Nick Schmaltz Will Disappoint You All

by Gatekeeper and Pat Stankus

It's so easy to elicit such anger and teeth gnashing by just a simple title and, lets be honest, you're here because of the title. Walk with #TeamMiserable through the forest of reality for a little bit.


Fatrick - So here we are again, Gate. One highly touted prospect leaves, and less than a week later, another one enters. Unfortunately for much of the Blackhawks fan base, they haven’t learned their lesson. On Sunday afternoon news broke that the Hawks had signed 2014 1st round draft pick Nick Schmaltz. With that news, many of the meatballs emerged from their summer slumbers drooling at the news. I mean what’s not to get excited about? Schmaltz has an awesome collection of YouTube videos of him schooling other players of his size. Problem like is, in this day in age, everyone thinks their a scout. “Oh my God, look at this set up by Schmaltz. He’s gonna be a stud in the NHL.” Sorry to be a Debbie Downer folks, but one play doesn’t mean he’s going to light the NHL on fire.

Gatekeeper - The problem with the Nick Schmaltz hype is, just that. The hype. He played on one of the two best lines in college hockey (the other including Tyler Motte). His name was everywhere. He played on the national champion North Dakota Fighting Sioux...mething-or-others. He's a great prospect. But he's a prospect. He is at the level Teuvo Teravainen was 2 years ago, when I was told that he would immediately step in and be a 1/2 point per game player. Spoiler alert, he didn't do that. That is no knock on Teravainen either, because those were completely unrealistic expectations. I like Teuvo, but hold up on the fucking parades.

Fatrick - Precisely, Gate, haven’t we learned our lessons? Wasn’t Teuvo supposed to be “The Savior” of the franchise? How quickly did we learn that he wasn’t NHL ready when the Hawks brought him over? With open spots on the roster, you can pencil in Schmaltz on the Hawks roster. That’s fine. Problem is most people are going to expect this kid to light the NHL on fire, and sorry to say, it’s not going to happen. Not with the roll the Hawks are going to put him in. Earlier today Mark Lazerus tweeted out the potential line combinations for the upcoming. He like Gate and I have Schmaltz penciled in on the 3rd line. That’s great, hey you need to fill a roster. But this is the exact same route the Hawks took with Teuvo. If you’re going to develop him, then develop him correctly. Don’t force him into a roll he’s not accustomed with. Like Teuvo, I’m all for letting Schmaltz play in Rockford for a season. Have realistic expectations people. To think Schmaltz will be the next Patrick Kane right out of the gate is dumb. The Hawks didn’t have anything to lose when Kane was brought in. They had glaring holes to fill, and not to mention no one was paying attention or gave a rat’s ass about what the Hawks did back then.

Gatekeeper - Playing a year in Rockford might be the best thing for him but, with all the holes in the lineup, the team may not have a choice. Can we all just take a look back at some of the recent college players that were solid prospects in the Hawks system? Kyle Baun, Mike Paliotta, Steven Johns, Drew Leblanc, Tanner Kero, Vince Hinostroza to name a few. Some decent prospects there, but no one bringing in even 30 points in the NHL. Schmaltz maybe only be slightly better than this crew. The worst thing that could have happened, as far as expectation, was that Artemi Panarin ran through the league like his god damn hair was on fire, this past season. Panarin is 24. He is at least 3 years ahead of both Schmaltz and Teravainen. Three years of development, early in your career, is a long time.

Fatrick - Barring a trade of Corey Crawford, the Hawks are in a win now type mode. Throwing a highly touted prospect into the fire in a role he is not familiar with is a recipe for disaster. Again, ask Teuvo how that felt. There’s no rush to throw these guys into the lineup. This isn’t Edmonton. The Hawks are contenders. Eventually we’ll get back to a day where trotting out prospects is the route to go, but not now. Let the summer play itself out and see what happens at the draft, and free agency.

