by Gatekeeper
Title is a shout out to Grammy winning band "GHOST"
The Blackhawks returned to the ice, Monday night, after a disappointing and costly loss Saturday night, to the Anaheim Schmucks. Marian Hossa was hurt late in Saturday's game after a hip check went awry and he tumbled into the boards awkwardly. The early prognosis was "hopefully no more than 2 weeks", so he was thrown on IR and young #BartlettNativeVinceHinostroza was called up from Rockford to fill the roster spot. Hinostroza was slated to play on the 4th line with Dennis Rasmussen and Brandon Mashinter, so good luck producing there, kid. Swedish rookie Viktor "Svedgroot" Svedberg was also slated to play his second game in a row, while Erik Gustafsson took a seat in Q's doghouse.
The first period went well, or the Blackhawks, in just about every way. They took a lead just over two minutes in and added to that lead before heading into the first break. The Hawks shot advantage was 16-11, which was more than enough to build a good lead against this band of boobs. Good thing for the lead, because the Hawks started to lose interest in the second period.
The second period had a promising start, but then quickly turned into a flurry of shots in the Hawks end, also thanks to some Blackhawks penalties. The Leafs surrendered a powerplay goal early on, but then went on the attack, firing 15 shots on the Hawks goalie. The home team was only able to manage 5 measly shots, themselves, but this wouldn't matter when the Blackhawks came out in the third period.
The third period turned into the wild fucking west. Blazing Saddles style. These two team threw defense out the window and combined for SIX third period goals, for a total of NINE goals. Yes....
After the shutout was wasted, the game pretty much just turned into a bunch of players staring at the clock. No one wanted to be out on that ice anymore. The shots were 11-11, but it was clear the game was over before the period even began. This Toronto team is absolute dogshit.
Next up, the Blackhawks had to Washington to hang with the Prez once again.
- Of all the unlikely players to grab a 1-0 lead for the Blackhawks, The Manshitter would be perched atop that list. Yet, that was the case. Just two minutes and thirty three seconds into the game Mashinter stole a Leafs pass in the neutral zone and, get this, LED A RUSH over the Leafs blue line, with the Moose. Mashinter used Rasmussen as a decoy and snapped a Bickell-esque wrist shot over Optimus Reim's glove.
- Just past the 10 minutes mark of the first period, The Blackhawks jumped on the Leafs once again. This time on the powerplay. A long Duncan Keith shot made it through the the muck in front of the net and hit Andrew Shaw square in the dupa. The puck bounced around off Patrick Kane and Shaw before Shaw shovelled it between his own legs and into the net. It was originally thought that Toews got the goal, but after several replays, it was clear that Shaw got the goal.
- Two minutes into the second period, the forecheck of Andrew Shaw led to a Blackhawks powerplay. They wasted no time as the hot shooter, Brent Seabrook blasted a laser past the glove of Optimus Reim for a 3-0 Blackhawks lead.
- The Blackhawks seemed to have a knack for early period scoring in this one. An early Michael Grabner penalty put the Hawks back on the powerplay and they cashed in, again. This time around it was a feed from Patrick Kane to his favorite target, Artemi Panarin. After drawing the attention, he saucered a pass to Panarin who was in on Reimer, one-on-one. Not a chance.
- A few minutes after the assist on the Panarin goal, Artem Anisimov was able to lead Patrick Kane
- Thanks to a couple of sloppy penalties, the Blackhawks were able to send their "bum slayer" powerplay unit out on the ice and Teuvo Teravainen got a one timer set on a platter, and buried it.
- Just after the second powerplay expired, Jonathan Toews then set up a wide open Viktor #Svedgroot for a one timer right in the sweet spot. Nice defense, Toronto. All that elite coaching is doing you well.
- Where do you start and end? Patrick Kane had 4 points, once again. Andrew Shaw had 3 points. Duncan Keith had 3 points. Scott Darling had 35 saves. All good.
- The diving save Scott Darling made in the second period was outstanding. Mind you, he had to make that save because he was slow getting over and was out of position, but damn that looked good.
Darling glove save pic.twitter.com/IssO0DwSUo
— Stephanie (@myregularface) February 16, 2016
- Artemi Panarin lost control of his stick late in the second period and sat in the box for four minutes as a reward. Lucking the Leafs suck and couldn't muster much pressure at all.
- Vince Hinostroza might be the only Blackhawks player not to score tonight.
- A minute or so after the Kane goal, the Manshitter was in on a 2-on-1. He had a gaping net, similar to when #Fatrick played net, and everyone in the place was already celebrating the goal. So easy that even a caveman could do it, right? Except for the fact that is was Manshitter. He hit the post.
- With about 8 minutes remaining Mark Arcobello picked up a PA Parenteau rebound and beat Darling to ruin the shutout. Whatever.
- Just to show they had really stopped caring, they let former Blackhawk PA Parenteau score on the powerplay to make it 7-2.
- The Leafs, they're fucking awful.
- #Fatrick will love this one because the Leafs dominated in just about every 5-vs-5 enhanced stat category, down to faceoffs, but got fucking SAAA-MOKED
- Every Blackhawks player had negative even strength Corsi. Let's let #Fatrick savor this one.
Panik - Toews - Shaw
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Desjardins - Danault - Teravainen
Manshinter - Rasmussen - Hinostroza
Keith - Hjalmarsson
van Riemsdyk - Seabrook
Svedberg - Rozsival
