"Watch me poop out this puck in your general direction"
I feel like this is deja vu all over again. Weren't we just here? Didn't we just watch this embarrassing mess once already? It this the encore replay of the Oilers game? Jesus GOD, this is getting old. This is the definition of "assisted suicide".
The Good
I can't believe I'm going to say this, but when Bickell was circling around before his goal, I thought it was Toews, and so did Pat Foley. Someone had to have talked to him because he has NEVER stickhandled OR SKATED like that before. I can't even come up with a clever analogy, because I'm shocked. Bryan Bickell, nice play. You get a pass for the rest of that game, for that one play. If you would have told me that the only Hawks goal would be by Bryan Bickell from Troy Brouwer, I would have punched you for trying to bullshit me.
The new lines generated some great energy, in the first period, as the Hawks had 14 shots on net. They actually looked dominating for one of the few times this season. Of course that lasted an entire 20 minutes, because they could only cash in on one of the 14 first period chances and the shitshow started in the second. Consistent, guys, consistently inconsistent.
Jack Skillington showed some coconuts by dropping the gloves even though the guy he fought had pillow fists. He gets a shot and a beer for the effort. Greco-roman man-hug aside, he also played with some heart, and a hint of attitude. I was one of those critics that said he was an underachiever and this was his last shot. Well, is IS his last shot, but he has answered every call out. He goes to the net with complete reckless abandon, he fights, he shoots, the only thing he hasn't done is finish. I have to think this will come with time.
The Bad
Just about everything from minute 21 until minute 60. You're facing a backup goalie, for a team that was in last place in their division, giving up the second most goals in their division. So what does this team do? Barely muster up one goal, that only went in because a Coyote defenseman tipped it between his own goalie's legs. That's it. They should be able to win every game 1-0 right?
Skillington gets the dual duty tonight, of being both the good AND the bad. This is by no fault of his own though, because Quenneville gets all the blame on this one. Once again though, second least amount of playing time. AWESOME! The sense of this is comical. Wouldn't want to throw people off with more than 9 minutes of the human wrecking ball, would we?
The Ugly
Fucking Duncan Keith. Yes, YOU, FUCKING DUNCAN KEITH! There is such a thing as being too aggressive and having too much confidence in your own speed. The sole reason the Yotes scored the two quick goals, in the second, was our NORRIS TROPHY WINNING DEFENSEMAN was caught pinching in too deep, and he left his brand new partner, Nick Boynton, hung out to dry. Now, yes, Turco should have been able to take the shot on the second goal, but really? The same stupid mistake twice in the same shift? What...is...going...ON? Minus TWO, Duncs. In 35 seconds, you collected the dubious honor of being a minus 2! Nick Boynton must be BEGGING to be thrown back to the third pairing, and Seabrook must have been secretly breathing a sigh of relief. A fitting end to this night would have been Duncan Keith pulling out his replica Norris Trophy and and pissing on it, as Joel Quenneville watches and says, "Oh, you missed some, right there". We have all been taken to some bizzaro alternate universe. After that second Phoenix goal, I had the same reaction as Matt Killion at Second City Hockey: "Shoot me in the face". That says it all, and thank you Matt.
John Scott, again, always and forever. Four minutes and thirty three seconds of fucking ice time. 4:33! I saw Patrick Kane double shifted on that line, because FrankenScott is dressed and sitting in the best seat in the house. Is John Scott's contribution SO important that he needs to actually DRESS, for four and a half minutes of ice time? Let me answer that. NO! Joel, I'm thoroughly BAFFLED! Tell me what four minutes of John Scott did for the Chicago Blackhawks last night. PLEASE; because I'd like to hear this. I could name a team full of AHL'ers that would have, and could have, contributed more. In fact, I could probably name 50 beer league guys that could have. It's ridiculous. Enough, PLEASE! I cry "uncle"!