Gatekeeper - Too many people have assumed that Nick Schmaltz will step in and be a top 6 wing. That's not going to happen. It's just not. First of all, he's a natural Center and there is some guy named Jonathan Toews there. You might get some Andrew Shaw style filling in, when Q flips the switch on the line blender, but you're going to see Nick Schmaltz playing somewhere in the bottom 6. Playing in Teravainen's old spot, if he's lucky and has a good camp. If he struggles, you could see him get the Marko Dano experience (previously named the Teuvo Tower of Terror). Therre is nothing wrong with this. Be patient and pragmatic.

Fatrick - While we’re on this subject, let’s apply some of this same thinking towards Tyler Motte. Stop rushing these guys, and have some common sense when it comes to prospects. Not all of them are as good as their junior, collegiate, or minor league careers were. I mean Troy Brouwer was a world beater back in the days in Norfolk and Rockford. (#NowDerek , before the Hawks had an AHL affiliation with Rockford, they had one with Norfolk.) Temper your expectations people. We’ve got a long summer ahead of us, and still more questions than answers at this point. It will be an interesting couple of weeks coming up with the draft this week, and free agency the following.

Until next time, good night and don’t be a meathead.


In this ongoing series here at Puckin Hostile, we smack you in the face with a little bit of a #TruthBomb. Feel free to check out the previous reality checks in this series:
-Kyle Baun and Mike Paliotta Will Disappoint......Ahhh Nevermind
-Teuvo Teräväinen Will Disappoint You All
-Marcus Krüger will Disappoint You All

And the slight whiff of the group:
-Spies Like Us, Comrade (Artemi Panarin)
"Things You Oughta Know" Panarin, Tikhonov, and more

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Spies Like Us, Comrade

by Gatekeeper

Well, it's October, once again. Hockey, real hockey, is on the horizon. It would not be another Hockey year, though, without unreasonable expectations and angry, caps filled twats. God forbid you're pragmatic about unknown players or situations. If you're not on the "Panarin for Calder" tour bus before he has played a single NHL shift, on NHL ice, against NHL players, you're an enormous asshole.

I am, admittedly, an enormous asshole for plenty of reasons. Unfortunately for you all, this is not one of them.

I know, people. What is this loud mouth on about now? Here we go:

When the Blackhawks signed KHL 5th leading scorer Artemi Panarin, back in April, the prospect of a new, young player with some scoring touch was intriguing. That is all it should have been. Intriguing. Panarin is a 23 year old Left Wing, who turns 24 the day before Halloween, from Russia who has spent his entire career in the KHL. He started playing for Vityaz Chekhov, briefly, in the 08-09 and again in 09-10 season when he would have been 18. Most of his playing time, was in the Russian Junior League with Vityaz Chekhov. In 2010-11, Panarin saw his first full legit KHL ice time. He bounced around back and forth, eventually landing with SKA Saint Petersburg, late in 12-13. He played two full seasons there, winning The Gagarin Cup last spring. His accolades are as follows:

*2014-15 5th leading scorer in the regular season. 5th in goals. 6th in assists.
*2015 4th leading scorer in the playoffs. 15th in goals. 1st in assists.
*2013-14 12th leading scorer in the regular season. 9th in goals.

Impressive numbers.

Please keep in mind, though, that this is the KHL. This is a league that is, despite angry KHL fanboy replies, more comparable to the AHL than NHL. I digress, though, more on that later. He put up some very admirable numbers at 22/23 years old. This deserves some praise.

Panarin also played in the World Junior Championships in 2011, with future St. Louis Blues multi-millionaire Vladimir Tarasenko. He 3 goals and 2 assists for the gold medal winning team, in 7 games. He had a late goal, against the backup goalie, and assist in the final group play game against the Czechs, in which the Russians won 8-3. Panarin had an assist in the semifinal win against the Swedes. His biggest game was the championship game, where he had 2 goals against Canada, against current Rockford Ice Hogs potential backup Mark Visentin.

