There's No "O" In Anaheim

"Really, guys, I don't know how I'm still out here either"

Game number one of 2011 and it's in sunny SoCal against the Ducks. The first period had plenty of action with each team putting up one goal. Anaheim put a bad coverage goal in for the only goal of the second, and the third was scoreless. This Toews injury is going to be THAT painful, I suppose. Good news is he's ahead of schedule and could be back against the Kings. Thank god!!! Another superstar at less than 100%. Now Kaner won't feel so lonely.

The Good

• Eddie O, "Gotta love the Hockey moms". Priceless!
  
• One Trick Bick continued his torrid scoring pace. Even though it wasn't a power play goal, it was only about 3 seconds after the PP was over, so in all reality, it was a PP goal. The Ducks couldn't get the puck out of their own end and it ended up in the back of their cage.
  
• Boss 81 is just that much better than every other player controlling the puck. He keeps it until he wants you to have it, no sooner.
  
• The fourth line really cycles well, just too bad that we hardly see them. I take that back. We saw Pick-To-Click Vik and Skillington, but Snake was banished to the bench for the third period.
  
• Corey Crawford was absolutely standing on his head, in the third period. It could have easily been 4-1. Nice to see CrawDaddy back in the cage. I'm officially on the Crawford Bandwagon.
  
• P2C-Vik and Skillington were the best forwards on the ice, period.
  

The Bad

• There is only person I'd want leading a 2-on-1 less than Invisi-Bolly, and his name is John Scott. The next time up the Ice, Hossa actually took it off Bolly's stick, like the neighborhood stud taking it away from the feeble little runt.
  
• The Ducks were peppering the net before they scored the first goal. Crawford was screened by about 4 people, as well. I'm sure this is why Q will take Hendry off defense, but it wasn't his fault at all.
  
• Ryan Johnson, Duncan Keith and Brent Seabrook got beat pretty badly on the second Ducks goal. How do you let TWO opposing players behind our top pairing? Fastest skater in the league, eh, Dunc? Corey Perry made him look like he was standing still.
  
• The following shift, 100 year old Teemu Selanne broke between the #2 and #7. It's going to be one of those games, isn't it?
  
• And two shifts later, Keith willingly just handed it over to a Ducks forward behind his own net. One of those games, indeed.
  
• Excuse me, Pat? Jake the Snake is not Pat Kane. Not...even...close. And at this point, Dowell has a better chance of putting the puck in the net. Well, that is, when he's not being benched for no reason...more on that later.
  
• Speaking of Pat Kane. Did he dress last night? Obviously not at 100%, I guess, and nice penalty on Selanne. Could have really iced the game on that mistake, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway.
  
• I'm not sure why I haven't noticed this before, but when Hammer tries to skate at top speed, his arms move faster than his legs.
  
• I know they put on a little pressure, but what did Skillington and Pick To Click Vik do to earn time with Kopecky? At least Jake the Snake is competent. Snake sits while Kopecky just sucks the life out of everyone around him.
  
• Quenneville is so confident in Sharpie at center that he sends Ryan Johnson out to take Sharpie's offensive zone faceoffs. That's what I call a confidence builder, and an act of desperation.
  

The Ugly

• Kopy, Kopy, Kopy. ANOTHER offensive zone penalty. C'mon now, this is really stupid. But then again, you're a stupid person. He's basically useless on the Powerplay, as well.
  
• The curious case of Keith and Seabrook could best be described as an "adventure". They were all over the place, and it was scary.
  
• I still don't get Ryan Johnson. Jeff Taffe and Ryan Potulny aren't better than him? Really? Because he is really not that good.
  
• Bench Jake the Snake, Quenneville? What are you out of your mind? Kane hasn't done shit for 3 games, and you still trot him out there shift after unproductive shift. I know you can't bench him, but playing him as much as Quenneville is, just isn't producing results.
  

I'm fed up, Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

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Winter Classic Observations

First Period

• The Camera angles are fucking awful, who is producing? Ray Charles?
  
