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Thursday, September 29, 2016

Special Puckin Hostile Shoutcast
Episode 66(6).6
EA Sports NHL 17 review

In this special surprise 66(6).6 Puckin Hostile Shoutcast (the remnants of the beast) Gatekeeper goes solo, and is joined by friend, fellow goaler and the Ben Bishop to Gate's Darren Pang, Big Chris aka Huskies on Youtube to talk about NHL 17.

The gents discuss the following:
-Follow Chris on Twitter, Youtube and Twitch.TV
-NHL17 HUT, without Derek's insufferable HUT updates.
-NHL17 General Manager / Season modes
-Player ratings disaster
-5000 Custom sliders
-Online vs Offline play
-General game setup and complaints
-Too much focus on the bullshit fluff

Info shared on this episode:

Link to the info on the initial NHL 17 update
Link to the custom slider settings on Operation Sports

This is the MLG documentry video mentioned in the episode:

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link (you may need to update your subscription): iTunes

Get the Shoutcast directly though Soundcloud here:

For all your custom jersey needs visit Black and Tan Sports at:


Preseason: Blackhawks vs Penguins
2-0 Shutout Loss Recap


Since the Hawks website is now a broken piece of shit, no game photos

by Gatekeeper

Welcome back for another Blackhawks season, fans. This will be my sixth season doing the dirty work for this hockey team. Thanks to #Fatrick and Bryan for joining so that I can actually have a life during the season. Maybe my children will recognize me somewhere other than a police lineup. We have a busy first week so bear with me as we get the train a rollin again.

After a delightful 50 mile, 3 hour commute home, that is...

The Hawks opened up their preseason at home vs the Stanley Cup champs, and will be wrapping up a "Home and Home", Friday, in Pittsburgh. Nothing like stepping up to the plate and facing the old Ricky Vaughn heater, eh? The Blackhawks lineup resembled something like a pile of used band aids, in a pool of indiscernible bodily fluids. The reason for this was, of course, because some players still were competing in the World Cup of Money, as well as the ones who earned a break after just returning. Their coach was also absent, because he was tending to his duties behind the bench of Team Canada. This is really all fine and well, to be quite honest. We don't need to see Kane and Toews give it the ol "half ass". We all need to see what these kids can do against nearly NHL competition. I could not care less if they went 0-6. Just play the hell out of the new guys and kids. No more of this "Kyle Baun played well in 2 of 6 games, so welcome to the NHL roster, kid" junk. That said, we're off and running...or speed walking...possibly a brisk stroll.

I fully expected the Blackhawks to come out and crap their pants in this first period (they saved that for the 2nd and 3rd), but it was the Pens that started out slow. The Hawks out shot the Pens prospects 13-3 and could have easily taken a one or two goal lead. We got to see the brand new Tootoo sideshow; or more specifically shitshow. Other that that, we got a bunch of players wearing linebacker and fat linemen numbers, which left us all thinking, "Who the hell is that?".

A couple of sloppy penalties let to the Blackhawks taking the second period off and getting out shot an incredible 23-7 in the middle frame. Not ideal, but what can you expect from a bunch of really young inexperienced kids? The good news is that the Blackhawks went into the intermission scoreless. I'll take it, I guess.

The young Hawks finally broke in the third period, letting Chris Kunitz single handedly beat them. The gave up an early goal and then one about midway through the 3rd period, which was more than enough to beat the baby Blackhawks. In the end, the Blackhawks actually out shot the Pens in the 3rd period, 10-9. It's a preseason game, who cares?

