Saturday, January 17, 2015

Blackhawks vs. Jets 4-2 Loss Recap

Night Of Horrors

by Patrick Stankus

I first want to apologize to everyone who was hoping for a drunk recap. Unfortunately, I decided to be the designated blogger for tonight's game, and well, we'll see how that turns out.....

Friday night's game against the Winnipeg Jets had all the makings of being a trap game for the Blackhawks. Whether it was the 4 days off since their last game, Winnipeg playing in Dallas the previous night, or the fact that the Puckin' Hostile crew was in attendance, the bottom line is the trap game proved to be all of the above.

The joke was on the Puckin' Hostile crew as Quenneville right from the drop of the puck decided he wanted to fuck with us. Seriously, the line of Kruger, Smith, and Gorilla Salad starts? What. The. Fuck? I couldn't tell exactly from the 300 level, mainly because of Chinese knockoff jersey guy was standing, but it sure looked like Q was giving the PH crew the two fingered salute. Nicely done Q. By the way, how is that "enforcer" of Gorilla Salad working for ya? (More on that dipshit later)

Despite the asshattery of the "starting line," the Blackhawks managed to get on the board first, courtesy of a Brandon Saad backhander. Just after the midway point of the period, Winnipeg tied it up, after Andrew Shaw got scared of Andrew Ladd, and allowed Ladd to skate around the net, finding an open Zach Bogosian to fire the puck past Crawford. Nice work Shaw. Please someone explain how Shaw is anything more than a 4th line player? Because he isn't. The highlight of the period however (and game for me) was watching Bryan Bickell eat a half a dozen fists during his "scrap" with Anthony Peluso. Thank you Bickell, I desperately needed a good laugh.

After a scoreless, 2nd period (we'll get to the important 2nd period play later), the Jets took control of the game in the 3rd period. Goals by Bryan Little and Chris Thorburn 28 seconds apart, put the Jets up 3-1. However much to the bandwagon's delight, Teuvo Teravainen notched his first career NHL goal to give the Hawks some life. It was all for not, as Andrew Ladd added an empty netter, and the Jets left Chicago with a 4-2 win. Nice effort boys, after 4 days off.

The Good
- Just for Gatekeeper, Teuvo for the sake he scored, and I called it on the way to the game. Yes, I did barf after Teuvo scored, but it was also because that pylon of a defenseman Rozsival assisted on the goal. Talk about a kick to the balls.
- Speaking of Teuvo, after watching him in person, I can honestly say this is an accurate description of how he looks out there. (He's the bottom player in red.) Yes, when comparing him to fat asses like Byfuglien, this paints the picture perfectly.

The Bad
- Andrew Shaw sucks. Period. He is nothing more than an energy guy who takes horrible penalties at the worst time.
- The defensive coverage on the Jets 2nd and 3rd goals was putrid. I was going to use soft, but that would be an understatement.
- Brad Richards had a rough night. Not only was he a -2, but he was also replaced by Teuvo on the 2nd line.
- Positive : The Blackhawks scored 2 goals on Michael Hutchinson. Negative : The Blackhawks still lost.

The Ugly
- The best thing that can happen for the Blackhawks is for the NHL to do them a favor and suspend Gorilla Salad for his cheap, dirty cross check to Mathieu Perreault. There were multiple topics discussed on the way to the game between Gatekeeper and I, and two of the happened. 1, Teuvo scored. 2, Gorilla Salad did something fucking stupid.
- Again, how is Gorilla Salad on the ice instead of Nordstrom? Enough of this bullshit already. What is the point of dressing a has been of an enforcer for 7 minutes a game?
- Andrew Shaw's lazy holding penalty that led to Winnipeg's go ahead goal in the 3rd period.
- Anytime I have to see Dustin Byfuglien record 2 assists, that's enough to make you sick.
- The Blackhawks yielded three 3rd period goals, when you do that, you deserve to lose.
- The obliterated drunk, that we gave the nickname of Chinese Knockoff Jersey. Next time wait for a whistle to get up, and oh if you're going to drunk ramble and attempt to hit on a girl, pick one that doesn't have a giant rock on her finger.
- Don't worry fans, the PH crew won't be attending any games any time soon. Our record now "improves" to 1-2-2 on the year when one or in this case both of us are in attendance.


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