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Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Blackhawks vs Panthers
2-1 Shootout Win Recap

"The Panik Broadcast"

by Gatekeeper


Quickly, I'd like to mention that Terry Boers called it a broadcast career, today, due to failing health. If you don't know him, he's been a part of Chicago sports radio for roughly 25 years. Basically my adult life. His tone and sarcasm probably had a lot to do with my satire and cynicism. I hope his health improves and that he continues to get more accolades. Like him or not, he's a Chicago sports radio icon.


On to hockey complaining...

For once, The Blackhawks weren't the squad with the most drama in the arena. The Florida Panthers, fresh off the unceremonious firing of their head coach, made their first appearance of the Tom Rowe era. Because nothing screams of future success like the model of Bob Pulford's coaching/GM double duty. How does THAT name taste going down? #NowDerek... There was a little Blackhawks drama coming in, with captain Jonathan Toews missing his third straight game with a mystery upper body injury. This had all the fixins for an inspired Panthers win; if not for Corey Crawford.

The first period was not exactly what the United Center crowd had hoped for, after a couple of weeks on the road. The Panthers definitely held the advantage in play for almost the entire first twenty minutes. It's pretty safe to say that the Blackhawks had very few scoring chances, yet they were able to take the lead late in the frame. Officially, the scorer said that the Hawks were only out shot 13-8, but it certainly seemed more like 13-4.

The middle twenty weren't exactly much better than the opening period, but the Blackhawks were able to accomplish something by closing the shot deficit after ONLY getting out shot 12-11. The two period total was down to 25-19, which was progress, I guess. You know what is boring? A late November Tuesday night game against the Panthers.

The Panthers were able to tie the game early in the third period and when I say early, I mean early. Thirty five seconds in. Once again the action slowed down to a snore-worthy pace, but the Blackhawks actually out shot the Panthers for a period. Barely. The final regulation totals were 39-33 in favor of the Cats. Giving up 39 shots at home is pretty brutal.

The overtime started with a Panthers powerplay that the Blackhawks killed off pretty easily, and there was the usual end to end rushes. Neither team was able to finish the game, and it was up to the hero, #DickFuckingPanik, to put the kitty cats to bed in the shootout.

The Good
  • Jaromir Jagr skated in his 1,652nd career NHL game, passing Chris Chelios (1,651) and tying Mark Recchi for fourth on the all-time list.
  • With just over two minutes remaining in the first period, Dennis Rasmussen found #DickFuckingPanik behind the Cats defense. Panik was able to gather the bouncing puck, truck in on Bobby Luongo, and tuck the puck around the Stomb-oalie. Not only did he score the only Hawks goal, but he won the game in the shootout with a really nice top shelf snapper and led the Hawks in shots on goal with 5. Keep mocking me about my 35 point prediction. He's at 10 points with about 3/4 of the games remaining.
  • Corey Crawford was outstanding again. Hew saved 38 of 39 and bailed the Blackhawks out several times. Overtime, shootout, stickless, shorthanded. He was simply great. If you can't respect a .974 save percentage then you're just stupid.
  • I'm officially on the Hartman train. He's been confident and solid, no matter where he's played.

The Bad
  • It only took the Panthers thirty five seconds into the third period to tie the game on the powerplay. Brent Seabrook blocked a shot that rendered him basically useless. The puck then somehow eventually ended up on the stick of Jaromir Jagr right at the edge of the crease, who put it away.
  • Not only did Patrick Kane take a sloppy penalty with 20 seconds remaining in regulation but when he came out of the box in overtime, he half assed a pass that would have given him a breakaway and it dribbled away harmlessly.
  • Artem Anisimov took a Duncan Keith shot off the ankle on the third period and had to end up going to the locker room.
  • One player who's train I'm not on is Nick Schmaltz. He seems to be getting endless opportunities and he has 1 goal in 24 games. By all means, keep putting him out there with Kane and keep watching him try to crowbar passes when he has an open shot. Let's all rag on Kruger, who basically only has defensive zone starts while stuck in the bottom 6.

The Ugly
  • Before the game even started, we found out that Coach Whizzo was sitting Michal Kempny for Jurassic era relic Michal Rozsival. To put it bluntly, this is bullshit.
  • In the third period Vinny Hinostroza cut his angle a little too close to his own goaltender's crease, and swept the legs right out from under Crawford. Crawford lost his stick and laid on the ice for an extended period but the play continued. Eventually, Crawford had to gather himself and dive to his right to kill the play.
  • Jordin Tootoo played under six minutes. Can we end this charade?
  • I was so bored by this game that I had time to put this fitting creation together. Sure would be nice to have a Photoshop guy around these parts.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • I couldn't believe my eyes that the Hawks actually won 53% of their faceoffs. Marcus Kruger won 15 of 20 faceoffs by himself.
  • The Jonathan Marchessault/Aleksander Barkov/Jaromir Jagr line just clowned the Blackhawks all night in possession.
  • The Triple H line of Ryan Hartman/Vinny Hinostroza/Marian Hossa were the leading Blackhawks possession line.