The Good
  • Vinny Hinostroza showed some really good speed, splitting the Pens defense with ease early in the first period, but he's definitely a puck carrying guy.
  • #DickPanik was a man on a mission to begin this game. He was all over the ice and hitting everything that moved and looking like a competent wing. That's exactly what he needs to do, to possibly end up on the ice with 88 and 15 on opening night. He just needs to get his hands up to speed. I can see him getting undue shit, already, which is going to get old. The Hawks traded Jeremy Morin for this guy. They won the trade already. Just accept him.
  • I can see why the Blackhawks are in love with Gustav Forsling. He's a pretty dynamic defenseman with a cannon of a shot. Dineen had him out there on the top pairing and on the top powerplay, and Forsling didn't look out of place at all. He unleashed a few real heavy one timers on the powerplay, and he is a very smooth skater. Not a bad return for Canucks/Ducks/Pens/Oilers legend Adam Clendening, eh?
  • Scott Darling played more than adequately. He made 33 saves, and kept the game within reach for the entire night. I have zero issue with his night.
  • Ville Pokka was alright. He actually looked a little slow to me, but he handles the puck ok and wasn't a total smoldering pile of dung in his own end. There is no double that Forsling is a better player though.
  • I'm not going to go out of my way to praise Alex Fortin, but he was not out of place at all. He did nothing to really stand out, but he showed that he can hang with the best young players the Blackhawks have. That's really all I expect out of him, and that's all you should expect, as well.
  • Michal Kempny was solid, and unspectacular. This is all we really need out of him, but I still predict more out of him in the future.

The Bad
  • The sloppy preseason hockey showed up in the second period when the Blackhawks went down 2 men on a Svedberg double minor and a Darling tripping call. Veteran Chris Kunitz turned around and showed all the kids how it's done by immediately negating the two man advantage with a stupid penalty of his own. The Hawks, however, showed some promise in killing off all the infractions. Small victories, I suppose.
  • Kunitz later made it 2-0 beating Campbell and Panik in front of the net and smacking his own rebound past Darling. Darling had made a really nice save on the initial shot, but the rebound had him dead to rights.
  • Brian Campbell had an interesting game. He had a couple turnovers and got lit up by Tom Sestito with his head down. On the offensive end of the ice he was fine, but he certainly showed some rust. Also take into account that Campbell is not going to be taking the top matchups every night.
  • I saw a lot of twitter praise for Nick Schmaltz, but I wasn't really all that impressed. He wasn't "bad", but he also wasn't great. Same goes for Tyler Motte. They were guys. That line was statistically great at suppressing shots but, other than that Hinostroza rush right up the middle, they were average.

The Ugly
  • Jordin Tootoo's second shift resulted in several hammers to the dome before he could even get his gloves off, courtesy of Tom Sestito. To my surprise, the Hawks ended up with a power play, which was probably out of pity. This whole charade earned Sestito 17 penalty minutes. Somehow the official scorer gave him a game misconduct, but he stayed in the game. Explain that one. I can already see the meatballs poking their heads up to defend Tootoo and this circus. This is going to be a long year.
  • Barely three minutes into the third period, the Pens finally scored the first goal of the game, on another 4-on-3 no less. Chris Kunitz made up for his stupid second period penalty by tipping a long Trevor Daley (yes, that Trevor Daley) point shot that Darling had no chance on. Daley sure massively out performed on that play, I'll tell ya.
  • First rant of the season. The Blackhawks website. Whoever decided that this new league wide website template was acceptable is fucking terrible at their job. TERR-I-BLE. Fire them. Fire them into the sun. Shame their family. You cannot find anything, and simple features like game photos are gone. The video pages are a huge mess to navigate, and everything is blown up so big that a legally blind 80 year old could see it clearly. The old site was not perfect, but it was functional. You could follow game sheets, find stats, get to highlights, and see game photos. I also get that the NHL probably dictates this uniform format, but that doesn't mean we have to suffer through it. Get your shit together. There isn't one single thing that this new format improved. Someone needs to out the fool at SAP that sold the NHL this piece of fucking garbage. I'm going to apologize right now, because if I have to endure this utter piece of shit all season, you're all going to hear about it.

Here is a text I got post game from a guy whose opinion I greatly respect and has played with/against current NHL level players:
Hinostroza - selfish, shoot first mentality
Fortin - fast, good hands
Forsling - good skater
Campbell - nice to have Campbell back, I think he's going to be a good fit.
Schmaltz - good vision and passer

The Lineblender
Schmaltz - Hinostroza - Panik
Motte - Kero - Hartman
Fortin - Johnson - Tootoo
Lundberg - Rasmussen - McNeill

Forsling - Campbell
Kempny - Pokka
Svedberg - van Reimsdyk

Rostered but scratched:
PC Labrie
Sam Carrick
Carl Dahlstrom
Cameron Schilling


Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast
Episode 66(6)

In this 66th Puckin Hostile Shoutcast (the episode of the beast) Gatekeeper, Pat, Derek and Bryan are joined by John Jaeckel from Hockeybuzz.com.

