Boss 81 Officially Out, Morin Officially in, Boynton Officially Useless

As reported by Tracy Myers at CSN, Boss 81 collided with Dick Boynton, and was assisted off the ice during yesterday's practice favoring his right leg. Today it was announced that Boss 81 will be out 2-3 weeks with the always exciting and specific "lower body injury". This...

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King Crawford

The first period wasn't exactly worth staying up for. Other than a couple of Hawks chances, the Kings had the majority of quality chances on tips. No harm, no foul, as the period finished 0-0. The Second started with a lot of the same. Powerplays both ways, but no goals....

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Duck Hunt

So, after the San Jose debacle, Quenneville decided to change up the defensive pairings and rightfully so. Keith was back with his hetero-lifemate Seabrook, Campbell was back with Hammer, and the wonder duo of Cullimore and Boynton were together. I feel sorry for anyone...

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Sharkfin Beat Down

Well, it looks like the Sharks decided that throwing their bodies around was the best redemption for getting swept last spring. I generally think the Sharks are a bunch of overrated crybaby little girls, but there is one Shark I'd love to see paroling the Hawks blue line....

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Reigning at Club Baba-Lu

Assclown Kevin Bieksa does his dolphin impression Now, that's a LITTLE more like it. Moustachio shook up the lines and it seemed to light a fire under the asses of the Hawks. Crawford was in net and he deserved to be after the lackluster effort by Turco last night. Let...

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Flaming Ass Syndrome

Well, I told you it was a little early for the circle jerk. The Hawks walked into Calgary and got their sorry asses handed to them. The were outshot, outplayed, outhit and pretty much outclassed. For what it was worth, the game was over after 2 periods, where the Hawks...

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How do They Sleep While Their Beds are Burning

We've been waiting 20 games for this, but lets not all drop our happy pants and fire up a circle jerk. This is the lowly Edmonton Oilers, and this is how we are SUPPOSED to beat them. You really have to ask yourself how in the hell the Hawks allowed themselves to be beaten...

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I Got 99 Problems and a Bitch Ain't One

As I was listening to the replay of the Howard Stern show, Jay-Z was being interviewed and discussed the aforementioned song. What an appropriate song for the state of the Hawks. Who'd have thunk that we'd be sitting on the ass edge of the circus trip in 7th place overall,...

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Semi-Attractive Duckling

The Hawks had one last chance to get THIS Circus rolling before they leave for a 6 game road trip. Now comes the ACTUAL infamous Circus trip, but as of late, every Hawks game could be considered a Circus trip. Tell me if this sounds familiar; The Hawks go into a third period...

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Screw the Chopa, the Sky is Falling

Linesman Pierre Racicot took the night off to referee a midget wrestling match It just continues to get more and more frustrating for the Hawks, and I've run out of patience. The core of the team continues to sleep through the games, and the people like Skille and Stalberg...

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Coyote Ugly

"Watch me poop out this puck in your general direction" I feel like this is deja vu all over again. Weren't we just here? Didn't we just watch this embarrassing mess once already? It this the encore replay of the Oilers game? Jesus GOD, this is getting old. This is the...

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Morin Sent Packing

In an uneventful move, 19 year old rookie Jeremy Morin was sent back to the Ice Hogs, Monday afternoon. Considering he only played 18:57 in two games, and Boss 81 is back from injury, it doesn't surprise may that he was sent down. His short amount of playing time was a combination...

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When Casual Fans Strike Again

The whole reason I began this column is that I was tired of watching idiots spew their moronic B.S. all over the internet, regarding the Blackhawks. I felt the need to debunk the stupid comments, and I've done a pretty damn good job, thus far. SO, yesterday afternoon, I...

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Spoiled Oil

"Maybe if I imitate MJ, Coach won't bench me...guess not" I know this sounds like a broken fucking record, but talk about a frustrating loss. Just when I thought things might start to hit the upswing, with Boss 81 back in the lineup, and they play a game like this. Stellar...

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Hot-Lanta Shootout at the OK Coral

Well that wasn't very pretty, was it? The job was accomplished but talk about a barn burner. It wasn't exactly the Dead Wings they played last night, and yet they let Atlanta stay in the game. At times Atlanta looked like they might even run away with it. As they would...

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Morin to Make Hawks Debut in Atlanta

It looks like Christmas has come early for all the mouth breathing jackass journalists out there. Highly touted rookie Jeremy Morin was recalled from Rockford, today, and will make his debut against the team that traded him away this summer, the Atlanta Thrashers. Leave...

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Devil's Advocate

"HIGH FIVE!" It's official, I'm thoroughly annoyed. It took 15 games to do it, but the taste in my mouth resembles the mixture of piss and murky pond water. Blame the injuries (New Jersey has more), blame the trades (only Buff and Ladd are even on the radar), blame Obama...

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Ben Smith and Ryan Potulny sent to Rockford

No big surprise here. Ben Smith's spot on this team is interchangeable, and pretty much, so is Potulny's. Who knows what this means, in the grand scheme of things. Hossa is skating but his legs weren't the problem, and Bolland, maybe his lobotomy took. Actually, Bolland...

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Sleep Walker, New York Rangers

Not exactly a memorable game, or a game that we'd WANT to remember, which is becoming a tragic theme. Brian Campbell was in the lineup for his first game of the season, and the Defense looked considerably better, by only allowing 23 shots, but the bad news is that 3 went...

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Broad Street Bullies?

It's not often that I throw my two cents in about other teams in the league, but I came across some interesting developments from Saturday nights game between the Flyers and the Islanders, and had to weigh in. The Flyers opened up a whole barrel of whoop-ass on the Isles and...

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