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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Boss 81 Officially Out, Morin Officially in, Boynton Officially Useless

As reported by Tracy Myers at CSN, Boss 81 collided with Dick Boynton, and was assisted off the ice during yesterday's practice favoring his right leg. Today it was announced that Boss 81 will be out 2-3 weeks with the always exciting and specific "lower body injury". This could mean that he misses as few as 6, or as many as 9 games. One can only guess as to the exact nature but I'd guess a knee or an ankle tweak, because we already know he can skate with his balls of steel. This could be disastrous for Kopecky, because without his #81 security blanket he tends to disappear. Mix that with the fact that Bolland has been completely useless and Bickell can't do much but shoot the puck, and you have the makings of something aweful. As a result of the injury, Jeremy Morin hopped a Greyhound from Rockford, and will probably be skating with Sharpie and Troy Brouwer tonight. Let's hope Morin's first trip to the doghouse was enough to keep him from pissing on the carpet anymore, because I doubt Quenneville will have him on a very long leash. I'm looking forward to seeing his first NHL goal, and hoping it comes very soon. Good luck, 27!

Also, All signs point to Pisani being out again tonight, and instant YouTube legend Big Show Scott on the Forth line. I'm actually good with this, because St Louis is known for their douche baggery, and dress noted ball sack Cam Janssen. I'm looking for a Scott vs. Janssen main event, tonight. If Scott can do that, I'll start to give him some serious consideration as a legit league enforcer, otherwise he's still just a big, ugly, slow, waste of space. Any assclown can have their 10 seconds of fame on YouTube, but it takes some work to gain a reputation in this league, kid.

Lastly, The Hawks will face Ty Conklin tonight, so we don't have to worry about any Jaroslav Halak heroics. Thank GOD!

Here are your lines for tonight:
Pick-To-Click Vik / Captain Serious / Kaner
Brouwer / Sharpie / Morin
Bickell / Bolland / Kopecky
Big Show / Jake The Snake / Skillington

Sunday, November 28, 2010

King Crawford

The first period wasn't exactly worth staying up for. Other than a couple of Hawks chances, the Kings had the majority of quality chances on tips. No harm, no foul, as the period finished 0-0. The Second started with a lot of the same. Powerplays both ways, but no goals. Finally, about halfway through the Hawks broke through on a great goal, and the second period ended 1-0. The Third opened up with a fluke goal by the Hawks, and the Kings finally dented the net thanks to a 5-on-3. The scoring ended there, and the Hawks go home after a 4-2 road trip for the second year in a row.

The Good
Corey Crawford looked great again. He seemed to be in front of every tip and every shot. On top of his game, for sure. I've always liked this kid, and nothing makes me happier than to see him succeed. Keep it up, Corey.

Finally, we're seeing some Pick-To-Click Vik on the powerplay, even if all talent is sucked out of him by Bolland and Brouwer. It's a step in the right direction.

That was the Shooter and Kaner I know and love. You can't get a more perfect and pretty goal, on a 2-on-1, with two more hungry snipers. That was simply unfair, and the crumpled mess of goalie and defensman in the net was evidence of that. If that was at home, it would warrant a standing ovation.

ATTENTION: This is not a typo or misplacement. For the first time EVER you are going to see John Scott in the GOOD category. The "ultra-mo" of Scott Pummeling Kevin Westgarth's face, was an INSTANT classic. GREAT use of the available technology! BUT, and this is a big "but", if Pat Foley is going to keep up this "(random worthless cementhead), you have just been THUNDERSTRUCK" I'm going to have the choke the life out of him. PLEASE, knock that dumb shit off. It's cliche and painfully moronic. I use to proudly watch wrestling and that silly shit is even too embarrassing for the WWE. Anyhow, I don't want to rain on Scott's parade, so great fight Big John.

The Bad
Did you notice Fernadog Pisani was out of the lineup before Pat and Eddie mentioned it? I didn't think so. He's been Dave Bolland invisible for a while now. And speaking of Dave Bolland, how does that leg feel after taking that shot in the wheel?

The result was good, but the second Hawks goal was a bad one for the Kings. Sloppy and and fluke. We'll take it, and so will Kane.

Dave Bolland needs to carry Corey Crawford's bags back to Chicago for putting him in that 3-on-5 situation. Number 36...dragging down teammates since September of 2010.

The Ugly
With that failure of a mustache, Drew Doughty looks like his name should be Dirty Sanchez. Please put that mess out of it's misery. Chuck Norris's beard is offended, you little twit.

Here are the video highlights:

Friday, November 26, 2010

Duck Hunt

So, after the San Jose debacle, Quenneville decided to change up the defensive pairings and rightfully so. Keith was back with his hetero-lifemate Seabrook, Campbell was back with Hammer, and the wonder duo of Cullimore and Boynton were together. I feel sorry for anyone working with that line, because that's a boat full of suck.

The Good
Corey Crawford looked good early and often, especially on the Sexton breakaway. You can't fault him for a powerplay tip five feet in front of the net. He's moving better and better each game, and that's very promising if this Turco experiment goes bad. I couldn't be more happy to see Crawford do well.

The shorthanded goal led by Patrick Sharp that Duncan Keith snuck between Hiller's pads. I can't say enough about the patience of Shooter to curl around, and let his teammates catch up without giving up possesion of the puck, and then following it up with a great pass to Duncs. HUGE goal under HUGE circumstances. That's exactly what Captains should be doing. Sharpie, Duncs, and Toews all taking part in a crucial play. It's about time!

Pick-to-click Vik looked like a mad man out there. He was skating past EVERYONE, and was beating every Ducks D-Man to the loose pucks. I really think I read somewhere that Stalberg could end up matched with the Dynamic Duo, when all is said and done. Must have been some strikingly handsome guy.

HJAAAAAAAAL-MAR-SSON! Finally, we see something other than Nik eating puck sammiches. He made a nice play around the Ducks winger to open up a lane and blasted it past Hiller. A well deserved goal for a guy that has had to take up an ugly job and an awful beating thus far for the Hawks.

IT'S ALIIIIIVE! Troy Brouwer finally showed up for a game with a big hit causing a turnover, and then finishing the play on the other end with a goal. I guess all you need to do to wake someone up is put them on the forth line. "Dave Bolland, Calling Dave Bolland. Your spot on line four is calling you!". Just too bad Skille has been there all season and has shown to be more than alive, but continues to be banished to Siberia.

The Bad
The Ducks powerplay goal, was a bad tip. What can ya do? The defense should have been giving Sexton more of "the business", but they didn't and it ended up in the net. With so much going on in a shorthanded situation, it's hard to do everything perfect, which they obviously didn't do.

The Ducks Andy Sutton just happens to be a enormous vagina. As much as I don't like Cullimore, I don't want to see him decapitated by Sutton, and it's nice to see Boynton show signs of life other than giving the puck up in his own zone. I would have liked to see Nick pound his fist down Sutton's throat for the attempted homicide, but Sutton is a huge vag and just grabbed Boynton and held on for dear life. Sissy bitch. Take your medicine like a man. Sure enough, Karma kicked his ass, when he turned it over to Sharpie, who tickled a little top cheese on Hiller.

The Ugly
Not much ugly here, and since Eddie was reminiscing about Ox Baker, I thought I'd post up the autographed picture he was talking about...

Here are the video highlights:

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Sharkfin Beat Down

Well, it looks like the Sharks decided that throwing their bodies around was the best redemption for getting swept last spring. I generally think the Sharks are a bunch of overrated crybaby little girls, but there is one Shark I'd love to see paroling the Hawks blue line. Doug Murray. The guy is an absolute TANK! Tell me that Murray wouldn't look nice blasting a shoulder into Pavel Datsyuk. Anyway, the game...and the schmutz on the Hawks face.

