• Welcome to the all new, redesigned Puckin Hostile

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  • The Puckin Hostile Blackhawks Shoutcast

    Join the Hostile crew for this bi-weekly look at the NHL and Blackhawks hockey. Of course, it just wouldn't feel right without plenty of inappropriate jokes and references. Available on iTunes and Soundcloud.

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Sunday, October 30, 2016

Blackhawks vs. Kings
3-0 Shutout Win Recap

 "Walkin' Tall Machine Gun Man"

by Patrick Stankus

After a quick trip to New Jersey on Friday night, the Blackhawks returned home on Sunday night to take on their media made up rivals, the Los Angeles Kings. The Kings have recently found new life with their string goalie Peter Budaj, following the injuries to Jonathan Quick and Jeff Zatkoff. With the Kings playing the second of a back to back, the Hawks should have more energy at the start, and hopefully can use that to their advantage. That seems unlikely though, since this is one of those "great six o'clock starts" and the Cubs don't start until seven, so more meatball eyes will be on the Hawks. Thus bad things tend to happen when the meatballs are watching.

Prior to puck drop, the Hawks held a ceremony for Marian Hossa celebrating his recent milestone of 500 career goals. Stick taps to Hoss on a helluva career thus far. Once the game got underway, it was quite obvious the Hawks were ready to go. They set the tone early by pressuring the Kings in their own end. In the opening frame, the Hawks had the chance to bury the Kings, by receiving four power plays, one of which was a four minute, double minor. With all those opportunities, the Hawks could only muster one goal with the extra man. After being outplayed during the period, the Kings only found themselves trailing by one.

In the second period, the Hawks continued to dictate the pace of the game, by generating a lot of chances and keeping play down in the Kings end. The Kings really couldn't get much going on, and the momentum stayed with the Hawks. The Hawks put the momentum to good use, and added another goal just past the midway point of the game to increase their lead to 2-0. As the period drew to a close, the Kings had a couple of chances, but Crawford was there to answer and preserve the Hawks lead heading into the third.

The final period saw the Kings sloppy and tired play continue, that resulted in three more power plays for the Hawks. The Kings threw 13 at Corey Crawford, but the majority of them were of the one and done fashion. In the meantime, the Hawks weathered that storm, and Hossa added an empty net goal on the power play to give the Hawks a 3-0 win. In the end, Corey Crawford was named the game's first star, after his 32 save, shutout performance. Next up for the Hawks is a home matchup with the Calgary Flames on Tuesday night.

The Good
  • Hostile Tribe, do us a solid, and send out a tweet with the hashtag #VoteGatekeeper, so we can win Gate some custom goalie equipment for his "Farewell To The Crease" tour of 2017. - UPDATE: Gate wasn't named a finalist, so there's that. Guess they didn't want to give Satan nice things.
  • The ceremony for Hossa was a nice touch. It was great to see them honor the Thrashers legend. In all seriousness, it was well deserved for Hossa.
  • Jonathan Toews opened the scoring for the Hawks in the first period, while on the power play. Almost three weeks into the season, its nice to see him get in the goal column.
  • Artem Anisimov is simply on fire right now. He extended his points streak to seven games with his goal in the second period.
  • The penalty kill finally had a game in which they didn't surrender a power play goal. Praise the Lord.
  • Corey Crawford turned in a 32 save shutout tonight. Must have been the black pads.
  • Like our Canadian correspondent pointed out, this was by far, the most complete game the Hawks have played this year. Granted it was against a team playing on a back to back, but I'll take it. Its something to build upon.

The Bad
  • Four power plays in the first period, and one goal to show for it. Not to mention the four minute power play was a complete joke. Gotta be able to capitalize on the opportunities when they present themselves. In the end, they went 2 for 7, one of which was an empty netter.
  • Devin Setoguchi is still playing hockey. Who knew?
  • I don't feel like being an asshole tonight, so lets just move on.

The Ugly
  • Pat Boyle dropped a "Heeeeerrrreeee's Johnny" when doing the highlight of Toews' goal in the first intermission. Seriously, shut up. You're not a young, hip person. 
  • As I pointed out earlier, Gate wasn't named a finalist for the contest for custom goalie gear by Brian's. With that said, I got something for ya, Brian's. Here's to ya....

Friday, October 28, 2016

Blackhawks at New Jersey
3-2 OT Win Recap

"Forever Lost In Vain"

by Gatekeeper

The Blackhawks returned to action Friday night against Taylor Hall's shiny new Kingdom, the New Jersey Devils. Once again, they were competing with the Cubbies for attention, and let's be honest, they could have won 10 straight cups and still not been able to out draw the Cubs. This made it a lonely night in Blackhawks Land. That is all fine and well. It's been slightly less meatballish in our special little corner of the Chicago sports world, with the knuckleheads doing stupid things like showing up to line up for a evening game, at 5AM. When the Cubs season ends, it'll be back to full on irrational meatball idiocy. This isn't a Cubs site, though, thank god. More about OUR beloved. The Blackhawks. We all had far too many days to think about their abhorrent penalty kill. It was time to get out there and get Cooter to fix that busted ass hooptie. Hey at least the Blackhawks scored, which is more than you could say for the Cubs.

Well, not so fast on fixing that penalty kill. The Blackhawks gave up the lead about ten minutes through the first period on (you guessed it) the powerplay. It's getting comical at this point, because they just look awful. They started off with 2 powerplays of their own, but could barely manage a shot. The Blackhawks were out shot 12-7, which will happen when you can't even get sustained pressure with the man advantage.

The second period turned out a little better for the Blackhawks, even though they were out shot once again pretty badly, 16-5. That is just unacceptable, when you're coming off 3 days rest. Of course, the Blackhawks managed to tie the game roughly midway through, but it was generally a soft goal given up by a backup goalie.

The Blackhawks folded in the third period, and almost lost the game in regulation, as a result. They were not without their opportunities and it took a late double minor with the goalie pulled for the extra attacker to tie the score. Oddly enough, the Blackhawks actually dominated the third period in shots, which eventually worked itself out. Coming from behind on the road can't be a bad sign. This got the Blackhawks to overtime, and their offense just overmatched the Devils and they took home the extra point. The fact that the Hawks fought back to bring the shot differential to just 3.

The Good
  • The Blackhawks powerplay finally came through and tied the game, about seven minutes into the second period. Artemi Panarin was left all alone to size up a leaning Keith Kincaid with the big ass of Artem Anisimov in his grill, and Panarin picked this up. He snapped a long lazer past Kincaid's glove, for the first sign of Blackhawks light through the clouds.
  • Ryan Hartman actually had a pretty damn good game. He was physical and engaged in the Devils end of the ice.
  • With the goalie pulled and the Hawks down 2-1, Marian Hossa found a garbage puck in the Devils crease and chipped it past Keith Kincaid to tie the game for his 501st goal.
  • Artemi Panarin and Artem Anisimov hooked up with 3:45 left in OT to win the game for the Blackhawks. We'll take it.
  • Corey Crawford played another excellent game. He got a little help, but held the Blackhawks close enough to get the win.

The Bad
  • Nick Schmaltz on the point for the second powerplay unit with Brian Campbell. The terror in my mind, if I'm Corey Crawford. WOOF! Even Pat Foley was dumbfounded.
  • Halfway through the first period, it looked as though Artemi Panarin looked to have gotten a lead for the Blackhawks off a little touch pass from Marian Hossa. The puck actually hit the post and then the crossbar, and came to rest between Kincaid's pads.
  • Four minutes into the third period, a huge coverage mixup turned into a John Moore goal, and a 2-1 Devils lead. Brian Campbell got crossed up and Artem Anisimov was napping away for this shift. Crawford had no chance whatsoever.
  • Don't you just love when your 5 minute a game meathead gets a stupid cross checking penalty in the offensive zone and your team is struggling to kill penalties?
  • I can officially admit that I'm disappointed in Michal Kempny's contribution to this team, thus far. He should have been playing more than 14 minutes and should be playing a bigger role than 5th defenseman.