• The penalty in Crosby was not a penalty shot. He never had clear possession of the puck.
  
• First real Winter Classic fight, and it was a pretty damn good one.
  
• Varlamov's mask looked bad ass.
  
• Like the rest of his taste in equipment, Fleury's is pitifully ugly.
  
  
• Pierre McGuire is still the biggest douche in the NHL, and makes me want to vomit up my inner organs and jam rusty screwdrivers in my ears.
  

Second Period

• Ovie needs to just shoot on that breakaway
  
• Great save on one end turns into a goal on the other.
  
• Fleury got completely raped on that Caps goal. Nothing like being speared in the crotch with random sticks
  
• John Carlson is a little..."lacking" on D.
  
• Tyler Kennedy has been beaten about the face with an ugly stick. He looks like a pug.
  
• Nice wraparound Chimera. Excellent fancypants screw up.
  
• Fluery stickhandles like an old woman. You're no Marty Turco with the puck, dude, but then again Turco has been no Fleury in every other way.
  
• Holy shit that shootout between Bettis and Harris was embarrassing. I'd rather watch little kids do it. Those two goofballs don't give a shit.
  

Third Period Period

• Hockey Day in America from Millennium Park in Chicago? Interesting.
  
• Camera angles. FUCKING TERRIBLE!!!!!!
  
• Beautiful give-n-go with Fehr and Chimera.
  
• After watching that 24/7 thing on HBO, I anoint Fehr's wife SMOKING HOT!
  
• Hey Ovie, you can't makeout with the goalie. I know he's all french and romantic but FAIL!
  

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Shark Attack

So, the game against San Jose marks the first game without Captain Serious. With Seabrook gaining the additional "A" and Jake Dowell taking center of the first line. The Hawks started well with a powerplay goal but gave up a bad one on a slow line change, and finished the first twenty minutes tied 1-1. The second period was a complete shit show for the first 19 minutes, but Troy Brouwer and Brian Campbell tied it up at 3's. They weren't so fortunate in the third, as the Sharks scored on the powerplay and finished the Hawks off with an empty net goal.

The Good

• One of the biggest bright spots this year is Jake the Snake Dowell. I'm glad to see him getting a chance to center the first line.
  
• The powerplay cashed in the first time they were out there, with Kopecky feeding a wide open Sharpie, who gave Niemi a little top cheese. Maybe a night of powerplay feasting? Not so much.
  
• Duncan Kieth was dominant in his own zone. Simply dominant. Just too bad there was such a suckfest around him. Everyone else around him looked like they'd never seen a puck before.
  
• Gotta love Brouwer's powerplay goal that was banked off Niemi's stick. That made me laugh like Deniro in Cape Fear.
  
• Soupy, Soupy, Soupy! Campbell bit the hand that use to feed him, with an ENORMOUS goal to end the second period. That's what this team needed going into the third, because they were stinking up the joint before that. Of course it was right back to
  

The Bad

• It was a matter of time before Turco really turned it over, and tonight was that night. He shot it right into the chest of the Shark's Ferriero, and the panic alarm went off. Luckily Duncs was prepared to bail him out, and did. I understand you're confident Marty, but there is such a thing as too confident. Take it down a notch.
  
• The Hawks played with fire and had a bad line change in which Scott Nichol took a pass in behind the defense and just put the shot through Turco. That's one Marty will want back.
  
• The Hawks were bending and finally broke on the 5-on-3. Turco didnt exactly put a stellar effort in on that one. You'd like to see him stay somewhat upright on that one, not flopping around like a fish. Ferriero was left with the entire top half of the net, and didn't miss it.
  
• On the third goal, Hammer wanted nothing to do with tying up Dany Heatley. Another Goal that the Twatter and Facebook dopes will blame on Marty. That, folks, was a defensive breakdown goal.
  