He also played in the IIHF World Championships this last year, for Russia where they were curb stomped in the championship by Canada's star filled team. Playing in 10 games, he put up 5 goals and 5 assists. This is probably the closest we have seen to Panarin playing against NHL competition. He was 15th in the tournament in scoring. Some other players in the tournament in the top 20 were Sid Crosby, Claude Giroux, Jakub Voracek, Tyler Seguin, Filip Forsberg, Taylor Hall, Matt Duchene, Jason Spezza, Evgeni Malkin, Jordan Eberle, Marian Gaborik and Loui Eriksson. Certainly some pretty good company. His numbers were good for 13th in goals. I don't want to be a "Debbie Downer" but we ARE team negative, here. Panarin was held off the score sheet in the entire medal round for a big semifinal 4-0 win against the US, a 5-3 quarterfinal win against the Swedes, and in the championship game against Canada. his goals were all in the group play against Norway (6-2 win), Finland (3-2 Loss), Slovakia (3-2 win), Belarus (7-0 win), and Denmark (5-2 Win). Other than Finland and Slovokia, those goals were in blowout win games. Three of his five goals, to be exact.

All this said, Panarin was definitely worth the Blackhawks taking a look at. Especially, since they needed to find new, cost effective ways to fill holes and stay under the cap. I have never faulted Stan Bowman for going out and giving it the old college try. What people fail to understand is that is exactly what Bowman is doing, here. He was taking a gamble on an unknown entity.

There are some things to take into account, though. Artemi Panarin has played on bigger ice surfaces his entire life. Try and blow this off all you'd like, but when you cut 15' off the width of an ice rink, there is a considerable difference as far as room to maneuver. Especially for smallish skill players. It is the difference between skirting by a defender and being planted head first into the glass. It takes time, against actual opponents, to adjust, not just a few practices with teammates that aren't trying to hurt you.

Let's get back to the KHL. This fucking league has long been a contention of mine. The KHL is not the talent equivalent of the NHL. It's not any equivalent to the NHL. It is a distant second, very much closer to the AHL. The NHL would wipe the floors with KHL teams. Everyone needs to stop acting like success there relates to the NHL in any way. A majority of the most successful players in the KHL are player that were highly unsuccessful here in the NHL, or didn't simply just didn't even make it to the NHL. There are a few, like Igor Kovalchuk, but he isn't playing in the KHL because its talent is any better. It's just a better salary and closer to home.

You can look for yourself. Check out the KHL league leaders for the last few years. ANY years, for that matter. The top players in the KHL are generally castoffs, and former NHL busts. Currently, Alexander Radulov is leading that league in scoring, as he also did last year. I think we are all familiar with what a colossal douche bag and pain in the ass that guy is, after his two notorious stints in Nashville. Both times he was basically told to go home. Cam Barker is the 3rd leading scorer in the KHL. Yes, THAT fucking Cam Barker. Players like Brandon Bochenski, Jonathan Cheechoo, and Nigel Dawes are consistently in the top 20 for scoring. Last year's leading KHL goal scorer, Steve Moses, signed with the Preds in the offseason and is currently hunting for apartments in Milwaukee Wisconsin, because he couldn't make the NHL team. There are very few players that come from the KHL and succeed in the US. Vladimir Tarasenko is probably the most notable to come over and have NHL success. Mind you, Tarasenko is also FIFTY pounds heavier than Panarin. Five, Zero. For every Tarasenko, there are 50 Kevin Dallmans. Kevin Dallman is one of the most decorated defensemen in that league, but he was an absolute nobody with the Kings and Bruins organizations. Outside of a handful of players, the KHL is full of AHL level players. It is a fact. Send me your angrily typed out tweets and comments, but that doesn't change a god damned thing. It's fine to be a big fan of the AHL or the KHL, but don't give me a plate of hamburger and try to tell me it's prime rib.

My whole point in this, is to temper your expectations. The fact that I need to do this EVERY FUCKING TIME a new player arrives on the scene is pathetic. Marcus Kruger. Teuvo Teravainen. Kyle Baun and Mike Paliotta. Remember those people that said Tervainen was a 1/2 point per game player right out of the chute? Took almost a full year year split between AHL and NHL until he finally hit that mark in the playoffs, last spring. We still don't know he'll be in a full NHL regular season but, regardless, it has taken time for him to adjust. Which is exactly what I said, in March of 2014.

Realistically, you'll probably see Artemi Panarin moved up and down the lineup. A reasonable estimation would be 15-20 goals and 35-40 points. Respectable. If he is lights out and exceeds those projections, everyone wins. Let's not even get into Viktor Tikhonov.....