The Ugly
  • The powerplay looked just as bad as the penalty kill to begin the game. They couldn't even manage a god damn shot on net.
  • Speaking of the penalty kill, the Hawks game up yet another powerplay goal to give the Devils a 1-0 lead. Yohann Auvitu took a long shot that Crawford saved but the Hawks couldn't control the rebound, and former Blackhawk P.A. Parenteau whacked the puck into the net. How a team not named Arizona can be this fucking terrible on the penalty kill is beyond comprehension.
  • Taylor Hall had a chance to give the Devils a lead with a minute gone in the third period, and put the puck off the outside of the net.
  • Patrick Kane took a really fucking stupid and blatant slashing penalty in the third period. Just selfish and brainless with your team struggling to kill penalties.
  • Pat was right about the WGN intermission show. It's brutal. I'm not sure how they hired someone more vanilla than Rich King, but it happened. Lauren Magiera and Steve Konroyd are about as interesting as lukewarm vanilla rice. If she said, "Goose Island, We don't want to be the only beer you drink, just the best beer you drink" I was going to put my foot through the TV.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • The 4th line, expectedly, got torn up possession wise, but they also started just about every shift in their own end.
  • John Moore was a -21 and Ben Lovejoy was a -15 Corsi. Brutal.

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Panik - Toews - Kane
Panarin - Anisimov - Hossa
Motte - Kruger - Hartman
Rasmussen - Schmaltz - Tootoo

Keith - Campbell
Hjalmarsson - Seabrook
Kempny - Rozsival


Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Help Gate Win and Help Design His Gear

Good morning Puckin Hostile fans, I mentioned this on the Shoutcast last night, but I thought I would elaborate more, here. Brian's Custom Goalie gear is holding a campaign to win a brand new set of goalie gear. I figured that since my old Brian's gear is well over a decade old, I could go out with a bang and have my last set of gear be the mother of all sets, but with a twist. If we can pull this off, I will allow the Hostile tribe to help me design the gear.

This, of course, is within reason, of course.

Making the gear some ridiculous colors or design defeats the entire purpose. The color scheme will be of my choosing (Some form of Blackhawks colors) but, if they let us, I want to make it some of the sickest gear they've ever made. Something along this line:

This is where you fans step in. We need to flood social media for the next week or so with #VoteGatekeeper (Also include #GN3TIK4ME or #TeamBStar). The hashtag will work on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Flood the Brian's twitter account (@GoaliesOnly). Elmhurst native Garret Sparks (in the Toronto system) is involved with monitoring as well, so flood him too. I say flood #LemontNativeScottDarling, too, since he is a Brian's spokesperson. Screw it! They asked for it, they'll get it.

According to their website, Brian's and Sparks will pick a top 3 and then open up voting this weekend. Here is the timeline:

Contest runs Monday, October 24 - to November

1st - Launch Day of the G-NETik Pro 3.

Round 1 – Submissions – Oct 24th –Oct. 30th

Final 3 Selected - Oct 30th

Final Vote – Oct 31

Lets do this! Show them that Blackhawks and Hostile fans cant be the biggest pain in ass they ever dealt with.

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast
Episode 68

In this 68th Puckin Hostile Shoutcast (the Jaromir Jagr, not the traveling Jagrs, episode) Gatekeeper, Pat, Derek, and Bryan go hostful because no one wants to record a stupid podcast about hockey when they could be watching baseball (gag).

Well, one of these clowns feel that way. We'll let you all deduce which one.

The panel discuss the following:
-The #VoteGatekeeper Brian's goalie pad G-Netik Pro 3 Campaign
-We have a knack for recording during some apparent baseball games
-Two veteran NHL players reach big milestones.
-R.I.P. General Fanager
-Unexpectedly, the Canucks, Canadiens, and Oilers are off to fast start.
-Auston Matthews starts his career off strongly.
-Connor McDavid starts his season off quickly too
-A very Canadian Thumbelina reference
-Glass goalies, Quick and M.Smith hurt again.
-The bizarre Wojtek Wolski incident in Russia.
-Blackhawks sit at 3-3-1.
-Blackhawks PK might be the worst in history, at this point.
-Rookies contributing some, but clearly not enough.
-Several listener questions.
-And of course, as always, an abundance of extremely inappropriate references and jokes in incredibly bad taste

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link: iTunes

Get the Shoutcast directly though Soundcloud here:

For all your custom jersey needs visit Black and Tan Sports at:


Monday, October 24, 2016

Blackhawks vs. Flames
3-2 Shootout Loss Recap

"What I See Is Unreal"

by Patrick Stankus

The Blackhawks busy stretch of three games in four nights came to an end Monday night as the Hawks played host to the Calgary Flames at The UC. So far in the stretch, the Hawks have split the previous two games, with the last being an overtime win against the Maple Leafs on Saturday night. Tonight's matchup would mark the return of some familiar faces as, Michael Frolik, Kris Versteeg, and Troy Brouwer are members of the Flames now. Frankly, I could careless, but you know we'll get that overplayed by Pat and Eddie on the broadcast.

After the opening faceoff it was quite obvious that one team was ready to play, and one wasn't. The Flames absolutely dominated play early on, and the only reason the Hawks weren't in a huge hole was due to the play of their goaltender. As the game approached the five minute mark, Tyler Motte put the Hawks shorthanded, and the Flames made them pay with a power play goal. Despite being out shot 14-8 in the first period, and flat out dominated, the Hawks somehow only trailed by one after 20 minutes.

In the second period, the Hawks came out with a lot more energy than the first period, but that's really not saying much, considering how awful they were. Patrick Kane was able to tie the game at one just past the 90 second mark of the period, after one-timing a pass from Anisimov and into the Calgary net. The middle section of the period was a parade to the penalty box for the Hawks. The Flames would add another power play goal on one of those opportunities to give themselves a 2-1 lead. Even though the Hawks would have some good looks down the stretch, they couldn't solve Elliott, and would head into the second intermission down 2-1.

The third period turned out to be the complete opposite of the first period. In the final period of regulation, the Hawks dominated play, and peppered Brian Elliott with twelve shots, while holding the Flames to five. The Hawks got an early goal in the period when Brian Campbell tried to pass the puck to Artem Anisimov, but it was deflected into the net off a Calgary defenseman to tie the game at two. As time wound down, the Hawks had numerous chances, but Brian Elliott was able to stop all of them, and the game headed to overtime.

In overtime, had a great chance early on after getting a power play, thanks to a Michael Frolik penalty. While generating a couple of looks, the Hawks didn't do much with the opportunity, and for the second straight time the game headed to a shootout. Following thirteen straight saves by the goalies, Kris Versteeg put an end to the glorified skills competition, and Calgary skated away with the 3-2 shootout win.

The Good
  • The Hockey Fights Cancer ceremony before the game was a nice touch. Stick taps to the NHL for starting this program. 
  • The #AK72Line was the Hawks best line. They were on the ice for both of the Hawks goals. In recent games, this line has caught fire again, but much like last year, one line can't carry this team.
  • Corey Crawford was outstanding tonight. He was the only reason the Hawks had any chance of earning a point in the game. He flat out stood on his head in the first period.
  • Once again, the Hawks managed to find their game as the game went on, and stole a point when they really didn't deserve one. Unfortunately, this will get real tiresome, real quick.
  • While he was on the ice for the opening goal, I really didn't think Rozsival was that bad tonight as some will say. He's just a guy people. I'd also say get used to seeing him since Forsling went down tonight.
  • The Hawks best defenseman tonight was Duncan Keith. That's old news though. Maybe older than Rozsival.

The Bad
  • Just when you want to give praise to a guy, they go out and do something stupid. Case in point, Tyler Motte's first period penalty that led to the Flames opening goal.
  • Gustav Forsling left the game in the second period after taking a big hit. I'm glad hits mean nothing.
  • I'm pretty sure the sun will rise tomorrow even though Kris Versteeg scored the shootout winner. Calm down people. 
  • Speaking of the shootout, can we fucking stop with the baseball terms of  "extra innings," "top/bottom of the blank," and "lead off man?"

The Ugly
  • Another game, and another power play goal given up by the penalty kill. Going into the game, the only thing that might have been worse than the Hawks penalty kill, was the Calgary power play. This time, both of the Hawks defenders got caught below the goal line. I don't think I've seen a penalty kill that is so out of position and not on the same page. In all, both goals the Hawks gave up came while the Flames were on the power play. Terrific.
  • Once again, the Hawks came out flatter than a pancake. Thanks to their goalie, they were only down one after the first period.
  • Late in the first period, a horrendous change by Brian Campbell led to a Kris Versteeg breakaway that Crawford was able to stop. I think I speak for everyone when I say the second go around with Campbell isn't going so well.
  • The Hawks tried their best to piss away the game midway through the second period as #DickPanik and Panarin took inexcusable penalties.
  • Start the broken record of the "power was 0 for.... tonight." Tonight they were 0 for 2 and pissed away a great chance in overtime.
  • Hey Calgary, lets ditch this current jersey, and go back to the look of the 1980s. You know, the Mike Vernon look.
  • Want to see something really ugly? Look at Derek's timeline during tonight's game. BARF.