The Good
For the first time this year it was the Hawks that scored a few seconds after being scored on. Of course it was the "fourth line", AGAIN. Excellent job by Dowell and Skille just going to the net and making something happen. Too bad it, once again, got them zero reward.

Boss 81 showed the entire Hawks team how to use your body to take the puck. He was really the only consistently aggressive forward, which is no big surprise because he is the best puck control player on the ice most nights.

The Bad
The Hawks pretty much got their asses kicked for the entire game, which is the reason they went into the second period down 0-1, into the third down 1-3, and into the locker room losing 2-5. I know that they were probably still hung over from that $35K bottle of bubbly in Vegas. You can hit something in a Teal and White jersey at some point in the game, fellas. Calling Bryan Bickell and Troy Brouwer. HIT SOMETHING! They made Antti Niemi look good for a change this season, which is quite a feat. I'm just going to love hearing the Turco/Niemi chatter from the bandwagon brigade, after this.

I think there was an official Dave Bolland sighting. Too bad it was taking a crosschecking penalty, which is the only thing he's done right this season. Of course, the Sharks ended up scoring on the powerplay. Atta boy, Davey. He added to the suckfest by hanging onto the puck during the 5-on-3 to screw that up, and finished off by not converting on what looked to be a sure wraparound goal. Lookin good, Davey.

Troy Brouwer showed up for the game. Just too bad it was to have his sissy ass kicked by Ryan Clowe. He might be eating soft foods for Thanksgiving, after the beating his jaw took.

When Toews was unavailable for a powerplay in the second, Quenneville put Tomas Kopecky out on the ice with the first PP group, which literally made me laugh outloud. Stupid.

Jassen Cullimore was simply outmatched on the last PPG by Marleau. He's just not a good player. No matter who you hide him with, he's going to be big, slow and BAD. Hell, Jordan Hendry can pull that. He only player 6 minutes and 49 seconds, so the played with 5 defensemen all night. That worked well.

Jack Skille got his usual second least amount of ice time, right after Cullimore. I guess he's just a wind up toy that Quenneville expects to be able to throw out there and be in top form. The good and bad of it is that he usually is in top form.

The Ugly
I love watching Nick Boynton pass up open shot, while he waits for defensman's shin pads to shoot into and then fall down when it gets turned back the other way. Who really wants an open shot from 20 feet out anyway, Nick? Cementhead. Thank god Keith bailed his dumb ass out. Not to be outdone the next shift, Boynton turned it over in his own zone, and it ended up in the back of the net. This love affair with Nick Boynton needs to end NOW, because if he's not going to hit someone, he's useless. As I yelled to myself, "FUCKING BOYNTON!". Nick the Dick did it again by turning over the puck that lead to the Sharks powerplay goal. Thats the wrong kind of hat trick, dude.

Here are the video highlights:

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Reigning at Club Baba-Lu

Assclown Kevin Bieksa does his dolphin impression

Now, that's a LITTLE more like it. Moustachio shook up the lines and it seemed to light a fire under the asses of the Hawks. Crawford was in net and he deserved to be after the lackluster effort by Turco last night.

Let me also add that I absolutely LOVE the "green men" of Vancouver. Every time the Hawks got a penalty they made me laugh my ass off. My hat goes off to them, because they are about as entertaining as any fan in sports. If you don't find these guys funny, you have no sense of humor:

The Good
Well, what do you know? The Hawks actually DO care. When they play Vancouver, that is. I know this will go overlooked, but Corey Crawford played an excellent game. He deserves a lot of credit. Early on, when it was close, he kept the puck out of the net on a few nice chances. He deserves the shutout, but it's hard to stay sharp on D when you have a 7 goal lead. Boss 81 had a nice three point night, as well.

Captain Serious set off the nights festivities with a nice tip of a Boss 81 pass. Jonny B Goode started off the scoring the other night in Edmonton and he opened up the floor gates in Vancouver.

Troy Brouwer finally showed that he has some nuts in that jockstrap, with a great power move to the net. That's the first time all season that I've seen Brouwer care enough to do something positive. Maybe he could clue Bolland in on how to join the action.

Finally, the powerplay decided to start clicking with the Seabrook goal. What more can be said? Baba-Lu should have had that one, but its so fun watching Baba-Lu give up weak goals.

As bad as they looked against Calgary, they looked that GOOD last night. Sharpie put the exclamation mark on Baba-Lu's night with a slick little goal. I'm sorry, but Luongo might be the most overrated goalie in the league. He's clearly a serviceable goalie but he gets WAY too much credit. Crybaby little girl.

Cory Schnieder really didn't get much more help, and you can tell what kind of welcome it is when Fernando Pisani is sniping you; TWICE! Not only that, but BRYAN BICKELL, and DAVID FUCKING BOLLAND were the ones that fed him the puck. Yikes! That still doesn't count as a Dave Bolland sighting, and I'm tired of pointing out that he's been completely ineffective.

PAT by Kaner...against douchebag Kevin Bieksa...eat shit Vancouver and your Club Baba-Lu.

The Bad
Giving up a shorthanded 3-on-1 is just sad. C'mon guys. They can thank Seabrook and Crawford for bailing their asses out on that crap.

I really can't complain, but the calls against Vancouver were really 50/50. The Hawks looked really good, but Vancouver didn't get much help from the officials. What I say to that is, "Waaaa!".

Kevin Bieksa is a complete assclown. Crosschecking a defenseless guy in the back when you're down 6-0, and then punching him in the back of the head? Really? Scumbag.

The Ugly
I still hate this Brouwer-Bolland-Kopecky crap on the powerplay. It's BRUTAL. I don't know what Quenneville sees in this, but it's not working. I guess Stalberg or Skille aren't a better option, eh? Can't he just give it a try? For my sanity? I'm tired of cursing them out on every powerplay. I get that Bickell and Pisani earned some PP time later in the game, but Skille and Stalberg deserve more, as well.

When Andrew Alberts got his penalty against Troy Brouwer, in the second, you could clearly hear someone on the ice say, "Fuck you, Alberts". Hilarious. Someone call the FCC.

Here are the video highlights:

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Flaming Ass Syndrome

Well, I told you it was a little early for the circle jerk. The Hawks walked into Calgary and got their sorry asses handed to them. The were outshot, outplayed, outhit and pretty much outclassed. For what it was worth, the game was over after 2 periods, where the Hawks had already given up 4 goals and 30 shots. Dogshit soup was on the menu once again. So much for winning the circus trip.

The Good
The Hawks first goal was just a rush up the ice by Skille, who just fired it at the net. I love seeing those high motor guys getting goals. Great goal, Just too bad it ended up being pointless.

The Brouwer goal was nice, but meant absolutely nothing, and I'm quite sure the Flames didn't care.

The Bad
Screw the bad. I'm going right to shit ugly, because it was. There was really no fire or heart in the second half of the game. Leave it up to the Hawks to allow a team that's playing like ass to dominate them.

The Ugly
This game was ugly from top to bottom. Start with the Captain right back down to the goalie. I'm not even sure it's worth the time to expand on just how sad this game was.

The first goal by Calgary was sad. Troy Brouwer failed to get the puck out of the zone and Hagman made him pay. Way to go, Brows. Keep showing that fire. Stay on the forth line. David Moss's PPG goal was a simple scenario where he outworked two over-matched defensmen. Queneville had Cullimore and Hjalmarsson out there, and that's not a good combo at all. First Iginla goal was a sloppy fucking mess against Hammer and Seabrook. The forth goal was sloppy penalty killing...blah blah blah.

