Friday, April 22, 2011

Strike Hard, Strike Fast, No Mercy!

Hello, Hangman. We meet again! This will be the reoccurring theme for whatever games the Hawks have left against the Canucks. Like I said before, I CERTAINLY don't expect a comeback, but it sure would be nice against this traveling douchebag circus from the Vancouver Clown College. The Hawks need to concentrate on keeping up the speed and intensity they had Tuesday night, and ride the wave. If Tuesday was the last Blackhawks home game of the season, we should all be at peace with it. For whom the bell tolls.

I'm not really sure what happened, or when it happened, but the Hawks came out like defending that Cup was actually important to them. They spotted themselves a 3-0 lead roughly halfway through the first. Could we have asked for more? Apparently the answer is YES! The Hawks weren't AS dominant in the second, but two more goals put the Hawks up 5-0 after the first 40 minutes of the game. The last twenty was purely ceremonial, because the Hawks were on lockdown and the Canucks were, well, just trying to save a little face. In the end, The Hawks got their statement shutout, and the Canucks were left wondering what the hell just happened. Looks like Trent Walker will get to see another game in Chicago. Who's the big winner? Deuce is the big winner! A toast to you, shit talkers!

The Good
  • Boss 81, there you are! We've missed you, old friend! He opened up the scoring by rushing right up the gut of the ice, on the powerplay, and the Canucks defenders backed up somewhere into the third row of the seats. How you could give Boss that much room is beyond me. Morons! Skate, snipe, 1-0 Hawks! Say thank you, Boss.
  • In what seemed like a bizarre replay of game four, Twenty four seconds later, Deuce AGAIN put a huge goal past Borat, before he was done licking his wounds from the Hossa goal. Hawks fans couldn't have had a bigger smile on their faces. Nothing pretty about it, as there was traffic in front and Deuce just blew it by Bobby Lu, who looked dumbfounded. Whats that tickle in your throat, big guy? Could it be a choke?
  • For the first time all season, Deuce actually faked a shot and went around a defender. It took 87 games, but he eventually figured it out. That didn't result in a scoring chance, but shortly thereafter Deuce took a pass back and turned it into a prime powerplay chance, which turned it into a Kaner tip, and a 3-0 lead. This was like Christmas in April, and the Canucks were in desperation mode. How is your franchise goalie looking now, Canucklefucks? SO FUNNY!
  • Soupie, yes BRIAN CAMPBELL, finally showed that a Chicago Blackawk could hit someone when he blasted Daniel Sedin in the neutral zone. WHERE has this team been all year, and more specifically the previous 3 games? Initiating contact, and being aggressive. I'm shocked, but I REALLY like it. The message finally got through.
  • It could have EASILY been 4-0 with time left in the first, because of a Sharpie break-a-way that Bobby Lu actually stopped. That would have ended Borat's night early for the second game in a row, but he saved his ass, for the moment. Sharpie also missed one in the third on Schneider. Thank god THAT didn't kill the Hawks.
  • The hits just kept on coming in the second period, as Boss 81 took a long break-a-way pass from dep in his own zone and ended Borat's night. See ya, Franchise boy!
  • Deuce has been absolutely ON FIRE! He continued to be the norris trophy horse that we've all missed, from last year. He scored his second goal of the game to welcome Corey Schneider to the game. Again, nothing special, just traffic in front, and a nicely placed shot. His name might be Corey, but he is NO Crow!
  • Just is case anyone was wondering, Kevin Bieksa and Alex Edler are a couple of degenerate pieces of trash. Keepin it classy, I see, Vancouver. All I'm going to say, is that karma is a bitch, and you'll get what you deserve. They are in the same category as Avery, Ott, Cooke, Gilles, and Torres. I'd like the NHL officials to tell me what happened to the original Elbowing penalty that Edler was going to get. The ref had his hand in the air for a delayed penalty, and all that happened was that T-Brouw got a slaching penalty. Good job dropping the ball again, NHL. We're owed a suspension. An elbow to the head is not a hockey play.
The Bad
  • Sixteen seconds into the game and Daniel Sedin flails to the ice like a little girl to draw a crosschecking penalty, on Soupie. He deserved the little poke to the back of the head that Deuce gave him for playing it up. Little fairy, Bitch.
  • HOW Raffi Bananaphone is still allowed to run around and injure Ben Smith just astounds me. Someone needs to end that guy's series. He is a spineless cretin that needs a taste of his own medicine. Cheapshot artist goes knee to knee like that, and he should have his ugly fucking head taken off. If the NHL wasn't such a bunch of wishy-washy gutless morons, he would have been sitting in the pressbox and not injuring Hawks.
  • If Crawford bunghole wasn't puckered up with a two on one coming his way, and Big Show being the "one", it should have been. When Big Show makes a nice defensive play on you, you're having a BAD night.
The Ugly
  • The Creepy Gingers were combined -2, which is a -9 in the past two games. That's CLUTCH!
Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

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