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Friday, October 28, 2016

Blackhawks at New Jersey
3-2 OT Win Recap

"Forever Lost In Vain"

by Gatekeeper

The Blackhawks returned to action Friday night against Taylor Hall's shiny new Kingdom, the New Jersey Devils. Once again, they were competing with the Cubbies for attention, and let's be honest, they could have won 10 straight cups and still not been able to out draw the Cubs. This made it a lonely night in Blackhawks Land. That is all fine and well. It's been slightly less meatballish in our special little corner of the Chicago sports world, with the knuckleheads doing stupid things like showing up to line up for a evening game, at 5AM. When the Cubs season ends, it'll be back to full on irrational meatball idiocy. This isn't a Cubs site, though, thank god. More about OUR beloved. The Blackhawks. We all had far too many days to think about their abhorrent penalty kill. It was time to get out there and get Cooter to fix that busted ass hooptie. Hey at least the Blackhawks scored, which is more than you could say for the Cubs.

Well, not so fast on fixing that penalty kill. The Blackhawks gave up the lead about ten minutes through the first period on (you guessed it) the powerplay. It's getting comical at this point, because they just look awful. They started off with 2 powerplays of their own, but could barely manage a shot. The Blackhawks were out shot 12-7, which will happen when you can't even get sustained pressure with the man advantage.

The second period turned out a little better for the Blackhawks, even though they were out shot once again pretty badly, 16-5. That is just unacceptable, when you're coming off 3 days rest. Of course, the Blackhawks managed to tie the game roughly midway through, but it was generally a soft goal given up by a backup goalie.

The Blackhawks folded in the third period, and almost lost the game in regulation, as a result. They were not without their opportunities and it took a late double minor with the goalie pulled for the extra attacker to tie the score. Oddly enough, the Blackhawks actually dominated the third period in shots, which eventually worked itself out. Coming from behind on the road can't be a bad sign. This got the Blackhawks to overtime, and their offense just overmatched the Devils and they took home the extra point. The fact that the Hawks fought back to bring the shot differential to just 3.

The Good
  • The Blackhawks powerplay finally came through and tied the game, about seven minutes into the second period. Artemi Panarin was left all alone to size up a leaning Keith Kincaid with the big ass of Artem Anisimov in his grill, and Panarin picked this up. He snapped a long lazer past Kincaid's glove, for the first sign of Blackhawks light through the clouds.
  • Ryan Hartman actually had a pretty damn good game. He was physical and engaged in the Devils end of the ice.
  • With the goalie pulled and the Hawks down 2-1, Marian Hossa found a garbage puck in the Devils crease and chipped it past Keith Kincaid to tie the game for his 501st goal.
  • Artemi Panarin and Artem Anisimov hooked up with 3:45 left in OT to win the game for the Blackhawks. We'll take it.
  • Corey Crawford played another excellent game. He got a little help, but held the Blackhawks close enough to get the win.

The Bad
  • Nick Schmaltz on the point for the second powerplay unit with Brian Campbell. The terror in my mind, if I'm Corey Crawford. WOOF! Even Pat Foley was dumbfounded.
  • Halfway through the first period, it looked as though Artemi Panarin looked to have gotten a lead for the Blackhawks off a little touch pass from Marian Hossa. The puck actually hit the post and then the crossbar, and came to rest between Kincaid's pads.
  • Four minutes into the third period, a huge coverage mixup turned into a John Moore goal, and a 2-1 Devils lead. Brian Campbell got crossed up and Artem Anisimov was napping away for this shift. Crawford had no chance whatsoever.
  • Don't you just love when your 5 minute a game meathead gets a stupid cross checking penalty in the offensive zone and your team is struggling to kill penalties?
  • I can officially admit that I'm disappointed in Michal Kempny's contribution to this team, thus far. He should have been playing more than 14 minutes and should be playing a bigger role than 5th defenseman.

The Ugly
  • The powerplay looked just as bad as the penalty kill to begin the game. They couldn't even manage a god damn shot on net.
  • Speaking of the penalty kill, the Hawks game up yet another powerplay goal to give the Devils a 1-0 lead. Yohann Auvitu took a long shot that Crawford saved but the Hawks couldn't control the rebound, and former Blackhawk P.A. Parenteau whacked the puck into the net. How a team not named Arizona can be this fucking terrible on the penalty kill is beyond comprehension.
  • Taylor Hall had a chance to give the Devils a lead with a minute gone in the third period, and put the puck off the outside of the net.
  • Patrick Kane took a really fucking stupid and blatant slashing penalty in the third period. Just selfish and brainless with your team struggling to kill penalties.
  • Pat was right about the WGN intermission show. It's brutal. I'm not sure how they hired someone more vanilla than Rich King, but it happened. Lauren Magiera and Steve Konroyd are about as interesting as lukewarm vanilla rice. If she said, "Goose Island, We don't want to be the only beer you drink, just the best beer you drink" I was going to put my foot through the TV.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • The 4th line, expectedly, got torn up possession wise, but they also started just about every shift in their own end.
  • John Moore was a -21 and Ben Lovejoy was a -15 Corsi. Brutal.

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Panik - Toews - Kane
Panarin - Anisimov - Hossa
Motte - Kruger - Hartman
Rasmussen - Schmaltz - Tootoo

Keith - Campbell
Hjalmarsson - Seabrook
Kempny - Rozsival


Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Help Gate Win and Help Design His Gear

Good morning Puckin Hostile fans, I mentioned this on the Shoutcast last night, but I thought I would elaborate more, here. Brian's Custom Goalie gear is holding a campaign to win a brand new set of goalie gear. I figured that since my old Brian's gear is well over a decade old, I could go out with a bang and have my last set of gear be the mother of all sets, but with a twist. If we can pull this off, I will allow the Hostile tribe to help me design the gear.

This, of course, is within reason, of course.