The Shootout
  • Patrick Kane stopped by Luongo's glove
  • Vincent Trocheck missed wide
  • Artemi Panarin beat Luongo
  • Aleksander Barkov stopped by Crawford
  • #DickFuckingPanik beats Bobby Lu top cheddar

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Hartman - Hinostroza - Hossa
Rasmussen - Kruger - Panik
Motte - Schmaltz - Tootoo

Keith - Hjalmarsson
Campbell - Seabrook
Forsling - Rozsival


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Sunday, November 27, 2016

Blackhawks at Kings
2-1 OT Loss Recap

"The Night Eternal"

by Patrick Norton
@pdnorton3

Pregame
Lots of things make up a good hockey team; a strong captain, coaching adjustments, a heavy goaltender presence, and a finisher. The list goes on, but it’s late and I’m tired. On Saturday night, the Blackhawks would enter without one of the key components; Jonathan Toews. Toews will miss his second straight game with an upper-body injury. Defeating the Los Angeles Kings has never been an easy task, but it gets much more difficult without your captain on the ice.

With an opportunity for a positive record to finish the final circus trip, the Blackhawks would be sending Scott Darling onto the Staples Center ice with a perfect 4-0-0 record on the season. A 2.94 GAA and .904 saves percentage isn’t necessarily something to brag about, but it’s gotten the job done. Now without their captain and their starting goaltender, would the Blackhawks be able to stack back-to-back wins? *Journalism 101: Don’t ask these types of questions.*

Game Time
It seemed like the Kings jumped out to a 1-0 lead a minute into the game on a Tyler Toffoli goal, but the goal was disallowed after further review due to Tanner Pearson shoving Niklas Hjalmarsson into Scott Darling previous to the goal. In the booth, Steve Konroyd, the former hockey player, was oblivious to the NHL rule book and remained confident the goal would stand. Wrong. What else is new? After killing a Desjardins penalty, the Blackhawks tallied the first goal of the game (that counted) on a Kane redirect. Another kill after that gave the Hawks a lead and confidence heading into the first intermission.

The second period hit me and the Blackhawks fast. It took 57 seconds for the Kings to get on the board and I almost missed it for a nap had I not set an alarm on my phone. I’ve been up since 7 am, so this 9:30 pm start has me struggling to keep my eyes open. F*** the circus and f*** Alec Martinez. A plethora of opportunities for each team were not successful, including a back-and-forth sequence of flurries to close out the second period. Somehow, the score was knotted at one after two.

The third period proved to be a bit different. A puck was not behind Darling in the first minute for the first time tonight, legally or illegally. An early powerplay resulted in nothing, even though the Blackhawks were toying with the Los Angeles defense. Then, it was back-and-forth for the next thirteen minutes. Unttiillll, Brent Seabrook cleared the puck over the glass, resulting in a careless delay of game minor with 1:01 remaining on the clock. Luckily, the Hawks got through the first 1:01. The remaining :59 would come in OT.

It was a 4 on 3 to begin OT with the Kings on the advantage. A great kill, but the inability to clear the zone led to a Jeff Carter *let me hurl* OT GWG. Shucks. I stayed up for that. Luckily, the Hawks leave with a point they hardly earned. Scott Darling was fantastic, but holding LA to two goals just wasn’t enough. Unfortunate the offense went cold, but at least the circus trip is over. Kings 2, Blackhawks 1.

The Good
  • The first goal of the game was rocket that Duncan Keith fired three feet wide of the net. Fortunately, Patrick Kane got a stick on it and sent it by the glove side of Peter Budaj.
  • The Blackhawks penalty kill. How about that? When was the last time the PK found it’s way into “The Good?” Sure, the OT goal came seconds after a kill ended, but Seabrook had hardly joined the play. Unfortunate, but we’ve seen worse this season.
  • The goaltending was spectacular on both ends of the ice. The goal post and crossbar made a few cameos, but Budaj and Darling held their own.
  • Scott Darling’s new pads are sick. You can check them out on the Puckin’ Hostile instagram page. Follow @PuckinHostile. (See what I did there? Gate would be proud if he actually read my recaps)
  • The Motte - Kruger - Rasmussen produced some of the best chances for the Blackhawks, especially in the second period.
  • The forecheck was strong through, creating turnovers in the offensive zone and preventing odd man rushes from the Kings.
  • Eddie Olczyk’s analysis. Hearing his voice during an intermission while Steve-O sits in the booth with Pat makes me appreciate all Olczyk has done on the mic for the Blackhawks.

The Bad
  • A lazy tripping penalty put the Hawks on the penalty kill halfway through the first period. Never a good sign to see the PK out so early. Or at any point, for that matter.
  • The defense for the Hawks had their moments, sure, but they let the Kings get a hell of a lot of up close shot opportunities on future brother-in-law of #Fatrick, Scott Darling.
  • The WGN graphics were consistently trash. Glad to see Illinois high school playoff football take precedence over an NHL game on CSN. That’s right. I’m blaming the network they weren’t even on.
  • The Blackhawks shot column. Outshot 29-19, including 3-0 in OT.
  • The Hawk powerplay. Puck possession was decent, but few quality shots left much to be desired on the Hawks special teams. At least they didn’t give up any shortys, eh?
  • The dot has been a struggle point for the Blackhawks in more games than not, but it hurt when a lost draw led to the only second period goal for the Kings.
  • Nick Schmaltz needs to shoot the Christ forsaken puck on Tuesday night.