Starting with goal number 5, it was just fucking pathetic, and really doesn't matter. They allowed Iginla to get a hat trick, when he was at a point in his season that he couldn't physically pick the puck up and put it in the net. Stellar, fellas. You looked like a bad men's league team. Enjoy your trip to Vancouver.

Here are the video highlights:

Thursday, November 18, 2010

How do They Sleep While Their Beds are Burning

We've been waiting 20 games for this, but lets not all drop our happy pants and fire up a circle jerk. This is the lowly Edmonton Oilers, and this is how we are SUPPOSED to beat them. You really have to ask yourself how in the hell the Hawks allowed themselves to be beaten twice by this team, AT HOME! Lets not even start the happy circle jerk after Friday's game, either, because the Flames aren't all that much better. Anyway, this is what it is, an easy win against a young struggling team. We'll take it.

The Good
The Hawks dominated the first period with 20 shots on net, and the second period wasn't any better. In the third, I got the feeling that it was one of those games where you really feel bad even shooting on net, towards the end. That's just embarrassing for the Oilers at home. Anyone who has played sports has been on the shit end of a landslide, and no one wants to watch that 7th or 8th goal put in. The Hawks CLEARLY called off the dogs in the third, because it could have been a 7-0 or 8-0 game.

Jonny Toews needed this game. It might just be his breakout game of 2010/11, and only time will tell. He was the lucky recipient of a juicy rebound after Patty Kane set up the play, with a nice feed to Seabrook. Toews beat it through Khabby's pads for a 1-0 lead. Jon's powerplay goal was just laughable. What more can you say than he got a very lucky bank shot? We'll take it, after the litany of horseshit we have endured this season. The third goal was a gift after a Duncan Keith-ian type turnover which Hossa fed to Toews, who ripped it past Khabby and it was 3-0. Natural Hat Trick for Captain Serious. It's nice to see the money men opening up the trip with some fire.

Poor Sharpie could have gotten a hat trick himself, but just couldn't find the net until his shorthanded goal, late in the second. He clearly has some sort of funk going on, because the Shooter of 12 games ago would have had 4 goals last night. It's the NHL and streaks happen.

Marty Turco, THIS is what you were brought here for. That previous 20 game mess, was all a test, we hope. Eighteen shots, few of them difficult, and Marty can turn in his time sheet. This was on the original bill of sale.

The Bad
Sloppy play early in the first shift or two lead to an Oiler powerplay when Bolland was guilty of finally doing something, for the first time this season. They recovered well and just rolled over the Oilers. I felt like I was watching the Chicago Globetrotters playing the Edmonton Generals for the rest of the game.

It's hard to find bad in a game that the opponent doesn't even show up for, but Bryan Bickell just looked completely out of place when handling the puck. Yes, I know he scored that meaningless goal, so he can obviously shoot, but passing and carrying the puck is painfully embarrassing. It really never mattered, but the team could use a LITTLE puck control out of him. I know, I'm really nit-picking, but it's really the only noticeably bad.

The Ugly
There was one ray of light for the Oilers, and ugly play for the Hawks, midway through the second. Ales Hemsky lead a shorthanded chance into the Hawks zone and schooled Dave Bolland, then Brian Campbell, and for good measure Duncan Keith had to be included in the festivities. Hemsky then sent a perfect feed over to a wide open Dustin Penner, who shot it at the one spot that he shouldn't have. I know I'm not the only one that thought he scored, and first glance. Even TURCO had the expression of a dog that just pissed in the house, and judging by Dunc's reaction; he thought it went in, too. I STILL want to know what Dunc is doing in this play. He floats back, parks in front of Marty, gets hypnotized by Hemsky's puck control, then doesn't pick up the trailing forward, and allows him to take the pass and fire it on his goalie. This all begs to ask what Brouwer, Bolland, and Kopecky are doing out there together with Campbell, and Keith on a powerplay. For the ten billionth time, that is NOT a powerplay line. Not now, not ever. That line is such a bad combination that I might beg Bryan Bickell to carry the puck for them. Yes, THAT BAD. Anyway, Watch it for yourself:

I guess you can sleepwalk through a play when you're up 3-0, on a powerplay, and dominating every other second of the game. I have nothing else.

Here are the complete video highlights:

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I Got 99 Problems and a Bitch Ain't One

As I was listening to the replay of the Howard Stern show, Jay-Z was being interviewed and discussed the aforementioned song. What an appropriate song for the state of the Hawks. Who'd have thunk that we'd be sitting on the ass edge of the circus trip in 7th place overall, at 9-9-2? Not even Carnac the Magnificent couldn't have predicted THESE growing pains. We're all left asking, "what now?". No one has the magic solution, but there are always common sense, but who believes in THAT?

Very similar to the Hawks Clown Costumes

First of all, this Circus trip is an absolutely CRUCIAL trip. Ironic that the team is on a road trip so that the Circus can use the UC when the Hawks have been a Circus in the UC all season. Anyhow, No more bullshitting around, because they are a quarter of the way through the season, and looking VERY average. They must have a 4-2 road trip, which is not impossible at all. The 6 game left coast swing has them playing the Oilers, Flames, Canucks, Sharks, Ducks, and Kings. Let's say they can shake the Oiler monkey off their back, and beat the embarrassing Flames. San Jose is beatable, especially with Niemi in net, so that would leave the Hawks having to beat the Ducks or Canucks. Both are hot, but can obviously be beat. LA is just looking too strong, especially at the end of a six game, two week road swing. They need to call in sick NOW to that one, because they will need a miracle. It's not going to be easy, but it's not impossible to pull off that 4-2 record. It's about time that "road bonding" resulted in more than just increased playing time on X-Box, and Limo rides with disturbingly average looking Puck Bunnies.

Second, there needs to be a shake up. Call me extreme, among other things, but I suggest sitting Duncan Keith for a game. Throughout the league, coaches have been taking to scratching healthy MONEY players, to set an example. In NJ, John MacLean sat Kovalchuck, and in Buffalo, Coach Lindsey Ruff sat captain Craig Rivet for two games. Elsewhere, names like Wolski, Zherdev, Frolik, Antropov, Hudler, and Jason Blake have all watched games from the press box. Sitting a reigning Norris Trophy winner will make news, but a good 50% of Keith's game has been complete and utter dogshit soup, so sitting him would show the team that no one is untouchable. And make a few people sit up and take notice. Maybe light a flame under a few asses. The problem is that it's not the newer guy that aren't producing, it's the holdovers. Stalberg, Skille, Dowell, Pisani, Turco, and even Crawford have produced. I won't even breach the subject of John Scott, because in his case, it's not physically possible. This is a business and a professional sports team, so it's time the employees start being help responsible. I'd suggest a trade, but they really aren't in a position to do that, because it would either require taking on a high salary, or trading talent for prospects. Neither scenario really benefits the Hawks, and there is NO way they can take on a salary, in fact, they can't even call up some of the higher priced prospects because of their salaries.