Making the gear some ridiculous colors or design defeats the entire purpose. The color scheme will be of my choosing (Some form of Blackhawks colors) but, if they let us, I want to make it some of the sickest gear they've ever made. Something along this line:

This is where you fans step in. We need to flood social media for the next week or so with #VoteGatekeeper (Also include #GN3TIK4ME or #TeamBStar). The hashtag will work on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Flood the Brian's twitter account (@GoaliesOnly). Elmhurst native Garret Sparks (in the Toronto system) is involved with monitoring as well, so flood him too. I say flood #LemontNativeScottDarling, too, since he is a Brian's spokesperson. Screw it! They asked for it, they'll get it.

According to their website, Brian's and Sparks will pick a top 3 and then open up voting this weekend. Here is the timeline:

Contest runs Monday, October 24 - to November

1st - Launch Day of the G-NETik Pro 3.

Round 1 – Submissions – Oct 24th –Oct. 30th

Final 3 Selected - Oct 30th

Final Vote – Oct 31

Lets do this! Show them that Blackhawks and Hostile fans cant be the biggest pain in ass they ever dealt with.

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast
Episode 68

In this 68th Puckin Hostile Shoutcast (the Jaromir Jagr, not the traveling Jagrs, episode) Gatekeeper, Pat, Derek, and Bryan go hostful because no one wants to record a stupid podcast about hockey when they could be watching baseball (gag).

Well, one of these clowns feel that way. We'll let you all deduce which one.

The panel discuss the following:
-The #VoteGatekeeper Brian's goalie pad G-Netik Pro 3 Campaign
-We have a knack for recording during some apparent baseball games
-Two veteran NHL players reach big milestones.
-R.I.P. General Fanager
-Unexpectedly, the Canucks, Canadiens, and Oilers are off to fast start.
-Auston Matthews starts his career off strongly.
-Connor McDavid starts his season off quickly too
-A very Canadian Thumbelina reference
-Glass goalies, Quick and M.Smith hurt again.
-The bizarre Wojtek Wolski incident in Russia.
-Blackhawks sit at 3-3-1.
-Blackhawks PK might be the worst in history, at this point.
-Rookies contributing some, but clearly not enough.
-Several listener questions.
-And of course, as always, an abundance of extremely inappropriate references and jokes in incredibly bad taste

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link: iTunes

Get the Shoutcast directly though Soundcloud here:

For all your custom jersey needs visit Black and Tan Sports at:


Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Blackhawks vs Flyers
7-4 Win Recap

"Seventh Son of a Seventh Son"

by Gatekeeper

With the weekend #PanikAttack over, it was time to come back down to earth, Tuesday night. The Blackhawks welcomed the Flyers from that always fair and rational city of Philly. Coming into this contest, the Blackhawks were a very mediocre 1-2-0 thanks to some growing pains. The problem is that the kids weren't the ones really struggling for this team, it was the veterans. Richard Panik lead the team and was tied for the NHL lead with 4 goals, as well as 5th in the lead in points with 5, coming into the game. Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane, Marian Hossa, and Artemi Panarin had a combined zero goals and 6 points. This is a problem. We all figured that the big names would be the ones coming off the World Cup of Hockey hitting the ground running at full speed and carrying the team, but we couldn't have been more wrong. Alas, this is only 3 games, but some of these big names need to start doing a little more scoring and less fighting ballbag opponents. Is that too much to ask? They have a midget wearing number 22 that can eat fists and sit out for 5 minutes at a crack, or for the entire game for all I care. Knock off the bullshit shenanigans, El Capitan.

Speaking of shenanigans, there were many empty seats in the United Center due to some fucking baseball game that wasn't a clinching or World Series game. Whatever.

Good thing for those that actually showed up in person for this game, the Blackhawks took a quick 1-0 lead and seemed like they were not going to look back. When the clock reached zeros, heading into the first intermission, the Blackhawks were sitting pretty with a comfortable 3-0 lead. The shots on net were actually fairly close, even though the Blackhawks had a slight 11-8 advantage. Powerplays were also even, with each team getting awarded one. The Hawks 3rd goal was on their lone powerplay.

The second period wasn't quite as eventful, but the one event which was most interesting to Blackhawks fans was Marian Hossa's 500th goal. Hossa was the 7th player to get his 500th as a Blackhawk, hence the title. While Cubs fans were whining and pouting about the Dodgers thoroughly kicking their ass, a beloved Blackhawks player was collecting a career milestone. The Blackhawks still held the shot advantage at 22-18, out shooting the Flyers 11-10 in the second. The only bad part of the period was the Philly powerplay goal. The penalty kill took yet another hit.

The Blackhawks third period could best be described as nauseous. The Hawks blew their lead by giving up 3 goals in roughly three minutes, and it looked like the Cubbie faithful were going to be the only red assed fans in Chicago this night. It kind of felt like the Hawks were going to completely choke when all of a sudden they opened that fresh wound right back up, and performed open heart surgery on the Flyers. Three Blackhawks goals in the final ten minutes were more than enough to come away with a big 7-4 win. Just ask Artem Anisimov what he thought of the win and the young rookie defensemen on the team, would you Jammer?:

The Good
  • Fifty six seconds into the game a really nice, and patient, Artem Anisimov rush up the ice turned into a Patrick Kane goal. Anisimov pulled a Maverick on a defender and the defender flew right by. He sized up Michal Neuvirth, but the Flyer goaler made the save with the puck squirting right by the left post. Patrick Kane picked up the loose puck and his wrap around attempt went off Neuvirth's skate and into the net.
  • With two and a half minutes left in the first period, Flyers rookie defenseman Ivan Provorov picked up a puck at his own blue line and blew a Michelin, ending up on his can. The Moose on the Loose, Dennis Rasmussen, picked up the puck with a clean path to the net. Rasmussen made a nice backhand move and then went 5-hole on Neuvirth to give the Blackhawks a 2-0 lead.
  • Just thirty three seconds after the Rasmussen goal, Shayne Gostisbehere took a penalty for closing his hand on the puck, and the Blackhawks took advantage. The Hawks wasted little time, specifically thirteen seconds, scoring on the resulting powerplay. Brent Seabrook located Artemi Panarin completely across the ice with his stick cocked and hit him for a one timer past Neuvirth, and a Blackhawks 3-0 lead.
  • Five minutes into the second period Marian Hossa cut up the right side of the ice, on the powerplay, and beat Michal Neuvirth for his 500th career goal. I have no idea what the hell Neuvirth was doing on the play, but he gave Hossa far too much net from that angle. Either way, Hossa got the 500th monkey off his back. I'm so glad it wasn't some shitty open net goal, like they tried to do the other night. Great moment for a great guy.