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"Things You Oughta Know"Panarin, Tikhonov, and more

by Gatekeeper

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the "Grumpy Gate and Petulant Pat Team Miserable show", starring Gatekeeper and Patrick Stankus.

It pains me to have to be in this situation and have to explain this every year, but it seems as though the average Joe SportzIdiot just simply NEVER LEARNS. It's not just Hockey fans and it's not just in Chicago. Sports fans, in general, are some of the biggest slobbering morons on this planet. There are the select groups that actually come to this wonderful tool called the intarwebz to research and form educated opinions, and there are the rest. Probably 70%, at least. The remaining 30% are the people that probably reading this right now, with a handful of the shaved down gorillas sprinkled in, who somehow mistyped "uhhh, big bewbz". You are here because you're interesting in knowing more. I admire and respect that. I want to know more, too. If I could spend entire days listening and reading people like Chris Block, Al Cimaglia, and Jay Zawaski, I would. They make me a smarter person with their knowledge. This is not to say I agree with everything they say, but a healthy majority has proven to be spot on. Do yourself a favor; or favour if you're from Canada. Stop reading garbage like HockeyBuzz and The Hockey Writers. Focus your attention on people with real proven knowledge. If you continue to read our stuff here, thank you. None of us are always right, but we try to provide intelligent, pragmatic analysis.

Other than Pat. He just gives drunken rants on cheap gutter swill craft beer.

All that aside, there are some things that need to be hashed out about this Blackhawks team. The casual fans are flipping their fucking lids over a number of topic that need to be put to rest so, please, allow me be the asshole.

First of all, I want to direct you to a couple of articles I have published over the years:

Kyle Baun and Mike Paliotta Will Disappoint......Ahhh Nevermind
Teuvo Teräväinen Will Disappoint You All
Marcus Krüger will Disappoint You All
Notice a theme here? Get ready for this next one. Hold your disgust until the end, please.

ARTEMI PANARIN AND VIKTOR TIKHONOV WILL DISAPPOINT YOU ALL!
Much like those past pieces, the title alone will get me 20 hate laced messages, because "READIN IZ HARD!".

These two "heralded" prospects from the KHL will be attempting to make a name for themselves, and earn a spot on the Blackhawks come this September. Let me tell you precisely why you will all be disappointed at what will happen. You expect too much! You expect WAY too much from these players!

Lets begin with young Artemi Panarin. For those that have been a Stanley Cup celebration fog for the last 2 weeks, the 23 year old Panarin was the 4th leading playoff scorer in the KHL last season, as well as the 5th leading scorer in the regular season. Nice accolades, for sure, if you look purely at the numbers. Let's not forget that this is the KHL. The KHL boasts high flying former NHL players like Alexander Radulov, Stevie Moses, Kevin Dallman, Maxin Afinogenov, Evgeni Dadonov, Deron Quint, Brandon Bochenski, Jonathan Cheechoo, Linus Omark and a player all Blackhawks fans remember, Alexander "The Alligator" Salak. Impressive right? I know you are all quite impressed with this esteemed and well decorated list.

Lets pause for a second to let all this sink in...



Exactly.
Every one of those players was either kicked out of, or unwanted by, the NHL. Most players, in fact, weren't even good enough to be in the NHL. All of these players listed, by the way, are in the KHL league leaders. There is one player in the KHL, however, who had a pretty decent NHL career; Ilya Kovalchuk. He's only over there slaying bums so the Devils don't get smacked with a big heavy sack of "Cap Recapture", while making basically ALL the KHL's money, however. This is an inferior league, people, plain and simple. It is equivalent to the AHL playing on a bigger ice surface. Panarin pulled a Spencer Abbott. Possibly, a Martin St. Pierre. Temper your expectations. The funniest part of this whole experience is this "Russian Patrick Kane" comparison. A more accurate comparison would be "AHL's Patrick Kane", because that is what his skill set is more equivalent to. Sorry to break it to you, and be as mad as you want, but that is the truth. If you expect Antemi Panarin to both make the team, and score more than 35 points next year, you're huffing paint. This past Tuesday night on the Bill Swersky Sports podcast, Chris Block mentioned an excellent comparison, which is Kris Versteeg. I think he needs to be applauded for this. Next spring, it'll be apparent how right he was.

