Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Puckin Hostile Shoutcast
Episode 82

In this season wrap-up 82nd Puckin Hostile Shoutcast (the Alexandre Fortin episode) Gatekeeper, Fatrick, Bryan, Norton and grisled Shoutcast vet John Jaeckel of Hockey Buzz talk about the Blackhawks embarrassing and disappointing first round playoff exit.

The topics discussed include:
-Hawks swept by the Perds in the first round
-Blackhawks fans were fed a healthy helping of humble pie
-We all have some harsh realities for the Blackhawks
-Mike Kitchen fired. How many more shoes will drop?
-Hawks players seem hesitant to play in the IIHF World Championships.
-Listener/Reader questions
-Big thank you to all the readers and listeners as we go on hiatus for a bit, to decompress and prepare for the off season.
-And of course, as always, an abundance of extremely inappropriate references, jag-douchery, and jokes in incredibly bad taste

Fatrick doesn't miss a trip to the drive thru:

You can find the episode on iTunes by following this link: iTunes

Get the Shoutcast directly though Soundcloud here:

For all your custom jersey needs visit Black and Tan Sports at:

Friday, April 21, 2017

Puckin Hostile
"The Day After"

(nice 1983 made-for-TV-movie reference that hardly anyone will get, Gate)

I just wanted to formally throw out my Hostile postmortem, following last night's horribly disappointing sweeping of the Blackhawks.

Some of you will be disappointed that this is not a formal McPology, though, however.

It has been almost exactly 7 years that I have been doing this site, and we have grown more than I could have ever imagined. We have "fives" of fans around the world, a moderately successful podcast, and an actual team of slovenly contributors. I literally could not continue this website, though, without the help of my Puckin Band of Brothers:

Patrick Stankus came on a few years ago, on a whim, and he honestly saved this website. I was at a point where the commitment was simply too much to do alone. I was whittling the content down to weekly wraps and quickly losing steam. I came up with this silly idea for something, not as time consuming, where I could blow off a little steam and have some fun. The Shoutcast was born. #Fatrick was just going to come on as the initial guest, based on our past coach/player relationship (not that kind of relationship, sickos), but episode 1 was so fun that we just kept going. He soon left the site he was writing for and jumped on this Yak Service flight 666. This flight actually got off the ground, and the rest is Hostile history. We all give him a ton of crap, most of it probably deserving, but I simply could not keep this place afloat without him. Behind the scenes he is an enormous (in stature and influence) contributor behind the content we provide. I love the guy like a brother, and I don't think I could ever thank him enough for hanging in here with me.

Bryan/AtomicFroster was yet another whim. A hilarious fan and #Fatrick nemesis that I decided to surprise #Fatrick with on a Shoutcast episode and he never left; well for good. A career shift has limited his involvement, but he keeps our international numbers up. That silky voiced hoser has dropped some of the best one liners in Shoutcast history. Look no further than "fives of fans" or "Mrs. Slurpee".

Norton. Our U17 demographic and future brother-in-law of #Fatrick. He won the draft contest to come on for a Shoutcast, last year, and immediately fit right in. We didn't kidnap and brainwash him or anything. We swear! Luckily for us, he could figure out his way around a keyboard, as well. He has been a life saver for #Fatrick and I. Able to jump in at a moments notice and take some of the load off our plates. Unlike the rest of us, he will actually be continuing his education next year, but I'm sure he'll be sniffing around.

Even, for as much shit as we give him, Derek left his mark on the site. There are still several photoshops still floating around from him, and the source of endless pot shots for #Fatrick when there is a lull in the action.

This summer will be eventful, fans. The entry draft will be here in Chicago. The expansion draft will cause some drama. There will be organizational moves. We will have some interesting stories to cover. I look forward to the next chapter in the growing "graphic novel" called Puckin Hostile. There will probably be some adjustments for next season. I'd like to take on a couple more contributors, so I can focus on more of the organ-I-zation, as a whole. Provide more media content. Actually introduce myself to my kids, and spend time with my fiancé.

Anyhow, I want to make sure I thank all the friends of the site, and podcast guests. Without them, we're just a few #FatAndOutOfShape, basement dwelling, loudmouthed bloggers and a skinny silky Canadian. John Jaeckel from Hockey Buzz, Jay Zawaski from the Score 670, Greg Boysen for LetsGoHawk.net, James Neveau from NBC Chicago Sports, Keith/Colin/Mario/Jake/Aaron/Sean and the rest of the crew from Blackhawk Up, Mike "FigSigArts" Figueroa, John and Jacob from Talkin Hawks, William/Animal Mother from The Biscuit podcast, Billy "Fat tits, freckle face" Beck, and The Hockeenight guys (Forklift and CT). The list goes on and on.