Third would be rewarding players for their good play. I've said this at LEAST a hundred times, but players like Jake Dowell, and Jack Skille have done nothing to deserve continued forth line banishment. NOTHING. When you have shitheads out there like Dave Bolland, taking up valuable prime playing time, and even getting time on the powerplay, and yet Jake the Snake, and Jack Skillington sit there patiently watching people do NOTHING, something is wrong. Snake and Jack have done nothing but bust their asses, and there has been zero reward. Well, unless you call playing with John Scott on your other wing a reward. Even with that walking calamity playing with them, they still managed to play very well, and create chances. Can it really hurt to play one of them on the second powerplay unit? Does Troy Brouwer deserve that slot? Fuck no, he doesn't. Please explain to me how Kopecky, Bolland, Brouwer is an NHL powerplay unit. Campbell is the ONLY legit powerplay player in that whole group. Replacing Brouwer, or Bolland can't possibly hurt that group any more than it's hurting itself. Campbell must sit in a dark corner mumbling to himself, because this group is USELESS on the powerplay. Yes, Keith played with the second unit for last game, but that still gives you two PP QB's on the same line, and a bunch of turds deep in the zone. That's Shanghai Fire Drill material. Skille and Dowell can control the puck just as good as Kopecky or Fucking Brouwer, and Bolland, well, he'd misspell his own name, at this point. REWARD YOUR PLAYERS, MOUSTACHIO!

I know for a fact that I'm preaching to the choir, but at least we don't have Versteeg underachieving, or Niemi completely blowing.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Semi-Attractive Duckling

The Hawks had one last chance to get THIS Circus rolling before they leave for a 6 game road trip. Now comes the ACTUAL infamous Circus trip, but as of late, every Hawks game could be considered a Circus trip. Tell me if this sounds familiar; The Hawks go into a third period with a one goal lead, play a sloppy period, give up the lead, and head into overtime. Viktor Stalberg made sure that the game didn't end like it did Saturday against the Preds. At first glance, I thought Dave Bolland put the puck in, but then I realized that was simply impossible.

The Good
I'll start this off with the best part of the last two games...John Scott sat his big ass in the press box. Thank god for small favors. This was about 18 games too late.

The Powerplay was back, and they took advantage quickly. Kaners goal was a nice way to start the game. This powerplay should be named "Feast or Famine", because that's what it is. Either they look like world beaters or they look like dick beaters. There is no middle ground. The most noticeable change, this game, was the switching of Keith with Seabrook on the first powerplay line. Keith honestly deserved to be demoted after his poor play on recent powerplays, and Seabrook wasn't terrible. He wasn't lighting the world on fire, and he was shooting directly into every opposing players shin pads that he could find. I would ask Moustachio why Brian Campbell isn't capable of leading the first unit, but they got the job done last night, as is.

Hossa did a great job of following up after a nice post-to-post save from Hiller for the Hawks second goal on the powerplay. If at first you don't succeed, fire it right back at his 5-hole. With all the theatrics in OT, Boss's goal was sort of overlooked, but it was huge at the time.

Pick-to-Click Vik came up big for the second night in a row. He's shown that he belongs playing with the big boys. Just to remind you Versteeg lovers that cursed Stalberg. Kris Versteeg missed on another breakaway in spectacular fashion, but apparently he can still score on 8 year olds, which is a step up. Atta boy, Kris. That would make three goals on the season for you. All the while, Mr. Stalberg now has six goals, including last night's game winner. That's three short of his total last year in 40 games. A change of scenery has made a difference for both players, hasn't it?

The Bad
I don't know what more Dave Bolland needs to do, but even with an open net he can't seem put it in. I'm thinking that is a Dave Bolland stunt double, because the real Dave Bolland isn't that bad. Is he? He's skating with two of the top snipers in the game (although Kane is only playing like an AHL all-star), and can't manage to do a god damn thing.

After completely dominating the second period, they ONCE AGAIN couldn't hold the lead in the third. This shit is really old. What more do you need? Better conditioning? Better players? Holy shit on a shingle, guys. You're professionals, and you need to learn to play 60 minutes, and in this case 65, that does include the last 20. Not only that, but they out shoot a team 16-6 and can't manage more than one goal? They needed a powerplay to achieve THAT.

The second Anaheim goal was a beautiful play by Perry and a pitiful play by the Hawks. Hammer pretty much evacuated all over himself with that Perry head fake, and Perry did what a professional sniper does; SCORE. Take note Tazer, Kaner, and Shooter. THAT is how you do it. Not offer up a putrid backhand pass, once you're already in too close, and bank it of the defensman's skate harmlessly behind the net. Just saying, Jonny 3-on-2.

The Ugly
Duncan Keith was absolutely mugged in his own zone, and Corey Perry made no mistake, and put it in the back of the net. Clearly Duncs had his head firmly planted up his ass on that one. No matter how you Eddie tries to defend it, as a professional hockey player you have to feel the pressure on your back and GET THE FUCKING PUCK OUT OF THE ZONE! He had a wide open guy on his left and just had to chip it up. How does one win the Norris trophy and then play like he's never played the position before? He later decided that it was a great idea to show off his spin-o-rama in front of his own net and turned the puck over, while blowing a tire. What the fuck, Dunc...what...the...fuck? Nick Boynton has to be wondering what he did wrong to deserve this punishment. Maybe Duncs needs a night off, because something is clearly wrong. VERY wrong. Yes, he made a nice pass for the game winner, but do we have really have to suffer through two or three complete asshole plays to get one nice one? If that's the case, he's going to be minus 30 on the season and the Hawks fan suicide rate is going to go up drastically.

Lines One (Stalberg-Toews-Sharp) and Four (Bickell-Dowell-Skille) seem to be nicely set up, but what the hell is this shit on the second (Kane-Bolland-Hossa) and third (Brouwer-Pisani-Kopecky)lines? Boss 81 and Kane still seem to make opportunities, even when they are playing awful, but Dave Bolland is DRAGGING that line down the shitpipe. I don't get how Q puts two puck controlling wings on the same line. Do they have to duel to the death for possession of the puck? Doesn't make sense at all. And for the third line all I can say is, "YIKES!". Brouwer has done absolutely NOTHING, Pisani has a decent two game stretch, and Kopecky looks LOST because he's out there with ZERO talent. Who is the possession guy on that line? And by possession I don't mean "the guy who turns possession over to the opposing team".

Here are the video highlights:

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Screw the Chopa, the Sky is Falling

Linesman Pierre Racicot took the night off to referee a midget wrestling match

It just continues to get more and more frustrating for the Hawks, and I've run out of patience. The core of the team continues to sleep through the games, and the people like Skille and Stalberg continue to surprise. Unfortunately, that's not enough, and the Hawks gave up another lead. You have to have your money guys on the score sheet. I do like the new line configuration, because they don't include John Scott. Only four shots in the third period, guys? Obviously, that's not going to do it.

The Good
Jon Toews looked like he cared for one of the few times this season, at least in the first half of the game. He really disappeared when they needed him. Would have been real nice to actually score one in the shootout, wouldn't it Captain Serious? Stellar!

Jack Skillington FINALLY finished a play. Lets home he has as much luck with the ladies. He was seriously overdue. His first goal was on a nice little feed from Campbell. His second goal was even better than the first. Jake Dowell set him up beautifully and he made no mistake. I could not be happier to see him finally get the forth line monkey off his back. I hope this is going to be the start of some more of Skillington in the coal column.

Pick-to-Click Vik had a rocket of a wrist shot for a goal. You couldn't place that any better. Just a reminder, that Kris Versteeg has a grand tot al of 2 goals, 5 assists and Vik had 5 goals and 4 assists. This trade has been a pleasant win, thus far.

Bryan Bickell had a highlight reel hit on Patrick Hornqvist. I love to see Bickell use his size to absolutely railroad someone with their head down. He was where he belonged, last night; the forth line. I really like this combination of Skillington, Dowell, and Bickell, even though Skille belongs higher on the depth chart, but for the moment, it'll do.

