like that considering how greasy his hands must be after eating all that shrimp of late in the press box.
  • Despite the fact he gave up four goals, Scott Darling was good in net for the Hawks. He made forty-seven saves in the loss, and was under attack all night. As I said before the game, #PrayForDarling.
  • I got nothing else. I have to rest my fingers, and preserve my energy for the playoffs. Especially since I'm recapping the last two games of the season. That's right, we're closing out the season with a hat trick of #FatCaps!!!!
The Bad
  • Welcome to the last week of the regular season, where we get treated to line combos of Jurco-Desjardins-Hinostroza, and pairings of Rozsival and Kempny because the Blackhawks have their position in the standings locked up.
  • The Blackhawks basically slept through the entire first period, and were outshot 16-3. 
  • The Blackhawks struggled at the dot tonight. They were destroyed 65%t to 35%.
  • I pray to God, I never see Brian Campbell and Michal Kempny out on the ice at the same time. I'm sorry, but both of them are a heart attack waiting to happen in the defensive zone.
  • The sloppy, careless play of the Hawks was on full display tonight. The Hawks took four penalties, three in a row actually, to end the game. 

The Ugly
  • During the pregame show, Steve Konroyd mentioned the Scott Darling was "born and raised in the Joliet area." Excuse me Steve, but......
  • I was expecting to see the goal Calvin Pickard gave up to Ryan Hartman, given up by Gate on Sunday night in his beer league. 
  • With a three goal lead in the second period, the Hawks took their foot off the gas, and the Avs rattled off two short handed goals in the final ten minutes.
  • People are going to criticize Rozsival for Colorado's third goal, all while ignoring the fact Michal Kempny was completely oblivious to Mikhail Grigorenko coming down the slot, leaving him wide open. I guess those kinds of plays don't happen in the KHL.
  • Fifty-one shots for the Avalanche tonight. Let me repeat that. Colorado had FIFTY-ONE SHOTS.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Blackhawks vs Bruins
3-2 Loss Recap

"You Don't Know"

by Gatekeeper

The Boston Bruins were in town Sunday for the Blackhawks 2016-17 home finale, on NBC no less. These matinee games are both a blessing and curse. We get the game out of the way, and still have the day ahead of us, but people like #Fatrick actually have to roll out of bed before the crack of 2PM, which is a tall task for the Drunkasaurus. To add to the drama, Patrick Kane took a puck off the stick of Marian Hossa right in the yap, and had to go off for stitches. This caused a needless beat writer uproar, for about twenty minutes. As far as the game went, the Bruins backup goaltender, Anton Khudobin, was in net with Tuukka Rask taking the Sunday off.

Drawn by cartoonist Mike Spicer (@SpicerToon)

After all the Patrick Kane pregame fireworks, the Bruins came out and took an early lead before most of us wiped the sleep out of our eyes. They followed up by scoring a powerplay goal with under two minutes remaining. The rest of the period was incredibly boring, to be honest. Neither of the goals were anything special and the broadcast team had to resort to a plethora of inane fluff in an attempt to keep the TV audience interested. So, the opening period was forgettable to say the least, even thought the Blackhawks out shot the Bruins 16-11.

The second period was much like the first period, with few flashes of excitement. Joel Quenneville switched up the defense pairings to the "ol faithful" of Keith/Seabrook and Oduya/Hjalmarsson, which solidified things on the Hawks end of the ice some, but did little for the offense. Eventually, the Blackhawks were able to cut the Bruins lead on half really late, but that was basically all the offense we saw in the entire twenty minutes. The shots on net favored Boston slightly 12-11.

The Blackhawks left themselves a tall order in the third period, entering third period play down by a goal. The Bruins did the Hawks no help by adding a goal half way through the period, even though the Blackhawks chopped that lead back down to one, just 25 seconds after. Unfortunately for the home team, this is all the scoring we would see in this game, and a late Blackhawks flurry would fail, even though the Hawks out shot the Bruins 16-6 in the final frame. Not like the Blackhawks had much to play for anyway.

