Monday, April 25, 2011

You Hear That, Mr. Anderson? That is the Sound of Inevitability


"Throw your tens up, and keep'em right there"


I can't say I'm disappointed that we're still alive and breathing. Before game one I said that the Canucks would win in six games, and I sincerely did't want to go down that way. The Hawks were living on borrowed time, at this point, and had nothing to lose. To add to the chaos, it was announced that Borat wasn't starting for Vancouver. HUGE news for the Hawks, but that didn't stick. More on that later. Lets roll, Boys!

The first period didn't open up like the Hawks would want, with Vancouver opening up a 1-0 lead just a few moments in, but the Hawks answered in the last quarter of the period to tie it up. Unfortunately, the Canucks turned another Blackhawks turnover into a goal, and went into the first break up 2-1. The second period was a little more tame, as the Hawks tied up the game, but that was about it. The Hawks failed on SEVERAL powerplays, which usually has a way of eating them up. The third would tell the tale. The third period yielded a goal each way with the Canucks scoring just under a minute into the period, and the Hawks scoring on a penalty shot. If the Hawks were going down, it was going to be in overtime. On to OT! The Hawks showed that they weren't going down easy, and with the help of a few posts and lucky plays, they won it with about four and a half minutes left in OT. On to Vancouver for game 7!!!!!

The Good
  • The game didn't even start and the Hawks had GREAT news. Brent Seabrook would be back in the lineup and Bobby Lu would be on the bench. Those could be two huge developments for the Blackhawks, that could swing the game heavily in their direction. Bobby Lu couldn't get far enough away from the Hawks, when Cory Schneider broke his wishbone, and Borat was brought in, sore bunghole and all.
  • One Trick Bick "did what he does", and opened up the Hawks scoring, after Davey Bolland absolutely railroaded Dan Hamhuis, straight up the gullet, behind the net. The hit resulted in Hammy panicking, rushing a pass, which ended up five feet in front of the net on Bickell's stick. 1-1 and they were even again.
  • El Capitan undressed Andrew Alberts in a QUITE embarrassing manner, but Cory Schneider bailed Alberts out. Would have been a goal of the year candidate, had he scored, but, alas, it was not to be.
  • Bolly tied up the game, in the second, off a turnover by puckhandler extraordinaire Cory Schneider. The turnover was forced by Stalberg, and picked off by Kaner, who fed Bolland for a taste of the back of the cage. Two huge Canucks turnovers behind their own net, and two huge Hawks goals as a result of tenacious Hawks forechecking.
  • Frodo the Magnificent made his biggest play as a Blackhawk with four minutes into the third period. He got a step on the Kevin Bieksa and drew a tripping penalty that resulted in a penalty shot. Frodo not only beat Schneider on the penalty shot, but the resulting save attempt hurt Schneider's pride, or broke his twig-n-berries. Back in comes Borat.
  • It took about 88 plus games for Bickell to use that big body to separate someone from the puck, and Douchebag Bieksa was the lucky recipient. Couldn't have happened to a better guy. How is that jaw treating you now, Fucktard?
  • Ben Smith put the Hawks into game 7 after picking up a Hammer rebound and backhanding it up and over an ice humping Borat. The play was set up by a Boss 81 dump off to Hammer, after fighting through three Vancouver defenders on his back and various appendages. Game 7, here we come!!!!
  • Anyone who wants to mention the name Antti Niemi can now officially swipe Corey Crawford's taint, with one long swipe of the tongue. He's been the Hawks best player, most night, and he's singlehandedly squashed any and all talk of Marty Turco, or any other goalie, for that matter. The guy is a legitimate stud and has ice water in his veins. Unlike last year, there isn't a time where I doubted Crawford's abilities.
  • The Hawks consistently face raped the Canucks, at the dots, for the night. The only Canucks player to go positive was Ryan Kesler, and that wasn't by much (51%). Bolly had a rough night, going 8-21 (38%), but everything else he did made up for it.


The Bad
  • This one started with a puck in the back of the Hawks net, a couple of minutes in. Daniel Sedin banked one off and Hawks defender's stick and then off Crow, from behind the net. The whole play starting with Hammer throwing it up the middle of the ice, which is apparently a stellar idea. If you're a Canuck forward. We all saw the result. 1-0, Canucks.
  • Opening up the penalty kill with Deuce and Stromboli isn't one Dr. Linebender's best ideas, but it worked out in the end. Let's hope we don't see that combo in game 7.
  • As stupid of a play as it was, the Big Show choke slam on Burrows was hilarious. If you didn't laugh at that, you have NO sense of humor. Luckily, he got away with it, but it inspired Burrows to have his best game of the series, and probably of his playoff life. Momentum, young Big Show; Momentum. After that WWE style move, Big Show didn't see the ice again, and we're all grateful. Fifty nine seconds of glory, and not playing Show the rest of the game was Dr. Linebender's best move of the game.
  • Inside two minutes left in the first and Burrows made up for the Big Show choke slam, by cashing on a Stromboli turn over right in front of Crow. Stromboli half whiffed on a clearing pass and it landed right on Burrow's stick. He just snapped it into the net from about 15 feet out. That took the life out of the UC crowd, and Crow needed to make that one. There wasn't anything extraordinary about that shot.
  • Fifty eight seconds into the third and the old Hawks reared their ugly heads by giving up a 4-on-4 goal that was an odd man break. Tazer couldn't get back in enough time, and the Nucks were knocking on the door of round two.
  • The technical difficulties really sucked, but listening to Pat Foley do his radio call brought back memories. Pat Foley on Hawks radio was priceless.
  • When Schneider went out with an injury, we all thought that the injured Borat would be a soft target. Unfortunately, they could only throw a measly 2 shots at him in the third period. That made it WAY too easy on him. Makes you wonder if he really had a "tight back" or if he was TOLD that he had one; if you catch my drift. Saving 12 out of 13, hurt, and cold in relief is not too bad.
  • The Ginger Twins? Combined minus 4, for a grand total of minus 13 in the Hawks wins. I gotta tell you, guys, as CLUTCH it gets!


The Ugly
  • How many times has has the glass come loose in the UC? Have we not learned the art of putting up and taking down a rink? It's to a point where it's embarrassing.
  • I need someone to explain to me how Troy Brouwer can be "slew footed" in plain sight, and not draw a call, but immediately be called for a chintzy high sticking call. The Hawks killed the powerplay thanks to some luck, but it was some complete horseshit!
  • The Hawks MIGHT be the worst team in the league with the two man advantage. I can't really tell you WHY, but they SUCK at it. It's times like that when you wish you could decline a powerplay. Completely unacceptable!


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