The Bad
Dave Bolland returned from injury? Could have fooled me. Apparently, they didn't remove his head from his ass, like originally thought.

Turco didn't have to wait long for his first huge save. 15 seconds in and he had to make a post to post stop. The rest of the night pretty much went the same way, as the Preds crashed the net hard all night. I think the D needs to come up with a new philosophy, that includes not letting people bowl your goalie over. Just a thought.

The Shane O'Brien goal was setup very nicely by Marcel Goc, but Pat Kane really just decided that he is far too important to play defense. For all you young hockey players out there, that is not how you cover your guy. That'll be one of the easiest goals O'Brien will ever score, and he can thank Kaner for that. I'd prefer that Q kicks him in the ass. Maybe Kaner needs some time on the bench too.

The Nashville PPG by Shea Weber wasn't exactly a thing of beauty. Turco got a piece of it, but it squirted through, and into the net. That's one he has to have back, and as usual, that cost them.

The Ugly
Eddie and Pat continue to point out that if a team doesn't score on a 5-on-3, they generally don't win, and the Hawks continue to support that. The NEEDED to put the game away with that 5-on-3, and they couldn't finish. Same story, different day.

The Refs really neutered the Hawks by giving Kaner that tripping penalty in the OT, because there is zero chance you're going to get some quality chances down the ice when you're killing a 4-on-3. I will give the boys credit, though, and Turco played like a man possessed. It was all for naught, because of the stupid shootout. Fucking shootouts!

Toews missed the net
O'Reilly beat Turco (contrary to Pat's call, it was not 5-hole)
Kaner was stopped by Rinne
Sullivan was stopped by Turco
Shooter looked like Kovalchuck and couldn't even get shot off.

(Vomit)Preds win, kill me now!

Here are the video highlights:

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Coyote Ugly

"Watch me poop out this puck in your general direction"

I feel like this is deja vu all over again. Weren't we just here? Didn't we just watch this embarrassing mess once already? It this the encore replay of the Oilers game? Jesus GOD, this is getting old. This is the definition of "assisted suicide".

The Good
I can't believe I'm going to say this, but when Bickell was circling around before his goal, I thought it was Toews, and so did Pat Foley. Someone had to have talked to him because he has NEVER stickhandled OR SKATED like that before. I can't even come up with a clever analogy, because I'm shocked. Bryan Bickell, nice play. You get a pass for the rest of that game, for that one play. If you would have told me that the only Hawks goal would be by Bryan Bickell from Troy Brouwer, I would have punched you for trying to bullshit me.

The new lines generated some great energy, in the first period, as the Hawks had 14 shots on net. They actually looked dominating for one of the few times this season. Of course that lasted an entire 20 minutes, because they could only cash in on one of the 14 first period chances and the shitshow started in the second. Consistent, guys, consistently inconsistent.

Jack Skillington showed some coconuts by dropping the gloves even though the guy he fought had pillow fists. He gets a shot and a beer for the effort. Greco-roman man-hug aside, he also played with some heart, and a hint of attitude. I was one of those critics that said he was an underachiever and this was his last shot. Well, is IS his last shot, but he has answered every call out. He goes to the net with complete reckless abandon, he fights, he shoots, the only thing he hasn't done is finish. I have to think this will come with time.

The Bad
Just about everything from minute 21 until minute 60. You're facing a backup goalie, for a team that was in last place in their division, giving up the second most goals in their division. So what does this team do? Barely muster up one goal, that only went in because a Coyote defenseman tipped it between his own goalie's legs. That's it. They should be able to win every game 1-0 right?

Skillington gets the dual duty tonight, of being both the good AND the bad. This is by no fault of his own though, because Quenneville gets all the blame on this one. Once again though, second least amount of playing time. AWESOME! The sense of this is comical. Wouldn't want to throw people off with more than 9 minutes of the human wrecking ball, would we?

The Ugly
Fucking Duncan Keith. Yes, YOU, FUCKING DUNCAN KEITH! There is such a thing as being too aggressive and having too much confidence in your own speed. The sole reason the Yotes scored the two quick goals, in the second, was our NORRIS TROPHY WINNING DEFENSEMAN was caught pinching in too deep, and he left his brand new partner, Nick Boynton, hung out to dry. Now, yes, Turco should have been able to take the shot on the second goal, but really? The same stupid mistake twice in the same shift? What...is...going...ON? Minus TWO, Duncs. In 35 seconds, you collected the dubious honor of being a minus 2! Nick Boynton must be BEGGING to be thrown back to the third pairing, and Seabrook must have been secretly breathing a sigh of relief. A fitting end to this night would have been Duncan Keith pulling out his replica Norris Trophy and and pissing on it, as Joel Quenneville watches and says, "Oh, you missed some, right there". We have all been taken to some bizzaro alternate universe. After that second Phoenix goal, I had the same reaction as Matt Killion at Second City Hockey: "Shoot me in the face". That says it all, and thank you Matt.

John Scott, again, always and forever. Four minutes and thirty three seconds of fucking ice time. 4:33! I saw Patrick Kane double shifted on that line, because FrankenScott is dressed and sitting in the best seat in the house. Is John Scott's contribution SO important that he needs to actually DRESS, for four and a half minutes of ice time? Let me answer that. NO! Joel, I'm thoroughly BAFFLED! Tell me what four minutes of John Scott did for the Chicago Blackhawks last night. PLEASE; because I'd like to hear this. I could name a team full of AHL'ers that would have, and could have, contributed more. In fact, I could probably name 50 beer league guys that could have. It's ridiculous. Enough, PLEASE! I cry "uncle"!

Here are the video highlights:

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Morin Sent Packing

In an uneventful move, 19 year old rookie Jeremy Morin was sent back to the Ice Hogs, Monday afternoon. Considering he only played 18:57 in two games, and Boss 81 is back from injury, it doesn't surprise may that he was sent down. His short amount of playing time was a combination of injury and Moustachio's doghouse. The kid has talent, and was hit with some bad luck, getting hurt Saturday against Atlanta. Then he produced an awful turnover at the blue line, in the Oilers game that led to Taylor Hall skating in on Corey Crawford, one-on one. Off to the doghouse for that gaffe, Junior.

I guess we're going to have to continue to suffer with this embarrassingly atrocious John Scott show for a while longer, which just elates me to no end. I'm surprised to see Jassen Cullimore still rotting away in the press box, night after night, because he hasn't played that bad at all, and are we that sure that we need Jassen Cullimore as a security blanket? Just what a 37 year old defenseman in the dusk of he career needs; front row seats to the latest shitshow on ice. Once Bolland comes back from having his head removed from his sphincter, I would expect to see some shuffling around. Cullimore has to be the odd man out, right? One would think; but if we've learned one thing, it's that StanBo and Moustachio can be unpredictable, to put it lightly. That being said, they really don't have many options to clear up salary. I'd like to say this clears some room for a little more Jack Skillington, but we all know that's not in the cards. Forth line purgatory for you, sir! Ho Hum!

Monday, November 8, 2010

When Casual Fans Strike Again

The whole reason I began this column is that I was tired of watching idiots spew their moronic B.S. all over the internet, regarding the Blackhawks. I felt the need to debunk the stupid comments, and I've done a pretty damn good job, thus far. SO, yesterday afternoon, I saw a comment on a person's Facebook regarding Kris Versteeg attending the Bears game in Toronto, but it was the following comments that set me off, and resulted in another barrel of ownage.

Guy 1 : Stallberg is better

Guy 2 : a guy who's had 13 goals in his career isn't better..