  • After blowing their 4-0 lead, the Blackhawks grabbed the lead back courtesy of the #AK72 line. Claude Giroux gave the puck up in the neutral zone, and the play turned into a Kane-to-Panarin-to-Anisimov goal just seconds later.
  • With just under four minutes remaining in the game, the Flyers Provorov made another rookie mistake turning the puck over to Patrick Kane. Kane led a 2-on-1 with Artemi Panarin, and Steve Mason never stood chance. Kane floated a pass into Panarin's wheelhouse, and Panarin made absolutely no mistaken with another one timer.
  • I have to admit that I really like Michal Neuvirth. He has never really had a chance with a quality defense in front of him, and has carried the Flyers to wins, more than a few times. While Mason is also part of the "Wrong Handed Goalie Club", I have never been a huge fan. Of course this would be the game that Neuvirth gets pulled.

The Bad
  • A late second period Patrick Kane penalty, ended up turning into a Matt Read powerplay goal. Jake Voracek actually messed up and missed the net but the puck caromed behind the net and came out on the other side. Matt Read had gaping net, and did not miss.

The Ugly
  • Provorov eating shit and handing Rasmussen a goal was pretty comical. Welcome to the show, kid.
  • Thirty seven seconds into the third period, and Matt Read cut the Blackhawks lead to 2 goals. Read planted his ass on the back side as Claude Giroux looked to go behind the net. Giroux dumped the puck to Read, who was able to put it over Crawford, but the Blackhawks were still up 4-2 right? No problem, right?
  • A minute and seventeen seconds after the second Read goal, Sean Couturier made a nice move on Crawford and cut the Blackhawks lead to just one goal. Queue a timeout by Dr. Lineblender.
  • That timeout did little to stop the Flyers momentum, after a Michal Kempny high sticking penalty just about two minutes after the Couturier goal. Wayne Simmonds was the game tying goal scorer, and we back to even. Brutal series of goals against for the Blackhawks.
  • After Hossa scored his 500th goal, he was hurt blocking a shot and wasn't able to finish the game.
  • The Blackhawks penalty kill was, and continues to be, a flaming bag of dog shit.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • The #AK72 line had a helluva night, potting 4 of the 7 goals. Not only that, but their overall CORSI percentages all between 60% and 69%.
  • Jonathan Toews, #DickFuckingPanik and Tyler Motte, well, not so much. They were the worst on the team, all in the low 40s.
  • Oddly enough, Marian Hossa was the team worst CORSI at 23%

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Motte - Toews - Panik
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Hinostroza - Schmaltz - Hossa
Rasmussen - Kruger - Tootoo

Hjalmarsson - Keith
Kempny - Seabrook
Forsling - Campbell


Thursday, October 13, 2016

Blackhawks vs Blues
5-2 Loss Recap

"Lesson Learned"

by Gatekeeper

The Blackhawks began what one could only predict as a tumultuous season, Wednesday night, against the same team that they ended last season as well as this preseason against. Those pesky and wretched St. Louis Blues. While I certainly hated the Red Wings (how can you not?), I had to respect their success. The Blues and their fans demand respect, but have earned none of it. Typical of this great unwashed Blues fan base we have been saddled with. All that said, we have been presented the freshest Blackhawks roster in recent memory. This is both a blessing and curse. We could be watching the next generation of Blackhawks regulars emerge, or we could be watching the next crop of colossal Blackhawks failures. Call it ignorance or blind faith, but I'm going to suggest that we all have an open outlook until given some concrete doom and gloom. That said, I'm not going to predict a certain dominant regular season followed by a cruise through the playoffs and sweep of the Stanley Cup final. We're going to see some struggling, especially early in the season. Just hang on to your asses, fans. It's not time to #DickPanik, just yet.

The Blackhawks opened up their play and looked fairly promising for most the first period, even though the Blues out shot them 9-6. Of course, it certainly doesn't hurt your chances to look good when you take quick 1-0 lead. The kids had a little spring in their step, and the vets looked happy to be back. I could have done without some of the big chances against but we'll take what we can get, right? Not so fast, Kemosabe.

The Blackhawks second period was a different story for the men in red. The Blues absolutely dominated the entire period, out shooting the Hawks an incredible (and embarrassing) 15-3. Luckily for the home team, they only surrendered one goal, and managed to score on one of their 3 shots. They certainly tried their damnedest to give the Blues the lead, though. Quite frankly, the Hawks play was embarrassing, save for their one goal. There is no excuse to be dominated like that, at home.

The embarrassment continued and rolled right on in to the third period for the Slackhawks. They gave up an early powerplay goal on the remaining penalty time which rolled over from the infraction filled second period, and then gave up two late empty net goals. Shots were actually only 10-10, because the Hawks actually mounted some late pressure but it did them no good. There is still a long way to go, but this game wasn't exactly the most memorable or promising season openers. Hell, they were out scored by some kid with Toronto that scored 4 goals in his NHL debut. We all need to forget about this one, in fact.