The Ugly
  • I eluded to this in my first period recap, but Steve Konroyd is the worst analyst in all of hockey. I’d rather have Jamal Mayers in the booth with Pat Foley. Konroyd seemed to forget every rule pertaining to goalie interference and the coach’s challenge. Not one logical statement came out of his mouth. He made Pat Foley seem like a genius with all of the times Foley had to correct his partner in the booth. You could hear Pat Foley’s sadness in the tone of his voice without having Eddie Olczyk sitting beside him.
  • The first Kings powerplay included THREE offsides calls! Where were these refs in 2014? Also, how do you go offsides three times in one powerplay?
  • Dustin Brown.
  • Darryl Sutter.
  • A slow start seems to plague every first period for the Blackhawks. While that ended up not being the case in the opening frame, it was in the second. An early push from the Kings in period number two caught the Blackhawks off guard, which led to the equalizer at one goal apiece.
  • Andrew Desjardins found himself in the lineup, but quickly made Quenneville regret that decision. He didn’t give up any goals, but his play was less than mediocre.
  • Richard Panik has something haunting him. I don’t know what it is, but he isn’t going after pucks the way he did during his hot stretch. If he wants to find himself on the top line again, he’s got to recover the physical factor he has lost in the past couple weeks.
  • The Desjardins - Schmaltz - Panik line did not mesh well together. Schmaltz had a few close opportunities, but I’d be surprised to see much more of that line combo in the future.
  • The Kings grayscale uniforms are awful. One team should be required to wear a real color. I can’t tell the difference between the Hawks, the Kings, and the refs. Ridiculous.
  • The penalties the Hawks committed were the results of pure laziness. Ends up costing them a second point. Damn.

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Hartman - Hinostroza - Hossa
Motte - Kruger - Rasmussen
Desjardins - Schmaltz - Panik

Keith - Campbell
Kempny - Seabrook
Forsling - Hjalmarsson

#Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats

  • Vinny Hinostroza led the team in Corsi with a +4.
  • Duncan Keith and Andrew Desjardins finished with -7 in the Corsi department, tying for the team low.
  • The Hawks were a dismal 21/58 from the dot. It cost them a goal in the second period. Lots of room for improvement.
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Friday, November 25, 2016

Blackhawks at Anaheim
3-2 Win Recap

"Good Mourning, Black Friday"

by Gatekeeper


The Blackhawks had 2 games to pull out an over .500 record for this last Circus trip, and the first of which was against the Anaheim Ducks for a Black Friday matinee game. They were riding a 2-3 record on the trip, and haven't looked looked well at all. The Ducks haven't really been all that impressive, themselves. They came into the game 9-7-4 which put them at 7th in the conference. This is a team the Blackhawks needed to beat, and beat them fairly easily if they wanted to end this trip on a good note.

oh, right. They were going to have to do so without Jonathan Toews. Swell.

The Blackhawks first half of the first period can be best described with one word; Tryptophan. The Hawks were out shot 8-3 and looked off. Of course they immediately come back from the mid period TV timeout to take a 1-0 lead. That still doesn't take away from the bad Rozsival penalty and slow start.

The second period was a much better result for the road team. The Blackhawks came out and out shot the home team 5-3 in the opening half of the period, while taking a 2-0 lead. Of course, they proceeded to get out shot 9-3 for the remainder of the middle frame. There were goals each way which gave the Blackhawks a 3-1 lead going into the third period.

With a 2 goal Blackhawks lead, the Ducks tried to mount a comeback, but it was not to be. The Ducks out shot the Blackhawks 15-10 for a 36-25 total, but the Blackhawks held on for a 3-2 win, without their captain, no less. After this long trip, the Hawks will take it.

The Good
  • Immediately following the mid-period TV timeout, Patrick Kane and Artem Anisimov worked a 2-on-1 that was sloppy as Thanksgiving gravy, but still ended up in the net. Kane and Anisimov tried a give-n-go, but the pass back to Kane was intercepted. Kane was still able to somehow get the puck to Gibson, who made the save, but he was stuck in the prone position. The puck flipped and bounced between Gibson's legs and Anisimov pitchforked it over the goal line like Fatrick stabbing at the turkey last night, but knowing Fatrick, it was a Thanksgiving McRib.
  • The Blackhawks powerplay gave them a 2-0 about seven minutes into the second period. Noted turd face, Kevin Bieksa, took a penalty and the Blackhawks were able to set up in the Ducks zone. Kane was open on the right side and Brent Seabrook fed him for a one time clapper. The shot seemed like there was a little taken off but beat John Gibson, anyway.
  • With 4:20 left in the second period, a Marcus Kruger's forecheck ended up right on the stick of Hartman, and Hartman blew the puck by Gibson's glove hand for a 3-0 Blackhawks lead.
  • This was a Corey Crawford win. He saved 34 of 36, and stood tall when the Ducks were pressuring hard.
  • Ryan Hartman was also out there making himself useful again, drawing a late second period penalty. He's winning my praise, and I'm liking it. Might have to grab myself a Hartman player shirt.
  • It was really pretty nostalgic to hear Foley calling the name "Manson", again. Brought me back to 1988.