ME : Versteeg is really showing that he can only score when he's hidden behind stellar talent and Stalberg is outscoring him.

Guy 1 : Thanks Jeff for backing me up right on .

Guy 2 : learn how to read. I said career you tool.

Guy 2 : Apparently, you can't read either Jeff. Career goals i'm talking about.

ME : Career numbers have NOTHING to do with the current situation, you tool bag. He's skating on the first line with one of the best goal scorers in the league and can't manage more than 5 points in 13 games. What more do you need? Because Versteeg broke into the league before Stalberg makes him a better player? Puhleez. He's a second tier player.

Guy 2 : And you're a clueless idiot. Saying a guy that has 13 CAREER goals is better compared to a guy that has 46 career goals..suggest both of you need to look in the mirror.

Guy 2 : and when both of you have a lick of hockey knowledge, get back to me.

Guy 1 : Oooooooooooo mr hockey ova here who made you Don Cherry Tool.

ME : Yeah that's like saying Gordie Howe is better than Stalberg, currently, because he has more career points. Your hockey knowledge is astounding everyone here, genius. Stalberg has a total of 55 career games, and 40 of them were with an atrocious team. Versteeg has total of 221. Of course he's going to outscore someone with 55. Don't tell me about hockey knowledge.

No Retort...


Spoiled Oil

"Maybe if I imitate MJ, Coach won't bench me...guess not"

I know this sounds like a broken fucking record, but talk about a frustrating loss. Just when I thought things might start to hit the upswing, with Boss 81 back in the lineup, and they play a game like this. Stellar job throwing away two points, and playing 59 minutes and 46 seconds, fellas. Thanks for the effort.

Before I get into this shitshow circus, I want to suggest that you all take a gander over at Second City Hockey, and check out an article written by a guy that I have great respect for, Sam Fels from The Committed Indian. It's a good read, and it mirror's my feeling exactly.

How Soon is Now?

The Good
Fernando Pisani had a nice goal against his ex-mates, off an Oiler turnover, after a nice one handed feed by Jack Skillington. Again, Skille is one of the most energetic players on the ice, and that energy resulted in the only Blackhawks goal.

After just a few shifts, Boss 81 showed why he's simply better than everyone else on the ice, but didn't show up in the scoring. I thought maybe this would inspire someone to do, well, SOMETHING. Toews and Kane went back into hibernation, after their "Odd Couple" game of the year.

The Bad
Jeremy Morin was basically benched after turning over the puck at the blue line resulting in a Taylor Hall breakaway. That's not really the way to work on a rookies confidence, but what do I know? If you're not going to play him, send him back to Rockford. Don't waste the nine games they have before a year drops off his contract, by sitting him on the bench. The logic in this astounds me.

What was Skille rewarded with after his hustle lead to the Hawks only goal? A grand total of 9 minutes and 25 seconds of ice time. The only people to see less were FrankenScott and Morin. I'm so tired of pointing this out game after game, but it's clearly working, isn't it? Again, what do I know?

Former Blackhawk Jim Vandermeer completely rocked TomoKop, so mush so that it dislodged the glass. There is your 3 seconds of fame, Jimmy. I think the glass, itself, hurt Kopecky more.

I was ALWAYS a big fan of Nikolai Khabibulin, and I've made that known, so I can't say it broke my heart to see him make that beautiful save on Toews. That is a very difficult save to make, and it basically won the game for the Oilers. I just wish it was made in a losing effort. I'm still a fan.

By the way, Shooter has not only dropped down to a -11 on the ice, but he has apparently lost his scoring touch. Just Peachy.

The Ugly
Poor Corey Crawford can't catch a break. He played a great game and accrued the loss, because of two sloppy defensive breakdowns in 14 seconds. It really IS sad. Yes, he over perused the original shot from the point, and was late getting over to the far post, but once again, our NORRIS TROPHY WINNING DEFENSEMAN was on the case. Case closed, right? Crawford did made a really nice save on Taylor Hall, after a bad Jeremy Morin turnover.

Yep, once again John Scott. He might have taken the most ugly slapshots ever taken, early in the first, when he broke his stick. Then made a spectacle of himself by breaking roughly $600 in sticks, in the first period alone. Those sticks were worth more than John Scott's career. He did somewhat redeem himself by repeatedly punching fuck stick Zack Stortini's face, but he still has a very limited skill set. Is it really even worth him getting dressed for 5 minutes and 38 seconds of ice time? Is it me, or is our "tough guy" not so tough? Stortini was looking for some ass a few shifts earlier, and Scott whimpered away like puppy that just got smacked. What's wrong John? You need an invitation and a permission slip from mommy to dance? Obviously, Stortini wasn't very scared of him, as he chased him down between whistles. For that, I crafted this portrait of John Scott:

Here are the video highlights:

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Hot-Lanta Shootout at the OK Coral

Well that wasn't very pretty, was it? The job was accomplished but talk about a barn burner. It wasn't exactly the Dead Wings they played last night, and yet they let Atlanta stay in the game. At times Atlanta looked like they might even run away with it. As they would say in the UK, Complete Rubbish!

The Good
Patrick Kane decided to wear his big girl panties last night with a powerplay goal over the glove of Pavelec, following a scrum in front of the net. HurriKaner looked like the player of late last year, and even showed he has a little Marian Hossa in him. When he had the puck on his stick, he didn't give it up until he was tired of it, with the exception of a slight lull in beginning of the second period, otherwise he was dominant.

Jonny B Goode also finally found his man shoes and played one of his best games of the year. Toews powerplay goal off a Seabrook shot that went wide and ricocheted hard off the back boards began the scoring. Toews later beat Flufflien and another Atlanta D-Man for a very basic but effective breakaway goal in his typical blue collar fashion following the Quenneville timeout. That goal was absolutely crucial after giving up the two go ahead to goals to Atlanta. That's what a captain does. Toews also set up an ugly goal by taking the puck from Pavalec from behind the net and feeling Kaner for the game tying goal.

Jeremy Morin did nothing to make me think that he belongs anywhere but playing with the Hawks, although he went off the ice with an injury early in the third, and could see some time on the IR. He made an effort to come back out and try his leg, but was obviously laboring. Unfortunate for the talented rookie, and for the fans hoping to see him tonight at the UC.

The Bad
Atlanta's first goal on the powerplay was just far too easy. Bad angle, and bad goal all around. Turco needs to make that save.

The defense all around has looked tentative and fragile, like they are too paranoid about making a mistake. That's a What happened to that arrogance and bravado from last year? I watched Keith, and Seabrook just stand there and let Jim Slater slash Turco, without much retliation. Hit him with your fucking purses! Don't let ANYONE hit your goalie, especially when he's in a vulnerable position. As Eddie pointed out the Thrashers were also crashing the net without much opposition at all.

There were FAR too many early Hawk penalties early in the game, and they clearly cost them. Once again they allowed far too many shots against. We didn't bring Turco here to face 40 shots a game against teams like Atlanta, so lets untuck our wieners and show a little toughness. Just a little food for thought, if any of you have the asinine thought that the Hawks miss Antti Niemi. He is facing 25 shots a game in San Jose and giving up 4 goals a game and gives up a goal every 7.81 shots. Marty the Midget is facing 30 shots a game here and gives up a goal every 11.22 shots. Enough said, and if there any Niemi supporters left, they can ceremoniously lick my taint.

Tomas Kopecky didn't exactly have the most well rounded game. He led a 4 on 2 early in the third and failed to even notice his teammates flying up the ice, and a few shifts later he had the puck with Duncan Keith WIDE OPEN for a heavy one timer, but never even acknowledged him or even looked up. Tunnel vision at it's best.

