Sunday, March 26, 2017

Blackhawks vs. Panthers
7-0(!) SO Loss Recap

"Joker and The Thief"

by Patrick Norton

I thought I’d take a more unorthodox angle with the recap from last night’s game. Yes, I watched the game, but this is the only way to truly capture the utter beat down endured.


First Period

  • Nobody scored

My thoughts after the period: Okay, okay. Not bad. We were a little sloppy, but we got out alive. All that matter. As long as we come out strong in the second we’ll be okay.

Second Period

  • FLORIDA GOAL - Aleksander Barkov - Assisted by Huberdeau and Demers - 0:17
  • FLORIDA GOAL - Jonathan Huberdeau - PP - Assisted by Barkov and Yandle - 10:21
  • FLORIDA GOAL - Jonathan Marchessault - Assisted by Barkov and Huberdeau - 11:40

My thoughts after the period: What in the name? That sure escalated quickly. Damn, we’re just not playing well tonight. Maybe we’ll turn it around and force overtime again.

Third Period

  • FLORIDA GOAL - Jonathan Marchessault - Assisted by Sceviour - 4:59
  • FLORIDA GOAL - Jonathan Marchessault - Hat Trick - Assisted by Huberdeau and Trocheck - 7:13
  • FLORIDA GOAL - Nick Bjugstad - Assisted by Sceviour and Pysyk - 7:53
  • FLORIDA GOAL - Reilly Smith - Assisted by Trocheck - 11:45

My thoughts after the game: Well that sucked. At least Kansas is keeping it close. *insert sad Price Is Right noise*

The Good

  • Absolutely nothing. This game was a heaping pile of trash. I don’t remember the scores from last year, but I remember the Hawks having a pretty unsuccessful road trip down in Florida last year, too. Let’s hope they throw this one in the trash and halt the comeback efforts of the Tampa Bay Lightning on Monday night.

The Bad

  • A whole lot, but “The Ugly” takes the cake with this game. If the result had been slightly better, you’d see me giving the benefit of the doubt with this, but 7-0 is excessive and unacceptable.

The Ugly

  • The powerplay looked like the penalty kill for the Hawks. Lazy passing, not wanting to shoot, and lacking a net front presence resulted in a nice 0/3 on the man advantage. Sure, even if you score on those it’s still a four goal game, but it would’ve been nice to have SOMETHING to cheer about.
  • Patrick Kane fought… in a fight. Yeah, cool, we’ll never see that again, but I hoped we never saw that at all, especially when there’s only seven games before the playoffs. We can’t have Kane going down with a shattered orbital bone.
  • Brent Seabrook slipped backwards on the powerplay in hilarious fashion. This was in the first period on a powerplay, so it was kind of a sign of things to come.
  • Corey Crawford gave up four goals and Darling gave up a three spot in relief. Not Jimmy Waite’s proudest moment. It didn’t matter though as one goal would’ve been enough.
  • We’ve complained and said the Hawks can’t play one period a night and expect to win. Well tonight they played zero periods and I can’t imagine they expected much of a nice result.
  • Steve Konroyd was in the booth. True story: I watched this one in a crowded room, so I didn’t have to hear his annoying Canadian wail. That was the only positive of my night. He still probably stunk up the booth, so he still lands down here. 
  • WGN needs to figure out how to made a gosh darn clear picture. It sucks. I’d rather watch a CSN game on my phone than a WGN broadcast on a 60” HDTV. (presented by Samsung. #PleaseSponsorUs)
  • The Hawks did not seem committed to putting a decent product on the ice. Hopefully we don’t look back in five years and remember this as the turning point in the season. This was the equivalent of the NBA resting players because I’m pretty sure nobody played tonight. 
  • What do Brent Seabrook, Dennis Rasmussen, Richard Panik, Johnny Oduya, and Andrew Desjardins all have in common? Their +/- was a 0, which isn’t much to brag about, but when everybody else is a minus, it’s almost impressive. 
  • Toews, Kane, and Campbell (Welcome home!) all finished with a -4. Hjalmarsson and van Riemsdyk ended up at -3. The rest went between -2 and -1. 
  • There was a combined thirty-four minutes of penalty minutes from the Blackhawks side. Ruh roh. The PK actually wasn’t bad surrendering only ⅕ chances, but you can’t win games when you’re playing undisciplined.
  • Kansas lost to Oregon. I can’t believe it. I’m lost for words. For any of you Hostile readers that watched the basketball game last night, Josh Jackson was atrocious. I’m so pissed off about this and I don’t even go there yet. 
You have to listen to Ep. 78 of the Shoutcast to understand tonight's title. Find it on iTunes or Soundcloud. We're recording three weeks in a row starting on Tuesday, so get ready for a Hostile takeover on your iTunes downloads.

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