House of Blues

Before the game last night in St. Louis we were informed that Corey Crawford was still not 100%, and Patrick Kane would return from injury. One would have thought that the Kane news would be the start of something good. We were fooled. The game got off to a physical start in the first couple of minutes, and the Blues dominated the Hawks but the Hawks led 1-0 after the first frame. Clearly the way the Blues were dominating, that lead wasn't going to last long. The second was a continuation of the first period and the Blues tied up the game. As you might expect from a team that lost their captain to injury, had their second string goalie playing and had lost two other players for stretches of the second due to injury, the Hawks lost all steam in the third period. The Blues put up the game winning and game icing goals in the third, and the Hawks never really threatened a serious comeback. Lets hope Toews is a fast healer.

The Good

• Big Show made an effort to earn his Twatter name "TheMURDERSAURUS" (I couldn't make this up, if I tried), in his scuffle with Cam Janssen. He hasn't been beaten in a fight yet, and that's going to make him a celebrity in this city. It's also going to make all the people that watch the game just for the fights tingle in their private parts. Too bad it was staged and pointless. Cam Janssen is just a dopey looking cementhead that can't manage more than 2:48 of playing time. Some talented kid is riding a bus in Peoria Illinois, because that imbecile is a part of the team.
  
• Jake the Snake's goal was awful. It certainly looked like a change-up, and Conklin just missed it. Pick-To-Click Vik gets an "A" for stealing that puck, seeing Snake, and feeding him for the knucklepuck.
  
• I don't care what the simpletons on Twatter, or the mouth breathing mongoloids on Facebook say; Marty Turco did NOT, in any way shape or form, cost the Blackhawks that game. He faced 43 shots, and bailed the "clown car" defense out multiple times. He was not brought here to face 43 shots EVER. He was brought here to face 25 to 30 shots a game and not lose it for them. This is above and beyond his job description. If you think that Turco was anything less than great last night, you need a lobotomy; and to have your fan card revoked, because you're an ignoramus.
  

The Bad

• We have enough choices at center, so this abortion of Kopecky at center needs to end yesterday. Please. I beg of you. Also, Nice offensive zone penalty, asshat.
  
• It was a matter of time until the Blues took the lead. They were dominating a majority of the game and the Hawks were playing with fire by taking bad penalties.
  
• This just wasn't the Hawks night, with that third goal going in. Turco did a lot to keep that out, and his effort was stellar, but he was about half a second too late.
  
• Kaner's missed breakaway ended up being huge, because that would have swung momentum back the Hawks way. Sure the puck rolled, and he was a little rushed, but that's what he's paid to do. You're playing against the backup goalie, and you have a twenty foot lead on ANYONE. It doesn't have to be pretty, just get the job done.
  

The Ugly

• The powerplay. First in the league, right? Looks a lot different without Jonny B Goode, doesn't it? No feast, just famine. I didn't ask Santa Christ for this.
  
• Leave it up to good ol Nick Boynton to turn it over with no one around, and have it end up in the back of the damn net. Just blindly throw it around the boards, like you knew something no one else on the ice or watching on TV did, Nick. Really. Jordan Hendry isn't good enough to do that?
  
• I left the best/worst for last, because it could make or break their season. The injury to Captain Serious. As bad as Kane's injury looked, this one doesn't look as bad, but that's purely speculation. Actually, it's a truck load of wishful thinking, because without Toews, this team looks dead inside. No inspiration, no fire, and absolutely no coconuts. It's never good when a player doesn't return to the ice, and this was no exception. If this is serious, the loss of the guy that held them together through so many early injuries could be the reason this team falls apart.
  

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

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The Kaner Shuffle

Leave it up to me to be late to the party but there has been QUITE a little buzz on Twatter about this "Kaner Shuffle", so I had to check this mess out...and what a mess it is...Have a look for yourself:

• Put some shoes on, kid. What are you, some kind of Cab Driver robbing Hillbilly?
  
  
• Nice, "White Boy" shimmy. THAT will do a lot to change the perception that straight white men can't dance.
  
  
• Sharpie's reaction is the best. Pure embarrassment.
  