Based on his salary, this is a win for the Blackhawks. I'm not saying that replacing Versteeg with a younger, cheaper player is bad, at all. If fact, it makes sense in so many way, the first of which is that Kris Versteeg SUCKS! But, expecting him to come in and be anything more than an affordable mid-level depth guy, with the ability to add some occasional secondary scoring is completely irrational. There is a reason he was never drafted, and there is a reason he signed a deal that is under $1 Million a year. Think about it. He is just simply not worth any more than that. If, by some miracle, he breaks out, the reported performance bonuses will reward him. It is not clear what the bonuses actually are, but maybe we will find out. Remember, folks, temper expectations.

Viktor Tikhonov is in the same boat, just 4 years further down the river. He is 27, and has already taken one shot at the NHL. He played 61 games with Phoenix, in 2008 as a 1st round draft pick. He registered 16 points in 61 games. Excited yet? He is less than a point per game (0.63) in the KHL, and was at roughly .5 points per game last season. Roughly in the area of what Brandon Mashinter, or Dennis Rasmussen did in Rockford last season. Again, riveting, right?


Once again, there is a reason he signed a deal for roughly what David Rundblad is going to make next season. That is what he's worth. These two guys, if they make the team, will be 3rd line guys. They may get the occasional fill in shifts with the money guys, but don't expect it. Tikhonov will be lucky to have 25 points this coming season. Don't say I didn't warn you.

You hate me don't you?

Now let us move on to the important parts of the smoldering pile of flesh that was Brandon Saad. Artem Anisimov, and Marko Dano. Anisimov is a 27 year old, big center. Great news for the Blackhawks. Second line center for the next 6 years, right? If he doesn't get locked in Quenneville's doghouse, that is. The Blackhawks have been reportedly been trying to acquire this player for years. Swell.


I cannot fault them for attempting to fill that spot. It has been a huge hole the entire time Stan Bowman has been the leader of this evil empire. But, for a second, let's remember all the centers that have been brought in to be THAT guy. It may take a while. We cannot assume Joel Quenneville will play him there, just because the greater majority of us think that's where he belongs. THE MAN HAS #3CUPZ FOR HEAVENS SAKES! He knows much more than us uneducated meatball fans do, and he will show us this, even if it costs Game 3 of the quarter finals.


We need to see where the decision maker puts him. Theoretically, he should certainly be the second pivot to open the season on October, though.

After Anisimov, the Blackhawks also acquired the person that might eventually be the pickup of the summer. Slovakian forward Marko Dano. He played 35 games with the Jackets and had 21 points. That is honestly pretty damn impressive, especially for a 20 year old European player. Granted, if he was drafted by the Blackhawks, he would still be in Europe and you all know this. Dano IS a slightly bigger Teuvo Teravainen, just drafted a year later. He has played and proven he can contribute against actual NHL talent, which the two Russians haven't. He is younger, and was scouted well. The upside is much more promising for him. This is to say that Quenneville doesn't monkey with his ego by throwing a lasso around his neck and beating him into submission. After watching his goals from this past season, it seems as though he plays very well with Artem Anisomov, so we must keep this in mind. It may be best served, if Dano and Anisimov are paired together on the 3rd line. Just a thought, and what do I know? Since I only evaluated talent and chemistry at a High School age level for roughly a decade, clearly I know absolutely nothing about these unusual adult hockey creatures.


Take a look at his 8 goals from this past season, along with a highlight reel assist on a Scotty Hartnell goal:

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Kyle Baun and Mike Paliotta Will Disappoint......Ahhh Nevermind

by Gatekeeper

For those of you that are surprised, you're about to get fooled once again.

The Blackhawks signed free agent college forward Kyle Baun and 2012 3rd round draft pick Mike Paliotta to similar 2 year entry level deals, Thursday. I want to start this all off by saying I have nothing against either of these kids. I hope they light the fucking world on fire and turn into the next Trevor van Reimsdyk and Brandon Saad. The reality of the situation is that they are more likely to turn into the next Drew LeBlanc or Shawn Lalonde. That isn't what chafes my ass, though...

