Friday, February 5, 2016

Blackhawks at Arizona
5-4 OT Win Recap

"Frizzle Fly"

by Gatekeeper

The Blackhawks took their traveling road show to Arizona, Thursday night to face the Coyotes. Maybe we should call them the Glendale Coyotes, or the Seattle Coyotes since they are basically the team that no one wants. They are also the team that suspiciously discarded All-Star MVP John Scott right when this whole ordeal began, so screw them. The Blackhawks won on and overtime goal by Jonathan Toews, and there were several bizarre events, like Michal Rozsival scoring a goal.

Unfortunately, however, schedule conflicts left us unable to give a full recap but here are the highlights:


I promise to make this up to you all somehow, but we have a guest recapper, who was EVER so kind to put this together. Let us put our hands together for the extremely generous, and beautiful @StaceySarasin who did a great job of throwing something together without my asking. This one might have a future.

The Good
  • Captain Clutch's 5th OT goal gives Hawks two points and keeps them on top of the Western Conference.
  • Strong game for Crawford with his 30th win this season. Stopped 24 shots (although it seemed like way more). He had some spectacular saves, especially in OT. Must be all the Mac n Cheese he's been brewing up.
  • Panarin with 3 assists, leads rookies with 50 points.
  • Rozsival with a GOAL, yes a goal! First for him since December 2014! Way to go Old Man Rozy.

The Bad
  • Penalties, penalties, penalties. First there was Coach Q's unsportsmanlike conduct penalty (served by Panik) which lead to a Coyote goal by OEL that gave Arizona (or Phoenix, as Pat Boyle insists on calling them) the lead.
  • Next there was the double minor against Shaw for charging and roughing. Panik reported to the box once again to serve time on the roughing penalty. Might be a new useful way to use Panik. Wish I was a fly on the wall to hear the conversation between Panik and Shawzy.
  • Other penalties included one to Keith for holding but Toews scored a shorthanded goal. Danault for tripping and even Hossa got into the penalty mix for slashing but was offset by Doan's crosscheck penalty early in the third. Too much PK for my liking.

The Ugly
  • Isn't it obvious....Inexperienced ref makes unbelievably bad call after reviewing Hossa's goal in the first which lead to Coach Q's head nearly exploding! Can you say aneurism? Ref may need a tissue after that yelling match.
  • Although there were many cheering Hawks fans in attendance at the Gila River Arena, could we please stop Howler from howling? How annoying is that to hear?! Almost as annoying as the Ducks quacking.


The Lineblender
Shaw - Toews - Hossa
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Desjardins - Danault - Teravainen
Mashinter - Rasmussen - Panik

Keith - Hjalmarsson
Gustafsson - Seabrook
van Riemsdyk - Rozsival

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Blackhawks at Avalanche
2-1 Win Recap

"Get Born Again"

by Patrick Stankus

The Blackhawks returned to action on Tuesday night, starting the unofficial second half on the season after the All-Star break in Denver. Waiting for their arrival was the Colorado Avalanche. The last time these two teams met in Denver, was on New Year's Eve, which saw Scott Darling try and hand the Avs a win with some shaky goaltending. Tonight would be a different story, as Corey Crawford would be the one in net for the Hawks.

Once the puck dropped, any worries of an All-Star break hangover were put to rest. Just under three minutes in, #DickPanik to give the Hawks the early lead. A little over four minutes later, Artemi Panarin, increased the Hawks lead to 2-0 with his 18th goal of the season. That two goal lead would prove to be short lived. The Avs answered back at the midway mark of the period to cut the Hawks lead in half. Despite out shooting the Avs 14-6, that would be all the Hawks could muster, and took a 2-1 lead into the intermission.

The second frame would see the Hawks domination continue. The shots would favor the Hawks 15-2 in the period. The Hawks would also benefit from having two power plays, but those were nothing to brag about. The power play struggled with their entries, and were unable to generate anything. After simply dominating the play, the Hawks couldn't add to their lead, and the game remained 2-1 after 40 minutes.

The third period was a lot more evenly matched, and saw the Avs throw everything but the kitchen sink at Corey Crawford early in the period. Crawford stood his ground, and kept the Avs off the scoreboard after a furious goal mouth scramble in the opening minutes of the period. In the end, the Avs out shot the Hawks 15-13 in the period, but the Hawks weathered the storm, and went onto win by the final of 2-1.