  
• Yes, that's the ghost of Jordan Hendry making an appearance from beyond the unmarked west side abandoned lot grave Quenneville has him buried in.
  
  
• That Carrot Top vest/jacket thing is straight out of an 80's Devo video, or "Back to the Future".
  
  
• Marty the Midget is right out of Goodfellas. I think he's channeling his inner Joe Pesci.
  
  
• Apparently, Pick-to-Click Vik and Hammer are required to appear together because they are representing the common homeland, and Vik is a smiling mute.
  
  
• The "Can-Can" is definitely the "Can't-Can't".
  
  
• Carrot Top mumbles like a slow mental patient with mucus issues.
  
  
• "That's an NHL Superstar right there" CLASSIC by Jonny B Goode. Great "Toews Faces" too, Captain Serious. The faces that the woman/women in your life must experience have to be priceless.
  
  
• Marty the Midget looks like he has arthritis, when he's dancing.
  
  
• Brouwser must be a HOOT on the college campuses.
  
  
• Pick-to-Click Vik apparently doesn't even have enough balance to stand on one leg. Shouldn't we be worried about that?

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Morin hurt in WJC OT win

TSN and Tracy Myers from CSN are reporting this morning that Blackhawks Jeremy Morin was injured last night in the USA's 3-2 opening night OT victory last night. Morin apparently "suffered a shoulder injury that could be significant." This is not good news for the Hawks, but there is speculation that the Hawks were going to keep him in Rockford the rest of the year so that his rookie contract doesn't kick in.

A junior-aged player with a contract can play up to nine NHL games as a trial period. If he is returned to junior before the tenth game, his contract is effectively put on hold: when he goes to training camp the following season, he will be in the first year of his contract.

Once the player appears in his tenth NHL game, his contract kicks in. He can still be returned to his junior club after that. But at season's end, a full contract year will expire.

Once he plays his 10th NHL contest, he is officially considered a rookie and his contract goes into effect. The AHL games with the Rock-beria Ice Hogs have nothing to do with his rookie status or contract.

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The Redcoats Are Coming!

Before the game we learned that Corey Crawford was ill and Hannu Toivonen was called up to back up Marty Turco. Not only that, but Boss 81 and Pick-To-Click Vik were back on the ice. After a solid first by Turco and some dominant play by Boss, the Hawks were up 1-0 after the first. The second period was fairly uneventful with neither team scoring and finished 1-0, Hawks. The third was a whole different story as the Hawks pounced on multiple BJ mistakes and scored 3 goals. Solid game, and good win. Things are finally coming together.

The Good

• It didn't take Boss long to make a difference in the game as the rebound of his 1st shot of the game was put in by Kopecky. Tomo-Kop has to be DELIGHTED that his big brother is back on the ice. Even though he's CLEARLY playing out of position, the look on his face after he scored was something to the effect of this:
  
  
• Just when you start to think the powerplay is a shanghai fire drill, Sharpie rips a one timer in the back of the net. Feast or Famine.
  
• Invisi-Bolly had to get into the action, on the powerplay no less, in the third. The play was made by Bickell and Brouwer, with two nice passes. The Killer B's, Yo! Yes, That was sarcasm.
  
• I didn't even have time to jot down notes about the Bolland goal and Sharpie takes a Power Brouwer pass and rifles it in the net. Game OVER!
  
• The Hawks were out shot, but it was only by two. Twenty seven shots is respectable, and a nice even keel for Marty to get his feet wet, again. Keep this up, and things will be looking up VERY soon.
  

The Bad

• Hey, Brouwer? Sharpie? Anytime you'd like to shoot the puck would be OK with us. Not like they are just GIVING away 3 on 2's.
  
• Nick Boynton if you'd like to pass you your own team, we'd greatly appreciate it. Just an idea.
  
• Skillington has to go 5-hole on that penalty shot. No two ways about it. The rush that got him the penalty shot was a phenomenal one. That's just reason why he can't waste away on that forth line. Back down to seven and a half minutes of time for him, which is just brutal. He goes from the top line and 2 goals to the forth line and seven fucking minutes of play. Why do I bother?
  