The Ugly
John FrankenScott is still a huge piece of human dung, and doesn't belong on the forth line. I'm going to reiterate this each and every time he takes someone else's ice time, because he flat out doesn't deserve it. They weren't in danger of a Ben Eager mugging, so they didn't need to waste

The start of the second period, was a compete atrocity with the Hawks giving up 2 goals in 55 seconds, and they looked like, well, the Atlanta Thrashers. Also, The Hawks penalty kill was simply fucking pitiful. Three powerplay goals against is just unacceptable and embarrassing. The weren't facing the Canucks, here, but the Atlanta powerplay IS freakishly good, by league standards, as they are 5th overall.

If I'm Jack Skillington, I'm wondering who's dog I kicked, because he is slowly wasting away on the forth line with absolute turds like Pisani and Scott. Call it chemistry, call it anything you want, but this is stupid. He's a hard nosed player but playing only 11 minutes of even strength time. the only players that played less were John FrankenScott and Jordan Hendry.

Andropov stopped by Turco
Toews was money on Pavelec
Ladder made no mistake on Turco
Shooter was beaten by Pavelec's glove
Peverly was stopped by Turco
HurriKaner missed the net with a backhand on Pavelec
Atlanta's Kane was stopped by Turco
Brouwer had the door shut by Pavelec
Byfuglien was poked by Turco
Pick-to-Click Vik wins it with a beautiful backhand top cheese

Here are the video highlights:

Friday, November 5, 2010

Morin to Make Hawks Debut in Atlanta

It looks like Christmas has come early for all the mouth breathing jackass journalists out there. Highly touted rookie Jeremy Morin was recalled from Rockford, today, and will make his debut against the team that traded him away this summer, the Atlanta Thrashers. Leave it up to the Hawks to write a great drama, just in time to take some heat off their atrocious play. You have the Hawks first game against former teammates Dustin Byfuglien, Andrew Ladd, Brent Sopel, and Ben Eager and then you throw in the top prospect that Atlanta traded away, and this is a whole made for TV movie. Excellent move, Stan-Bo.

After the backlash thrown around this city, following the pitiful Wednesday loss to the piss poor Devils, something needed to happen. This is a baby step in the right direction, but there is still yeoman's work to be done. Jeremy Morin is NOT going to win you games, yet. It will quiet the rabid crowd temporarily, but you can bet your ass that if they don't look well Saturday and Sunday, there will be hell to pay come Monday morning.

Morin has a contract that is fashioned like fellow youngster Nick Leddy. If they play more than 9 NHL games, they get a year dropped off their rookie contracts. This could come into play if he doesn't step on the ice Saturday and play like his life depended on it. There would be no use burning up a "cheap" year on his deal for sub-par numbers. I, personally, hope he lights the world on fire, but only time will tell. It'll be nice to have a #27 on the ice with some talent, again. Big ups to JR!


Thursday, November 4, 2010

Devil's Advocate


It's official, I'm thoroughly annoyed. It took 15 games to do it, but the taste in my mouth resembles the mixture of piss and murky pond water. Blame the injuries (New Jersey has more), blame the trades (only Buff and Ladd are even on the radar), blame Obama (why not everyone else is?), but it's time they start looking in the fucking mirror; starting with the Coach. I've been pretty level headed and patient, but this is simply ridiculous. I've made it through roughly 20% of the regular season without getting annoyed, which might be a new high for me. Lets lay out this dogshit circus, and I'm starting with the ugly, because it's only fitting.

The Ugly
Duncan, Duncan, Duncan; sit down, and let's talk for a few minutes. The second and third goals looked like carbon copies of each other. Puck ends up at Keith's feet, he jerks around with it for a second or two, the opponent just takes a whack, and it ends up in the back of the net. The third one, Turco was VERY lazy getting back to his post, but his NORRIS TROPHY WINNING D-MAN had the puck in a not so threatening position. You might understand why he might have let up for a second.

I love Sharpie to death, but as of this morning he is a -10. Yes, a fucking MINUS 10! Let me remind you that he leads the league in goals, powerplay goals, game winning goals, and shots on net. So, it's not that he's not on the ice for Blackhawks goals. He was a MINUS 5 last night ALONE! Not good, not good at all. No one should be leading the league in goals and a -10.

This is a misleading subject, but the forth line...wow. Just WOW! Granted they did not play a bad game, considering Moustachio dressed two defensemen as forwards, and a winger as their center. I'm going to ask the one question everyone else was thinking, Mr. Joel Norman Quenneville; ARE YOU HIGH?!?! With the group of talent this organization has laying around, the best forth line you can put together is Jordan Hendry, Fernando Pisani, and John Fucking Frankenscott? PLEASE! Don't insult my intelligence. That is the bottom of the barrel, my friends. Not only this, but if you think this line is a viable NHL fourth line, why was Fernando Pisani the only one of the three to play in the entire second half of the game? Now we're playing with 3 lines. AWESOME!

The Bad
I've pretty much laid out the shitshow that went on last night, but here are a few more thoughts.

On the first goal, Sharp (of course because he was on the ice for EVERY goal) and Kopecky took a break to adjust their g-strings, or something, and let Jason Arnott trot right in, like a show horse, for the first goal. Of course, all this is following Brian Campbell blindly turning it over behind his net with an NHL quality beautiful no look pass to Patrick Elias, because he was worried about a little contact. Aaaaaand, Arnott made no mistake, by parking it in the back of the net. Just how we drew it up, right guys?

This is bad for a different reason but, Martin Brodeur left the game at 14:12 of the second, with some kind of right flipper injury. Why is this bad for the Hawks? Because 105 year old Johan Hedberg not only played great, but kept the Devils in the game. Originally, the injury seemed to give the Hawks some fresh energy, but that was spent fairly quick.

The Good
I have half a mind to just leave this part blank, but, being the professional I am, here is the "not bad".

Brian Campbell had a good hit on Elias in the second, but that doesn't make up for the gift he gave Elias for that first goal.

Jack Skillington continues to show energy and had another breakaway, but Hedberg made a better save. Jack, dear, you need to work on finishing, now. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! ZIIIIIING!

Bickell was back, and rusty, but still didn't look as bad as Frankenscott, which is like saying Sopel wasn't as ugly as Medusa. You get the point.

Once again, Turco did not play bad. He nice save on a Kovalchuk breakaway, after Keith's shot missed the net and everyone watched it ricochet around the boards like a super ball. He had no chance on the Arnott goal, and like I said about the other two, they were freak plays where Keith sort of froze, allowing the opponent to get some kind of half ass shot towards the net. And Justin Bourne can kiss my ass regarding Turco..

Now that I've mentioned him, let me break off onto a slight tangent. Ilya Kovalchuk is a good player, but from all that I've seen, he's not GREAT. CERTAINLY not worth that bloated contract. Ten out of ten times, I will take Marian Hossa over Kovachuk. I have not seen Kovy control the puck like Boss does, I certainly have not seen him play defense like Boss does, and I have not seen him single-handedly control the play like Boss does. So every time someone bitches about Boss's contract, just remember; we could be paying and annual cap hit of $6,666,666 (666; Devils; get it? Real clever, Lou Lam) until 2025, for Ilya Kover-rated's defenseless ass instead.