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Blackhawks vs. Maple Leafs
5-4 Shootout Win Recap

"So I Made A Big Mistake"

by Patrick Stankus

With all the eyes of Chicago focused on the north side of the city, the eyes of Canada were focused on The UC as the Blackhawks hosted the Maple Leafs on Saturday night. The Hawks returned home from Columbus, looking to avenge a 3-2 loss to the Blue Jackets on Friday night. With the Hawks in the middle of a 3 games in 4 nights stretch, Scott Darling got the nod in net. For any of you looking to start the "goalie controversy talk, I'll show you the door.

Unlike the start on Friday night, the Blackhawks came out with a bit of jump to their step. They were able to cash in on that start just under four minute mark. Artemi Panarin undressed Nazem Kadri and fed the puck to Anisimov, who one-timed it past Andersen to give the Hawks a 1-0 lead. As the period went on, the Hawks lost a good bit of that jump, and ended the period with just five shots on net. With the Hawks laboring down the stretch, the Leafs capitalized on their chances, and scored one of those dreaded goals in the last minute of the period to tie the game at one after 20 minutes.

As the second period got underway, the Blackhawks were looking for some sort of spark to get energy back into The UC. They got that break just under five minutes in with a power play opportunity. With the Hawks unable to capitalize on their power play, the momentum started to shift back in favor of the Leafs. The Leafs were able to cash in on their lone power play chance of the period to pull ahead 2-1. As time wound down, both teams would added another goal each, and after 40 minutes, the Leafs would lead the Hawks 3-2.

Once the puck dropped to start the third period, it was clear the Hawks were looking for anyway to generate chances. With the puck in the offensive zone, Niklas Hjalmarsson went to pinch in, but was caught in between and the Leafs went the other way. The Hawks defense left William Nylander wide open and he put the Leafs up by a 4-2 margin. While most people started to write this game in the loss column, the Hawks dug deep to try and mount a comeback. That comeback proved to be fast and furious. The Hawks scored two goals in a minute, in the final three minutes of the game to tie it and send us to overtime.

In overtime the Leafs tried every which way possible to hand the game to the Hawks by taking two penalties in the five minute period. Despite peppering shots towards the net, the Hawks couldn't manage to get one past Andersen and the game went to a shootout. In the shootout, Toews and Panarin scored for the Hawks, while Auston Matthews scored for the Leafs, and the Hawks skated away with a 5-4 shootout win.

The Good
  • How sick was that play by Panarin on Anisimov's goal? Seriously go pick up your jock Kadri. Not only was the move good, but the pass to Anisimov might have just as good, if not better.
  • #DickFuckingPanik tied the game with a net front presence goal late in the third period. I think I speak for most of us when I say this; THANKS TORONTO.
  • The #AK72Line had themselves a night. Anisimov had two goals, while Panarin had two assists and Kane had a helper. Remember when they had their slow start? Is their honeymoon over yet, or did it never end?
  • Tyler Motte scored for the second consecutive game. If there's one guy young on the team that I've been most impressed by, its Motte. He's got a good hockey sense.
  • It was nice to see the Hawks battle back all the way to the end and grind out a win, in a game they probably didn't deserve to win. I don't care if Toronto lacks the experience to close out games, you still have to battle for 60 minutes and the Hawks did that to get the game to overtime.

The Bad
  • The Hawks got their balls chopped off at the dot in the first period. Granted they got better as the game went, but the first period was definitely noticeable. 
  • Roman Polak absolutely lit up Dennis Rasmussen with a hit at center ice. Polak received an interference call on the play, which of course the Hawks couldn't score on.
  • Hjalmarsson's defense on Nylander's second goal was, uh, not good. He got caught flat footed and then seemed to glide back on defense.
  • You'd think the Hawks still had Kris Versteeg or Viktor Stalberg on the team with how many times they missed the net tonight. Worst part was most of the chances were clean looks too. You gotta be able to hit the net with chances like that. 
  • Nick Schmaltz looks lost out there.
  • I'd like to recap a game in which the Hawks don't give up a power play goal.

The Ugly
  • I'll probably take heat for this, but I don't care. The WGN telecast was a fucking disaster. There is absolutely no chemistry between Steve Konroyd and Lauren Magiera. Not to mention Magiera seemed like all she cared about was getting the game over with so she could watch the Cubs. And before you come at me for criticizing her, let me say this, Dan Roan isn't much better. Nor was Rich King. I get that there was a Cubs game tonight, but guess what? Some of use don't fucking care about baseball. It would have been a smart move by WGN to simulcast us the Hockey Night In Canada feed. 
  • Apparently Scott Darling thought he was Marty Turco tonight. Darling tried multiple times to handle the puck and it was an adventure to say the least. I don't know if he felt like he could handle the puck because he has red pads like Turco did, but for Christ's sake, leave the puck alone.
  • 0 for 6 on the power play. Let me repeat 0 for 6 on the power play. U-G-L-Y.
  • Shout out to all the assholes who left the game early that were seated in the 100 level. I'm glad the Hawks came back and you missed it. I don't want to hear the lame excuse of "the Cubs were on." Give me a break. You left because the Hawks were down two late in the game. Just admit it. 

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Blackhawks at Blue Jackets
3-2 Loss Recap

"I'm The Man In The Box"

by Patrick Stankus

The Blackhawks traveled to Nationwide Arena on Friday night, site of the first ever Puckin' Hostile Road Trip, and Derek's first taste of beer last season, to take on the Columbus Blue Jackets. Friday marked the beginning of 3 games in 4 nights for the Hawks, which will see them return home for an Original Six tilt with the Toronto Maple Leafs. First things first though, they have a game with the Blue Jackets to look forward to.

The Blackhawks came out of the gate with the infamous sleepwalking look to themselves. The Jackets dominated play, but luckily for the Hawks, their goalie was there to bail them out. Crawford made a handful of spectacular saves on Brandon Saad *sigh*, to keep the Jackets off the board. Halfway through the period, Columbus would get the game's first goal on the power play following a Michal Kempny penalty. As the horn sounded ending the period, the Hawks would only trail Columbus 1-0 despite yielding 17 shots.

In the second period, the Hawks came out with a bit more jump to their step, although that's not saying much when comparing it to the first period. Tyler Motte scored his first career goal just over two minutes in to tie the game. That lead was short-lived as the Hawks went back on the PK, and shockingly, Columbus was able to score another power play goal to put them up 2-1. The Jackets weren't done scoring in the period, as they added another with just over 5 minutes remaining to take a 3-1 lead into the dressing room after 40 minutes.

As the third period got underway, the Blackhawks looked like a completely different team. They put that sense of urgency to use and cut the Jackets lead to one. #DickFuckingPanik, who continues to look like Denis Savard, added his 5th goal of the young season. The Hawks mounted a ferocious attack at the Jackets net, but that was as close as they'd get as they fell to Columbus by the final score of 3-2. Its a quick turnaround for the Hawks as they face the Maple Leafs at home on Saturday night on Hockey Night In Canada. It should be fun to watch Auston Matthews skate circles around this defense and PK.

The Good
  • Tyler Motte scored his first career goal. Congrats kid, but lets work on those PK skills now.
  • How about #DickFuckingPanik? Panik increased his goal total to 5 on the year, and added an assist. But yes, he's completely useless. Excuse me while I smash my head against the wall. 
  • You let the Columbus Blue Jackets  outwork you. Do you really think you're getting anymore in the good category Slackhawks?

The Bad
  • I won't sugarcoat it. Marcus Kruger has to be better. He's been a step slow when it comes to getting into the shooting lanes on the PK, and its been costing the Hawks. This should be somewhat expected now that he's carrying that big bag of money on his back. I mean its not quite #ToewsMoney, but still.
  • Marian Hossa missed tonight's game with a lower body injury. His ass better be back on Saturday. I won't be able to take this 7 defensemen shit anymore.
  • The Hawks only had 9 blocks tonight. You guys might want to put yourselves in the shooting lanes a little more.
  • Patrick Kane played nearly 29 minutes. That is not a joke. And its also a problem.
  • Did you guys know Jordin Tootoo plays for the Blackhawks?

