Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Binny's Blasphemy Depot

This may come off as harsh, but it has to be pointed out. This atrocity has gone on long enough, and given the name and tone of my little home, here, who better to bring this up? That was a rehtorical question, for future reference.

Any Blackhawks fan that has even casually watched games for the last few seasons has had Binny's Beverage Depot commercials pounded into their head like something in "A Clockwork Orange" (Google it, if you are too young to get the reference). If you have watched the games religiously, you could almost certainly recite each and every one, word for word. The past few seasons had quirky commercials that even stared the likes of comedic legend Dan Akroyd, and it was great to see him promoting a Chicago based business, but the line has to be drawn somewhere. Which brings me to my latest gripe, and before I get into the specifics, I want you all, especially the ones from outside the Chicago area, to watch these commercials. These are ACTUAL commercials that run, ad nauseum, during Blackhawks games.

If you aren't disturbed by those, you should be, there is something wrong with you. Now, I grew up watching Hockey, and even though I was too young to witness Tony O in his prime, I GREATLY respect what the man did for the Blackhawks and the NHL, in general. He is a league legend and Hall of Famer. Those commercials disturb, and anger me to a degree at which I cannot accurately describe. They are truly blasphemous, and the more they are played, the more offended I get. I have dabbled in marketing and promotions, so bring me quirky and cute, I get that, but nothing about watching Tony Esposito look extremely uncomfortable and senile makes me want to spend my money at this establishment. In fact, it fuels an extreme distaste and anger for the company. He is made up to look like the Crypt Keeper with that empty look in his eyes, and treated like a cheap, senile old man. They are not humorous or even interesting. These ads are a sad, and unfortunate representation of a Blackhawk legend, that make me, and should make any Blackhawks fan, mad each and every time we see them. What are the fans of younger generations suppose to gather from one of the greatest goaltenders in NHL history, by watching these? I am curious to find this out.

Even if you put all that aside, the premise of the commercials do not even make sense the slightest bit of sense. Anyone who vaguely knows hockey, can tell you that a goal horn doesn't signify an incoming shot, in which Tony O should get ready to face. A goal horn means exactly what you would think it means, a goal has been scored, STUPID ASSES! So, are you telling us that he has gone senile and can no longer figure out the difference? What is the other commercial suppose to signify? That Tony Esposito is too cheap, or broke, to buy a nice gift for Rocky Wirtz, or that he doesn't like Rocky enough to buy him something nice? Either scenario is not only disrespectful to Tony, but to Rocky Wirtz. If it were aimed at the late Bill Wirtz, it might be something I could stand behind, but it's not. The irony of this all is the Wirtz family runs one of the largest Liquor distributing companies in the country. How do you think that ties in? The only think I DO like, is the girl with the red hair, but ANYWAY...

For my own sanity, I will take my memories of the great #35 like this, thank you very much:

and Binny's can go pound sand.

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