The Good
  • First goal of the season was by my guy, #DickPanik! After I spent a good 10 minutes the night before, on the Shoutcast, talking about fans irrational hate of the guy, he opens up the 2016 season with the first goal. To reel this back in, lets not forget that players like Brandon Bollig have had the same distinction. The bar is low. Give the man his credit, though. Panik did exactly what I said he needed to do weeks ago, which is JUST NOT FUCK UP. He planted his as in the slot and picked up a Toews rebound with a gaping net in front of him. ON THE POWER PLAY, no less. Tell me, again, how he isn't going to be able to put in 30-35 points. He clearly has to work on those multiple, blind turnovers to opponents in the slot, but you can bet Quenneville won't let him forget those anytime soon.
  • It was nice to see Brent Seabrook get called out for some good plays in the first period, rather just than his contract. He ended up with the most shifts and, consequently, led the Blackhawks in time on ice. Maybe the smarmy crabasses will lay off him for bit. I still love the guy, and I'm not afraid to admit it.
  • This new third line gave the Blues fits, for a short time at least, with about 6 minutes left in the second period. Their hard work led to Ryan Hartman's first NHL goal and Tyler Motte's first NHL point. Hartman and Motte just used their youthful hustle to out work the Blues in their own zone. It needs to be pointed out, because scoreless narratives, that a timely #ScorelessMarcusKruger stick check was what led to Motte driving the puck in front of the net, and eventually to Ryan Hartman.
  • Corey Crawford didn't have a terrible night. He saved 29 of 32, and kept the Blackhawks close until the final minutes.
  • It took Quenneville all of 40 minutes into the new season to move Artemi Panarin up with Jonathan Toews and Marian Hossa. I've been saying this should happen for 2 months, but lets all now act surprised.
  • I did not hate the wing duo of Tyler Motte and Ryan Hartman. They seemed to have some good speed and a little agitation factor. I'm curious to see how this works itself out, because Hartman certainly has that ability to go full meatball, much like his predecessor Andrew Shaw. Again, I'm open minded. Ride it out for a few games.

The Bad
  • A second period Trevor Van Riemsdyk penalty turned into the game tying goal, about 5 minutes in to the middle period. Kevin ShitInPants was given far too much time and space to unleash a wicked one timer, and Brian Campbell severely screened Corey Crawford. You could tell by Crawford's reaction that he didn't see it at all.
  • The completely baffling need for Joel Quenneville to dress a hammer throwing bum, and then nail the guy to the bench in any important part of the game just makes you want to chuck a bud light from the 300 level into Joel Quenneville's general direction. Jordin Tutu barely saw the ice all night, and finished with a grand total of 4:26. Almost every second of those four minutes and twenty six seconds were in the first two periods. He played one 19 second shift in the third. WHY? What is the point?
  • While we're talking about ice time, Nick Schmaltz, folks. May the Schmaltz be with you, right? He played a grand total of 8:51 with that "almost unplayable" 4th line. Vinny Hinostroza played 7:47. Ryan Hartman only played 8:33, but made the most of his limited time. I say "almost unplayable" because Jordin Tutu is useless, and you have 2 rookies that are trying to get their NHL footing. You're throwing 3 guys out there that all need some support, and none of them can support each other. Schmaltz and Hinostroza need to have talent with them. The 4th line is honestly just Quenneville saying, "Who's left? OK, the rest of you guys just get out there for 35 seconds". This is going to be the most painful part of the season.

The Ugly
  • Right off the bat, they screwed up the mic level on the anthem. You had ONE JOB!
  • This was not Trevor Van Riemsdyk's best night, to put it lightly. In all fairness, Joel Quenneville played him way out of position. Might as well put him at first line left wing, for fuck's sakes. How does everyone but Quenneville realize this guy is just a number 6 defenseman? That said, Van Riemsdyk did himself no favors by also taking a late penalty in the third. If Q plays Van Riemsdyk on the top pair again, someone needs to knock him out with a shovel and hope he ends up with amnesia. Put the guy where he belongs. Bottom pair, sheltered minutes and not too many defensive zone starts. Quantum physics this is not.
  • The Blackhawks absolutely fell apart at the end of the second period. They put themselves down 5-on-3 with some sloppy play and were on yet another delayed penalty when Vlady Tarasenko beat Corey Crawford to tie the game. The worst part of the entire situation is that the Blues remained on the 2 man advantage because of the delayed penalty. The only saving grace was the fact that the intermission mercifully came. If you have a 5-on-3 and the goalie pulled for another delayed penalty and you don't score, it should be a shock.
  • Just a minute into the third period, the Blues picked up where the second period ended. Paul Stastny whacked a rebound past Corey Crawford for a 3-2 Blues lead and they never lost the lead again. What do you really expect when you take three penalties in the matter of 3 minutes?
  • Of all the bad, the worst might have been the final minute or so. The Blackhawks gave up not, but TWO empty net goals. That is not even the worst part of it. The last goal was Brent Seabrook and Duncan Keith combining to score on their own net. Just perfect. Like a perfect horse's ass. This is another coaching decision I never bought into. If you give up an empty net goal, just throw the goalie back out there and admit defeat. Instead, Quenneville left Crawford on the bench and it turned into the Benny Hill show.
  • This; just because:

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • Not only did Jordin Tutu and Nick Schmaltz bring up the bottom or the Blackhawks CORSI, but there wasn't a single offensive shot created which them on the ice. Ten against. WOOF!
  • As odd as this sounds, Campbell, Panarin, Hossa, Toews, Forsling, Panik and Kane all had CORSI over 56%. I guess it all evens out when you have numbers like 0%, 0%, 7%, 19% and 25% at the bottom. We all thought it was going to be a top heavy lineup, but yikes!