The Ugly
  • Q was being Q with the lineup during the pregame. The question we all had was, "will Brian Campbell be in the lineup or not?" Well that question was answered when he was penciled in at left wing. My God, I cannot begin to tell you how much I fucking hate dressing 7 defensemen. Stop being cute with your lineups asshole. Be normal. Dress 12 forwards and 6 defensemen. Stop trying to be Patrick Roy. There's only room for one of those ballbags in the NHL. And give it time, Roy will be back. In the mean time Q, don't stoop to that level. You're better than that.
  • For Christ's sake, the penalty kill is beyond awful. Its probably as bad as the pilot training in Russian aviation. Tonight the PK gave up goals on both of Columbus' power play chances. Keep it up boys.
  • The power play was 0 for 4 tonight. Enough said. Special teams aren't so special right now.
  • See Michal Kempny. The impressive meter is falling fast. Actually was it ever really impressive?
  • Everyone's favorite scapegoat TvR left the game with an apparent arm injury. Its likely he'll be out for awhile. I'm guessing the time frame of the World Series, so he returns when the spotlight is back on hockey in the winter, and more people can bitch about him.
  • I love when a team that hasn't played since Tuesday comes out flat, don't you? Nothing like giving up 17 shots in the first period.
  • And just for all of you that hate him, enjoy this:

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Blackhawks vs Flyers
7-4 Win Recap

"Seventh Son of a Seventh Son"

by Gatekeeper

With the weekend #PanikAttack over, it was time to come back down to earth, Tuesday night. The Blackhawks welcomed the Flyers from that always fair and rational city of Philly. Coming into this contest, the Blackhawks were a very mediocre 1-2-0 thanks to some growing pains. The problem is that the kids weren't the ones really struggling for this team, it was the veterans. Richard Panik lead the team and was tied for the NHL lead with 4 goals, as well as 5th in the lead in points with 5, coming into the game. Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane, Marian Hossa, and Artemi Panarin had a combined zero goals and 6 points. This is a problem. We all figured that the big names would be the ones coming off the World Cup of Hockey hitting the ground running at full speed and carrying the team, but we couldn't have been more wrong. Alas, this is only 3 games, but some of these big names need to start doing a little more scoring and less fighting ballbag opponents. Is that too much to ask? They have a midget wearing number 22 that can eat fists and sit out for 5 minutes at a crack, or for the entire game for all I care. Knock off the bullshit shenanigans, El Capitan.

Speaking of shenanigans, there were many empty seats in the United Center due to some fucking baseball game that wasn't a clinching or World Series game. Whatever.

Good thing for those that actually showed up in person for this game, the Blackhawks took a quick 1-0 lead and seemed like they were not going to look back. When the clock reached zeros, heading into the first intermission, the Blackhawks were sitting pretty with a comfortable 3-0 lead. The shots on net were actually fairly close, even though the Blackhawks had a slight 11-8 advantage. Powerplays were also even, with each team getting awarded one. The Hawks 3rd goal was on their lone powerplay.

The second period wasn't quite as eventful, but the one event which was most interesting to Blackhawks fans was Marian Hossa's 500th goal. Hossa was the 7th player to get his 500th as a Blackhawk, hence the title. While Cubs fans were whining and pouting about the Dodgers thoroughly kicking their ass, a beloved Blackhawks player was collecting a career milestone. The Blackhawks still held the shot advantage at 22-18, out shooting the Flyers 11-10 in the second. The only bad part of the period was the Philly powerplay goal. The penalty kill took yet another hit.

The Blackhawks third period could best be described as nauseous. The Hawks blew their lead by giving up 3 goals in roughly three minutes, and it looked like the Cubbie faithful were going to be the only red assed fans in Chicago this night. It kind of felt like the Hawks were going to completely choke when all of a sudden they opened that fresh wound right back up, and performed open heart surgery on the Flyers. Three Blackhawks goals in the final ten minutes were more than enough to come away with a big 7-4 win. Just ask Artem Anisimov what he thought of the win and the young rookie defensemen on the team, would you Jammer?:

The Good
  • Fifty six seconds into the game a really nice, and patient, Artem Anisimov rush up the ice turned into a Patrick Kane goal. Anisimov pulled a Maverick on a defender and the defender flew right by. He sized up Michal Neuvirth, but the Flyer goaler made the save with the puck squirting right by the left post. Patrick Kane picked up the loose puck and his wrap around attempt went off Neuvirth's skate and into the net.
  • With two and a half minutes left in the first period, Flyers rookie defenseman Ivan Provorov picked up a puck at his own blue line and blew a Michelin, ending up on his can. The Moose on the Loose, Dennis Rasmussen, picked up the puck with a clean path to the net. Rasmussen made a nice backhand move and then went 5-hole on Neuvirth to give the Blackhawks a 2-0 lead.
  • Just thirty three seconds after the Rasmussen goal, Shayne Gostisbehere took a penalty for closing his hand on the puck, and the Blackhawks took advantage. The Hawks wasted little time, specifically thirteen seconds, scoring on the resulting powerplay. Brent Seabrook located Artemi Panarin completely across the ice with his stick cocked and hit him for a one timer past Neuvirth, and a Blackhawks 3-0 lead.
  • Five minutes into the second period Marian Hossa cut up the right side of the ice, on the powerplay, and beat Michal Neuvirth for his 500th career goal. I have no idea what the hell Neuvirth was doing on the play, but he gave Hossa far too much net from that angle. Either way, Hossa got the 500th monkey off his back. I'm so glad it wasn't some shitty open net goal, like they tried to do the other night. Great moment for a great guy.

  • After blowing their 4-0 lead, the Blackhawks grabbed the lead back courtesy of the #AK72 line. Claude Giroux gave the puck up in the neutral zone, and the play turned into a Kane-to-Panarin-to-Anisimov goal just seconds later.
  • With just under four minutes remaining in the game, the Flyers Provorov made another rookie mistake turning the puck over to Patrick Kane. Kane led a 2-on-1 with Artemi Panarin, and Steve Mason never stood chance. Kane floated a pass into Panarin's wheelhouse, and Panarin made absolutely no mistaken with another one timer.
  • I have to admit that I really like Michal Neuvirth. He has never really had a chance with a quality defense in front of him, and has carried the Flyers to wins, more than a few times. While Mason is also part of the "Wrong Handed Goalie Club", I have never been a huge fan. Of course this would be the game that Neuvirth gets pulled.

The Bad
  • A late second period Patrick Kane penalty, ended up turning into a Matt Read powerplay goal. Jake Voracek actually messed up and missed the net but the puck caromed behind the net and came out on the other side. Matt Read had gaping net, and did not miss.

The Ugly
  • Provorov eating shit and handing Rasmussen a goal was pretty comical. Welcome to the show, kid.
  • Thirty seven seconds into the third period, and Matt Read cut the Blackhawks lead to 2 goals. Read planted his ass on the back side as Claude Giroux looked to go behind the net. Giroux dumped the puck to Read, who was able to put it over Crawford, but the Blackhawks were still up 4-2 right? No problem, right?
  • A minute and seventeen seconds after the second Read goal, Sean Couturier made a nice move on Crawford and cut the Blackhawks lead to just one goal. Queue a timeout by Dr. Lineblender.
  • That timeout did little to stop the Flyers momentum, after a Michal Kempny high sticking penalty just about two minutes after the Couturier goal. Wayne Simmonds was the game tying goal scorer, and we back to even. Brutal series of goals against for the Blackhawks.
  • After Hossa scored his 500th goal, he was hurt blocking a shot and wasn't able to finish the game.
  • The Blackhawks penalty kill was, and continues to be, a flaming bag of dog shit.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • The #AK72 line had a helluva night, potting 4 of the 7 goals. Not only that, but their overall CORSI percentages all between 60% and 69%.
  • Jonathan Toews, #DickFuckingPanik and Tyler Motte, well, not so much. They were the worst on the team, all in the low 40s.
  • Oddly enough, Marian Hossa was the team worst CORSI at 23%

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Motte - Toews - Panik
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Hinostroza - Schmaltz - Hossa
Rasmussen - Kruger - Tootoo

Hjalmarsson - Keith
Kempny - Seabrook
Forsling - Campbell


Sunday, October 16, 2016

Blackhawks vs. Predators
5-3 Win Recap

"I Bet You Got Me Wrong"

by Patrick Stankus

The Blackhawks traveled back home late last night in order to complete their home and home series against the Nashville Predators. Gate was so kind to give me the keys to Puckin' Hostile for this series while he's off playing with lizards at some sort of expo that you should definitely go check out. Shameless plug, my apologies. With the majority of Chicago busy watching people play catch, smart money is on the Hawks breaking their slump with no one seeing it, aside from the hockey addicts.