• San Jose goal number four was another powerplay goal against. The Hawks penalty kill is simply atrocious. AWFUL! After yet another bad penalty, Joe-ver Rated Thornton tipped a point shot past Turco. That was all the Sharks needed.
  

The Ugly

• Hey Tomokop? Another offensive zone penalty? Dude, WHAT THE FUCK? Nice turnover on the powerplay, too. You're just batting 1.000 aren't you? BRUTAL mistakes. Where does it start and where does it end? He can't win a faceoff. The emply net goal was solely his fault. When does this end? Every time I jot down something he screws up on, he does it again or something worse.
  
• Nick Boynton. NICK FUCKING BOYNTON!!! He takes a stupid ass offensive zone penalty, and the resulting powerplay has the puck ending up in the back of the net. WHY must we endure this shit? He's a blockhead, that's average at best, and he's making Jassen Cullimore look like Bobby Orr. Why would you blatantly slash the stick out of a guys hand like that? Brainless twit!
  

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

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House of Blues

Before the game last night in St. Louis we were informed that Corey Crawford was still not 100%, and Patrick Kane would return from injury. One would have thought that the Kane news would be the start of something good. We were fooled. The game got off to a physical start in the first couple of minutes, and the Blues dominated the Hawks but the Hawks led 1-0 after the first frame. Clearly the way the Blues were dominating, that lead wasn't going to last long. The second was a continuation of the first period and the Blues tied up the game. As you might expect from a team that lost their captain to injury, had their second string goalie playing and had lost two other players for stretches of the second due to injury, the Hawks lost all steam in the third period. The Blues put up the game winning and game icing goals in the third, and the Hawks never really threatened a serious comeback. Lets hope Toews is a fast healer.

The Good

• Big Show made an effort to earn his Twatter name "TheMURDERSAURUS" (I couldn't make this up, if I tried), in his scuffle with Cam Janssen. He hasn't been beaten in a fight yet, and that's going to make him a celebrity in this city. It's also going to make all the people that watch the game just for the fights tingle in their private parts. Too bad it was staged and pointless. Cam Janssen is just a dopey looking cementhead that can't manage more than 2:48 of playing time. Some talented kid is riding a bus in Peoria Illinois, because that imbecile is a part of the team.
  
• Jake the Snake's goal was awful. It certainly looked like a change-up, and Conklin just missed it. Pick-To-Click Vik gets an "A" for stealing that puck, seeing Snake, and feeding him for the knucklepuck.
  
• I don't care what the simpletons on Twatter, or the mouth breathing mongoloids on Facebook say; Marty Turco did NOT, in any way shape or form, cost the Blackhawks that game. He faced 43 shots, and bailed the "clown car" defense out multiple times. He was not brought here to face 43 shots EVER. He was brought here to face 25 to 30 shots a game and not lose it for them. This is above and beyond his job description. If you think that Turco was anything less than great last night, you need a lobotomy; and to have your fan card revoked, because you're an ignoramus.
  

The Bad

• We have enough choices at center, so this abortion of Kopecky at center needs to end yesterday. Please. I beg of you. Also, Nice offensive zone penalty, asshat.
  
• It was a matter of time until the Blues took the lead. They were dominating a majority of the game and the Hawks were playing with fire by taking bad penalties.
  
• This just wasn't the Hawks night, with that third goal going in. Turco did a lot to keep that out, and his effort was stellar, but he was about half a second too late.
  
• Kaner's missed breakaway ended up being huge, because that would have swung momentum back the Hawks way. Sure the puck rolled, and he was a little rushed, but that's what he's paid to do. You're playing against the backup goalie, and you have a twenty foot lead on ANYONE. It doesn't have to be pretty, just get the job done.
  

The Ugly

• The powerplay. First in the league, right? Looks a lot different without Jonny B Goode, doesn't it? No feast, just famine. I didn't ask Santa Christ for this.
  
• Leave it up to good ol Nick Boynton to turn it over with no one around, and have it end up in the back of the damn net. Just blindly throw it around the boards, like you knew something no one else on the ice or watching on TV did, Nick. Really. Jordan Hendry isn't good enough to do that?
  
