Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Blackhawks vs Coyotes
4-0 Shutout Win Recap


by Gatekeeper

The shitty Coyotes took a trip from their tropical home to the sub freezing December Chicago weather to face the struggling Blackhawks, Tuesday night. If there was any team that was frustrated and struggling more than the Blackhawks, that team is the Arizona Coyotes. They were coming off 3 straight losses where they gave up a combined 127 shots for an average of over 42 shots a game. It can't go without being mentioned that they gave up 60 shots in one game vs the Blue Jackets. BAH-ROO-TAL. The Blackhawks were without their captain and top goaltender once again, so this certainly wasn't any walk in the park for the home team, even if they wanted to try and will this game on talent alone. Noted Yotes elbow chucker Shane Doan was just one goal from 400 coming in, so they had good reason to keep him off the scoreboard. Of course Coach Wizzo had to trot out his large adult son, Trevor van Riemsdyk, so Michal Kempny got the press box shrimp cocktail to himself while I got one step closer to an aneurysm.

The first period started off as most do for the Blackhawks, these days. Slow. Like Fatrick's metabolism. They were out shot in the first period 9-5 by a team that was averaging about 14 against per period, recently. That's just sad. It was even more of a god damn miracle that they were actually up 1-0 after this mess. This was the Coyotes, after all. The dominoes would soon fall.

Fall is exactly what those dominoes did, in spectacular fashion. The Blackhawks came out with 7 quick shots right out of the locker room and 2 goals, in the first half of the middle period. The shot totals were much more like what you would expect from this horrid Coyotes franchise, as they were beat on to the tune of a 13-4 Blackhawks advantage. This was much more like what the United Center crowd and all of us watching from our couches were expecting.

The Coyotes just folded up and died in the third period. They didn't get a single shot on net until there were under six minutes left in regulation, which just a pants shitting moment. This Arizona team is just plain terrible. Where are your scibbity dibbity score effects now? The Blackhawks didn't exactly pour on the pressure themselves, either. They did just enough to add one more goal to their lead, and put the snot nosed little Yotes to bed early.

The Good
  • The Blackhawks took a 1-0 lead with about 4 minutes remaining in the first period on the powerplay, no less. A late Jamie McGinn hooking call on the ever dangerous Andrew Desjardins, gave the Hawks time to pick their spot. And pick their spot they did, very SLOWLY. Not only did the Yotes feel that leaving Patrick Kane all alone with the puck for about 8 seconds low in the circle was an excellent choice, but they doubled down and Luke Schenn let Artem Anisimov tripod right in front of his greasy goaltender. You can imagine how that ended. All Kane had to do was bank it off Arty's stick and Daggar!
  • About 5 minutes into the second period Ryan Hartman and Marian Hossa worked a pretty nice 2-on-1, which gave the Blackhawks a 2-0 lead. The pass wasn't perfect, by any stretch, but Hossa did what a demigod does and played it with his skate. Hossa corralled the puck quick enough to jam it through Mike Smith for a 2-0 Blackhawks lead.
  • Twenty one seconds after the Hossa goal, the line of Motte/Rasmussen/Panik smelled Coyote blood and drove the puck deep in the Arizona zone. #DickFuckingPanik made a nice play and ended up 1-on-1 with Mike Smith. Smith made the save, but the chaos immediately following ended up with the Moose slamming home a Panik pass for a 3-0 lead.
  • Marian Hossa took a nice Nik Hjalmarsson pass and turned a partial break-a-way into a 4-0 Blackhawks lead with about three minutes remaining in regulation.
  • Scott Darling didn't have to do a bunch, but he did enough to earn a 22 save shutout. Nothing to scoff at. It's about time a Blackhawks goalie had an easy night.

The Bad
  • Gustav Forsling made a wonderful stretch pass to Jordin Tootoo, and it looked like Tootoo was in on a clear breakaway. That was until the referee caught Artemi Panain slacking it getting on the bench for a change, and blew the play dead.
  • Dennis Rasmussen was eaten alive at the faceoff dots, winning only 9 of 23 faceoffs.

The Ugly
  • Brent Seabrook got tied up with Jordan Martinook in the second period and fell very awkwardly. He stayed down for quite a while but was able to skate off under his own power. The worrisome part was that he went directly to the locker room for what seemed to be some time in the quiet room and never returned.
  • Starting Trevor van Riemsdyk over Michal Kempny is just imbecilic. If they are going to play this stupid rotation game, just send someone down. Forsling told Lazarus today that he thought the deadline had passed to send him back to Sweden, so send him down, then. Move someone! Rotating 4 defensemen is a nice option to have, but that doesn't mean you need to exercise it. The slobber fest over van Riemsdyk is bordering on obscene.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • The Blackhawks saw more shots against, 20, with Trevor van Riemsdyk on the ice than any other player. But please keep telling us how lucky we are to have Q shoehorning him into the lineup, organizational muppets.
  • The Motte/Rasmussen/Panik line ate it possession-wise, even with the goal they scored.
  • Yotes Michael Stone was a brutal -15 in overall Corsi.
  • Marcus Kruger quietly had a nice little night winning 10 of 13 faceoffs while centering the second line. He was on the ice for 2 goals and a plus 7 overall Corsi.

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Hartman - Kruger - Hossa
Motte - Rasmussen - Panik
Desjardins - Hinostroza - Tootoo

Keith - Hjamarsson
Campbell - Seabrook
Forsling - van Riemsdyk


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