When the puck dropped the Predators came out looking like a team that was ready to play. The Hawks however weathered the storm and the momentum turned in their favor. With Scott Darling playing out of his mind at the other end, the Hawks offense came to live. The Hawks tallied 3 goals in just under 4 minutes, to give them a 3-0 lead just 10 minutes into the game. As the period wound down, Jordin Tootoo took a bad penalty, and the momentum turned in favor of the Predators. With the period winding down, the Preds would get on the board, and trail the Hawks 3-1 after 20 minutes.

The second began with the same tone of the first period. The teams traded momentum runs that resembled that of a playoff game. Midway through the period, the Hawks had a couple of good looks, but couldn't increase their lead. Late in the period, Artem Anisimov took a hooking penalty and put the Hawks shorthanded. Much like Seabrooks power play goal in the first, the Predators wasted little time in making the Hawks pay for it, as they cut the lead to 3-2. As time wound down in the period, Darling made a couple of saves to keep the lead in favor of the Hawks after 40 minutes.

The final period was full of entertainment, much the first two periods. The Hawks had an early power play that they were able to take advantage of. It looked as if Marian Hossa had scored his 500th career goal, but instead it was #DickPanik who hammered home a loose puck in the crease to give the Hawks a two goal lead again. That lead was short lived, as the Predators capitalized on Brian Campbell doing everything but play defense, and cut the lead to one. As the game wound down, the Hawks held off the Preds, and #Dick Panik added an empty netter to complete the hat trick and give the Hawks a 5-3 win.

The Good
  • I think we need to change the #DickPanik name to #DickFuckingPanik. What a game for #14. Panik netted his first career hat trick tonight, and his first goal of the night was a thing of beauty. Keep telling me he won't get 15-20 goals this years.
  • Nick Schmaltz scored his first career goal tonight. Aside from that, he was kind of 'meh' the rest of the night, but he deserves the mention for his memorable night.
  • The power play was 2 for 3 tonight. That's not something we're used to. I'll take that.
  • While the initial start wasn't ideal, the Hawks woke up early enough before they dug themselves into a hole. They simply blew the doors off Nashville in the middle part of the 1st period.
  • Its amazing what winning a draw can do for you. On Seabrook's goal, Toews won the draw, the Hawks cycled the puck back to the point and magically the puck ended up in the back of the net.
  • Scott Darling had a solid night in net. He saved 33 of 36 shots en route to the win. And I'll answer your question, NO.
  • I guess only taking two penalties is a positive, especially when your PK is struggling.

The Bad
  • Already there's people freaking out about Panarin's slow start. Relax people, its three games.
  • Some have been impressed with Michal Kempny through three games, but I'm not one of them. I think he's been alright. He made an ill advised decision to go for a hit when he had no support and it led to a Predators goal. Its a work in process I guess.
  • I'm still trying to figure out what the hell Brian Campbell was doing on Arvidsson's goal.
  • Speaking of Campbell, he and Forsling certainly weren't the best duo on the ice tonight.
  • Yielding 36 shots and getting a win is playing with fire. You'd like to see the defense clamp down a little more.

The Ugly
  • With how bad the first two games were, let leave it with nothing in the ugly category. Lets be positive tonight.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Blackhawks at Predators
3-2 Loss Recap

"Scary's On His Way"

by Patrick Stankus

On Friday night the Blackhawks took to the road for the first time of the 2016-17 in the first of a home and home matchup with the Nashville Predators. The Hawks were coming off an opening night loss to the Blues in which their special teams, mainly the PK didn't look so special. Its hard to say that the first weekend of a season is important, but for the sake of all the new faces on this team, the Hawks can't afford to dig themselves too big of a hole early on. If that does happen, Lord only knows how bad Q's ulcers will flare up later in the season.

Once the puck dropped in Nashville, the Hawks did their best to silence the crowd. Just over two minutes in, Marcus Kruger put the Hawks on the board first, with his first goal of the season. Nashville however answered back 5 minutes later, as P.K. Subban added his first goal as a Predator, on the power play to tie the game at one. The blueline scoring theme continued in the first as Niklas Hjalmarsson and Roman Josi traded goals in the final 11 minutes of the period. Despite being out shot 11-5 in the period, the Hawks would head into the intermission tied at two.

The second period would take on a different tone than that of the first period. Instead of four goals, we were treated to two fights, one involving Captain Jonathan Toews. One theme that continued for the Hawks in the period was that of their parade to the penalty box. Anisimov took two penalties in the period, one of which the Preds cashed in on to take a 3-2 lead. After 40 minutes, the Predators held the lead in shots (21-11) and on the scoreboard, with the 3-2 lead.

In the final frame, the Hawks finally showed some sort of urgency in their game by peppering Pekka Rinne with 13 shots. Rinne however had the answer for all of them. His save of the game came on Vinnie Hinostroza late in the game. The defense finally clamped down on the Preds and held them to just 6 shots. However it was all for not as the Predators hung on for the 3-2 lead. Its a quick turnaround for both teams, as they'll travel to Chicago overnight to complete the home and home series on Saturday night.

The Good
  • You're goddamn right Marcus Kruger scoring a goal for the first time since April of 2015 is going in the good category. I just hope Brian Hedger was able to see it.
  • Kruger scoring wasn't the only shock on the scoresheet for the Hawks. Niklas Hjalmarsson also scored in his season debut, after being suspended for the opener.
  • Everyone got their wish on defense, as TVR was a healthy scratch. Now if Q will just play him on the bottom pair where he belongs.

The Bad
  • The second period saw two Blackhawks players drop the gloves. Jordin Tootoo being one wasn't surprising, but Jonathan Toews being the other was. I didn't have a problem with the Tootoo fight as it came after Anthony Bitetto took a run at Patrick Kane. I get that fight. The Toews fight however I could live without. Yes, we all know James Neal is a ballbag, but I don't need to see Toews drop the gloves because he got slashed. Let your face punchers on the team handle that.
  • The Hawks tried their best to hand this game to the Preds in the first period. Nashville out shot the Hawks by a 11-5 margin and also had 3 power play opportunities.
  • If we're going to take the Derek approach when it comes to judging a goalie (see his tweets about Rinne during World Cup of Hockey) then after tonight I have to say Pekka Rinne is the best goalie in the world. Okay, see how bat shit crazy that sounds? Nevertheless Rinne was great in net for the Preds tonight. Which if he can return to that solid form all season, that could spell trouble for the Central Division.
  • Ryan Hartman left the game after getting his leg tangled up. After the game Q said Hartman "will miss some time". Would the next Andrew Shaw clone please stand up?

The Ugly
  • Someone please inform the Predators they are not the Los Angeles Kings. Only one team is allowed in the NHL to rock the yellow lids, and its the Kings when they wear the throwbacks.
  • After two games, its no time to panic, but holy shit the penalty kill is awful. Tonight they yielded three goals  to the Predators. Terrific. I guess the only positive is, it can only get better from here right?
  • Seeing Ryan Johansen have 3 assists flat out made me want to vomit.
  • The power play for the Hawks was just as bad as the penalty kill tonight. The power play ended the night a solid 0-4.
  • THIS......


Thursday, October 13, 2016

Blackhawks vs Blues
5-2 Loss Recap

"Lesson Learned"

by Gatekeeper

The Blackhawks began what one could only predict as a tumultuous season, Wednesday night, against the same team that they ended last season as well as this preseason against. Those pesky and wretched St. Louis Blues. While I certainly hated the Red Wings (how can you not?), I had to respect their success. The Blues and their fans demand respect, but have earned none of it. Typical of this great unwashed Blues fan base we have been saddled with. All that said, we have been presented the freshest Blackhawks roster in recent memory. This is both a blessing and curse. We could be watching the next generation of Blackhawks regulars emerge, or we could be watching the next crop of colossal Blackhawks failures. Call it ignorance or blind faith, but I'm going to suggest that we all have an open outlook until given some concrete doom and gloom. That said, I'm not going to predict a certain dominant regular season followed by a cruise through the playoffs and sweep of the Stanley Cup final. We're going to see some struggling, especially early in the season. Just hang on to your asses, fans. It's not time to #DickPanik, just yet.

The Blackhawks opened up their play and looked fairly promising for most the first period, even though the Blues out shot them 9-6. Of course, it certainly doesn't hurt your chances to look good when you take quick 1-0 lead. The kids had a little spring in their step, and the vets looked happy to be back. I could have done without some of the big chances against but we'll take what we can get, right? Not so fast, Kemosabe.