• I left the best/worst for last, because it could make or break their season. The injury to Captain Serious. As bad as Kane's injury looked, this one doesn't look as bad, but that's purely speculation. Actually, it's a truck load of wishful thinking, because without Toews, this team looks dead inside. No inspiration, no fire, and absolutely no coconuts. It's never good when a player doesn't return to the ice, and this was no exception. If this is serious, the loss of the guy that held them together through so many early injuries could be the reason this team falls apart.
  

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

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The Kaner Shuffle

Leave it up to me to be late to the party but there has been QUITE a little buzz on Twatter about this "Kaner Shuffle", so I had to check this mess out...and what a mess it is...Have a look for yourself:

• Put some shoes on, kid. What are you, some kind of Cab Driver robbing Hillbilly?
  
  
• Nice, "White Boy" shimmy. THAT will do a lot to change the perception that straight white men can't dance.
  
  
• Sharpie's reaction is the best. Pure embarrassment.
  
  
• Yes, that's the ghost of Jordan Hendry making an appearance from beyond the unmarked west side abandoned lot grave Quenneville has him buried in.
  
  
• That Carrot Top vest/jacket thing is straight out of an 80's Devo video, or "Back to the Future".
  
  
• Marty the Midget is right out of Goodfellas. I think he's channeling his inner Joe Pesci.
  
  
• Apparently, Pick-to-Click Vik and Hammer are required to appear together because they are representing the common homeland, and Vik is a smiling mute.
  
  
• The "Can-Can" is definitely the "Can't-Can't".
  
  
• Carrot Top mumbles like a slow mental patient with mucus issues.
  
  
• "That's an NHL Superstar right there" CLASSIC by Jonny B Goode. Great "Toews Faces" too, Captain Serious. The faces that the woman/women in your life must experience have to be priceless.
  
  
• Marty the Midget looks like he has arthritis, when he's dancing.
  
  
• Brouwser must be a HOOT on the college campuses.
  
  
• Pick-to-Click Vik apparently doesn't even have enough balance to stand on one leg. Shouldn't we be worried about that?

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Morin hurt in WJC OT win

TSN and Tracy Myers from CSN are reporting this morning that Blackhawks Jeremy Morin was injured last night in the USA's 3-2 opening night OT victory last night. Morin apparently "suffered a shoulder injury that could be significant." This is not good news for the Hawks, but there is speculation that the Hawks were going to keep him in Rockford the rest of the year so that his rookie contract doesn't kick in.

A junior-aged player with a contract can play up to nine NHL games as a trial period. If he is returned to junior before the tenth game, his contract is effectively put on hold: when he goes to training camp the following season, he will be in the first year of his contract.

Once the player appears in his tenth NHL game, his contract kicks in. He can still be returned to his junior club after that. But at season's end, a full contract year will expire.

Once he plays his 10th NHL contest, he is officially considered a rookie and his contract goes into effect. The AHL games with the Rock-beria Ice Hogs have nothing to do with his rookie status or contract.

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The Redcoats Are Coming!

Before the game we learned that Corey Crawford was ill and Hannu Toivonen was called up to back up Marty Turco. Not only that, but Boss 81 and Pick-To-Click Vik were back on the ice. After a solid first by Turco and some dominant play by Boss, the Hawks were up 1-0 after the first. The second period was fairly uneventful with neither team scoring and finished 1-0, Hawks. The third was a whole different story as the Hawks pounced on multiple BJ mistakes and scored 3 goals. Solid game, and good win. Things are finally coming together.

The Good

• It didn't take Boss long to make a difference in the game as the rebound of his 1st shot of the game was put in by Kopecky. Tomo-Kop has to be DELIGHTED that his big brother is back on the ice. Even though he's CLEARLY playing out of position, the look on his face after he scored was something to the effect of this:
  
  
• Just when you start to think the powerplay is a shanghai fire drill, Sharpie rips a one timer in the back of the net. Feast or Famine.
  
