Friday, June 25, 2010

The Idiots Guide to The Blackhawks Offseason...Thus Far

The internet is a funny tool. It's probably one of the single best inventions ever, and the best tool for information. When you look past all that, you have the free porn, and people just showing what fools 95% of the population really are. It's another example of how when you give people rope, they want to be cowboys. I'm always jacked into the net, so I get to read quite a bit of information, and usually it has to do with music or sports. In tribute to my old random advice column, I'd like to pull a few of the idiotic comments that I've read, regarding some of the latest Blackhawks dealings, and respond in typical Random Advice Column fashion. Hold on, this is going to get sloppy.

-"Why did you trade Buff?", "I'm so upset you traded Buff", etc, etc, etc.

Do some research before you just blindly start typing away on your keyboard. Most of you really have no concept of Hockey or even sports in general, as a business. The Hawks very close to the salary cap, and they had quite a few players tied up in expensive long term deals. Byfuglien is making $3 million a year for his stellar average of around 35 points per year. He made a name for himself in the playoffs by standing in front of the net and being a target, which only helped to enhance the deal. Now was the time to go, in fact, he very well could have been unloaded after last season. This kind of dealing and adjusting has been a huge topic of discussion for over a year, now, so stop acting so fucking surprised. Dustin Byfuglien is not worth $3 million a year, for what he brings to a team. Stan Bowman was able to unload $3 million and just over $2 million with Sopel. That probably brings three players we could now re-sign or move up from Rockford. Educate yourselves!

-"this is a huge mistake", "Horrible trade"

How do ya figure? Give me more than one legitimate reason why we can't replace him. He's 260 lbs, sure, but that's no real reason. So, basically, because he's big, and can stand in front of the net, we should keep him. We're talking the definition of "one trick pony", here. Never you mind that he's vastly overpaid, and we have younger, cheaper, more talented people that could take that spot. I can promise you that 5 years down the road, Stan Bowman will not be kicking himself in the ass. He's now on a team that, while they have heart, aren't blessed with a plethora of speed and scoring talent. He's going to be counted on to do some serious work, and to date, he hasn't shown he is "THAT GUY". He's been hidden behind quite a few of the most talented players in the league, just on his own team. He was counted on to provide one thing, size, and quite frankly, when a player of similar size was on him, he was ineffective. Just because you went out and bought a jersey that is now worthless, doesn't justify your idiotic argument. Anyone that would rather keep these players and give up the chance to sign Hjalmarsson, Niemi, and Ladd is really dense and should have their fan card revoked.

-"they are dismantling the team", "we're one and done", "they are breaking up the team", "it's a conspiracy", bla, bla, bla.

I repeat, "how do ya figure"? This team has a core of VERY talented players and I'm going to name each one of them, because you obviously need to be reminded. Jonathon Toews, Partrick Kane, Marian Hossa, Dave Bolland, Patrick Sharp, Duncan Keith, Brent Seabrook, Niklas Hjalmarsson (if re-signed) and Brian Campbell. They traded away 3 role players and a prospect. RELAX. There is a very good chance they will be stronger by the start of next season than this past one. Don't be surprised if you see Versteeg gone, as well. I can't WAIT to hear those people crying, and I'm sure it'll have something to do with his Eminem-like rapping skills. Again, he's a mid-level player hidden behind some very special players. Put him on a team that's hurting for talent and he is not going to be so successful. Stan Bowman has the opportunity to clear up roughly $12 million in payroll, if he's successful. That's a tall order. If you think this is some trick to break up a Stanley Cup Championship team, you need to be beaten about the melon with a 12 oz. hammer, because you're stupid. I'm sure the management's bonuses, resumes, and motivation are based on destroying a successful team. I hear there are quite a few jobs available, with that very result in mind. Simpletons!

-Bad move to get rid of someone who can take the front of the net on offense and make EVERY defenseman in the league nervous. Why did Pronger have such a poor series? Could it be the "Buff Effect?"

Poor series you say? Did you happen to WATCH any of the series, because if you claim you did, you are a moron? Pronger is the single reason Philly were in it AT ALL! He completely shut Byfuglien down for the first four games, and the only reason that Buff rebounded for games five and six is because his coach made a lineup change that kept Pronger away from him. I didn't see many teams in the regular season "nervous" about Dustin Byfuglien. As much as I think Pronger is an asshole, and he is; he's an asshole I'd love to have on my team. He's dominating. I'm sending the king of the internet to your house to remove your rights to it, altogether.

-"we just won, why so soon?", "couldn’t you let them celebrate more?"

I'm sure their motivation is based on off season celebrations. Let me explain something to you, the NHL draft is TODAY, and we received 2 draft picks in this deal. The Hawks would like to make their own draft picks, not let another team do it for them. Secondly, the free agent period is coming right behind the draft, and the team needs to be able to plan on who they are going to re-sign, or who they will need to go out to sign. If you seriously want to base a business deal on the amount of time they have to celebrate, you need to be banished from ever watching a hockey game, ever again.

- "we got ripped off", "we didn't get anyone in return"

Who do you think we were going to get for these three stooges? Sidney Crosby? Ovechkin? This deal was made to clear up salaries, not bring in superstar players. Marty Reasoner is a role player that is fairly cheap and will probably admirably fill in for John Madden. Crabb and Eager were “thrown-ins” and are a wash. Aliu has some potential but he hasn't progressed like they had hoped, and Jeremy Morin has some talent and potential. The best part is that they received two fairly high draft picks. We lost a role player who provided 35 points a year, a #5 defenseman, a 4th line role player, and a minor leaguer. Hardly, irreplaceable. You're seriously delusional, if you think Byfuglien is that good.

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