Here are the video highlights:

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Ben Smith and Ryan Potulny sent to Rockford

No big surprise here. Ben Smith's spot on this team is interchangeable, and pretty much, so is Potulny's. Who knows what this means, in the grand scheme of things. Hossa is skating but his legs weren't the problem, and Bolland, maybe his lobotomy took. Actually, Bolland isn't eligible to play until Saturday, because of his status on the injured list. This could be a cap shuffle, like last season, or maybe they are going to look into a couple of other players. As much as I'd like to see what Kyle Beach has, his salary will keep him in Rockford all season, unless there is some emergency. Brandon Pirri, or Evan Brophey could be names we see. Jeremy Morin has 3 power play goals in Rockford but has been hurt, and Igor Makarov has 2 goals, but he is also a ridiculous -7 in 9 games. That doesn't look too well, when the big wigs are looking at numbers to impress them. Who really knows what they are thinking at this point. Sometimes, I think they literally throw all their choices into a hat or ask the magic 8-ball.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Sleep Walker, New York Rangers

Not exactly a memorable game, or a game that we'd WANT to remember, which is becoming a tragic theme. Brian Campbell was in the lineup for his first game of the season, and the Defense looked considerably better, by only allowing 23 shots, but the bad news is that 3 went in. Get well soon, Hoss.

The Good
Well, the powerplay goal once again came through on a goal by TomoKop, in the first, but again they had crucial powerplay chances that they had to come through on, and didn't. They had plenty of chances, but they are having major issues finishing.

Marty Turco played a decent game, but they only faced 23 total shots, while they unleashed 35 against Lundqvist.

Pick-to-Click Vik had great chance all alone in the slot, and Lundqvist made a better stop.

Hey, at least one of the NHL's Top 5 asshelmets, Sean Avery, didn't score, which would have made things oh so much more painful.

The Bad
Brouwer had another "blah" game, and wasted a prime chance by waiting too long, which resulted in him not even getting a shot on net. It looked like he was a two seconds behind on everything he did.

Kopecky and Seabrook completely fell asleep on the second Ranger goal right in front of Turco, and left Dubinsky wide open, while they stood there with their junk in their hands.

Again, the critical powerplay in the third that not only did they not score on, but took a penalty against. It feels like they score on powerplays that are the least important and when they really count, they are like a high school kid on his first date. Rushing the whole process and generally just being clumsy. King Henrik was stellar on the final powerplay, in the third, but they had plenty of chances before that, and it should have been tied up long before then.

Paint it any way you'd like, but I will never understand wasting time in John Scott playing wing. He's BRUTAL! As much as I think Bickell is over rated, I'd much rather see him out there than Scott. Bickell can organize his thoughts enough to pick up a rebound and put it in the general direction of the net. Even if his only two redeeming qualities are that he is big and can shoot, that's one more than Scott. In theory, Scott was a great idea with his size and fighting "ability", but when you see him play, you realize that he's not talented, and I still haven't seen him show he can punch his way out of a paper bag. Take for instance, Brian Boyle of the Rangers. He's 6'7" and weighs 240 lbs, which is roughly the same size as John Frankenscott. Boyle is by FAR a more talented player. Faster, can move his feet, can handle the puck, AND use his size. It's like night and day. I'm not even comparing Scott to Chara, which is just not even fair. Hell, put Boynton in and dress Hendry at forward, I don't care.

Lastly, Throwing Ben Smith in there with Dowell and Scott might be the the biggest epic facepalm of all. It's like baby bear, momma bear and daddy bear with their fucking porridge. All we need is a little blonde with pigtails, and I'm sure the Ice Crew can arrange that. I get the Potulny promotion, but Ben Smith just leaves me bewildered at this point. They don't need smaller people in the lineup, and there is no way in hell he's 5'11".

The Ugly
The Hawks second goal by Kane was just an awful goal for Lundqvist to give up. It was a terrible angle, and just a hope and a prayer thrown at the net. Kane was clearly looking for a rebound. Lucky break for the Hawks, but ugly nonetheless.

Of course the ugliest of the ugly was the Rangers third goal by Christensen. Sharpie couldn't get a piece of the puck as it snuck over his stick and Campbell played Maverick with a "fly by". The result is an emerging sniper one on one with your Goalie. You can blame Turco all you'd like, but that is what an NHL sniper should do when given that time. Blame the defensive breakdown for putting Turco in that spot. It was a nicely placed shot, and game over

This just in, the Rangers just blocked another 3 shot attempts.

Here are the video highlights:

Monday, November 1, 2010

Broad Street Bullies?

It's not often that I throw my two cents in about other teams in the league, but I came across some interesting developments from Saturday nights game between the Flyers and the Islanders, and had to weigh in. The Flyers opened up a whole barrel of whoop-ass on the Isles and things turned ugly fast. First, I give you the part that is actually entertaining, especially for all you people that just watch hockey for the fights. Isles tough guy Zenon Konopka (you have to be a tough guy with a name like that, someone call Johnny Cash), and noted Flyer asshelmet Dan Carcillo square off early in the third period with the Flyers up 4-0. In typical Carcillo fashion the festivities have to start off by giving the opponent a stick to the face. Always classy that Dan Carcillo is. That idiocy aside, you have to admire these two going at it, for this period of time. Imagine, if you will, two MMA fighters having to square off, on ice with skates on. How long do you think that would last? One punch, if they even made it out of their corners. Enjoy...

So, with one minute to go in the game, the Flyers were winning 6-1 and the Islanders were set to kill a 5-3. Flyer Waterbug Dan Briere decided it was time for him to throw in a major cheap shot on a defenseless player. Briere took exception to some yapping before the faceoff by Islander Frans Nielsen, and crosschecks him in the side of the face as Nielsen attempts to engage in the faceoff. At the same time, Carc-asshole punches Nielsen in the back, to complete the tagteam beatdown. This combination of events quickly sends Nielsen to the ice (luckily he doesn't seem hurt), but already killing a 5-3, I'm sure he was looking to draw an infraction. After this, the jackass three ring circus begins. Fragile Islander goalie Rick DiPietro tries to go after Briere, Carc-asshole jumps in, and the laundry gets thrown everywhere. There are quite a few observations I found amusing in this fracas, and feel free to see them for yourself in the video below:

-Rick DiPietro, while I understand his concern for his teammate, needs to keep his ass in the crease (those who know me will smirk at this). The guy is an NHL goalie that can't fall out of bed without getting some major season ending injury (and I'm a marginal Mens League goalie NOT making $4.5 million a year until 2021). Seriously Rick, GM Garth Snow is slitting his wrists watching you chase one of the leagues top douches around the ice. Carcillo wouldn't think twice about laying you out with some complete scumbag move.

-Watching DiPietro not be able to get his PINK blocker off to try and fight makes one giggle. Tough guy, with the glass jaw, in the pink pads can't get his mittens off?

-While I hate Chris Pronger, I had to laugh as he playfully grabs DiPietro and laughs in his face when Dipietro says something to him. I assume DiPietro asked Pronger to let him go after Carcillo, because, eventually, Pronger lets him go with a "go ahead" reaction. The whole time you can tell Pronger is finding this as completely hilarious as I do.

-Somewhere, Dan Carc-asshole just kicked a puppy, spit on an elderly person, and took Halloween candy from a small child.

-If you look at the laundry list of penalties below, from the game, something caught my eye. "New York Islanders - Goalie Leaving the Crease 2 mins - R.DiPietro served by D.Roloson". So, if I read this correctly and I must not be, DiPietro gets his deserved penalty, and it is served by the Isles backup goaltender? Really? I'm quite sure it has to be served by a player ON THE ICE, unless, in fact, there are no remaining players on the ice or on the bench. Interesting, and curious.


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