• Invisi-Bolly had to get into the action, on the powerplay no less, in the third. The play was made by Bickell and Brouwer, with two nice passes. The Killer B's, Yo! Yes, That was sarcasm.
  
• I didn't even have time to jot down notes about the Bolland goal and Sharpie takes a Power Brouwer pass and rifles it in the net. Game OVER!
  
• The Hawks were out shot, but it was only by two. Twenty seven shots is respectable, and a nice even keel for Marty to get his feet wet, again. Keep this up, and things will be looking up VERY soon.
  

The Bad

• Hey, Brouwer? Sharpie? Anytime you'd like to shoot the puck would be OK with us. Not like they are just GIVING away 3 on 2's.
  
• Nick Boynton if you'd like to pass you your own team, we'd greatly appreciate it. Just an idea.
  
• Skillington has to go 5-hole on that penalty shot. No two ways about it. The rush that got him the penalty shot was a phenomenal one. That's just reason why he can't waste away on that forth line. Back down to seven and a half minutes of time for him, which is just brutal. He goes from the top line and 2 goals to the forth line and seven fucking minutes of play. Why do I bother?
  
• The powerplay looked utterly clueless for the first two periods. Makes you wonder how that squad is one of the best in the league. Sometimes it's just baffling. Of course I ate my words in the third by what the hell was going on in the first two periods?
  

The Ugly

• I was rooting for Turco and I just knew some dumb shit would break up the shutout, and of course, I was right. Bolland taking exception to some roughness in the offensive zone led to a BJ's powerplay, and a double screen on Turco ended up in the back of the net.
  

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

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To Catch a Predator

Two days before Christmas and what is our gift? A game that will most likely be low scoring and close. As advertised the first period was exactly that, as Bolly netted the only goal and the Hawks outshot the Preds 13-9. The second was more of the same, with Skillington denting the net, and the Hawks going into the locker room up 2-0. The third period had slightly more action with the Hawks scoring 2 and the Preds getting one on the powerplay. Not the most exciting game, but effective and productive. I'll take 6 more months of these games, if we get the same result.

The Good

• Well, what do ya know? Invisi-Bolly decides to make an appearance for Christmas. What did we do to deserve that? Not like Lindback really gave him much of a fight. After he completely shit the bed on that pass, his ego was so hurt he just fell over in front of Bolly. Just for good measure, Invisi-Bolly assisted on Skillingtons goal. Why Bolland drew three Nashville defenders is beyond me. Davey gets three and Skille gets none. Makes perfect sense. Don't call off the Amber alert yet, because he's bound to disappear again.
  
• FINALLY, Skillington showed he has a little sniper in him by roofing that goal over Lindback's glove shoulder for a 2-0 lead. Look at that, Joel, he CAN play on the powerplay, eh? Don't know WHO has been screaming about that all year long.
  
• Skillington showed a little, yes I'm going to say it, Bryan Bickell with his snapper halfway through the third to pretty much put the game away. I'm not sure just what the Preds bring out of him, but I like it.
  
• I keep saying it, but Crawford has been solid in a non spectacular way. Another great game. He needs a nickname soon, so that's my New Years Resolution.
  
• After three games the "faceoff artist", and "penalty kill virtuoso" Ryan Johnson finally made an appearance on the penalty kill. He blocked two shots, and I guess I'm supposed to be impressed. As of right now, I'm still not impressed, nor will I be. Three forwards are scheduled to come back and there are only 2 "expendables", Big Show and Hendry. Guess who loses that 3rd spot?
  
• One Trick Bick hit the score sheet again with a nice little headfake and snap shot. It's odd to see him actually score inside the circles, for once, but lets ride this wave. I saw someone comment on the Madhouse Enforcer and say that Bick reminded him of Brett Hull. Let's not get crazy now, that's just silly talk. Anyway, Game icing goal...Merry Christmas.
  