Most importantly, Thank YOU, the fans. We love to hear ourselves talk, but we actually do this for you. From Beth Sweeney in Rockford to Mary Chastain in Oklahoma City. From Berns in South Africa to JMac in Australia to Heloiza in Brasil. Even the Chicago contingent of Wm_J_Lepetomane, ChiBDM, and all the crazies we correspond with on a daily basis, as well as all the various Facebook commenters and Instagram followers

Before we decompress, and probably take a few weeks to catch up, we want to know what you fans would like to see. Take a minute to let us know what you'd like to read about, or hear about on the Shoutcast. Maybe you have a guest in mind. Maybe you would like us to have more special segments. Maybe you would like to volunteer someone for "Win A Date With Fatrick".

Alright, no one would even wish that on their worst enemy...

Chicago Blackhawks vs. Nashville Predators
4-1 Loss & 4-0 Series Sweep Recap

"Cowboys From Hell"

By Patrick Norton

I’ve started and scrapped eight recaps from tonight’s game. I just can’t seem to put the disappointment into words. Obviously, we’re all a little pissed off and it’s deserved. The inevitable blame game has begun through friendly discussions, social media and group texts. When the Predators scored their fourth goal, my brother texted me wondering if I had set up the “juju” that comes out every playoff season ever since the Blackhawks trailed the Red Wings three games to one in 2013. Not even the shrine of pucks, rally towels, bobbleheads, and red paper over the light bulbs could save the demise of the Blackhawks this time around. 

And that’s when it struck me; I won’t have the chance to watch any playoff hockey with my brother this year. He’s off at school and wasn’t coming home for another two weeks, so typically the deep runs provide the best chances to watch playoff hockey together. Through the series's versus the Ducks and Lightning in ‘15, even the heart wrenching loss to the Kings in ‘14 (in which my brother and I were at Game Seven of the WCF), and to the incredible comeback against Detroit and the eventual 17 seconds Cup win against the Bruins in ‘13, my brother and I have experienced the best of the best in playoff hockey together. That’s what really kills me. It stung against the Blues, but at least the Hawks put up a fight. This time around, you could just tell that it wasn’t happening and from different regions of the US, we both watched as the Blackhawks were swept away.

And just like that, it’s over. The reunion with Brian Campbell and Johnny Oduya: over. The hope of completing the improbable with a roster full of rookies: over. Recaps for Puckin’ Hostile: over. A lot came to an end when the final whistle blew, but I think the hardest to cope with is what begins and what arises from this pathetic playoff performance. Until October, we’ll hear of the greatest collapse the hockey world has seen in recent memory and we’ll hear fans, analysts and writers questioning the personnel on and off the ice. Sure, there’s blame to go around, but does that mean clear house? Absolutely not, but a few changes might be in order. Luckily for our readers and listeners, Gate, Fatrick, Bryan, myself and Double J himself, John Jaeckel will attempt to sort through the muck and the sour taste left in our mouths by this series with a playoff recap and an offseason preview shoutcast next week. Until then, that’s enough hockey for a while. Don’t ask me who I’m rooting for now because at this point in time, I couldn’t care any less. (Probably New York or Washington, though) I need a hockey detox for a few days. And hey Blackhawks, next year, if we’re going to lose in the playoffs again, can it not be to a team that will never shut up about it again? Like the Flames or Oilers? Thanks.

Anyways, I really enjoyed bringing my thoughts to a page this season and I cannot thank our listeners and readers enough for the support they’ve thrown our way. How many seventeen year old bloggers can be welcomed by a community with open arms and not be frightened away? Probably not many, but somehow this all worked out. And while the recaps are finished until October, us meatballs aren’t going anywhere (except for me going to Kansas). We’ll all be here, God willing, next season to bring you the same subpar content we always have. And while I think it’s important to thank all of you, none of this happens without the hilarious content my three partners in crime have provided. 

Bryan, everybody's favorite Canadian, has always been able to provide me with a laugh, whether it be on the shoutcast or in our group messages. Patrick “Fatrick” Stankus and I clicked on day one. Not only do we both live with our parents, but we both have great senses of humor and a similar body shape.

At last, The Gatekeeper. We connected through Twitter and I happened to come up with the best idea for an offseason fun draft and was able to join a shoutcast. In all honesty, I just followed these guys on Twitter, but had never listened to a shoutcast. I was extremely confused because I couldn’t place a voice with a name. I actually thought Derek was Bryan and Bryan was Derek. I thought it was odd that Fatrick continually made fun of “Derek” because I couldn’t stop laughing at “Derek’s” jokes. It was only in post-recording when Gate told me I had it backwards. That should’ve been the end of my story with Puckin’ Hostile, but early in the season, someone couldn’t recap a game, so I Semborski’d and stepped up to the plate. I thought I swung and missed, but Gate and the rest of the crew credited me with a solid RBI bloop single. A couple of weeks later, I joined on as a full time recapper. Soon after that, I made my second appearance on a shoutcast and soon after that, Derek made his last. Gate helped me through every step of the way and that’s the honest truth.