The Bad
  • As I stated earlier, the Hawks were without Jonny Toews after hurting himself in the second period Wednesday night.
  • Ten seconds after the Hartman goal, the Ducks took the faceoff and broke the Hawks shutout. Nick Ritchie used Brent Seabrook as a screen, and surprised Corey Crawford. I realize that Crawford had a good distance to pick that puck up, but those are hard to find, especially with Seabrook wearing black pants. That was 100% the screen, rather than a Crawford gaffe.
  • I'm not sure if he's still nursing anything, but Tyler Motte has been invisible since returning to the lineup. Totally invisible. I didn't even realize he was playing until late in the second period.
  • Antoine Vermette came into the game winning a NHL leading 66% of his faceoffs. It's wonderful how the Blackhawks coach drove him out of town 2 seasons ago, so that there was no chance to get him to come back as a solid depth center this summer. No need for anything like that, for a team that only has 2 centers that can win faceoffs.

The Ugly
  • The Blackhawks started Michal Rozsival over Kempny for the second game in a row. I'm not really sure what this accomplishes other than frustrating a player you're going to be depending on in April.
  • Those burnt orange Ducks jerseys are terrible. I think they design team is color blind, or headed up by Harms.
  • How about Getzlaf and Perry, eh? The goal-less wonder twins.
  • Playing the role of Brandon Bollig tonight was Jordin Tootoo, with a game low 4:17 of TOI.
  • With 5 minutes gone in the third period, the Ducks looked to have cut the lead to 1 goal, but Ondrej Kase had it go off his glove, then off his skate and into the net. The call on the ice was no goal, and the replay confirmed that.
  • Four minutess after the Ducks thought they cut the Blackhawks lead, they actually did cut the lead to one goal. Seabrook, Campbell and Crawford got all turned around, and Jakob Silfverberg was able to pick up a loose puck to wrap around.
  • I have to know how John Gibson was an NHL all-star last year. He gives up a metric shit ton of rebounds. There is no way that there were no more deserving goalies in the Pacific. He might have a good future, but right now he's raw.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • Blackhawks were awful at the faceoff dots. They lost a ridiculous 73%. That is unacceptable for any opponent.
  • Cam Fowler and Sami Vatanen were +29 and +25 in overall Corsi. I'm not even sure how that is possible. That's a complete ass whooping.
  • The only Hawks players with positive Corsi were Vinny Hinostroza and Ryan Hartman.

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Hartman - Hinostroza - Hossa
Motte - Scmaltz - Panik
Rasmussen - Kruger - Tootoo

Keith - Hjalmarsson
Campbell - Seabrook
Forsling - Rozsival


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Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast
Episode 70


In this 70th Puckin Hostile Shoutcast (the Dennis Rasmussen episode) Gatekeeper, Pat, Derek, Bryan and Patrick Norton follow up the election and Vegas Golden Knights embarrassment with a craptacular fail of their own.

The panel discuss the following:
-#Fatrick's connection is poop.
-Trump winning the election is still utterly hilarious.
-David Backes scores the first goal in his first game against the Bluesers.
-The Hall of Fame inducts this year's class.
-The Las Vegas team unveils their logo and name right before recording
-Bryan Bickell diagnosed with MS
-Lots of NHL injuries
-Brent Burns doesn't take a haircut on his new deal.
-No more stupid circus trip.
-Games vs the Blues, Capitals, Canadiens, Jets, Flames, Canucks and Oilers
-And of course, as always, an abundance of extremely inappropriate references and jokes in incredibly bad taste

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link: iTunes

Get the Shoutcast directly though Soundcloud here:


For all your custom jersey needs visit Black and Tan Sports at:

http://www.facebook.com/BlackAndTanSports
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Monday, November 21, 2016

Blackhawks at Oilers
5-0 Shutout Loss Recap

"Slaughter of the Soul"

Pretty clearly isn't from tonights game, but I suck with photos. Sue me.

Patrick Norton


Pregame Thoughts

Last season, Connor McClavicle… excuse me… McDavid found himself on the long term IR before the Blackhawks had a chance to face him. The long awaited matchup is finally here. McDavid vs. Kane, McDavid vs. Toews, McDavid vs. the Blackhawks. See a trend here? McDavid has been the storyline of this matchup for a while now. It doesn’t matter that it’s a random regular season matchup, nor has the success these teams factored in. It’s all about McDavid. From Chicago publications to Edmonton sites, it's an anticipated matchup for many fans and media sources (excluding The Hockey Press. They just want you to have a successful DraftKings lineup) around the league.

Guess what? The Blackhawks don’t care. They’ve got another seventeen Oiler players to worry about and are coming off of one of their sloppiest starts to a game this season. The occasional loss is nothing to worry about, but being down to the Canucks after two periods is cause for concern. A miraculous comeback washes it away for the most part, but taking a step back, it was one of the worst played games this year. A win's a win, but the Hawks are going to need a strong start against an improved Edmonton team.


Game Time

The storyline going into every game this season has been “Can you Blackhawks get off to a fast start?” The answer has been “no” far too often. Tonight? Bingo. ‘Nough said? No? Let me elaborate. Noted Blackhawks killer Oscar Klefbom netted a softy against Corey Crawford and Leon Draisaitl followed up with a powerplay tally to round out the first period. The Blackhawks had their fair share of chances, but could not convert and trailed early, 2-0 after one.