The Good
  • When he doesn't oversleep, and miss part of the morning skate, Richard Panik is turning out to be a nice depth addition to the lineup. Tonight, #DickPanik had the Hawks opening goal, and was noticeable throughout the game.
  • Corey Crawford wasn't tested much in the first 40 minutes of the game, but when Avs came with a charge in the third period, Crawford was there to say no. In the third period alone he saw 15 shots, nearly double the amount he saw in the first and second periods.
  • The PK came through in the first period when needed. The Hawks took two penalties in the opening period, but the PK was able to kill off both of the Avs chances.
  • It wasn't an #AK72Line goal, but the Breadman struck again with his 18th of the season.
  • The first two periods, saw the Hawks simply dominate play. This was a welcome change from what it has been in the past in the thin air of Denver.
  • Viktor Svedberg had a nice, solid game in his return to the Blackhawks. In addition to playing smart defensively, he also chipped in with an assist on the #DickPanik's goal.
The Bad
  • Even though the PK bailed them out, the Hawks did take two penalties in the first period. Not exactly an ideal way to start a game after you get an early goal.
  • Its about time the Hawks look for a new backup color analyst when Edzo isn't around. Steve Konroyd is flat out boring to listen to. 
  • Jonathan Toews was suspended for tonight's game. Frankly I don't have a problem with it. Yes, he was sick before the All-Star break, but if going to an All-Star Game is what some players dream of (see John Scott), then punishment to the stars who choose to sit it out, is fine by me. It was one game. Deal with it.
The Ugly
  • The Hawks went 0 for 3 on the power play tonight, and none were spectacular by any means. Its pretty embarrassing when you can't enter the zone cleanly in the first 1:10 of a power play with this group.
  • I've seen hobos that look cleaner than Patrick Roy. Seriously, get rid of that disgusting beard, iron your shirt, and straighten your damn tie.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast
Episode " The Great 48"



In this Puckin Hostile Shoutcast number 48, the GATEKEEPER Episode, the Puckin Hostile stooges are back after Gate put his red in Bridgestone Arena. They are joined by a SURPRISE guest, from the Great White North aka America's hat, @AtomicFroster

The group discuss the following:
-The Denna Liang Situation
-Brian McGrattan getting KO'd
-John Scott will, in fact, play in the All-Star game
-50 goals put up in the KHL All-Star circus
-Torts gets whacked by his own player
-Blackhawks 12 game winning streak
-Games vs the Canadiens, Leafs, #PERDS, Lightning, Panthers, Blues and Hurricanes
-All-Star Break mercifully begins, after the Blackhawks lay a few turds
-Blackhawks trade Ryan Garbutt for Jiri Sekac
-Mark McNeill makes his NHL debut
-#BlobSuckderi, and #DickPanik
-Bowman extended 3 more years
-More loyal listener questions (Thank you, Everyone)
-And as always, an abundance of inappropriate references and jokes in incredibly bad taste like
-#Fatrick's OTHER girlfriend (not to be confused with his Brasilian mail order twitter girlfiend):

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link: iTunes

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast - Episode 48 MP3 Direct Download

You can listen below on the Talkshoe player:

Get the Shoutcast on Soundcloud here:


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Music by "The Bloodline"


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Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Blackhawks at Carolina
5-0 Shutout Loss Recap

"No Excuses"

by Gatekeeper

With the All-Star break looming, the Blackhawks headed to Raleigh North Carolina to face former Rockford Ice Hogs coach Bill Peters and former Blackhawks players Kris Versteeg and Joakim Nordstrom with the Hurricanes. The Hawks seemed back on track, after a boring, yet important, 2-0 shutout Sunday night. This was also the debut of former first round draft pick Mark McNeill, with the Blackhawks. Nothing says, "set up for success" like being relegated to the fourth line with offensive juggernauts like Dennis Rasmussen and #DickPanik. I'm sure he'll really make the most of his handful of minutes, though.