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Panik - Toews - Hossa
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Motte - Kruger - Hartman
Hinostroza - Schmaltz - Tootoo

Keith - van Riemsdyk
Kempny - Seabrook
Forsling - Campbell


Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast
Episode 67

In this 67th Puckin Hostile Shoutcast (the Tanner Kero episode) Gatekeeper, Pat, and Derek are joined by Greg Boysen from LetsGoHawk.net (among others) to talk about the upcoming 2016-17 Blackhawks season.

The panel discuss the following:
-Apparently there was a baseball game on, somewhere.
-The joke that the department of player safety has reverted back into.
-Barret Jackman retires
-Injuries to Sidney Crosby and Jonathan Huberdeau, among others
-World Cup of Money finally ends
-Hoopla over Connor McClavicle becoming captain in Edmonton.
-Blackhawks signings, roster moves, opening night lineups
-The preseason comes and goes
-Dat Stan Bowman stinks, he couldn't get dat Nails guy.
-Hjalmarsson suspension
-6 Rookies make the opening night roster
-Stop the #DickPanik and TvR hate!
-And of course, as always, an abundance of extremely inappropriate references and jokes in incredibly bad taste

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link: iTunes

Get the Shoutcast directly though Soundcloud here:

For all your custom jersey needs visit Black and Tan Sports at:


Saturday, October 8, 2016

Preseason: IceHawks at St. Louis
2-1 Loss Recap

"Over Now"

by Gatekeeper

Game 2 of the the NLDS, or the final Blackhawks preseason game?

The Blackhawks, of course.

Speaking of the Blackhawks, they were in St. Louis to wrap up this year's preseason. They sent a young skeleton squad south, just in case the thug squad wanted to throw on their clown shoes and start taking cheap shots, so let's call them the IceHawks (because BlackHogs might bring up some unsavory comparisons). We all saw what happened a week ago, so it's not a reach to think it could happen again. After this one, the Blackhawks have about 3 days to get their roster straightened out. As insignificant as this game might seem, this may be what makes or breaks some of the kids for the start of the regular season.

The first period was, as expected, a snoozer. The IceHawks looked over matched right off the bat, but only went into the first intermission down 1-0. The tale of the shots told a better story, where the Blues out shot the IceHawks 11-6. This certainly looked like it was going to be a long boring game.

The only thing that made the second period any more interesting than the insufferable first, was the Blackhawks tying the game. That was basically the only interesting moment of this period. In fact, the second period was WORSE than the first. Both teams COMBINED for nine shots. NINE! If you say I'm salty because I had to sit through this one and recap it, you'd be completely right. I hate baseball, and I would have rather watched the Cubs. Anywho, one more period to go.

The third period, predictably, wasn't any better. The Blues took a 2-1 lead, and the game should have just ended right there. The game came to a merciful ending at 9:30 and it wasn't a second too soon. Now we have 3 days to get this roster straight.

The Good
  • Three minutes into the second period, the Blackhawks scored in very similar fashion to the way the Blues did in the first. Dennis Rasmussen won a faceoff back to Trevor Van Riemsdyk let a long show go. Rasmussen slightly redirected the shot and it went off a Blues defender past Hutton. So, the 4th line avenges themselves.

The Bad
  • I haven't a fucking clue why there is such irrational hate for #DickPanik. Guy has been Frolik v2.0. He plays in all situations, and he's cheap. He can move up and down the lineup, and could very reasonably contribute the 30 points that Yakupov has peaked at, for a fraction of the cap hit. Also, as I mentioned on Twitter, I loved Michael Frolik, but he played a max of 63 games and had a max of 15 points. That's not going to be hard for Panik to reach. He's a useful, affordable, and very versatile player. No one should expect him to become Artemi Panarin, but doing all the things Frolik did is important and something he can do. Embrace that, for fuck sakes.
  • It didn't even take more than seven minutes for the Blues to finally take a lead. Quite frankly, I'm surprised that it took that long. Dennis Rasmussen lost a defensive zone faceoff cleanly, and Vlad Tarasenko snapped it over Crawford.
  • Early in the second period, Alexandre Fortin was a little too non-chalant in his own zone and had his pocket picked, pretty embarrassingly. Thank god, Crawford bailed him out. The really nice part was that he turned around and hustled his ass off to get in position for a 2-on-1 with #DickPanik on the other end. If not for a nice Carter Hutton save, he would have had himself a nice back door goal and a two goal swing.
  • With four minutes gone in the third period, Alex Pietrangelo squeezed a shot through Crawford on the powerplay. For the second time Gustav Forsling LOOKED like a 20 year old defenseman. He put in a half assed effort when faced with Pietrangelo and basically abandoned ship. This gave the Blues defenseman a clean look on Crawford. The very next shift he had his pocket picked deep in his own zone again. Later in the third he practically handed Tarasenko a breakaway.
  • The Blues had 11 shots in the first period and 10 the rest of the way. Just goes to show that neither team really cared.
  • Andrew Desjardins apparently hurt himself blocking a shot in the third period. No word on the extent of the injury.

The Ugly
  • The game wasn't five minutes old and the trio of Van Riemsdyk, Pokka, and Forsling all got walked like they were standing still. There is your defensive youth movement.
  • Jake Allen was hurt in the first period when his own player fell on his ankle and did not come out for the second. Carter Hutton finished the game.
  • I know John Jaeckel was all about Mark McNeill but, personally, I just don't see it. To score like 25 goals in the AHL twice with his size and strength, and look so underwhelming in the NHL defies all logic. Just another wasted Blackhawks first round draft pick. Why couldn't they have sold Montreal on HIM? When you have a hard time beating out Brandon Manshitter and Jordin Tutu, you're a bad fucking player.