Welp, the Hawks fell into the same trap that they did against the Canucks on Saturday. Seconds after a Kruger penalty expired, Andrej Sekera tallied on the powerplay. It’s frustrating that the Blackhawks put themselves in the same spot they were in against Vancouver. Here’s the thing; go down 3-0 after two to the Canucks. You’ll still probably win. You can’t go down 3-0 against a competent hockey team and realistically expect to comeback. It was a sloppy, yet entertaining period otherwise. Vinny Hinostroza deked Oscar Klefbom out of his jock strap. It was pretty hysterical. Anyways, onto the third, already down, 3-0.

I think the Hawks get a pass on losing tonight. Afterall, passing is all they could do tonight. Third game in four nights and the fatigue showed. However, there’s no excuse for being shutout. Granted, the last game wasn’t spectacular either. 7:17 into the third, Anton Slepyshev put the dagger through the heart of the Blackhawks and ended this one. Another goal from Leon Draisaitl just poured the salt into the wound. Another slow beginning plagued them, but it carried throughout the entire game. Simply put, they just didn’t have it tonight. Here’s how my father usually characterizes a loss; “They just didn’t want it as much as the other team.” Luckily the Oilers couldn’t find the net more than five times. They take this one, 5-0.


The Good

  • Cam Talbot had some exceptional saves early on. A breakaway from Toews and a point blank shot from Kane, both deflected wide gave the Edmonton goaltender some early confidence.
  • Puck movement between Nick Schmaltz and Patrick Kane has steadily improved each game, but tonight, they were able to generate some A+ chances in the zone, especially early. Unfortunately, nothing connected with the back of the net.
  • The fourth line combo of Hartman - Hinostroza - Panik matched the Oilers in speed; something the Blackhawks haven’t been able to do since I joined the bandwagon... hehe
  • Rogers Place is pretty cool looking. From a TV, that is. It’s nice to watch a game taking place in Edmonton and not feel like the lights are off and they’re skating on water. Good job.
  • The Oilers. Who knew?

The Bad

  • The intermission report with Steve Konroyd and Pat Boyle is just brutal. Konroyd makes me want to bang my head against a brick wall. Every opportunity he gets to remind the viewers that he’s Canadian, he’ll pronounce something like a fool. Not even like a Canadian. More like an impression of a Canadian.
  • The goals Corey Crawford let slip through were not completely on him. Missed defensive assignments and just giving clear shots on the goaltender pins those on the defense just as much. Unfortunately, Crawford could’ve had at least two of them, especially the Klefbom goal.
  • The Hawks had no trouble getting the puck on net, but they weren’t quality chances. Sure, lucky bounces happen, but Talbot wasn’t giving up many juicy rebounds.
  • My grade in Sociology. Should’ve been doing my homework instead of watching this crap. Whoops.
  • My original spelling of every scorer for the Oilers tonight. Thanks Google.
  • The powerplay forgot to show up again. They had decent movement, but couldn’t follow it up with a goal.

The Ugly

  • The first goal of the game, scored by Oiler Oscar Klefbom, was weak. Not a desireable start for one of the league’s best goaltenders.
  • Welp, they’re the worst PK in the league for a reason. The Hawks were able to kill one early,  but on the next chance for a kill, Leon Draisaitl had an easy route to the net for a lamp lighter. Then, to close out period number two, Andrej Sekera essentially put the game out of reach with a tally seconds after an Oilers powerplay had expired for Edmonton. Draisaitl then cleaned up Lucic scraps for another PP goal with just over a minute remaining in the game. Just another crap game for the Hawks PK
  • Once again, the first forty minutes were dismal for the Hawks. Three goal leads are usually pretty safe, unless you’re the Canucks. They’ve got to change their approach to the first two periods if they plan on remaining atop the West further into the season.
  • Who the hell is Slepyshev? And how in God’s name did he score? Maybe Mike Milbury was right about Crawford’s glove side during the 2013 playoffs. HAHAHAHA
  • The final twenty minutes weren’t anything to brag about, either. Ugh.
  • The defense of the Blackhawks shifted all of their attention to McDavid very early. There was no reason to and it burned them with five goals being scored by guys not named Connor McDavid.
  • Remember when the Hawks came back against the Canucks by scoring three goals in the third. Well, the Hawks were held to just three shots in the third. That just cannot happen.
  • Milan Lucic’s face.

I’m trying to think of more “Ugly” things about tonights game. There are too many, but I’m trying to remove this one from my memory. Great start to my time at Puckin’ Hostile.

The Lineblender

Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Schmaltz - Toews - Kane
Panarin - Anisimov - Hossa
Desjardins - Kruger - Motte
Hartman - Hinostroza - Panik

Keith - Campbell
Kempny - Seabrook
Forsling - Hjalmarsson

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats


  • I’m still not exactly what the point of Corsi is, but Duncan Keith, Brian Campbell, Patrick Kane, Nick Schmaltz, and Brent Seabrook finished with double-digit poisitive Corsi’s. Niklas Hjalmarsson was the only Hawk double-digits in the red.
  • The Blackhawks actually won 29/56 faceoffs, which is good enough for a 51.8% success rate, but it wasn’t good for any goals.
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Saturday, November 19, 2016

Blackhawks at Calgary3-2 Win Recap

"The Flameout"

by Gatekeeper


After laying a total turd of a game in Manitoba, Tuesday night, the Blackhawks continued their trek across the land of the snow Mexicans to the Alberta chapter. First on the list was the, now handicapped, Calgary Flames. They announced that Johnny Gaudreau would be out for 6 weeks, following surgery to repair a broken finger. That is what I'd call a real kick to the coconuts. The Blackhawks could use the help, though, to get back on track. They had a few days to rest and get their feet back underneath themselves, so there were no valid excuses coming in. This is one of those games that they needed to win.