The gents discuss the following:
-Blackhawks start training camp...well, some of them do
-Hawks rookies take last in the Traverse City, Mathew Wuest tournament
-Blackhawks sign undrafted FA Alexandre Fortin
-Lots of early Artemi Panarin contract talk
-The NHL announced the centennial celebration schedule
-Some notable player info including Valeri Nichushkin, Brad Marchand, Alex Steen, and Jacob Trouba
-The World Cup of Money rambles on with an unexpected finalist
-Phil Kessel fires shots at the US
-Torts talk
-Cannon fodder
-And of course, as always, an abundance of extremely inappropriate references and jokes in incredibly bad taste

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link (you may need to update your subscription): iTunes

Get the Shoutcast directly though Soundcloud here:

For all your custom jersey needs visit Black and Tan Sports at:


Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Shoutcast Episode 65
Snack Food Draft Results Poll

Here are the results of the episode 65 "Top 5 Road Trip Snack Foods Draft". Voting has been closed, and the winner is our guest of honor.

1- @pdnorton3 - Mini doughnuts (powdered sugar)
6- @pdnorton3 - Giant bag plain M&Ms
11- @pdnorton3 - Krispy Kreme apple pie
16- @pdnorton3 - Entenmann's choc chip cookies
21- @pdnorton3 - Chex Mix (Original)

2- @Patrick_Stankus - orange mint Lifesavers
7- @Patrick_Stankus - Costco churro
12- @Patrick_Stankus - Little Debbie chocolate creme pie
17- @Patrick_Stankus - Flying J’s pizza
22- @Patrick_Stankus - Mountain Dew Voltage

3- @AtomicFroster - Ketchup flavoured potato chips
8- @AtomicFroster - Kinder Egg Surprise
13- @AtomicFroster - Spitz Seasoned Sunflower Seed
18- @AtomicFroster - Nanaimo Bar
23- @AtomicFroster - Le Poutine

4- @PuckinHostile - Beer Nuts hot Bar Mix
9- @PuckinHostile - Pepperoni cracker Combos
14- @PuckinHostile - Redbull
19- @PuckinHostile - Spicy Planters peanuts
24- @PuckinHostile - Taco flavored Doritos

5- @Hostile_Derek - Slurpee (Cherry)
10- @Hostile_Derek - Pizzeria pretzel Combos
15- @Hostile_Derek - Gas station nachos
20- @Hostile_Derek - Roller grilled Taquitos
25- @Hostile_Derek - Chex Mix muddy buddies (peanut butter)

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast
Episode 65

In this 65th Puckin Hostile Shoutcast (the Andrew Shaw Episode) Gatekeeper, Pat, Derek and Bryan are joined by the contest winner Patrick Norton

The gents discuss the following:
-Will it be one or two Hostile members at the Madhouse Podcast meet up?
-Fantasy draft of "5 best road trip snack foods"
-The World Cup of Money begins
-The injury bug hitting the World Cup
-Kris Versteeg is back and going to Edmonton
-Zemgus Girgensons, and Jonathan Huberdeau sign
-A new branch of the Hawks Store opens
-Blackhawks release roster for training camp
-Gate isn't the only one crossing lines in this one
-And of course, as always, an abundance of extremely inappropriate references and jokes in incredibly bad taste

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link (you may need to update your subscription): iTunes

Get the Shoutcast directly though Soundcloud here:

For all your custom jersey needs visit Black and Tan Sports at:


Thursday, September 8, 2016

2016-17 Blackhawks Season Preview

We're baaaaack, much to the chagrin of many, I'm certain. Well actually, I'm back, and that's really all that matters. We'll see if Fatrick can manage to make it back from his summer hibernation by game 5, but I digress...

With the World Cup of Money upon us, we can finally start talking more hockey and less insufferably relentless "the Cubs magic number is 14 3/4". That said, the Blackhawks seem to have assembled the squad they are going into battle with this season.

And yes, I can use "battle" because you can have a "battle" and not equate it to war.