• The powerplay looked utterly clueless for the first two periods. Makes you wonder how that squad is one of the best in the league. Sometimes it's just baffling. Of course I ate my words in the third by what the hell was going on in the first two periods?
  

The Ugly

• I was rooting for Turco and I just knew some dumb shit would break up the shutout, and of course, I was right. Bolland taking exception to some roughness in the offensive zone led to a BJ's powerplay, and a double screen on Turco ended up in the back of the net.
  

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

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To Catch a Predator

Two days before Christmas and what is our gift? A game that will most likely be low scoring and close. As advertised the first period was exactly that, as Bolly netted the only goal and the Hawks outshot the Preds 13-9. The second was more of the same, with Skillington denting the net, and the Hawks going into the locker room up 2-0. The third period had slightly more action with the Hawks scoring 2 and the Preds getting one on the powerplay. Not the most exciting game, but effective and productive. I'll take 6 more months of these games, if we get the same result.

The Good

• Well, what do ya know? Invisi-Bolly decides to make an appearance for Christmas. What did we do to deserve that? Not like Lindback really gave him much of a fight. After he completely shit the bed on that pass, his ego was so hurt he just fell over in front of Bolly. Just for good measure, Invisi-Bolly assisted on Skillingtons goal. Why Bolland drew three Nashville defenders is beyond me. Davey gets three and Skille gets none. Makes perfect sense. Don't call off the Amber alert yet, because he's bound to disappear again.
  
• FINALLY, Skillington showed he has a little sniper in him by roofing that goal over Lindback's glove shoulder for a 2-0 lead. Look at that, Joel, he CAN play on the powerplay, eh? Don't know WHO has been screaming about that all year long.
  
• Skillington showed a little, yes I'm going to say it, Bryan Bickell with his snapper halfway through the third to pretty much put the game away. I'm not sure just what the Preds bring out of him, but I like it.
  
• I keep saying it, but Crawford has been solid in a non spectacular way. Another great game. He needs a nickname soon, so that's my New Years Resolution.
  
• After three games the "faceoff artist", and "penalty kill virtuoso" Ryan Johnson finally made an appearance on the penalty kill. He blocked two shots, and I guess I'm supposed to be impressed. As of right now, I'm still not impressed, nor will I be. Three forwards are scheduled to come back and there are only 2 "expendables", Big Show and Hendry. Guess who loses that 3rd spot?
  
• One Trick Bick hit the score sheet again with a nice little headfake and snap shot. It's odd to see him actually score inside the circles, for once, but lets ride this wave. I saw someone comment on the Madhouse Enforcer and say that Bick reminded him of Brett Hull. Let's not get crazy now, that's just silly talk. Anyway, Game icing goal...Merry Christmas.
  

The Bad

• Crawford's shutout bid ended when the Preds scored on a slow deflection at the top of a powerplay. Once again the penalty kill unit failed. This needs to change NOW!

The Ugly

• No real ugly for two games in a row, so Merry Christmas...
  
  

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

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Kings of Queens

Not much worth remembering in the first period. The teams each had 8 shots on net and the Hawks were up 1-0. The second period started fast and furious as both teams lit the lamp, but after the jitters settled, it finished up 3-1, Hawks. The Third was pretty slow too. The Kings put one in and the Hawks held off a late rush to preserve the 3-2 win.

The Good

• Big Show/Wesgarth 2.0 wasn't quite the ordeal that the first one was. Actually, it really wasn't much of anything, other than some hugs and kisses. Overall, Show won, but not YouTube worthy.
  
• Jonny B Goode continued his solid play with a big first goal that went off Drew Douchebag's stick and just changed direction enough to make it into the net.
  
• The only good part about Ryan Johnson playing fourth line center, is that Jake The Snake gets to play some meaningful minutes. He has earned it, and I'm glad to see he's gotten rewarded. The bad new's is I can't see Johnson sticking around once, Kaner, Stalberg, and Hossa are back, so that means back to the fourth line for Snake.
  
• Duncan Keith's goal was enormous after the Kings had just tied the game up. That's what a captain does. Both goals thus far by captains.
  