The Lineblender
Fortin - Schmaltz - Panik
Motte - Kruger - Hartman
Hinostroza - Desjardins - Tootoo
Mashinter - Rasmussen - McNeill

Kempny - Rozsival
Pokka - Forsling
Svedgroot - van Riemsdyk


Friday, October 7, 2016

Puckin Hostile
NHL 17 Blackhawks Roster Guide

Hello, NHL 17 fans. First of all, I'd like to take a second to plug the Special Puckin Hostile Shoutcast last week, where we discussed EA Sports NHL 17. Big Chris and I mentioned some Blackhawks roster issues, so I sat down with the latest roster update on 9/21 and tried to wade through the Blackhawks organization.

These are the most obvious roster moves and adjustments. These are just suggestions,

Blackhawks Moves
Erik Gustsafson - Blackhawks - Move to RFD
Jay Harrison - Rockford - Send to Winnipeg
Michal Kempny - Rockford - Change to 82 ovr and send to Blackhawks
Robin Norell - Djurgarden (SHL) - Move to RFD
Robin Press - Djurgarden (SHL) - Can Move to RFD
John Dahlstrom - Frolunda (SHL) - Can Move to RFD
Lars Johansson - Frolunda (SHL) - Increase from 70 to 75, move to RFD
Carl Dahlstrom - Linkoping (SHL) - Move to RFD
Gustav Forsling - Linkoping (SHL) - Increase to 75, move to RFD or CHI
Mathias From - Rogle (SHL) - Possible move to RFD
Martin Lundberg - Skelleftea (SHL) - Move to RFD
Joni Tuulola - Hameenlinna HPK (Liiga) - Possible move to RFD
Radovan Bondra - Vancouver Giants (WHL) - Possible move to RFD
Alex Debrincat - Erie Otters (OHL) - Possible move to RFD
Graham Knott - Niagra IceHogs (OHL) - Possible move to RFD
Nathan Noel - St Johns Seadogs (QMJHL) - Possible move to RFD
Roy Radke - Barrie Colts (OHL) - Possible move to RFD
Alexandre Fortin - Rouen-Normandy Huskies (QMJHL) - Increase to low 70s ovr, Possible move to RFD or Chi
Nick Schmaltz - NONE - Create possible 75 ovr, and to RFD or CHI
Tyler Motte - NONE - Create possible 75 ovr, and to RFD or CHI

NHL Moves
Jesse Puljujarvi - Oulun Karpat (Liiga) - Move to EDM
Patrick Laine - Tampereen Tappara (Liiga) - Move to WIN
Auston Mathews - ZCS Lions (National) - Move to TOR
Mitch Marner - London Knights (OHL) - Move to TOR

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Preseason: Blackhawks vs Red Wings
6-1 Win Recap

"Your Decision"

by Patrick Stankus

The Blackhawks rolled into the home stretch of their preseason on the ass end of a Red Wings "home and home" series, Tuesday night. This lineup would look more like an NHL lineup than the collection of toddlers that they rolled out Sunday evening. Corey Crawford and Duncan Keith were in the lineup for the first time, which could only help the Blackhawks chances. Young phenoms Alexandre Fortin and Gustav Forsling were in the lineup, again, proving that the coaching staff really wants to take a long look at what the future holds for them. It's nice to see some young players show promise. More than we can say for most recent Hawks draft picks, eh?

The Blackhawks actually resembled an NHL team which made the game a lot easier to enjoy, and two first period goals were a big part of that. The Hawks lines had some new names sprinkled in, but plenty of familiar ones were involved in the action. Duncan Keith and Andrew Desjardins had primary assists in both of the goals. The Blackhawks also doubled up the Wings in shots 12-6, as well as powerplays 2-1. Funny how the team plays so much better when Kane, Keith, and Crawford are on the ice, eh?

When the puck dropped on the second period, the Puckin' Hostile Crew made a change on the recap. #Fatrick picked up his regularly scheduled recap duties from Gate, and thus the recap will probably go to hell in a hand basket. Can you tell the difference? Anyway early in the period, the Hawks would receive another power play courtesy of another Jonathan Ericsson penalty. While the first unit had some good looks, it was the second unit that cashed in to increase the lead to 3-0. Midway through the period, the Hawks would make a change in net, as Scott Darling would takeover for Corey Crawford. Darling would yield a goal to see the Wings cut the lead to 3-1, but Nick Schmaltz would add his first goal of the preseason, giving the Hawks a 4-1 lead after two periods.

The third period was, lets be honest, not entertaining. The Hawks completely dominated the play throughout the final frame. In the period, the Hawks out shot the Wings by a 10-3 margin. Following a nice chip n' chase by Ryan Hartman, Alexandre Fortin would tally his second goal of the preseason to give the Hawks a 5-1 lead. The Hawks however weren't done scoring. Late in the period, while on the power play, Gustav Forsling had a beautiful shot pass, that Artem Anisimov redirected past Jimmy Howard to give a 6-1 lead, which would prove to be the final score.

The Good
  • Five minutes into the first period, and Duncan Keith was right in the middle of the Blackhawks first goal. A long Keith shot into traffic didn't make it to the net, but it did drop a few feet out. Ryan, or as Foley called him "Mike", Hartman spun around and smacked the loose puck past Jimmie Howard. After a pretty "Meh" camp, he finally had the spotlight. If I can have Hartman over Mashinter or Tootoo, I'm taking it. Otherwise, I don't see a use for him.
  • Late in the first period, Andrew Desjardins found himself with the puck on his stick at the left circle. His shot changed direction when it went off the shin pad of Vinny Hinostroza and squirted right between Howards pads. Two early Hawks goals, by two young players looking to stick around.
  • It was refreshing to see a defenseman rush the puck up the ice like Brian Campbell did on the Hawks power play goal in the second period. Fortin took the puck from Campbell, and made a slick pass to #DickPanik, who buried it. Please tell me this is a sign of things to come with the power play.
  • Nick Schmaltz scored his first goal of the preseason off a redirect of an Artemi Panarin bomb. It was nice to see Schmaltz score, but I'm fearing all the meatballs will have their anointing oil out for him because of it.
  • Well, I'm one who always likes to preach patience, but Gustav Forsling is looking like he could be a solid ole defenseman. The shot pass he had on Anisimov's goal was fantastic. He seems to have that hockey sense so many prospects wish they had. Granted it is preseason, but he's been impressive to say the least.
  • Another interesting roster decision that looms is that for Alexandre Fortin. Fortin has been nothing short of impressive on the forward front. For a team that can lack speed at times, it'd be nice to see if he gets a fair shot with 9 games if he makes the final roster cut.
  • Duncan Keith looked like his old self tonight, despite it being his first game. Keith ended the night with 2 assists and a +3. 
  • Ryan Hartman had a solid game as well. Problem for him is, he needs to be effective like this on a more consistent basis.
  • Corey Crawford made his preseason debut for the Hawks tonight. He didn't face much action, but at least the black gear is highly approved by the Hostile Crew.