While the Blackhawks made a few off season moves, they certainly left some gaping holes in the lineup. Some have said that they are no more optimistic about this season than they were in 2010-11. Let me take you back to just 12 months ago, when many of us said, "second round out". That's not very optimistic, and this year's defense is much deeper. I'll get into that subject a little later, though. Lets start from the top.

Other than some Rockford assistant coach shuffling, the meat of the Blackhawks staff remains intact. It was widely speculated that Kevin Dineen could have been headed to Colorado to replace noted homeless puddinghead Patrick Roy but they, instead, decided to go with Cleveland Monsters and Calder Cup winning coach Jared Bednar. Personally, I like the consistency in this staff and I like Dineen. Mike Kitchen, on the other hand, I'm not a big fan of, but the players seem to like him. Jimmy Waite clearly had a positive effect on Corey Crawford, so having "Stephane lite" on the Hawks staff is perfectly fine by me. Status quo.

Where we might see the biggest change is with the forwards, and by change, I mean frustration. The Blackhawks clearly went to solidify the defense during the summer, but weren't as lucky with forwards. Unlike last season, where Artemi Panarin, and in some respects Marko Dano, brought some promise, the Blackhawks only free agent addition was veteran face puncher Jordin Tootoo, who was (statistically) the "worst NHL forward by goals versus threshold". So please forgive me if I'm a tad bit snarky about this free agent signing. They lost Andrew Shaw, Bryan Bickell, Teuvo Tervainen, Andrew Ladd, Tomas Fleischmann, and Dale Weise. Some of these losses we expected and others....well...not so much. Shaw priced himself out of Chicago, Bickell played his way out of Chicago, Teuvo just "Quennevilled" himself out of Chicago (as many players have done), and Ladd was never even a realistic option. Mind you, These are only the forwards that exited stage left over the summer.

That is all fine and well, fans, because the saviors have arrived. Jimmy Vesey, Nick Schmaltz, and Tyler Motte. Like American Icon Meatloaf once penned, two out of three ain't bad. Right? If you're talking about "middle-of-the-road" college players, then most certainly. None of these players, even the great Jimmy Vesey, were going to come in and fill that enormous left wing crater next to number 19. Not only did they not fix their left wing problem, but the Blackhawks created themselves a right wing problem by trading away Teuvo Teravainen. The "sweet & low" to the deal to get Bickell the hell out of Chicago would have been a decent candidate to replace Marian Hossa, so the Hawks could give those tired legs a rest and possibly move him down to the third line. At this point, the only viable option is to move Calder winner Artemi Panarin up, to give Toews some assistance in the goal scoring category, and you can't move Hossa, yet, if you expect Jonathan Toews to eclipse the paltry 58 points he put up last season. There is a very obvious reason why Toews posted his lowest point total, and lowest Corsi since his rookie season (barring injury or lockout) of his career. Hossa is not scoring, and he dragged Johnny Random Dickall around the ice as a left wing all season. Give him Panarin and he has a fighting chance to produce. Kane has shown that he can still carry a line of steaming hot turds on his back for an entire season and still net roughly a point per game. Richard Panik could prove to be a very suitable wing on that line and a full season with Artem Anisimov under his belt only helped Kane. He now has a luxury has not had previous, which is a consistent familiar pivot. And, listen, don't give me this "we can't break up the #AK72 line" bullshit. They certainly can, and they certainly should. This is the difference between having one extremely dangerous line, and having two really good lines. Divide and conquer, because teams can quickly learn to shut a single line down. I'm not splitting the atom, here, Dr. Gatekeeper. It's basic common sense.

The bottom six is a potpourri of disappointment and unrealistic expectations. Marcus Kruger, whether he likes it or not, needs to play a bigger role in 5 vs 5 hockey for this team. There is just no other choice. Sometimes you need to push yourself to earn your keep, and this is Marcus Kruger's time to shine. He gets a bad rap, for a guy that has done just about everything asked from him, but contributing on the offensive side of the ice hasn't been there. Generally, that has been acceptable because of the immense value he has in the defensive end of the ice and on the penalty kill, but it's time to expand his reach. By no means am I saying he needs to be dumped if he doesn't score 20 goals, but a 35 point season would be nice. I am a Kruger defender, so you won't hear much bad out of me regarding his value. I understand that he makes a little too much money, but his intangible value far outweighs the few goals he didn't score last season. As a former coach, I can see his value far and away more than, say, and Andrew Shaw. Anyone ragging on him for not scoring in a half season where he severely injured his wrist, is utterly asinine. He has without a doubt earned that mulligan and would have certainly netted 4-5 goals, had he played the entire season.