• Fernan-dog Pisani connected late in the second after a Kings shot ricocheted around the boards like a superball and Invisi-Bolly took it hard down the ice, and put a pass through One Trick Bick's stick and through to The Dog, who sniped it where momma keeps the peanutbutter.
  

The Bad

• Ryan Johnson almost got his first Hawks goal, on his own net. I still don't get it. I just don't get it.
  
• The Kings goal was certainly a breakdown of the D and a bad play by Crawford. I could break it down, and berate someone for it, but it's gettingold.
  
• The Kings second goal was a breakdown of the penalty kill unit, and some bad luck by Hjalmarsson and Crawford. Momma said there'd be days like this.

The Ugly

• I can't say there was enough to call anything ugly. Color me shocked.
  

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

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My Big Fat Greek Funeral

Well, all the bells and whistles were out to honor former teammate Chris Chelios, but we'll get to those festivities later. Before the game it was announced that Pick-To-Click Vik was out of the lineup, with a concussion. The Second Period started 2-1 but the Hawks were losing momentum quickly. The Hawks went into the third period leading 3-1, and looking good.

The Good

• The Chelios thing was nice even though there were quite a few boo's, but he brushed it off, and finished on a good note. He turned that crowd around, and I felt good for him.
  
• The powerplay finally clicked as Sharpie as Seabrook fed him for a beautiful one timer. What a great start.
  
• One Trick Bick was at it once AGAIN. the guy does shoot VERY well. awesome shot. I can't say too much ad about him the way he's playing. Great job, Bick!
  
• Jack Skillington has been shooting the hell out of the puck. Sure, he probably passes up some passes, but he's shooting on net, which quite a few Hawks aren't doing.
  
• Brian Campbell absolutely made a phenomenal play on the delayed penalty and led the rush for Kopecky, and ultimatly the goal. If Campbell isn't on the ice, that doesn't happen.

The Bad

• This just in, Invisi-Bolly turned the puck over again in his own zone.
  
• I hate seeing pro players throw their sticks on plays like the open netter. Fuck you, Rafalski. Dickhead.
  

The Ugly

• Ok, I already don't like dumb ass Ryan Johnson. Why in the FUCK you ign some dopey has been that has nothing left in the tank beyond me. That #17 is going to be free again REAL soon, because Johnson is awful.
  
• what the hell are Big Show, Ryan Fucking Johnson, and Jordan Hendry doing out there with Dick Boynton, and Jassen Cullimore? Please? Tell me? The opposing team calls a time out and that's the line you produce me, Quenneville? C'MON, man. That's just fucking STUPID!

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

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Colorado Calamity

The Hawks were looking to avenge the loss the other night, but the Avalanche had other ideas. It started off much better last night, but the ending was, again, a shit show. After one period they were down one nothing, but tied it up early in the second. The second ended with a 1-1 tie and set up a very important third. Once again, the wheels fell off the cart, and the Hawks gave up 3 goals. This is getting old.

The Good

• One Trick Bickell was at it again. His goal was a great effort as he circled in and ripped a great shot over Anderson's glove. Like I said, the guy can shoot, and he's doing what he's good at. I wish more of the team would follow the example.
  
• Corey Crawford had another huge outting, and made several big saves, but fell short in the third, when the defense fell apart.
  
• Jonny B Goode got a real nice hard working goal. Nothing pretty about that one, but that was a huge play by the captain, at the time.
  
• Power Brouwer's goal was too little too late, but he has been on fire. Let's hope that continues. At least he's finally doing something useful.
  

The Bad

• The first Colorado goal was absolutely brutal. Boynton and Cullimore just backed their asses into Crawford, and let the Avs forwards shoot at will. C'mon, guys. What was that? Step up and hit someone
  
• The powerplay was completely ineffective. The Hawks kept control, but didn't get many shots to the net at all. You have to take the kill shot with all the powerplays in the first period. When you don't capitalize on prime chances, you're going to end up in trouble.
  