There are two things in particular, about this situation and these deals, that are burning me from the inside out.

First of all, the general consensus around the fan base is that the Blackhawks needed to beg these two players to sign. By "beg", I mean that they had to concede extra years on the deals and promise to allow both players to play, while burning a year off this season. I don't fully buy this rationale, and this is why.

Baun, reportedly, had 18 other teams that were bidding for his services. It is not Stan Bowman's style to beg and plead for such a wildcard. In fact, Bowman is notoriously overconfident when it comes to swallowing his pride, and the Nick Leddy trade is a prime example of this theory. At least from the outside, he refused to take deals that may have landed him a better return, because he wasn't getting what he thought he wanted in return. Confident and stubborn to a fault. He was backed into a corner with the cap deadline quickly approaching and probably ended up taking even less than he could have gotten earlier in the summer, for a pretty hot young prospect like Leddy. There is no other reason that he would have waited as late as he did.

The next example of this theory is the Patrick Sharp situation. Not THAT situation.

As much as is has been downplayed in the media, it's pretty well known that the Blackhawks were feverishly trying to find a reasonable deal for Patrick Sharp. The entire league knew Bowman was over a barrel and he refused to pull the trigger for anything less than what he felt he deserved. As a result, The Blackhawks will have their backs against the wall once again, when they need to shed salary, following the season. Again, confident and stubborn to a fault.

That is why I'm perplexed as to why Bowman signed both of these guys to 2 year deals with which they are willing to burn half of, in a handful of the remaining 10 games this regular season. This leaves the Blackhawks roughly 15 months to develop these two players, and let them become RFAs. The last players to make any sort of impression on Quenneville that fast were the aforementioned van Reimsdyk and Andrew Shaw. Not even Saad progressed through the ranks that fast.

The money is really irrelevant in these deals, but giving the organization that little time to develop 2 college players into NHL players doesn't make sense. Especially an organization that has been notoriously slow in maturing their prospects, partly, because of the lack of room and lack of trust by the head coach. Yes, The Blackhawks will hold these player's rights and, more likely that not, they will able to re-sign them to bridge deals. That is another reason that these essentially one year deals are questionable. Bowman will be forced to give them SOME sort of raise. In Paliotta's case, he may have held the cards, but Baun is going to be a depth guy in Rockford next season. Among those 18 teams, there had to be a better opportunity, and Stan didn't "need" to "beg" for this guy.

This brings me to my second concern. Paliotta is one situation, because he was drafted by the Blackhawks. I can see the urgency for this to not turn into the Kevin Hayes situation again. Kyle Baun is an undrafted college free agent, though. If someone can point me to the last college free agent position player that has amounted to anything, I'll show you 100 that didn't. Drew LeBlanc was the best college player in the entire country when he signed in Chicago. The "Jack Eichel" and "Johnny Gaudreau" of that year. Right now he's mightily struggling to be a regular AHL player. Matt Carey is the same situation. He was as hyped as Baun, last year, and is currently sitting at 20 points in 59 games, in Rockford. A little better than LeBlanc. Even Stephen Johns was highly lauded right before he signed. He's currently adjusting in the AHL, too, after concussion problems.

Players rarely step right off a college campus and into succeed in the NHL. Fifteen months isn't enough.

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Teuvo Teräväinen Will Disappoint You All

Great, I got your attention once again!

Almost three years to the day, I put together this little ditty about Marcus Kruger and how he was going to not meet the expectations most delusional fans had, and I was right. Kruger has turned into a real nice defensive center that can be trusted, but he is not the second line center the Chicago fans has been clamoring for since roughly, well, Bernie Nichols.

This is where I tell you that Teräväinen will disappoint you all!