The Blackhawks second period was a different story for the men in red. The Blues absolutely dominated the entire period, out shooting the Hawks an incredible (and embarrassing) 15-3. Luckily for the home team, they only surrendered one goal, and managed to score on one of their 3 shots. They certainly tried their damnedest to give the Blues the lead, though. Quite frankly, the Hawks play was embarrassing, save for their one goal. There is no excuse to be dominated like that, at home.

The embarrassment continued and rolled right on in to the third period for the Slackhawks. They gave up an early powerplay goal on the remaining penalty time which rolled over from the infraction filled second period, and then gave up two late empty net goals. Shots were actually only 10-10, because the Hawks actually mounted some late pressure but it did them no good. There is still a long way to go, but this game wasn't exactly the most memorable or promising season openers. Hell, they were out scored by some kid with Toronto that scored 4 goals in his NHL debut. We all need to forget about this one, in fact.

The Good
  • First goal of the season was by my guy, #DickPanik! After I spent a good 10 minutes the night before, on the Shoutcast, talking about fans irrational hate of the guy, he opens up the 2016 season with the first goal. To reel this back in, lets not forget that players like Brandon Bollig have had the same distinction. The bar is low. Give the man his credit, though. Panik did exactly what I said he needed to do weeks ago, which is JUST NOT FUCK UP. He planted his as in the slot and picked up a Toews rebound with a gaping net in front of him. ON THE POWER PLAY, no less. Tell me, again, how he isn't going to be able to put in 30-35 points. He clearly has to work on those multiple, blind turnovers to opponents in the slot, but you can bet Quenneville won't let him forget those anytime soon.
  • It was nice to see Brent Seabrook get called out for some good plays in the first period, rather just than his contract. He ended up with the most shifts and, consequently, led the Blackhawks in time on ice. Maybe the smarmy crabasses will lay off him for bit. I still love the guy, and I'm not afraid to admit it.
  • This new third line gave the Blues fits, for a short time at least, with about 6 minutes left in the second period. Their hard work led to Ryan Hartman's first NHL goal and Tyler Motte's first NHL point. Hartman and Motte just used their youthful hustle to out work the Blues in their own zone. It needs to be pointed out, because scoreless narratives, that a timely #ScorelessMarcusKruger stick check was what led to Motte driving the puck in front of the net, and eventually to Ryan Hartman.
  • Corey Crawford didn't have a terrible night. He saved 29 of 32, and kept the Blackhawks close until the final minutes.
  • It took Quenneville all of 40 minutes into the new season to move Artemi Panarin up with Jonathan Toews and Marian Hossa. I've been saying this should happen for 2 months, but lets all now act surprised.
  • I did not hate the wing duo of Tyler Motte and Ryan Hartman. They seemed to have some good speed and a little agitation factor. I'm curious to see how this works itself out, because Hartman certainly has that ability to go full meatball, much like his predecessor Andrew Shaw. Again, I'm open minded. Ride it out for a few games.

The Bad
  • A second period Trevor Van Riemsdyk penalty turned into the game tying goal, about 5 minutes in to the middle period. Kevin ShitInPants was given far too much time and space to unleash a wicked one timer, and Brian Campbell severely screened Corey Crawford. You could tell by Crawford's reaction that he didn't see it at all.
  • The completely baffling need for Joel Quenneville to dress a hammer throwing bum, and then nail the guy to the bench in any important part of the game just makes you want to chuck a bud light from the 300 level into Joel Quenneville's general direction. Jordin Tutu barely saw the ice all night, and finished with a grand total of 4:26. Almost every second of those four minutes and twenty six seconds were in the first two periods. He played one 19 second shift in the third. WHY? What is the point?
  • While we're talking about ice time, Nick Schmaltz, folks. May the Schmaltz be with you, right? He played a grand total of 8:51 with that "almost unplayable" 4th line. Vinny Hinostroza played 7:47. Ryan Hartman only played 8:33, but made the most of his limited time. I say "almost unplayable" because Jordin Tutu is useless, and you have 2 rookies that are trying to get their NHL footing. You're throwing 3 guys out there that all need some support, and none of them can support each other. Schmaltz and Hinostroza need to have talent with them. The 4th line is honestly just Quenneville saying, "Who's left? OK, the rest of you guys just get out there for 35 seconds". This is going to be the most painful part of the season.

The Ugly
  • Right off the bat, they screwed up the mic level on the anthem. You had ONE JOB!
  • This was not Trevor Van Riemsdyk's best night, to put it lightly. In all fairness, Joel Quenneville played him way out of position. Might as well put him at first line left wing, for fuck's sakes. How does everyone but Quenneville realize this guy is just a number 6 defenseman? That said, Van Riemsdyk did himself no favors by also taking a late penalty in the third. If Q plays Van Riemsdyk on the top pair again, someone needs to knock him out with a shovel and hope he ends up with amnesia. Put the guy where he belongs. Bottom pair, sheltered minutes and not too many defensive zone starts. Quantum physics this is not.
  • The Blackhawks absolutely fell apart at the end of the second period. They put themselves down 5-on-3 with some sloppy play and were on yet another delayed penalty when Vlady Tarasenko beat Corey Crawford to tie the game. The worst part of the entire situation is that the Blues remained on the 2 man advantage because of the delayed penalty. The only saving grace was the fact that the intermission mercifully came. If you have a 5-on-3 and the goalie pulled for another delayed penalty and you don't score, it should be a shock.
  • Just a minute into the third period, the Blues picked up where the second period ended. Paul Stastny whacked a rebound past Corey Crawford for a 3-2 Blues lead and they never lost the lead again. What do you really expect when you take three penalties in the matter of 3 minutes?
  • Of all the bad, the worst might have been the final minute or so. The Blackhawks gave up not, but TWO empty net goals. That is not even the worst part of it. The last goal was Brent Seabrook and Duncan Keith combining to score on their own net. Just perfect. Like a perfect horse's ass. This is another coaching decision I never bought into. If you give up an empty net goal, just throw the goalie back out there and admit defeat. Instead, Quenneville left Crawford on the bench and it turned into the Benny Hill show.
  • This; just because:

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • Not only did Jordin Tutu and Nick Schmaltz bring up the bottom or the Blackhawks CORSI, but there wasn't a single offensive shot created which them on the ice. Ten against. WOOF!
  • As odd as this sounds, Campbell, Panarin, Hossa, Toews, Forsling, Panik and Kane all had CORSI over 56%. I guess it all evens out when you have numbers like 0%, 0%, 7%, 19% and 25% at the bottom. We all thought it was going to be a top heavy lineup, but yikes!

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Panik - Toews - Hossa
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Motte - Kruger - Hartman
Hinostroza - Schmaltz - Tootoo

Keith - van Riemsdyk
Kempny - Seabrook
Forsling - Campbell


Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast
Episode 67

In this 67th Puckin Hostile Shoutcast (the Tanner Kero episode) Gatekeeper, Pat, and Derek are joined by Greg Boysen from LetsGoHawk.net (among others) to talk about the upcoming 2016-17 Blackhawks season.

The panel discuss the following:
-Apparently there was a baseball game on, somewhere.
-The joke that the department of player safety has reverted back into.
-Barret Jackman retires
-Injuries to Sidney Crosby and Jonathan Huberdeau, among others
-World Cup of Money finally ends
-Hoopla over Connor McClavicle becoming captain in Edmonton.
-Blackhawks signings, roster moves, opening night lineups
-The preseason comes and goes
-Dat Stan Bowman stinks, he couldn't get dat Nails guy.
-Hjalmarsson suspension
-6 Rookies make the opening night roster
-Stop the #DickPanik and TvR hate!
-And of course, as always, an abundance of extremely inappropriate references and jokes in incredibly bad taste

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link: iTunes

Get the Shoutcast directly though Soundcloud here:

For all your custom jersey needs visit Black and Tan Sports at:


Saturday, October 8, 2016

Preseason: IceHawks at St. Louis
2-1 Loss Recap

"Over Now"

by Gatekeeper

Game 2 of the the NLDS, or the final Blackhawks preseason game?

The Blackhawks, of course.

Speaking of the Blackhawks, they were in St. Louis to wrap up this year's preseason. They sent a young skeleton squad south, just in case the thug squad wanted to throw on their clown shoes and start taking cheap shots, so let's call them the IceHawks (because BlackHogs might bring up some unsavory comparisons). We all saw what happened a week ago, so it's not a reach to think it could happen again. After this one, the Blackhawks have about 3 days to get their roster straightened out. As insignificant as this game might seem, this may be what makes or breaks some of the kids for the start of the regular season.

The first period was, as expected, a snoozer. The IceHawks looked over matched right off the bat, but only went into the first intermission down 1-0. The tale of the shots told a better story, where the Blues out shot the IceHawks 11-6. This certainly looked like it was going to be a long boring game.

