Wednesday, January 4, 2012

New Year Gripes and Grudges

Here we are, barely 4 days into the new year, and the juicy controversies are flaring up like a fresh case of New Years Hemorrhoids, or that case of Herpes you contracted kissing random hookers in the bar at midnight. Anyhow, New Years is a good point to start the rumors and drama, as it's almost exactly the halfway point of the season, and this is where the nitty gritty begins. We find out which players and teams have the staying power, and which were just a fluke. There is no more fucking off allowed, because there is another tight stretch run upon us, and any team can turn a hot streak into a playoff ruining run for the others. So what's new, you ask?

I'm going to refrain from using his nickname because, like I said in the recap the other day, I'm thoroughly convinced that Carcillo is Italian for "Douchebag Circus". The day they signed him, we all shook our collective heads. That is, aside from the puck bunnies who find his toothless hillbilly mug cute, but then again fame and money make even some of the most vile cretins enticing. But I digress, He's been nothing but a pain in the ass his entire career, so why would we expect any less? Anyone with actual hockey knowledge beyond "he's cute", knows this. Here we are 39 games into the season, he's been suspended twice, and is about to incur the Shanaban for a third time because of his utterly stupid play Monday night. All too often fans confuse "edge", "grit", or whatever recent buzz word the people on the Intarwebs are feeding you, with complete stupidity. This is no different. Fighting for position does NOT entail completely ignoring the puck and dangerously throwing a guy into the boards. I'll repeat that for those that have to use their fingers to read along; completely ignoring the puck. At the VERY least, that play is interference, people. Argue all you'd like, and I'd love to be able to argue FOR a Blackhawks player, but you're just going to look like a naive homer. This is not 1970, or even 2007, for that matter. It's a different league. We might as well call it NHL for No Hit League. He could have done any one of a hundred other things, and he picked the one choice he always does, the most stupid one. I said it two days before the incident, and I'm going to repeat it; We have one person to blame for this calamity, STAN BOWMAN. He ran out and signed Carcillo, which means that Quenneville had to find a way to work him in, and we have to endure the ensuing shit show. I gave young Daniel the benefit of the doubt and even bought a Carcillo t-shirt to show my support. He just did what he has always done with his limited mental capacity and hillbilly grin, and shot himself in the foot, or the left leg if you want to get technical. I'm not going to argue in favor of a moronic play just purely because he's a Blackhawks player, and because I bought a t-shirt with his name and number on it. That's the definition of partial and truly stupid.

With pending news of Carcillo's injury, which looked about as bad as it can get, we might have very well seen the last of #13 in a Blackhawks sweater, because contrary to whatever delusional fairy tale you might be subscribing to, Bowman would be a complete and utter moron to sign this trainwreck to another deal. Taking a minor risk on a one year deal is one thing, but subscribing to the asshattery and re-signing him is a completely different situation. This is not Philly, where they gave him 2 and a half seasons to become a completely irrelevant sideshow. Bowman signed him to a 1 year deal for a specific reason, to dump his ass if he remained a goomba douchebag idiot, and what do you know? The spade is still a spade. Dan Carcillo is the ACE of Spades, folks.

Ohhhhhh, did we fuck this one up, Fellas! After practice yesterday, Quenneville stated that Kruger had a step backward in his recovery from what looks like a second concussion, or one great big long concussion. Mind you, if they had handled the first concussion right, the 21 year old's brain might not be the equivalent of pureed bananas at this point in his young career. It's pretty clear that they rushed him back, or that he flat out lied to the bus load of physicians that hover around the Hawks camp. Honestly, I can't believe for one foggy second that he was able to fool the entire training staff, yet he was allowed to play a mere 6 days after the initial incident. First game back, and he has his head rattled, not once, not twice, but three times a lady. Now we're told he is out indefinitely and probably locked in a dark room somewhere being handfed pudding, and wearing an adult diaper. Now before I go off on some jaunt about this ordeal, I'm going to save my time and point you in the direction of someone that's a little more eloquent a writer than I; John over at The Fifth Feather. Click here to read his most recent article "Headshots and Us", regarding this situation, that was posted in Friday's Committed Indian. Food for thought.

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