Teräväinen might be closer to the solution, but he is not the solution to the second line, just yet. For those not aware, he a smallish player (listed at 5'11"/170, but that's a farce). While he's fast enough and agile enough to avoid most big hits, it'll take time for him to adjust to a smaller surface, where the big gorillas can corner and trap him easier. That said, he's much more than Marcus Kruger was. There is a reason Teräväinen was drafted in the first round and Kruger in the fifth round. Teräväinen is a special player, but if you are expecting him to do much more than just blend in, you will be sorely disappointed.

Please listen when I ask you all to calm down and have some realistic expectations. He should be able to hide between Toews, Shaw and Kruger while not getting completely decapitated. He should be able to add some offensive punch, especially with one of the most electrifying players in the league on his wing, which brings me to another issue.

One concern is that Teräväinen has, pretty much, been the Patrick Kane of every team he has been on. In Chicago, he will have to take on the role of being the secondary possession player on his own line, much less the entire team. The Blackhawks will not need Teräväinen to come in and light the world on fire, they only need him to be adequate and consistent. Both are more than what they have gotten out of recent second line experiments.

So, while you all wave your Teuvo Towels and sing his praises, please just take it down a notch. He may, and very well could, struggle. Don't be surprised, Folks.

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Marcus Krüger will Disappoint You All

GREAT, now I have your attention.

The intarweb has been abuzz with talk of newest Blackhawk center, Marcus Krüger, and probably for good reason. This season has been full of terrible let downs for Chicago fans, after winning the Stanley Cup last June, and we all need something to look forward to. The resulting Stanley Cup salary cap purge upset many fans even though we all knew, or should have known, it was coming. The signing of Marty Turco was suppose to lighten the burden of losing Antti Niemi to the turdly Sharks, but Turco has not been the important piece we thought he would be. The Hammer signing, though storied and dramatic, was important but he has been quietly and under the radar. El Capitan started very slow this season, and Deuce has his head firmly jammed up his tuchus for a majority of the year. New guys Stalberg, Skille, Dowell, Johnson, and Leddy have all done serviceable jobs, but didn't quite fill the shoes of their predecessors. Jack Skillington brought us Michael Frolik and Alex Salak, but we have yet to get anything special out of those two, yet. The trade from Stromboli brought us a game winning goal the other night, but he too has been up and down. The only real nice surprises have been the jump in production from Shooter, the 36 points of Bryan Bickell, and the unexpected success of Corey Crawford, which brings me to my initial point:

Marcus Krüger will disappoint you all.

Before I get a hundred nasty twatter messages, and a boatload of angrily typed Facebook comments, hear me out. When Kruger steps out on the ice, tonight, wearing his brand new #16 jersey, he will probably show some flash and talent. What he will NOT do, is become the next Chicago Hockey Messiah, aka Jonathan Toews. He is twenty years old, and has played European style hockey his whole life. It is going to take him time to adjust, and he might even have some awful games before he gets acclimated. This is what young, European, 5th round draft picks do. They take some time to adjust to the NHL. It wouldn't be the NHL if everyone could step right in, at 20, and do it. You're not going to see Toews, or Kane numbers out of him, maybe EVER. He has the tools to become a smaller, David Bolland, and that's not too shabby, folks. We should expect that he will get out muscled in his own zone a bit, but make some smart, and maybe even dazzling, plays in the offensive end. Young, smallish players can usually keep up offensively, but take some time to get use to the bigger and rougher NHL, not to mention the smaller ice surface. He's not going to be able to dance around people like Chris Pronger or Niklas Kronwall, so he's likely to be planted onto his doopa a time or two. Lets face it, if he was best thing since the "Slap Chop", StanBo and Quenneville never would have let him board that plane back to Sweden, in training camp. All this is fine and well, and I think the guy has some solid NHL talent, but lets all set our expectations at a reasonable level, before this bandwagon even gets-a-rollin, cowboys and girls.

Now, you can all now hit delete, on those hate laced messages. Remember, sarcasm; It's alive and well right here. I'll leave you on a slightly better note. Here is Krüger's first Blackhawks interview, this morning. Go Hawks!




Lastly, Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th movies have absolutely nothing to do with each other. In the crossover version, Jason Vorhees was Kruger's enemy, so all this "he should wear #13" jazz is just plain dumb. Come up with something that is actually CLEVER.

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