The Good
  • With just under two minutes remaining in the second period the Blackhawks cut the Bruins lead to one goal on a pretty odd goal. #DickFuckingPanik got tied up with Brandon Carlo and ended up going into the net behind Khudobin pretty hard. The puck eventually worked it's way to the stick of Artemi Panarin with a wide open net in front of him. Panarin actually beat Khudobin but hit Panik, who was over the goal line. This should have counted as the initial goal, but Panarin dunked the rebound just for good measure. He definitely owes Panik a public #McPology
  • Twenty five seconds after Kevan Miller increased the Bruins lead, the Blackhawks closed it back down, from and unlikely source. Jordin Tootoo. Cam Neely Jr, aka John Hayden, controlled the puck and fed Tootoo nicely from the corner. Tootoo was wide open and able to slam it home through Khudobin's 5-hole. That Tootoo has better 5-hole action than @PDNorton3. Of course, John Hayden has been invisible for 3 games and when he finally does something everyone is jumping in his jock to give him a handy. I like the kid too but, Jesus. Did everyone miss, on that same play, that Jordin Tootoo miraculously scored, too? Is he a legit sniper now too? Or is that praise only for rookies?
    This line played all less than 9:30, with Tootoo playing a team least 6:18. There is a reason for this.
  • Anton Khudobin had a great game. Saving 41 of 43 against the best team in the west, is very noteworthy.
  • It wasn't pretty but #DickFuckingPanik keeps adding to his scoring totals. At some point, the naysayers have to acknowledge his 22-21-43 as somewhat legit.

    Or keep the snarky comments coming, and look even more foolish.

The Bad
  • The Bruins drew first blood at the six and a half minute mark of the first period. The ancient Zdeno Chara just unleashed a pretty harmless shot on Corey Crawford, from the blue line, and Ryan Spooner redirected it over Crawford's glove. Not really a highlight reel goal, but it was really early for all of us, apparently.
  • As the Bruins opened the period, they closed the period. Just as Zdeno Chara stepped out of the penalty box, after serving his egregious penalty against Tanner Kero, Brad "The Rat" Marchand fed Patrice Bergeron, while changing the angle on net, for a clean one timer goal. Another goal that Crawford had a solid shot on.
  • Halfway through the third period, Boston plug Ke-VAN Miller waltzed through the Blackhawks defense and ripped a shot over Corey Crawford's glove to give the Bruins back a two goal lead. Who spells their name "K-E-V-A-N" anyway? Illiterate parents, that's who.
  • Late in the third period, Brad Marchand was one-on-one with noted muscle man Artemi Panarin, and Panarin ended up putting Marchand down on his ass.

The Ugly
  • I like Greg Wyshynski, I really honestly do, but I had enough of the whining because the Blackhawks happen to be good; often. In this day and age Blackhawks fans are actually supposed to #McPologize for being a successful franchise, I guess. Like Andrew Cieslak once said, If you are upset the Blackhawks are always good and always on TV, how about your your stupid franchise beats them and wins something. Otherwise, just shut the fuck up. Bunch of whiny, immature, jealous babies. They won't be good forever, and maybe not much longer, let us enjoy it while it's in progress.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • Hjalmarsson, Keith, Hossa, Hartman and Kruger were the only Blackhawks with negative Corsi while Zdeno Chara, alone, was a -21.
  • That fatass quitter #SteadilyDecliningJonathanToews led the Blackahwks with a plus 17 Corsi, tied with Johnny Oduya.

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Schmaltz - Toews - Panik
Panarin - Kero - Kane
Hartman - Kruger - Hossa
Hayden - Rasmussen - Tootoo

Keith - Hjalmarsson
Oduya - Seabrook
Campbell - van Riemsdyk


Saturday, April 1, 2017

Blackhawks vs. Blue Jackets
3-1 Win Recap

"I Am The Walrus"

Patrick Norton

After dismantling the defending Stanley Cup Champion Pittsburgh Penguins on Wednesday night, the Blackhawks returned to face off with former Central division member, the Columbus Blue Jackets. Both teams had surpassed the century mark in the points column, so similarly to Wednesday night’s tilt, it wouldn’t be an easy one on paper. The Blue Jackets have a surging goaltender in Sergei Bobrovsky, but credit must be given where credit is due: Coach John Tortorella. Torts was the finishing touch on the Jackets’ organization and they’ve taken off since his hiring. Meanwhile, the guy on the other bench has been pretty successful himself. Quenneville, lineblender and all, has the Blackhawks on the cusp of a franchise record in regular season wins. Sitting at forty-nine, the record is fifty-two set by the 2009-2010 squad, but only five games remain on the schedule.