The first period was pretty tame even though the Blackhawks were able to take a 1-0 lead. A couple of sloppy Blackhawks penalties gave the Flames an advantage in shots 11-9. Other than the two powerplays, You could have slept through the initial twenty minutes, and I'm pretty sure most of the Calgary crowd. The ones that actually showed up, that is.

The second period opened up pretty badly for the Hawks. They came out and game up 2 goals on 3 shots, to not only allow the Flames to tie the game, but take the lead. Eventually the Blackhawks extracted their heads out of their asses and were able to tie the game back up before the end of the period. Miraculously, the Hawks salvaged the game thus far with a 9-9 shot total.

The Blackhawks gave it a little gas in the third period, and that little additional gas was all they needed. It took just over 17 minutes to get that game winning goal, but they managed to make it happen. The Hawks weathered the Flames push and were out shot 10-6. Now they get to head to Vancouver to play the complete shit show they call the Canucks.

The Good
  • Those classic red jerseys are gorgeous. They should never ever change them. Just look at these beauties:
  • With about 8 minutes gone in the first period, the Blackhawks took advantage of a late change and Ryan Hartman gave them a 1-0 lead. Artem Anisimov found himself with the puck on his stick right in front of Corey Crawford and caught Hartman coming off the bench behind the Flames defense. Hartman out raced Dennis Wideman and was able to fend Wideman off long enough to beat Chad Johnson on the partial breakaway.
  • Late in the second period the Blackhawks were able to tie the game back up on this new thing called the powerplay. Seemed like an innocent enough play, but the Flames PK never rotated to Seabrook, who blew the shot past Johnson.
  • The makeshift line of Panarin, Toews, and Kane nearly took the lead early in the third but Chad Johnson and their captain, Mark Giordano, somehow kept the puck out of the net. Another thing, people; That will never be a full time line. Quenneville does that after penalty kill situations and has for a while. Control your erections.
  • Very late in the third, the Blackhawks took the lead they needed to get out of Calgary with a win. Artemi Panarin game in 2-on-4 with Marian Hossa took a long shot from the top of the left circle. Chad Johnson had some problems hanging on to the puck and it dribbled down to the ice behind him. Hossa was driving the net, like the additional forward should (ALL YOU YOUNG HOCKEY PLAYERS), and was able to get enough of the puck for it to just barely get over the line.
  • The penalty kill was pretty damn good, with their help of their goalie. They killed off all 5 pretty sloppy penalties.
  • On the other hand, the power play scored on their only chance.
  • I've been off the Flames bandwagon for quite a while, but I might have to re-adopt them as my second favorite team. Monahan, Bennett, Gaudreau, and Frolik are all really good players. If they could get a stud goalie, they'd be really dangerous.
  • This seems like a broken record but Corey Crawford was excellent once again. He made several acrobatic saves that he simply would not have made 2 years ago. He still has his woofers, as any goalie will, but he's at the top of his game right now. Crawford saved 28 of 30 and could have easily given up 2 more, based on the Flames chances.

The Bad
  • Three and a half minutes into the second period, right after Patrick Kane stopped what was a sure goal from going into the Flames net, he later turned over the puck in the offensive zone, which led to a Flames goal. After Kane turned the puck over he pouted just long enough to allow the Flames to get a 2-on-1. The initial shot/pass hit Duncan Keith and ended up in the corner. Sean Monahan threw the puck off Crawford and it laid in the crease between Patrick Kane's feet. Kane basically stood there and stared at the puck long enough for Sam Bennett to shuffle board it into the net.
  • Four minutes after the Sam Bennett goal, Sean Monahan banked a puck off a slightly confused Gustav Forsling and past Corey Crawford. Until the goal horn went off, I'm pretty sure Forsling had no idea what was going on because he had his back to Bennett and was having a spot of tea with Troy Brouwer.

The Ugly
  • Just when the Blackhawks seemed to have their stupid penalty problems figured out, Jordin Tootoo took a stupid momentum killing offensive zone penalty in the first period.
  • I don't want to just single out Tootoo, because the Blackhawks took several lazy or sloppy penalties.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • The Blackhawks faceoff percentage was truly awful. They won only 42%
  • As much as I like Michael Frolik, his possession numbers were awful. He was a -12 overall, and a -11 5v5.
  • Speaking of terrible possession, Dennis Wideman and TJ Brodie just got eaten up.
  • The Blackhawks weren't much better. The only line that wasn't under water was Panarin, Anisimov, Hossa, Kempny and Seabrook. That will happen, though, when your PK is out on the ice for 10 minutes.

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Panik - Toews - Kane
Panarin - Anisimov - Hossa
Rasmussen - Kruger - Hartman
Desjardins - Schmaltz - Tootoo

Keith - Campbell
Kempny - Seabrook
Forsling - Hjalmarsson


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Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Blackhawks at Winnipeg
4-0 Shutout Loss Recap

"Another Day in Quicksand"

by Gatekeeper


The Blackhawks began their last circus trip ever, Tuesday night in Winnipeg Alberta, facing the Jets part Deux. They came in carrying a pretty warm streak, after beating the Eastern conference leading Canadiens, Sunday night. This, of course, means that we were all in for a big let down, and let down is what we were given.