The only thing that made the second period any more interesting than the insufferable first, was the Blackhawks tying the game. That was basically the only interesting moment of this period. In fact, the second period was WORSE than the first. Both teams COMBINED for nine shots. NINE! If you say I'm salty because I had to sit through this one and recap it, you'd be completely right. I hate baseball, and I would have rather watched the Cubs. Anywho, one more period to go.

The third period, predictably, wasn't any better. The Blues took a 2-1 lead, and the game should have just ended right there. The game came to a merciful ending at 9:30 and it wasn't a second too soon. Now we have 3 days to get this roster straight.

The Good
  • Three minutes into the second period, the Blackhawks scored in very similar fashion to the way the Blues did in the first. Dennis Rasmussen won a faceoff back to Trevor Van Riemsdyk let a long show go. Rasmussen slightly redirected the shot and it went off a Blues defender past Hutton. So, the 4th line avenges themselves.

The Bad
  • I haven't a fucking clue why there is such irrational hate for #DickPanik. Guy has been Frolik v2.0. He plays in all situations, and he's cheap. He can move up and down the lineup, and could very reasonably contribute the 30 points that Yakupov has peaked at, for a fraction of the cap hit. Also, as I mentioned on Twitter, I loved Michael Frolik, but he played a max of 63 games and had a max of 15 points. That's not going to be hard for Panik to reach. He's a useful, affordable, and very versatile player. No one should expect him to become Artemi Panarin, but doing all the things Frolik did is important and something he can do. Embrace that, for fuck sakes.
  • It didn't even take more than seven minutes for the Blues to finally take a lead. Quite frankly, I'm surprised that it took that long. Dennis Rasmussen lost a defensive zone faceoff cleanly, and Vlad Tarasenko snapped it over Crawford.
  • Early in the second period, Alexandre Fortin was a little too non-chalant in his own zone and had his pocket picked, pretty embarrassingly. Thank god, Crawford bailed him out. The really nice part was that he turned around and hustled his ass off to get in position for a 2-on-1 with #DickPanik on the other end. If not for a nice Carter Hutton save, he would have had himself a nice back door goal and a two goal swing.
  • With four minutes gone in the third period, Alex Pietrangelo squeezed a shot through Crawford on the powerplay. For the second time Gustav Forsling LOOKED like a 20 year old defenseman. He put in a half assed effort when faced with Pietrangelo and basically abandoned ship. This gave the Blues defenseman a clean look on Crawford. The very next shift he had his pocket picked deep in his own zone again. Later in the third he practically handed Tarasenko a breakaway.
  • The Blues had 11 shots in the first period and 10 the rest of the way. Just goes to show that neither team really cared.
  • Andrew Desjardins apparently hurt himself blocking a shot in the third period. No word on the extent of the injury.

The Ugly
  • The game wasn't five minutes old and the trio of Van Riemsdyk, Pokka, and Forsling all got walked like they were standing still. There is your defensive youth movement.
  • Jake Allen was hurt in the first period when his own player fell on his ankle and did not come out for the second. Carter Hutton finished the game.
  • I know John Jaeckel was all about Mark McNeill but, personally, I just don't see it. To score like 25 goals in the AHL twice with his size and strength, and look so underwhelming in the NHL defies all logic. Just another wasted Blackhawks first round draft pick. Why couldn't they have sold Montreal on HIM? When you have a hard time beating out Brandon Manshitter and Jordin Tutu, you're a bad fucking player.

The Lineblender
Fortin - Schmaltz - Panik
Motte - Kruger - Hartman
Hinostroza - Desjardins - Tootoo
Mashinter - Rasmussen - McNeill

Kempny - Rozsival
Pokka - Forsling
Svedgroot - van Riemsdyk


Friday, October 7, 2016

Puckin Hostile
NHL 17 Blackhawks Roster Guide

Hello, NHL 17 fans. First of all, I'd like to take a second to plug the Special Puckin Hostile Shoutcast last week, where we discussed EA Sports NHL 17. Big Chris and I mentioned some Blackhawks roster issues, so I sat down with the latest roster update on 9/21 and tried to wade through the Blackhawks organization.

These are the most obvious roster moves and adjustments. These are just suggestions,

Blackhawks Moves
Erik Gustsafson - Blackhawks - Move to RFD
Jay Harrison - Rockford - Send to Winnipeg
Michal Kempny - Rockford - Change to 82 ovr and send to Blackhawks
Robin Norell - Djurgarden (SHL) - Move to RFD
Robin Press - Djurgarden (SHL) - Can Move to RFD
John Dahlstrom - Frolunda (SHL) - Can Move to RFD
Lars Johansson - Frolunda (SHL) - Increase from 70 to 75, move to RFD
Carl Dahlstrom - Linkoping (SHL) - Move to RFD
Gustav Forsling - Linkoping (SHL) - Increase to 75, move to RFD or CHI
Mathias From - Rogle (SHL) - Possible move to RFD
Martin Lundberg - Skelleftea (SHL) - Move to RFD
Joni Tuulola - Hameenlinna HPK (Liiga) - Possible move to RFD
Radovan Bondra - Vancouver Giants (WHL) - Possible move to RFD
Alex Debrincat - Erie Otters (OHL) - Possible move to RFD
Graham Knott - Niagra IceHogs (OHL) - Possible move to RFD
Nathan Noel - St Johns Seadogs (QMJHL) - Possible move to RFD
Roy Radke - Barrie Colts (OHL) - Possible move to RFD
Alexandre Fortin - Rouen-Normandy Huskies (QMJHL) - Increase to low 70s ovr, Possible move to RFD or Chi
Nick Schmaltz - NONE - Create possible 75 ovr, and to RFD or CHI
Tyler Motte - NONE - Create possible 75 ovr, and to RFD or CHI

NHL Moves
Jesse Puljujarvi - Oulun Karpat (Liiga) - Move to EDM
Patrick Laine - Tampereen Tappara (Liiga) - Move to WIN
Auston Mathews - ZCS Lions (National) - Move to TOR
Mitch Marner - London Knights (OHL) - Move to TOR

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Preseason: Blackhawks vs Red Wings
6-1 Win Recap

"Your Decision"

by Patrick Stankus

The Blackhawks rolled into the home stretch of their preseason on the ass end of a Red Wings "home and home" series, Tuesday night. This lineup would look more like an NHL lineup than the collection of toddlers that they rolled out Sunday evening. Corey Crawford and Duncan Keith were in the lineup for the first time, which could only help the Blackhawks chances. Young phenoms Alexandre Fortin and Gustav Forsling were in the lineup, again, proving that the coaching staff really wants to take a long look at what the future holds for them. It's nice to see some young players show promise. More than we can say for most recent Hawks draft picks, eh?

The Blackhawks actually resembled an NHL team which made the game a lot easier to enjoy, and two first period goals were a big part of that. The Hawks lines had some new names sprinkled in, but plenty of familiar ones were involved in the action. Duncan Keith and Andrew Desjardins had primary assists in both of the goals. The Blackhawks also doubled up the Wings in shots 12-6, as well as powerplays 2-1. Funny how the team plays so much better when Kane, Keith, and Crawford are on the ice, eh?

When the puck dropped on the second period, the Puckin' Hostile Crew made a change on the recap. #Fatrick picked up his regularly scheduled recap duties from Gate, and thus the recap will probably go to hell in a hand basket. Can you tell the difference? Anyway early in the period, the Hawks would receive another power play courtesy of another Jonathan Ericsson penalty. While the first unit had some good looks, it was the second unit that cashed in to increase the lead to 3-0. Midway through the period, the Hawks would make a change in net, as Scott Darling would takeover for Corey Crawford. Darling would yield a goal to see the Wings cut the lead to 3-1, but Nick Schmaltz would add his first goal of the preseason, giving the Hawks a 4-1 lead after two periods.

The third period was, lets be honest, not entertaining. The Hawks completely dominated the play throughout the final frame. In the period, the Hawks out shot the Wings by a 10-3 margin. Following a nice chip n' chase by Ryan Hartman, Alexandre Fortin would tally his second goal of the preseason to give the Hawks a 5-1 lead. The Hawks however weren't done scoring. Late in the period, while on the power play, Gustav Forsling had a beautiful shot pass, that Artem Anisimov redirected past Jimmy Howard to give a 6-1 lead, which would prove to be the final score.