Anyway, there was a game to be played. The first period started with a bang. An early penalty on Brandon Dubinsky for cross-checking Niklas Hjalmarsson gave the Blackhawks a powerplay twenty-eight seconds in. Four seconds into the PP, Artemi Panarin rifled home his twenty-seventh goal of the season with assists credited to Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews. The goal extended Panarin’s goal streak to three games. After minutes of back and forth end-to-end skating and physical play, Columbus finally broke through with Nick Foligno’s twenty-fifth of the season after the Blackhawks couldn’t exit the defensive zone. Then, just twenty seconds later, a hot pass from Kane to Hossa and the Demi God displaying great patience, the Blackhawks regained a one-goal advantage. The period ended with a minor scrum, but somehow the Blue Jackets walked away with the only penalty, this one to be served to begin the second period.

Okay, let me tell the truth. I fell asleep during intermission and missed from the 20:00 - 54:30 minute mark. Our official unofficial photoshopper, the honorable Governor William J. LePetomane let me know how the missed thirty-five minutes went. “He skated this way, then that guy skated that way…” Dynamite drop-in, Monte. That broadcast school has really paid off.

Let’s pick it back up with five to go in the third. With the Blackhawks grasping to their one-goal lead, the Blue Jackets were in desperation mode. Luckily for the Blackhawks, Columbus just couldn’t strike one past Crawford. The game clincher came when Kane added his third assist of the night for a Panarin empty-netter. Blackhawks win another against the superior Metropolitan division, 3-1.

The Good

  • That’s FIFTY wins this season. It’s just the second time the Blackhawks have reached this feat in franchise history. With four games remaining, if the Hawks can pull off three more victories, it’ll be a franchise record. Also, one more point gained by the Hawks or lost by Minnesota clinches home ice throughout the Western Conference playoffs for the Blackhawks.
  • Patrick Kane is on an absolute tear! Three assists tonight gives him fifty-three assists and eighty-seven points on the year. He’s second in the league and four points behind Connor McDavid for the #1 spot.
  • Artemi Panarin is reaching for another scoring bonus. With two goals tonight, he has twenty-eight goals and seventy-one points on his sophomore season. That’s good enough for eleventh place, but if he can land himself in the top ten, he’ll pick up another bonus, similar to the one he made last season.
  • #SlowlyDecliningJonathanToews added another assist and has put together a solid second half of the season after struggling in the points column until the All-Star Break.
  • Corey Crawford picked up another victory while stopping thirty-two out of thirty-three shots faced. Nice to hopefully have Crawford back in a solid rhythm just in time for another playoff run.
  • It was a spectacular night for the penalty kill. They kept momentum away from Columbus as the Jackets went 0/4 on the man-advantage.
  • Meanwhile, the man-advantage for the Blackhawks brought their first goal in eleven powerplays. Panarin struck gold in the slot thirty seconds into game to give the Blackhawks the early edge.
  • I took a great nap throughout the majority of tonight’s game. It was glorious.

The Bad

  • I’m still waiting to see how many goals Gate gave up in his game tonight. I’d imagine it was a lot, but I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. UPDATE: Five goals. Yikes!
  • The turnover that led to Nick Foligno’s first period tally was unfortunate. Hjalmarsson’s skate blade dug into the ice and tripped him up.
  • This game was pretty boring. So boring, I slept for half of it. What did this game need? #MOARGOALZ

The Ugly

  • Columbus NEEDS to use the canon as their primary logo next season when teams are limited to two jerseys. The star thing they’re rocking now is far inferior to the coolest thing about that franchise.
  • Classic Twitter falling head over heels for Brandon Saad on United Center ice. Sure, I miss him, too, but I’m satisfied with paying Artemi Panarin and having Richard Panik compliment Toews on the top line.
  • This recap. Not the best, but it’s all I could do after watching twenty-five out of sixty minutes of gameplay. Nobody’s reading anyway. Big thanks to The Governor () for his solid analysis of the other thirty-five minutes. He's not the best colorman in the league for nothing, folks!
The Greatest

  • John Hayden played 9:08 tonight. He played less than all except one: Jordin Tootoo. #TemperExpectations #FutureHealthyScratch
Song Trivia: The song "I Am The Walrus" by the Beatles includes the line "I am the Eggman, I am the walrus." Until very recently, Eddie Olczyk believed the lyric was "breadman", not "eggman." If you ever hear him say "cuckoo cuchoo" after a Panarin goal, it's in reference to the Beatles song. So, while it's not a heavy metal tune, with Panarin netting two goals tonight, the title of tonight's recap fit too well. THE MORE YOU KNOW.

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