• The O'Byrne hit on Stalberg was bad. I can't say he was trying to be a complete asshat, but it ended up that way. That should have been more than two minutes, if Hendry got four later. Not that Stalberg has done anything of importance lately, but they could have used the extra legs.
  

The Ugly

• Jordan Hendry played one or two shifts in the first period, and disappeared. In the third he had some terrible luck as the Colorado player skated into his elbow, and he was tagged with a double minor. Funny how the call was a high stick and his stick was nowhere near Winnik. None of the refs made a call until they noticed Winnik was down and that cost the Hawks the game.
  
• Fleischmann continued to abuse Seabrook and Crawford with his two powerplay goals. The hat trick goal was simply the knife in the back of the Hawks. They just cannot catch a break, and it's getting old really fast.
  

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

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Game Day Blues Clues

Avs tonight for the second part of the "Home and Home", at the UC...

• After this morning's skate, Bolland will play tonight, Kane and Pisani might play Friday, and Hossa was working out off ice. Did ANYONE miss Invisi-Bolly, or Fernandog?? I didn't think so.
  
  
• Looks as though Crawford will be in net tonight, as he should be.
  
  
• Brian Campbell on Turco, from Monday night: "I feel bad for Marty. I think every one of us owes him an apology." No SHIT, you do! You six, so called, defensemen need to take Marty AND Corey out for a steak dinner at Smith and Wollensky. They faced a firing squad.
  
  
• It's still a mystery why Moustachio benched Stalberg and Skille when they were short on actual "real" ones and were playing in the thin air of Denver. Oh, because no one else on the ice was shitting the bed all night, right?
  
  
• Sam Fels of the Committed Indian, Second City Hockey and NBC pointed out that Big Show had more penalty minutes than actual playing time, AND that the fight he had was after a Hawks goal, which is pretty pointless.
  
  
• Hawks prospect Dylan Olsen made the Canadian World Junior team, and Brandon Pirri was one of the last cuts. Pirri's punishment is a trip back to Rock-beria.
  
  
• Finally, after seeing this video, I will find it hard to speak ill of Jake Dowell ever again.
  
  

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Colorado ClusterF&@K

After embarrassing the Hawks, Fleischmann does the funky running man?!?!

As CSN's Chuck Garfien said following the game, "That, did not...just happen". I don't know if ANY defensemen showed up for either team, because if they were on the ice they didn't do god damned thing. Six goals scored in the first 20 mins, and it was a 3-3 tie going into the second frame. Forty seconds into the second and the Hawks give up yet another wide open slot goal. The Hawks opened up a 5-4 lead with 2 and a half minutes to go, and the wheels fell off the cart. Three goals in the final two and a half minutes and it was over. Pathetic and embarrassing. Because that was 2 and a half hours of my life that I'll never recover, I dedicate this silly shit to the Hackhawks:



That clip should be looped on the monitors in the locker room to remind them of that atrocious waste of a game. On with the carnage...

The Good

• Leave it up to Brouwer Power to actually have himself an admirable game that gets wasted. First, He picked up a garbage powerplay goal, but it all counts. Kopecky muffed on the play, and he half ass kicked it to Brouwer, who just ripped it through Craig Anderson. The third goal, by Bickell, was pretty shady. Brouwer sent in a floater that banked off Bickell and into the net. Awful goal for Anderson to give up. Brouwer had a great tip for the Hawks fifth goal, off a Duncan Keith wrist shot from the point on the powerplay. Three minutes to go in the third and the Hawks are up 5-4. Game over right? Think again. The Hawks had other plans.
  
  
• Skillington's goal was really another fortunate bounce that ended up on his stick, and he snapped it home. Once again, I like seeing people rewarded for hard work and heart. Those are two things Jack has shown this year.
  
  
• Crawford looked good again, and the team responds better when he's in net. I think the team has decided that they want him as their netminder. Marty, it's over, man. Just too bad they didn't want to respond for more than 57 minutes. Really, most of the goals given up let the goalies hung out to dry. Crawford did make a nice save late in the game on yet ANOTHER one timer in the slot.
  
  
• The fight between Big Show and former Blackhawk for a minute David Koci was entertaining, but hardly effective. What else do you expect with two complete cement heads out there? I'd be shocked if they DIDN'T fight. I'd say Big Show took that one, but did ANYONE care?
  