The Good
  • Five minutes into the first period, and Duncan Keith was right in the middle of the Blackhawks first goal. A long Keith shot into traffic didn't make it to the net, but it did drop a few feet out. Ryan, or as Foley called him "Mike", Hartman spun around and smacked the loose puck past Jimmie Howard. After a pretty "Meh" camp, he finally had the spotlight. If I can have Hartman over Mashinter or Tootoo, I'm taking it. Otherwise, I don't see a use for him.
  • Late in the first period, Andrew Desjardins found himself with the puck on his stick at the left circle. His shot changed direction when it went off the shin pad of Vinny Hinostroza and squirted right between Howards pads. Two early Hawks goals, by two young players looking to stick around.
  • It was refreshing to see a defenseman rush the puck up the ice like Brian Campbell did on the Hawks power play goal in the second period. Fortin took the puck from Campbell, and made a slick pass to #DickPanik, who buried it. Please tell me this is a sign of things to come with the power play.
  • Nick Schmaltz scored his first goal of the preseason off a redirect of an Artemi Panarin bomb. It was nice to see Schmaltz score, but I'm fearing all the meatballs will have their anointing oil out for him because of it.
  • Well, I'm one who always likes to preach patience, but Gustav Forsling is looking like he could be a solid ole defenseman. The shot pass he had on Anisimov's goal was fantastic. He seems to have that hockey sense so many prospects wish they had. Granted it is preseason, but he's been impressive to say the least.
  • Another interesting roster decision that looms is that for Alexandre Fortin. Fortin has been nothing short of impressive on the forward front. For a team that can lack speed at times, it'd be nice to see if he gets a fair shot with 9 games if he makes the final roster cut.
  • Duncan Keith looked like his old self tonight, despite it being his first game. Keith ended the night with 2 assists and a +3. 
  • Ryan Hartman had a solid game as well. Problem for him is, he needs to be effective like this on a more consistent basis.
  • Corey Crawford made his preseason debut for the Hawks tonight. He didn't face much action, but at least the black gear is highly approved by the Hostile Crew.

The Bad
  • Eric Tangradi took a run at Patrick Kane in the third period. Luckily for Kane's sake, it was Eric Tangradi going after him. But it was nice to see our gritty enforcers Tootoo, and Desjardins send a mess...... oh wait, nevermind.
  • Pat and Eddie O seemed really interested in the game tonight. Never too early to start the #DrunkPatFoley talk I guess.

The Ugly
  • Apparently the Blackhawks aren't the only ones who need some fine tuning when it comes to the preseason. I pulled a #DickPanik and overslept past the start of the game, and Gate started the recap. That was until I informed him I signed up for tonight, and therefore properly drove this recap straight off a cliff after the first period. But hey they don't call us the best recap team for nothing.
  • Move along, there's nothing else to add tonight. Seriously if you made if this far, have a beer. I am done.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • The corsi of this recap took a massive hit as #Fatrick took over after the first period

The Lineblender
Fortin - Anisimov - Kane
Panarin - Schmaltz - Panik
Motte - Kruger - Hartman
Hinostroza - Desjardins - Tootoo

Keith - van Riemsdyk
Kempny - Seabrook
Forsling - Campbell


Sunday, October 2, 2016

Preseason: Blackhawks at Detroit
6-3 Loss Recap

"We Die Young"

by Gatekeeper

The Blackhawks headed to Detoilet Sunday afternoon, while their football counterparts played the Detoilet team back at home. Considering the lineup that the Blackhawks iced, they might as well have been playing football. The only legit NHL players on the ice for this game in a Blackhawks uniform were Trevor van Riemsdyk and Richard Panik. That said, "NHL player" is debatable, in this particular case. Talk about getting the short end of the recap stick. At least the Blackhawks broke their scoreless streak in games I recapped, after 130 minutes.

The Blackhawks, more specifically Ivan Nalimov, started out as bad as you possibly can. Nalimov gave up two goals on the first two NHL shots he faced. He later gave up another soft goal before the first period was even eleven minutes old, which left most fans feeling particularly uninspired. Alex Fortin finally gave the Blackhawks faithful a little hope with about four minutes remaining in the opening period. The fact that the Blackhawks managed only four shots on net and scored on one is a miracle. Detoilet, on the other hand, scored on three of their 10 shots.

The Blackhawks actually gathered themselves together enough to pull within one goal in the second period, but it was all downhill from there. After Rasmussen made the game 3-2, the Wings followed up with two goals in five minutes. The deck was stacked against this iteration of the Wings, and this was just not the Blackhawks night. If the Wings could actually keep from pissing themselves, they could have really run away with game.

The Blackhawks actually showed enough marbles to make this a game, in the third period.

They had some help from noted sniper Brandon Manshitter, though. A couple of powerplays could have really made the game closer, but the Hawks just couldn't put anything together. Eventually, the Wings sealed the game with a pretty hilarious empty net goal. The fact that this game was ever close, with the Hawks getting out shot 31-14, is pretty comical.

The Good
  • With about four minutes left in the first period, the Blackhawks finally showed some signs of life. Sam Carrick found Alexandre Fortin cutting straight up the ice, between the Detoilet defenders, and sent Fortin in on a breakaway. Fortin gave Petr Mrazek a little head fake, and deked Mrazek out of his tiny little walnut shell jock. All that was left for Fortin to do was to tuck the puck into the now open net, and he made no mistake.
  • Midway through the second period, Dennis Rasmussen pulled the Blackhawks within one goal, after Petr Mrazek did his best Jonathan Quick impression, finding himself seriously out of position. All Rasmussen had to do was gather the puck and backhand it into a gaping net.
  • This may seem like I'm fucking with you, but I'm 100% serious. Brandon Manshitter scored on a breakaway with a couple of minutes gone in the third period.
    I know right? I cannot believe my own eyes, either. Shit, problem solved. Put that man next to Toews and Hossa for game 1. Clearly he's had us all fooled, and he's a god damn sniper.

The Bad
  • I have not been particularly impressed with the object of Derek's irrational obsession, and female impersonator, Ville Pokka. Pokka has made a play or two, but his feet have look very slow and he's gotten caught several times cheating towards the wrong end of the ice. Gustav Forsling had looks far more composed and talented.
  • Late in the second period, Lars Johansson entered the game and immediately found the first shot he faced end up in the back of the net, giving the Wings a 4-2 lead. Even though the goal pinballed off his blocker, it was from a very tight angle and should have never ended up in the net.
  • A few minutes later, the Blackhawks gave up the 5th of the game, on the PK. Johansson made a save on a long one timer and the rebound bounced around in the crease. Svedberg swung and missed the puck, leaving Anthony Mantha a chip shot off the post and in. Johansson was clearly visibly unhappy with Svedberg on the play.
  • Hey, look at that! The Blackhawks beat a team in HITZ. That means they must have won the game, right? I mean, I've been told that those HITZ play a huge part in WINZ. Don't they?
  • The Blackhawks had one guy with faceoff percentage over 50%, the other 3 were all below 40%. Jake Dowell won 27%.

The Ugly
  • Not even two minutes into the game and it was 2-0. KHLer Ivan Nalimov did himself absolutely no favors, especially if you saw the scowl on Joel Quenneville's face after the second goal. You could say his Blackhawks career is heading in the direction of a Yak service airliner. I'm not even going to break the goals down, because I've seen midget goalies play better than that. I feel bad for the guy, because he's got size and could really make a name for himself. I was hoping for more out of him.
  • With about nine minutes left in the first period, the Blackhawks were down 0-3. Danny Dekeyser just blew a 40' slapshot past Nalimov that may or may not have be redirected. I had high hopes for this Russian kid, but holy dogshit, he was NOT ready for this.
  • Just in case anyone cares (and you shouldn't) Chris Desousa followed up stellar preseason scraps by noted heavyweight sluggers Jordin Tutu and Ryan ScissorhandsMan, with a silly staged scrap of his own following the 5th Detoilet goal.
  • The only thing worse that the matching save percentages of Nalimov and Johansson (.813), was Detoilet's number one goalie's save percentage (.786). This was our 7th and 3rd goalies on the depth chart, respective, Wings fans. Mrazek is your best.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • The line of Mashinter/Dowell/Desousa led the Hawks in Corsi. I give up.
  • Every player on the Wings was basically at 55% Corsi for except Drew Miller.

The Lineblender
McNeill - Rasmussen - Abbott
Fortin - Kero - Panik
Lundberg - Johnson - Carrick
Mashinter - Dowell - Desousa

Svedberg - Pokka
Norell - van Reimsdyk
Schilling - Gustafsson

Ivan Nalimov
Lars Johansson

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