Moving on to the pits of mediocrity, Andrew Desjardins will probably figure in to the 4th line duties with Jordin Tootoo, and probably a little Brandon Mashinter sprinkled in for flavor. That's a helluva 4th line, isn't it? At least two of those names illicit a "head desk" reaction, but Q just keeps on Q'n. The rest of the bottom six forwards are a complete unknown. If Panik doesn't stick in the top six, he could be a perfectly fine 3rd liner. In his short time, he kind of reminds me as a Michael Frolik type, which would be wonderful. That could all come crashing down, though. One would think that the Hawks will do their best to keep Nick Schmaltz around, and the third line is honestly the best place for him to get comfortable. His presence is, by no means, a lock. We could see any of the following names playing 3rd or 4th line minutes throughout the regular season:

Vince Hinostroza
Tyler Motte
Tanner Kero
Dennis Rasmussen
Mark McNeil
Ryan Hartman
Sam Carrick

All of these players could very well hang in the NHL, for a variety of reasons, but none are really going to blow your doors off just yet. Throw all the names in a hat and pick two. There is no way to predict which guy is going to play well in camp. Hell, Kyle Super Baun Baun made the team out of camp last year, following a very Schmaltz/Motte-like season in college. I'm not even going to venture to guess at who will stand out. Keep an eye out for free agent forward Alexandre Fortin, who made a big impression in prospect camp, and will play in the Traverse City rookie tournament. He might not see NHL time, but I would not be surprised if he ends up in Rockford.

The defense, on the other hand, is the complete opposite of the mess the Hawks have at forward. The Blackhawks return Duncan Keith, whipping boy Brent Seabrook, Niklas Hjalmarsson, and Trevor van Riemsdyk which should theoretically be your numbers 1-2-3-5 defenders. Stan Bowman stepped in this summer did his best to realistically fix the one major problem that cost them in the playoffs, which was their lack of depth on defense. He signed international vet and highly sought after Michal Kempny to a very economical deal, and then followed suit by almost having Brian Campbell pay the team to come back. Even if Campbell is the number 4, and Kempny is the number 6 guy, this defense is significantly better than it has been in quite a while. That is basically the worst case scenario. If one of those two new additions crashes like a Yak-service air plane then "Ol Dusty Trusty" Michal Rozsival can lend a hand, but not more than spot duty. If more extensive service is needed, Ville Pokka, Erik Gustafsson and Viktor Svedberg could all be asked to jump in and should be able to fill some spots without completely imploding. I didn't even have to get to Gustav Forsling, who was basically pushed back to Sweden for another season of maturity, which is not a bad thing at all. All in all, the defense looks great on paper, but we all know that perception and reality can be oddly dissimilar.

The one spot were nothing changed at the NHL level is in net. Corey Crawford returns after what should have been a Vezina nomination, and probably his best single season performance. If Crawford have can have a similar season this year, then maybe the jackass meatball nation will lay off for a bit. Please forgive my ignorant optimism. Lemont Native Scott Darling returns for his third year, second full season, as the backup to Corey Crawford, which is just peachy. He can give you more than just spot duty, and won't end up costing you a fortune. I have no complains with this duo. As far as the depth goes, the IceHogs have completely revamped their net. The guy with the most NA experience is Mac "The Truth" Carruth, which is a little concerning on the surface. Stan brought in veteran European goalie Lars Johansson to fill some need, and then followed up by signing Jake Hildebrand and Wheeling Native Eric Levine to AHL contracts. I would expect Johansson / Carruth to spend the season in Rockford, and Hildebrand / Levine to spend the season in Indy. Could be much much worse.

There you have it. The Blackhawks current status. I can't say I predict anything more than last season, which I said would be a second round exit. There are too many question marks at forward, for me to think that they could go through a team like Dallas without getting windburn. The defence, while very good, is getting old. Without some offense being generated, Dallas could possibly wear them down over 7 games.

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