The Blackhawks were not mentally present in the first period of this game, whatsoever. They had an early chance but then proceeded to give up 16 shots and 3 goals in a matter of about 13 minutes. The Blackhawks managed a measly 5 shots, and none of which were "grade A". Clearly this team was looking forward to 7 days off for the Allstar break, and it didn't bode well for the final two periods.

As expected the Blackhawks came out with a different goalie in net, but the same dogshit play. The porous defense continued with the Blackhawks giving up two more goals on ten shots. They managed a few more shots on net, but really none were serious scoring chances in this period either.

Eh fuck it, the Hawks didn't care, and neither do I. Let's wrap this shit up. I've already wasted more effort than this team gave.


The Blackhawks came out in the third period without their captain and still without any fucks given. They were dreaming about their flights home, or to somewhere sunny. Shots were 15-11 in favor of Carolina, and not a single Blackhawks player other than poor Scott Darling looked like he cared. On to the break. Clearly we all need it. Shoutcast tomorrow, Sweathogs.

The Good
  • I was going to find something good, but you know what? Screw it...
  • Actually, fuck that, you're not getting off that easy. Hey meatballs, The Blackhawks out hit another team. How's that work out, slobbering chimps?

The Bad
  • It took the Canes less than 3 minutes to take the lead. Crawford left a fat rebound on a long Elias Lindholm shot that looked to be slightly deflected on the way to the net. Future Blackhawk Jeff Skinner was standing on the doorstep and swept the puck into the net.
  • With just under seven minutes remaining, the Canes took a 2-0 lead. Once again, it was a double deflection shot from Riley Nash that eluded Corey Crawford. Play was a complete Shanghai Fire Drill in the Hawks end for about a full minute previous to this one, so I don't think anyone was surprised.
  • Just two minutes after the Nash goal, Kris Versteeg and John-Michael Liles caught #GusBus getting a little greedy and raced in on Brent Seabrook. Versteeg set the plate for Liles, who didn't get a lot on the shot, but the changeup was enough to get through Crawford.
  • Just past the halfway point of the second period, the Blackhawks were bitten by yet another familiar face. Joakim Nordstrom. He found the puck in front of the net and had a helluva time controlling it. Once he spun and shot Scott Darling had committed to his left, and Nordstrom shot left.
  • Poor Mark McNeill has to file this one away in the memory bank for his first NHL game.

The Ugly
  • When the Blackhawks came out of the locker room in the second period, Scott Darling was in the net. This was absolutely no reflection on Crawford. He had little chance on the three goals given up.
  • When your best offensive chance is by Richard Panik and Dennis Rasmussen and it comes over halfway through the game, you're in fucking trouble.
  • thirty three seconds after the Nordstrom goal, Quennville trotted out the old fucking nag, and it cost him. Blob Suckderi got caught covering not a single fucking person but Scott Darling, leaving Riley Nash wide open to beat Darling on the back side.
  • Pat Foley was on the sauce early, calling Scott Darling "Corey Crawford" a few times. I really couldn't blame him because I was wishing that I was boozing.
  • The Hawks won only 20 of 62 faceoffs for a whopping 32%.
  • Jonathan Toews didn't come out of the locker room for the third period, which just goes to show you the Blackhawks intensity in this one. I would assume this was just rest due to some kind of illness that Olczyk mentioned. No use burning your captain out in the third period of a blowout that the Blackhawks had zero interest in.
  • I brought this up on twitter but maybe if Quenneville's relief players weren't 50 years old, or useless face punchers the Hawks could rotate more effectively in these stretches, eh? Ya think? Na, fuck all that noise. MOAR HITZ!

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats
  • Even though Anisimov was a minus 3, the #AK72 line led the Blackhawks in possession which means they just took as many or more shots than they gave up.
  • Keith, and Toews didn't have great possession nights, which is why it was probably good that Toews sat the third period.
  • Blob Suckderi had good corsi numbers but #Fatrick's favorite, the eye test, tells you that he sucks at hockey.
  • Riley Nash, Jay McClement, Ron Hainsey, Justin Faulk, Eric Staal and Chris Terry were all over double digits in Corsi. OOOFA

The Lineblender
Shaw - Toews - Hossa
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Desjardins - Danault - Teravainen
Panik - Rasmussen - McNeill

Keith - Hjalmarsson
Gustafsson - Seabrook
van Riemsdyk - Scuderi


Sunday, January 24, 2016

Blackhawks vs. Blues
2-0 Shutout Win Recap

"Black Gives Way To Blue"

by Patrick Stankus

With Gate still attempting to get back from Nashville, the Blackhawks decided the show must go on, and on Sunday night they played hosts to the St. Louis Blues. The Blackhawks were looking to bounce back from a rough trip to Florida where they lost both games to Tampa Bay and Florida. With the Blues in town, it should be safe to say the Hawks should have more effort, and energy tonight, something they lacked in those Florida games.

