Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Blackhawks at Carolina
5-0 Shutout Loss Recap

"No Excuses"

by Gatekeeper

With the All-Star break looming, the Blackhawks headed to Raleigh North Carolina to face former Rockford Ice Hogs coach Bill Peters and former Blackhawks players Kris Versteeg and Joakim Nordstrom with the Hurricanes. The Hawks seemed back on track, after a boring, yet important, 2-0 shutout Sunday night. This was also the debut of former first round draft pick Mark McNeill, with the Blackhawks. Nothing says, "set up for success" like being relegated to the fourth line with offensive juggernauts like Dennis Rasmussen and #DickPanik. I'm sure he'll really make the most of his handful of minutes, though.


The Blackhawks were not mentally present in the first period of this game, whatsoever. They had an early chance but then proceeded to give up 16 shots and 3 goals in a matter of about 13 minutes. The Blackhawks managed a measly 5 shots, and none of which were "grade A". Clearly this team was looking forward to 7 days off for the Allstar break, and it didn't bode well for the final two periods.

As expected the Blackhawks came out with a different goalie in net, but the same dogshit play. The porous defense continued with the Blackhawks giving up two more goals on ten shots. They managed a few more shots on net, but really none were serious scoring chances in this period either.

Eh fuck it, the Hawks didn't care, and neither do I. Let's wrap this shit up. I've already wasted more effort than this team gave.


The Blackhawks came out in the third period without their captain and still without any fucks given. They were dreaming about their flights home, or to somewhere sunny. Shots were 15-11 in favor of Carolina, and not a single Blackhawks player other than poor Scott Darling looked like he cared. On to the break. Clearly we all need it. Shoutcast tomorrow, Sweathogs.

The Good
  • I was going to find something good, but you know what? Screw it...
  • Actually, fuck that, you're not getting off that easy. Hey meatballs, The Blackhawks out hit another team. How's that work out, slobbering chimps?

The Bad
  • It took the Canes less than 3 minutes to take the lead. Crawford left a fat rebound on a long Elias Lindholm shot that looked to be slightly deflected on the way to the net. Future Blackhawk Jeff Skinner was standing on the doorstep and swept the puck into the net.
  • With just under seven minutes remaining, the Canes took a 2-0 lead. Once again, it was a double deflection shot from Riley Nash that eluded Corey Crawford. Play was a complete Shanghai Fire Drill in the Hawks end for about a full minute previous to this one, so I don't think anyone was surprised.
  • Just two minutes after the Nash goal, Kris Versteeg and John-Michael Liles caught #GusBus getting a little greedy and raced in on Brent Seabrook. Versteeg set the plate for Liles, who didn't get a lot on the shot, but the changeup was enough to get through Crawford.
  • Just past the halfway point of the second period, the Blackhawks were bitten by yet another familiar face. Joakim Nordstrom. He found the puck in front of the net and had a helluva time controlling it. Once he spun and shot Scott Darling had committed to his left, and Nordstrom shot left.
  • Poor Mark McNeill has to file this one away in the memory bank for his first NHL game.

The Ugly
  • When the Blackhawks came out of the locker room in the second period, Scott Darling was in the net. This was absolutely no reflection on Crawford. He had little chance on the three goals given up.
  • When your best offensive chance is by Richard Panik and Dennis Rasmussen and it comes over halfway through the game, you're in fucking trouble.
  • thirty three seconds after the Nordstrom goal, Quennville trotted out the old fucking nag, and it cost him. Blob Suckderi got caught covering not a single fucking person but Scott Darling, leaving Riley Nash wide open to beat Darling on the back side.
  • Pat Foley was on the sauce early, calling Scott Darling "Corey Crawford" a few times. I really couldn't blame him because I was wishing that I was boozing.
  • The Hawks won only 20 of 62 faceoffs for a whopping 32%.
  • Jonathan Toews didn't come out of the locker room for the third period, which just goes to show you the Blackhawks intensity in this one. I would assume this was just rest due to some kind of illness that Olczyk mentioned. No use burning your captain out in the third period of a blowout that the Blackhawks had zero interest in.
  • I brought this up on twitter but maybe if Quenneville's relief players weren't 50 years old, or useless face punchers the Hawks could rotate more effectively in these stretches, eh? Ya think? Na, fuck all that noise. MOAR HITZ!

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • Even though Anisimov was a minus 3, the #AK72 line led the Blackhawks in possession which means they just took as many or more shots than they gave up.
  • Keith, and Toews didn't have great possession nights, which is why it was probably good that Toews sat the third period.
  • Blob Suckderi had good corsi numbers but #Fatrick's favorite, the eye test, tells you that he sucks at hockey.
  • Riley Nash, Jay McClement, Ron Hainsey, Justin Faulk, Eric Staal and Chris Terry were all over double digits in Corsi. OOOFA

The Lineblender
Shaw - Toews - Hossa
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Desjardins - Danault - Teravainen
Panik - Rasmussen - McNeill

Keith - Hjalmarsson
Gustafsson - Seabrook
van Riemsdyk - Scuderi


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