Friday, March 18, 2011

Green Clovers, Yellow Stars

"You were a Dildo when I was here, and you're still a Dildo, Otter"

Someone has stolen me lucky charms! I know, it's a lame attempt at St. Patrick's Day humor. Anyway, on to the task at hand, which is the Blackhawks game last night, against the recently lukewarm Dallas Stars. A day after the Hawks dismantled the Sharks, the Sharks rolled into the Big "D" and took out their frustrations, beating the Stars 6-3. This apparently left a bad taste in the mouths of the Dallas Stars. If you remember, the Hawks lost to the Stars 4-3 in a shootout, back on Feb 11th, when all three Dallas players scored on Turco in the shootout.

Neither team looked especially good in the first period and the Hawks dodged a few bullets, but they still went into the break down 0-1. The Hawks looked even worse in the second period as they let up two bad goals, and could have easily given up two more, chasing their starting netminder from the game in the process. As you would expect in this abortion of a game, the Hawks were as consistent as could be, and slept through the third period, as well, getting whitewashed 5-0. Embarrassing.

The Good
  • Stalberg is just SO damn fast. He blew past the Stars defense like they weren't moving at all, and got a great chance by driving hard to the net. More of that will get him a great deal more playing time, because there is no one on the team with THAT kind of blinding speed. He was also the only Hawk that looked like he cared.
  • Marty Turco's glove save on Stars Buttnutt Steve Ott was a huge save, and could have swung momentum in the Hawks favor. I said COULD HAVE. Odd man breaks, anyone?
  • In a night filled with so much bad, the Hawks actually did very well in the faceoff circles, with all 4 Hawks centermen winning over half of their draws. Obviously, THAT did a whole world of good.
The Bad
  • The Hawks looked out of sorts early in the first, giving up quite a few big chances in the opening 5 minutes, but Crow kept the Stars at bay. Unfortunately, it didn't last.
  • On the Hawks first powerplay, Sharp and Keith got hypnotized by Stephane Robidas loving stare and let Goligoski streak past them. Good thing Robidas couldn't hit him with a manageable pass, because he would have been in on a break-a-way from the red line in.
  • Jake the Snake gave Brandon "Don't Call Me Steven" Segal a few straight lefts to the grizzle, and sent him away bloodied, after their first period fight. Not sure what that was all about, but Snaker got the victory. Unfortunately, as we've seen all year, it was bad timing and swung momentum in favor of the Stars.
  • I'm not sure how sure you lose track of Steve Ott, but THREE Blackhawks did. Hossa, Hammer, and Seabrook all let the Buttnut in on a break-a-way from, stop me if you've heard this, THE RED LINE IN. One break and one near break in the same period means your defense is having issues.
  • Things didn't change in the second period, for our boys in white. Seabrook pinched in the Stars zone and let Ribeiro and Benn in on a 2-on-1 against Keith, and eventually, Crow. Benn took the pass from Ribeiro and one timed it into the virtually wide open net. To add insult to injury, Seabrook knee'd Crow in the side of the head as he was lumbering back into the play.
  • A few minutes later, Crawford's night was brought to a close, as the Stars came in on a 3-on-2 and gave up yet another back door one timer. This time it was Leddy and Keith getting torched, because Kaner decided playing defense wasn't on his agenda last night and jumped on the bench.
  • The odd man breaks just KEPT coming as the Hawks got a powerplay with about six and a half minutes left in the second. This was absolutely brutal to watch. NO team should give up this many odd man breaks. It's just disrespectful to your netminders, because it shows that they aren't lucid enough to care what happens on the back end.
  • Brandon Segal scored the fifth goal of the game for the Stars, off a crossbar rebound that Turco couldn't locate. None of this was Turc182's fault and I don't want to sound like I am coming down on him, but it seems like he completely freezes when he can't find a loose puck, rather than actually LOOK for it. Just a casual observation. Snake, and Stromboli left Segal there to poke it into the net.
The Ugly
  • I can't really explain what Deuce was thinking, when he took a cheap shot at Jamie Benn, who was simply doing a good job of killing a penalty. Of course Buttnut was on the ice and took exception, without any repercussion. It's just one of those nights, when that Dildo gets away with retaliation. Watching him sit on the bench with that smug look on his face, like he had done something worth praise, makes me want to do what Dany Heatley did to him Tuesday night.
  • Turco WAS playing well until he tried to play swordsman and passed the puck right to Jason Williams open hand, who got one of the easiest goals ever. That one will make blooper rolls for years to come. OUCH!
  • At least Mike Ribeiro didn't score, because THAT would require someone's head on a platter.
  • Marian Hossa was -3 on the night, take it for what it's worth.

Here are the video highlights for your viewing pleasure:

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