The Bad
  • Eric Tangradi took a run at Patrick Kane in the third period. Luckily for Kane's sake, it was Eric Tangradi going after him. But it was nice to see our gritty enforcers Tootoo, and Desjardins send a mess...... oh wait, nevermind.
  • Pat and Eddie O seemed really interested in the game tonight. Never too early to start the #DrunkPatFoley talk I guess.

The Ugly
  • Apparently the Blackhawks aren't the only ones who need some fine tuning when it comes to the preseason. I pulled a #DickPanik and overslept past the start of the game, and Gate started the recap. That was until I informed him I signed up for tonight, and therefore properly drove this recap straight off a cliff after the first period. But hey they don't call us the best recap team for nothing.
  • Move along, there's nothing else to add tonight. Seriously if you made if this far, have a beer. I am done.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • The corsi of this recap took a massive hit as #Fatrick took over after the first period

The Lineblender
Fortin - Anisimov - Kane
Panarin - Schmaltz - Panik
Motte - Kruger - Hartman
Hinostroza - Desjardins - Tootoo

Keith - van Riemsdyk
Kempny - Seabrook
Forsling - Campbell


Sunday, October 2, 2016

Preseason: Blackhawks at Detroit
6-3 Loss Recap

"We Die Young"

by Gatekeeper

The Blackhawks headed to Detoilet Sunday afternoon, while their football counterparts played the Detoilet team back at home. Considering the lineup that the Blackhawks iced, they might as well have been playing football. The only legit NHL players on the ice for this game in a Blackhawks uniform were Trevor van Riemsdyk and Richard Panik. That said, "NHL player" is debatable, in this particular case. Talk about getting the short end of the recap stick. At least the Blackhawks broke their scoreless streak in games I recapped, after 130 minutes.

The Blackhawks, more specifically Ivan Nalimov, started out as bad as you possibly can. Nalimov gave up two goals on the first two NHL shots he faced. He later gave up another soft goal before the first period was even eleven minutes old, which left most fans feeling particularly uninspired. Alex Fortin finally gave the Blackhawks faithful a little hope with about four minutes remaining in the opening period. The fact that the Blackhawks managed only four shots on net and scored on one is a miracle. Detoilet, on the other hand, scored on three of their 10 shots.

The Blackhawks actually gathered themselves together enough to pull within one goal in the second period, but it was all downhill from there. After Rasmussen made the game 3-2, the Wings followed up with two goals in five minutes. The deck was stacked against this iteration of the Wings, and this was just not the Blackhawks night. If the Wings could actually keep from pissing themselves, they could have really run away with game.

The Blackhawks actually showed enough marbles to make this a game, in the third period.

They had some help from noted sniper Brandon Manshitter, though. A couple of powerplays could have really made the game closer, but the Hawks just couldn't put anything together. Eventually, the Wings sealed the game with a pretty hilarious empty net goal. The fact that this game was ever close, with the Hawks getting out shot 31-14, is pretty comical.

The Good
  • With about four minutes left in the first period, the Blackhawks finally showed some signs of life. Sam Carrick found Alexandre Fortin cutting straight up the ice, between the Detoilet defenders, and sent Fortin in on a breakaway. Fortin gave Petr Mrazek a little head fake, and deked Mrazek out of his tiny little walnut shell jock. All that was left for Fortin to do was to tuck the puck into the now open net, and he made no mistake.
  • Midway through the second period, Dennis Rasmussen pulled the Blackhawks within one goal, after Petr Mrazek did his best Jonathan Quick impression, finding himself seriously out of position. All Rasmussen had to do was gather the puck and backhand it into a gaping net.
  • This may seem like I'm fucking with you, but I'm 100% serious. Brandon Manshitter scored on a breakaway with a couple of minutes gone in the third period.
    I know right? I cannot believe my own eyes, either. Shit, problem solved. Put that man next to Toews and Hossa for game 1. Clearly he's had us all fooled, and he's a god damn sniper.

The Bad
  • I have not been particularly impressed with the object of Derek's irrational obsession, and female impersonator, Ville Pokka. Pokka has made a play or two, but his feet have look very slow and he's gotten caught several times cheating towards the wrong end of the ice. Gustav Forsling had looks far more composed and talented.
  • Late in the second period, Lars Johansson entered the game and immediately found the first shot he faced end up in the back of the net, giving the Wings a 4-2 lead. Even though the goal pinballed off his blocker, it was from a very tight angle and should have never ended up in the net.
  • A few minutes later, the Blackhawks gave up the 5th of the game, on the PK. Johansson made a save on a long one timer and the rebound bounced around in the crease. Svedberg swung and missed the puck, leaving Anthony Mantha a chip shot off the post and in. Johansson was clearly visibly unhappy with Svedberg on the play.
  • Hey, look at that! The Blackhawks beat a team in HITZ. That means they must have won the game, right? I mean, I've been told that those HITZ play a huge part in WINZ. Don't they?
  • The Blackhawks had one guy with faceoff percentage over 50%, the other 3 were all below 40%. Jake Dowell won 27%.