Once the puck dropped, all eyes would be on the Blackhawks to see if they could put an end to the recent trend of sluggish starts. Early on, that trend continued, as the Hawks could only muster two shots in the opening eight minutes. That would be the story of the first period. Corey Crawford bailed out the Hawks, and kept the game scoreless while the offense did a little more than us that were watching the game.

The second period was much better for the Blackhawks, not that it could get much worse. Overall, the play in second was still boring. That was the case until the #AK72Line got the Blackhawks on the boards, by way of an Artemi Panarin snipe. In the end, the Blackhawks turned the table on the Blues, and out shot them by an 11-6 margin in the period, and took the one goal lead into the second intermission.

The final twenty minutes got underway, the same way the second period ended, with the Hawks in control. Early on, the Hawks got the game's first power play of the game, and wasted little time in making the most of it. Andrew Shaw redirected a Marian Hossa bomb right in front of the net, past Elliott to increase the Hawks lead to 2-0. Down the stretch the Blues had some chances to put a dent in the Hawks lead, but ultimately could not. As a result, Corey Crawford recorded his league leading 7th shutout, with the Blackhawks 2-0 win over the Blues.

Gate returns to the recap world on Tuesday, and will take you to the NHL All-Star break.

The Good
  • Corey Crawford once again was the only Blackhawk to show up in the first period. Crawford withstood a flurry of shots, 12 in total, by the Blues.
  • As the game went on, the Blackhawks got significantly better. That not saying much though, because anything was better than that lifeless opening frame tonight. This trend cannot continue for much longer.
  • Whatever language barrier there is between Kane and Panarin, I hope it doesn't change, because its not bothering them. Once again, the #AK72Line put on a show, with a beauty of a pass by Kane to Panarin for the game's opening goal.
  • The power play got back on track tonight, with Andrew Shaw tallying a power play goal in the third period. This was nice to see after a couple of rough games for the units in Florida.
  • The Hawks allowed 12 shots to the Blues in the first period, but after that, the defense clamped down, and limited the Blues to 13 shots the rest of the way.
  • You like your fancy stats, well, I like my block shots stat. Tonight the Hawks were willing to pay the price, and get in the shooting lanes, and blocked 22 shots. Grab some ice packs fellas.
  • As mentioned earlier, Corey Crawford had a huge opening period for the Hawks. In the end he was able to stop all 25 shots he faced, and recorded his 7th shutout.
  • Midway through the third period, the PK came through and killed off a bad Artemi Panarin penalty.

The Bad
  • The #GusBus got a little too cute with a backhand pass in his own zone that wound up going on net, instead of going to Seabrook. The turnover resulted in giving the Blues sustained pressure for the rest of the shift, when it really didn't need to happen.
  • Artemi Panarin can't take a penalty like he did in the third period. That was a perfect opportunity for the Blues to get back in the game.
  • On Shaw's goal, you saw how important face off wins are. Tonight the Hawks were beaten at the dot 31-26. Still some work to do there.

The Ugly
  • Same old broken record showed up again for the Blackhawks tonight. Slow start, which sees them only record three shots in the opening ten minutes. Do that really miss Ryan Garbutt when it comes to starting a hockey game?
  • Tonight was David Backes' 700th career game with the Blues. Someone should tell him to wakey, wakey, because he was un-fucking-noticeable tonight.
  • Steve Konroyd dipped his toe into the advanced stats water during the first intermission. If this isn't enough to kill this sick fade/obsession with these fancy numbers, then I don't know what is. Remember when our parents joined Facebook? It killed Facebook. My prediction is Konroyd kills the slobbering love affair with fancy stats by the end of March.