The Bad

• Crawford's shutout bid ended when the Preds scored on a slow deflection at the top of a powerplay. Once again the penalty kill unit failed. This needs to change NOW!

The Ugly

• No real ugly for two games in a row, so Merry Christmas...
  
  

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

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Kings of Queens

Not much worth remembering in the first period. The teams each had 8 shots on net and the Hawks were up 1-0. The second period started fast and furious as both teams lit the lamp, but after the jitters settled, it finished up 3-1, Hawks. The Third was pretty slow too. The Kings put one in and the Hawks held off a late rush to preserve the 3-2 win.

The Good

• Big Show/Wesgarth 2.0 wasn't quite the ordeal that the first one was. Actually, it really wasn't much of anything, other than some hugs and kisses. Overall, Show won, but not YouTube worthy.
  
• Jonny B Goode continued his solid play with a big first goal that went off Drew Douchebag's stick and just changed direction enough to make it into the net.
  
• The only good part about Ryan Johnson playing fourth line center, is that Jake The Snake gets to play some meaningful minutes. He has earned it, and I'm glad to see he's gotten rewarded. The bad new's is I can't see Johnson sticking around once, Kaner, Stalberg, and Hossa are back, so that means back to the fourth line for Snake.
  
• Duncan Keith's goal was enormous after the Kings had just tied the game up. That's what a captain does. Both goals thus far by captains.
  
• Fernan-dog Pisani connected late in the second after a Kings shot ricocheted around the boards like a superball and Invisi-Bolly took it hard down the ice, and put a pass through One Trick Bick's stick and through to The Dog, who sniped it where momma keeps the peanutbutter.
  

The Bad

• Ryan Johnson almost got his first Hawks goal, on his own net. I still don't get it. I just don't get it.
  
• The Kings goal was certainly a breakdown of the D and a bad play by Crawford. I could break it down, and berate someone for it, but it's gettingold.
  
• The Kings second goal was a breakdown of the penalty kill unit, and some bad luck by Hjalmarsson and Crawford. Momma said there'd be days like this.

The Ugly

• I can't say there was enough to call anything ugly. Color me shocked.
  

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

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My Big Fat Greek Funeral

Well, all the bells and whistles were out to honor former teammate Chris Chelios, but we'll get to those festivities later. Before the game it was announced that Pick-To-Click Vik was out of the lineup, with a concussion. The Second Period started 2-1 but the Hawks were losing momentum quickly. The Hawks went into the third period leading 3-1, and looking good.

The Good

• The Chelios thing was nice even though there were quite a few boo's, but he brushed it off, and finished on a good note. He turned that crowd around, and I felt good for him.
  
• The powerplay finally clicked as Sharpie as Seabrook fed him for a beautiful one timer. What a great start.
  
• One Trick Bick was at it once AGAIN. the guy does shoot VERY well. awesome shot. I can't say too much ad about him the way he's playing. Great job, Bick!
  
• Jack Skillington has been shooting the hell out of the puck. Sure, he probably passes up some passes, but he's shooting on net, which quite a few Hawks aren't doing.
  
• Brian Campbell absolutely made a phenomenal play on the delayed penalty and led the rush for Kopecky, and ultimatly the goal. If Campbell isn't on the ice, that doesn't happen.

The Bad

• This just in, Invisi-Bolly turned the puck over again in his own zone.
  
• I hate seeing pro players throw their sticks on plays like the open netter. Fuck you, Rafalski. Dickhead.
  

The Ugly

• Ok, I already don't like dumb ass Ryan Johnson. Why in the FUCK you ign some dopey has been that has nothing left in the tank beyond me. That #17 is going to be free again REAL soon, because Johnson is awful.
  
• what the hell are Big Show, Ryan Fucking Johnson, and Jordan Hendry doing out there with Dick Boynton, and Jassen Cullimore? Please? Tell me? The opposing team calls a time out and that's the line you produce me, Quenneville? C'MON, man. That's just fucking STUPID!

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

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