The Ugly
  • Not even two minutes into the game and it was 2-0. KHLer Ivan Nalimov did himself absolutely no favors, especially if you saw the scowl on Joel Quenneville's face after the second goal. You could say his Blackhawks career is heading in the direction of a Yak service airliner. I'm not even going to break the goals down, because I've seen midget goalies play better than that. I feel bad for the guy, because he's got size and could really make a name for himself. I was hoping for more out of him.
  • With about nine minutes left in the first period, the Blackhawks were down 0-3. Danny Dekeyser just blew a 40' slapshot past Nalimov that may or may not have be redirected. I had high hopes for this Russian kid, but holy dogshit, he was NOT ready for this.
  • Just in case anyone cares (and you shouldn't) Chris Desousa followed up stellar preseason scraps by noted heavyweight sluggers Jordin Tutu and Ryan ScissorhandsMan, with a silly staged scrap of his own following the 5th Detoilet goal.
  • The only thing worse that the matching save percentages of Nalimov and Johansson (.813), was Detoilet's number one goalie's save percentage (.786). This was our 7th and 3rd goalies on the depth chart, respective, Wings fans. Mrazek is your best.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • The line of Mashinter/Dowell/Desousa led the Hawks in Corsi. I give up.
  • Every player on the Wings was basically at 55% Corsi for except Drew Miller.

The Lineblender
McNeill - Rasmussen - Abbott
Fortin - Kero - Panik
Lundberg - Johnson - Carrick
Mashinter - Dowell - Desousa

Svedberg - Pokka
Norell - van Reimsdyk
Schilling - Gustafsson

Ivan Nalimov
Lars Johansson

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Preseason: Blackhawks at Pittsburgh
1-0 Shutout Loss Recap

"Sober And Irrelevant"

Still no game photos from the broke ass Hawks site.

by Gatekeeper

Preseason game two, everyone. Aren't we all excited?


With The World Cup of Money finally over we can actually get to the serious business at hand, which is the fantastic voyage to the 2017 Stanley Cup. Only roughly 9 months to go, so consider yourselves all recently knocked up in a very uncomfortable place, like in the back seat of a Volkswagen (name that reference). Drilling down to the more specific subject concerning us all, which is the Blackhawks and their roster uncertainty. Our windy city caped crusaders took their 60 minute scoreless streak into Pittsburgh, to attempt to avenge their flame out two nights previous, in front of their home fans. As I stated in that recap, I really don't care if they go 0-6 in the preseason as long as they hash out some of the holes in the roster. Play the hell out of the kids, which is exactly what they did Wednesday night. Just accept it for what it is, and enjoy seeing some future Blackhawks wearing their Halloween costumes a month early. Tonight they were trick or treating in Pittsburgh PA, to wrap up the ass end of a home-n-home against the Pens. On to the action...

Due to the Hawks getting in late to Pittsburgh, they were pretty sluggish to start the game. They didn't get a shot until almost half way through the period, but somehow ended up with 7. The Pens had the edge in chances and shots with 13. Other than that, there wasn't much excitement to speak of, which helped extend the Hawks scoreless streak to 80 minutes.

The Blackhawks barely stepped out of the locker room and they put themselves down 0-1. The rest of the period was back to boring vanilla hockey and 19 and a half minutes later, the score remained that way. This extended the Blackhawks scoreless streak, once again, to 100 minutes.

The Blackhawks third period was just more of the same anemic offense, leaving the Pens to win 1-0. What more can you say about 120 straight scoreless minutes of hockey? I was the sorry fucking sap that rushed home to watch this garbage on the DVR. See you all at the UC tomorrow...

The Good
  • Lars Johansson didn't get a lot of help in the first period, but showed some veteran poise. I was impressed. He has a very smooth feel to his style and doesn't waste a lot of movement. He looks bigger in net that the 6' he's listed at, and finished with 18 saves. Certainly and adequate starter for the IceHogs
  • Tyler Motte showed some good offensive skill in this game. He was in on Marc-Andre Fleury one-on-one, twice in the second period alone.
  • If Trevor van Riemsdyk is one of your top offensive weapons, you're having a rough night, and this was certainly the case. He channeled his inner Blackhawks Legend Bobby Orr, and was involved in several offensive rushes.

The Bad
  • It took the Blackhawks almost 8 full minutes to finally get a shot on net in the first period. Not ideal. This may have had something to do with the late flight into Pittsburgh.
  • After sneaking out of the first period unscathed, the Blackhawks gave up a 0-1 lead less than 30 seconds into the second period. Big dopey Carl Dahlstrom got caught chasing the puck and left Scott Wilson wide open in front of Johansson. Johansson actually got a piece Wilson's shot, but it had enough on it to get into the net.
  • Marc-Andre Fleury only had to make 24 saves, which is a really easy night for him.

The Ugly
  • The Pens Steven Oleksy turned out to be a real piece of shit, sticking his leg out and nearly maiming Graham Knott, after a bit of a cheap shot and fight earlier in the night involving Ryan Hartman. The only noticeable thing Kyle Baun did the entire game, was jump on Oleksy after the cheap shot on Knott.
  • Speaking of Hartman, he's playing himself out of the lineup quickly. His first game was generally awful, and then he negated a Blackhawks powerplay in this one with a stupid interference penalty. He's got the Andrew Shaw stupidity down pat.
  • Holy shit, the Blackhawks power play was atrocious.

The Lineblender
Motte - Hinostroza - Hartman
Fortin - Kero - Baun
DeBrincat - Knott - Schmaltz
Labrie - Desjardins - Lundberg

Forsling - Gustafsson
Kempny - Rozsival
Dahlstrom - van Reimsdyk

Lars Johansson
Mac "The Truth" Carruth

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