The Blackhawks laid a dodo bird sized egg for fans, which should have been expected, just not against the Jets. Clearly the Jets are a team trending upwards because, honestly, could they be any worse than last year? That said, they have rookie sensation Patrick Laine eating up opponents and young promising players like Mark Scheifele, Jacob Trouba, Nikolaj Ehlers, and Connor Hellebuyck contributing, but they were also shorthanded because of injuries. Tyler Myers, Bryan Little, Drew Stafford, and Mathieu Perreault were all missing from the lineup for this one.

The Hawks, sort of, showed their faced for the first period, but that didn't last long. There was a lot of running around in their own end, and the Jets finally took advantage with about 7 minutes gone in the period. Basically, that was all the Jets needed. It was that rough of a night. On paper, the Blackhawks held the shot advantage 8-6, but there weren't many legit threats either way.

The second period started with the Blackhawks powerplay and then a short time later, they had a two man advantage. This didn't end up turning out well for the Hawks and this rolled into a third period melt down. Again, on paper, it looks like the Blackhawks played better than they actually did, because of the shots generated on the power play. 12-7 looks like a very good shot advantage, when you're not factoring in the powerplays. Outside of those 5-odd minutes, there wasn't much more to "Crow" about.

The third period was just a complete collapse from the team in white. The Hawks gave up a goal 4 minutes in and then the back breakers were the two goals in 11 seconds roughly midway through. After that, the game was just a mere formality. Off to Calgary...

The Good
  • There isn't much good. The Hawks came out flat and never really got engaged. They hit a slightly warm goalie, and just folded.
  • Honestly, The only redeemable thing about this boring game was the Hockey Fights Cancer theme, so there ya go.

The Bad
  • The first Jets goal was actually a pretty nice play by Mark Scheifele. He was, kind of, thrown a hand grenade and was able to tow drag around Hjalmarsson, while finding rookie Josh Morrissey in the slot. Morrissey let a pretty good shot go, that Crawford saw, but it had just enough juice to sneak through Corey and into the net.
  • Chris Thorburn really took most of the wind out of the Blackhawks with his first goal of the year, in the third period. His shot was long enough, and not all that hard at all. Thorburn just spun around and one timed the puck from the far wall. I don't think anyone, including Thorburn, expected that to be anything but a garbage rebound. Crawford should have been able to track it, but it ended up up being perfectly placed in the top far corner. You could just tell that this was not Crawford's night.
  • Patrik Laine became the first player since Evgeni Malkin in 2006-07 to score 12 goals in his first 18 career NHL games, with the Jets 3rd goal of the night. It was nothing fancy, almost a Hossa type goal. A rebound laid loose in the slot are and Laine chipped it top cheddar. I like this kid, and the Blackhawks should be concerned that he's in their division. His big frame and speed make him a potential nightmare for years to come. I'd take him on my team in a heartbeat.
  • Eleven fucking seconds after the Laine goal, Nic Petan (who just makes me think of Chris Kattan when they say his name) gave the knife a final twist for good measure. Not only that, but former Hawk Marko Dano had the assist.
  • Not Corey Crawford's best performance. The first goal snuck through, and giving up 2 goals in 11 seconds is never acceptable. He wasn't exactly given much to work with, either, but four goals on 24 shots, is not ideal. Mulligan. Scott Darling came in and pulled the "utility infielder thrown in to pitch" duty, because the game was over already.

The Ugly
  • I'm not really sure what Vince Hinostroza was doing, but he god fucking rocked by Josh Morrissey. He looks to have had his head up, but continued to skate right at Morrissey, and Morrissey completely ragdolled him. The Department of Player Safety will look at the hit because of the violence and injury, but I don't see much wrong with the hit. Morrissey hit him in the chest, and Hinostroza went helicoptering into the boards. If Morrissey got him in the chin just a shade, it's because Hinostroza is a hobbit. No one wants to see a player get hurt, but this one is on Hinostroza. He had a rough time getting up and gathering his wits, and never returned. If he wasn't concussed then I'm Fabio.
  • The Blackhawks had a long 2 man advantage in the second period and accomplished dick-all. So, now that the penalty kill is functional, we get the Clown Shoes powerplay back. I don't remember agreeing to that swap.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • Jacob Trouba actually carried an overall -12 Corsi for the night, but a great deal of that had to do with the PK time.
  • Brent Seabrook had a great night possession-wise towing a plus 14 Corsi.
  • Again, the Blackhawks team possession numbers look pretty good because they out shot the Jets and held them to a low shot total.