  
• Jeremy Morin's second goal of the year was pretty weak, in and of itself, but no complaining here. Good job kiddo. Keep firing the biscuit.
  
  
• Jake the Snake moved up to third line center with Brouwer and Bickell, with Invisi-Bolly out. He didn't look out of place, and he certainly played better in the Avs end than Bolland has.

The Bad

• Well under the radar, Invisi-Bolly apparently has an upper body injury, which I can only guess is a bruised ego, or mental deficiency. Ryan Potulny was called up to center the forth line.
  
  
• The Hawks all too often found Colorado forwards in behind their defensemen. Not a good sign, and you'd think after once or twice they'd stay a little more alert. It was like a carnival shooting gallery all game. The Hawks only gave up 30 shots, but every time you turn around, there is another Colorado player wide open in the slot.
  
  
• Potulny, Morin and Bickell isn't exactly the powerplay line other teams will piss themselves over. Stalberg and Skille are sitting the bench while Bickell and Potulny are out there? C'mon Joel, that's just moronic.
  
  
• Whoever was sitting near one of the open mics ringing a cowbell all game needs to be sodomized with a hot poker and buried alive. This isn't a youth game, cut the shit.
  
  
• Big Show and his 265 seconds of glory. This guy is really earning every dollar, and he REALLY skates like he shat his drawers. My two year old runs around like that when she fills hers.
  
  
• Just when the whole media is crowing about Keith being back in his Norris Trophy winning form, him and Seabrook went -4 EACH. That's our top defensive pairing. NEGATIVE FOUR!
  

The Ugly

• Eighteen seconds into the game and Colorado got things rolling against Turco. Toews, Stalberg and Keith all let Yip one time a shot in the slot, right into the back of the net. What a great way to start the game, and it was certainly a sign of things to come. People aren't even in their seats, and the home team is up 1-0.
  
  
• Colorado goal number two was also ridiculously stupid. Keith and Seabrook really showed a half assed effort and Stastny went right through the two of them and put a shot on net that flipped over Turco. Yes, #2 and #7 looked like they didn't want to be bothered, but Marty got a piece of it. It almost looked like, at that point, he had already given up. Thanks for making me look like an asshole, Marty. I'm glad I backed THAT horse. Fucking Mule!
  
  
• Twenty three seconds after the Hawks tie it, in the first, they give up another goal as Kopecky, Campbell, and Hjalmarsson let yet ANOTHER Colorado forward skate wide open in slot. Guys? Hello? Are you there? Anyone? The first period started and you look like dogshit. What happened to this great defense we've all heard so much about?
  
  
• Then it was Brent Seabrook's turn to really screw Turco by turning the puck over at the blue line and 40 seconds into the second, it was 4-3 Colorado. Make all the excuses you want, Steve Konroyd, but Seab's shit the bed on that one. Not that I don't agree with Turco being pulled, but the Hawks were absolutely fucking TERRIBLE on defense. Three wide open shots in the slot and a turnover which lead to a 2 on 2 and ends up in the back of their own net. Just BRUTAL!! Honestly, the Hawks should have come out of the first intermission with Crawford. Turco just didn't have it last night and his .600 save percentage made that clear.
  
  
• Goal number 5 was a simple wrist shot that beats Crawford, but why was Fleischmann allowed to put the brakes on and let it go like he did? Seabrook just backed off and almost did a bambi on ice reenactment. Fleischmann let the shot rip it at the net, and we have a tie game. Like the rest of the game, SLOPPY! So much for that 5-4 lead with two and a half minutes left. Oh it gets better.
  
  
• Aaaaaaaand the sixth goal less than a minute later, where Seabrook and Keith just let Douche-ene slide right between them and ONCE AGAIN one time a puck, in the slot, into the back of their net. It's a cliche but in this case it's true. There is NO "D" in Blackhawks. Bunch of fucking sad sacks. Throw an empty netter in for good measure. Assholes! That was disgusting.

If you really want to watch this embarrassment here you go:

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