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Hinostroza - Toews - Kane
Panarin - Anisimov - Hossa
Desjardins - Kruger - Panik
Schmaltz - Rasmussen - Tootoo

Keith - Campbell
Kempny - Seabrook
Forsling - Hjalmarsson


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Monday, November 14, 2016

Blackhawks vs Canadiens
3-2 Win Recap

"My Last Serenade"

by Gatekeeper


Sunday night the Blackhawks welcomed the red hot Canadiens to Chicago for, "One of those great six o'clock starts". The Hawks also welcomed back their former mangy mutt, and now overpaid agitator Andrew Shaw, as well. The Montreal Canadians came in on a hell of a hot streak, but that hot streak involved all world goalie Carey Price. The Hawks didn't face Price, Sunday night, which was an advantage right off the bat. Chicago native Al Montoya was in net for the Habs, and his last start really didn't go so hot, to the tune of a 10-0 loss to the Columbus Blue Jackets. After this game the Blackhawks were hitting the road for their annual pain in the ass circus trip and 7 straight on the road until the 29th, when they return against the Panthers. Perfect timing after just ending a 7 game winning streak, eh?

The Hawks organization started out with a Denis Savard tribute called "One More Shift". It was pretty cool and I know my brother was at full mast. The biggest Savard fan I've ever known. This is for you, Skeeter:


Following the short Savard ceremony, the Blackhawks came out with a little jump in their step. For a while, at least. The one thing that you'd imagine them gaining even more momentum on is the powerplay, but that's been proven wrong time and time again. They eventually took a 1-0 lead but they certainly didn't have the same pep in their step. Shots ended up in favor of the Blackhawks 9-7 and the Habs carried over a powerplay into the second period.

To say that the Blackhawks didn't start the second period well, is a bit of an understatement. They gave up two pretty soft goals in the first three minutes of the period. Thankfully, they were able get back on track and score two goals in the latter minutes of the period to take a 3-2 lead into the final frame. Overall, the Hawks also out shot the Habs pretty heavily 13-5.

The third period started out really well for the Blackhawks but they were not able to solve Al Montoya. In the latter stages of the period, the Canadiens were able to use 4-on-4 play and a pulled goalie to generate some pressure but the Blackhawks were able to hold on for the 3-2 win.

The Good
  • Not only did they honor Denis Savard, but they honored Andrew Shaw with a little scoreboard tribute.
  • Gustav Forsling put the Blackhawks up 1-0 with about eight minutes remaining in the first period. Andrew Desjardins and #DickFuckingPanik created some traffic in front, while Al Montoya's defenseman knocked his stick out of his hand. This gave Forsling an advantage on the shot, and he beat Montoya glove side.
  • Following another failed powerplay the "Can't we just trade or LTIR him" Marian Hossa scored his 9th goal of the season. Al Montoya made the save on a long Nick Schmaltz clapper, but the rebound laid right at the feet of Hossa, who jammed it in.
  • With just under 4 minutes left in the second period, Patrick Kane paid his homage to Denis Savard with a highlight reel goal of his own. After the refs missed a puck hitting the netting in behind the net, the play worked back around and Kane dangled through Jeff Petry and Max Pacioretty, then beating Al Montoya to give the Blackhawks a 3-2 lead.
  • With about 7 minute remaining, Andrew Shaw looked to have a wide open net and Corey Crawford kicked it away with an incredible toe save.
  • This might be the most complete and dominant game that the Blackhawks have played in quite a while. They had a few minute lapse in the second but, otherwise, they were spending most of their time in the Habs zone. The Blackhawks out shot the Habs 35-23.

The Bad
  • A minute into the second period, Duncan Keith had to take a penalty when Daniel Carr got in on a partial break-a-way. The Habs tied the game on a bizarre goal. Shea Weber tried to center the puck from the goal line extended, and it went off Michal Kempny's stick and into the top corner of the net.
  • A couple of minutes after the Weber goal, Andrei Markov found a lane at the blue line, after Hawks neutral zone turnover and beat Corey Crawford cleanly. That's one Crawford would love to have a "do over" on.
  • It took about 25 minutes for Joel Quenneville to fire up the lineblender, swapping 1st and 4th line left wings. Hinostroza ended up with the golden ticket while Hartman went down to the shithouse.
  • With Al Montoya playing a great game and about 3 minutes left, Ryan Hartman got him all fired up and Montoya came up swinging. All this led to a 4-on-4 situation.

The Ugly
  • The powerplay opened up struggling to get the puck out of their own end and, if not for Corey Crawford, they would have given up yet another ugly shorthanded goal.
  • Pat Foley sat and told everyone watching the broadcast that Andrew Shaw was never drafted. Andrew Shaw was drafted in the 5th round(139th overall), in 2011.
  • Max Pacioretty took a deflected puck right in the yap and left the ice bleeding pretty heavily, in the first period. Ouch.
  • I still have no respect for Alex Radulov. He's an over rated bum slayer who dominated an inferior league and caused the Predators a bunch of drama.
  • With his team trailing by a goal, and about 12 minutes remaining, the $5 million Andrew Shaw took the puck in his own corner and threw it to Richard Panik. The problem is that Shaw no longer plays on hte same team as Panik. Then he almost broke Michal Kempny's neck with a borderline hit, very late in the third period.
  • Jordin Tootoo sat for this one. THANK YOU, JOEL QUENNEVILLE! Coincidence that they played their best game of the year? It's nice when you have 4th line skill that you can roll up 3 lines and not lose much.

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Hartman - Toews - Kane
Panarin - Anisimov - Hossa
Desjardins - Kruger - Panik
Hinostroza - Rasmussen - Schmaltz

Keith - Campbell
Kempny - Seabrook
Forsling - Hjalmarsson


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