I can’t thank these three men enough for what they’ve done this year. It’s been a pleasure being able to write for Puckin’ Hostile and I cannot wait to crack out the classic “Good, Bad, and Ugly” format next year. 

And while I hope next years results don’t make for another somber series recap, nothing is guaranteed. That is except for one thing… we’ll be right back here next season rested and ready to go. Now have a good night, hold your head up high because we’ve still won three cups in eight years and as always, don’t be a meathead.

Oh wait… I was supposed to recap the game? Blackhawks lost the Predators, 4-1 and lost the series, 4-0. We were slow, sloppy and out of touch. Can’t put all the blame on the rookies when Keith, Seabrook and Oduya played like they had a 9 am tee time tomorrow morning. And don't deny that just because Keith put a nice jolt into somebody in the third period. After that, they went flat again. Yet, Kempny was decent and deserves more playing time next season and TVR played like he wanted a Game Five. Our forwards continually dumped and chased, which is fine if it works, but it never opened up the middle of the ice because the Hawks couldn’t win any puck battle. Crawford was okay, but when we needed him to stick with it, even when all hope seemed lost, he looked lost in the crease. We scored two powerplay goals and one even strength goal this series. Pekka Rinne would’ve tied for most points had he played for the Blackhawks. Marian Hossa played a more youthful game than almost everybody, including silly mistakes like the overtime turnover in Game Three, but he still played his ass off. Ryan Hartman turned into Andrew Shaw for some reason. Predators fans suck. Artem Anisimov played through his ankle injury and it was quite apparent he wasn’t 100%. Literally the only players you can’t shovel any blame towards would be Scott Darling and Michal Rozsival because they never played. I don’t know, that was tough to watch. I’m interested to see what happens in the coming weeks.

How about that for a recap?

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Blackhawks at Predators
3-2 OT Loss Recap

"Aching Pain In My Chest"

by Patrick Stankus

Down two game to none, the Blackhawks traveled to Nashville on Monday night for Game 3 of their first round matchup with the Nashville Predators. The Hawks were looking to save their season after two lacklustre games in Chicago last week. Leading up to the game, many had questioned if Scott Darling would get the call in net for the Hawks, but Joel Quenneville quickly answered those questions by saying Crawford would indeed get the nod in net. With the Hawks facing just about a must win situation, it was time to take to the ice in Nashville.

In the first period, the Hawks actually got off to a decent start, registering six shots in the first half of the period. While the energy was there to start, it started to wane as the period wound down. The Predators eventually found their legs, and let a full on attack of the Hawks net. Luckily for the Hawks, Corey Crawford was on his game to keep the Predators off the board. In the final minutes, the Hawks generated a couple of looks, but couldn't get one past Pekka Rinne, and after twenty minutes the game was scoreless.

When the second period got underway, came out much like they did to start the game. The difference this time is they were able to solve Pekka Rinne and get on the board first thanks to a Dennis Rasmussen goal. Riding the momentum of Rasmussen's goal, the Hawks were able to add to their lead just past the midway part of the period. Patrick Kane tallied a power play goal to increase the lead to two. With time winding down in the period, the Predators kept coming and coming down the stretch. Corey Crawford was friggin' outstanding and preserved the Hawks lead heading into the second intermission.

To start the third period, the Hawks seemed to weather the storm for the first couple of minutes. That changed a little after four minutes in as Nashville finally got on the board on a weird bounce off the glass, to cut the Hawks lead in half. As the period went on, the Hawks started to fall in to the "play not to lose" mode, a mode that is notorious for biting you in the ass. That bit in the ass came with extra sting as Filip Forsberg added his second goal to tie the game at two. After seeing Corey Crawford get bumped as the shot approached, Joel Quenneville challenged for goaltender interference, but the call on the ice stood, and we continued with a tie game. Down the stretch, once again, Corey Crawford stood tall in net, and  held the Predators off and sent the game to overtime.

In the overtime, it was everything you'd expect out of an overtime playoff game. The extra frame featured end to end action and countless chances for both teams. The best stop of the overtime came from Corey Crawford's left pad on Kevin Fiala. In the final minutes of extra time, Marian Hossa turned the puck over at the blueline, and following a perfect dump in, Kevin Fiala deked his way past Corey Crawford to give the Predators a 3-2 win and a 3-0 series lead. Game 4 is set for Thursday night in Nashville.

The Good
  • For the first time in the series, the Hawks actually showed some life at the start of the game. While they hit a bit of a lull, overall the opening twenty minutes was pretty decent in my opinion.
  • If you had Dennis Rasmussen as the first Hawk to score in this series, please go collect your winnings. Moose broke the Hawks scoreless streak of 141 minutes, in the early moments of the second period, after a great pass from Marcus Kruger.
  • Midway through the second period, Patrick Kane increased the lead to two, and quieted the McCrowd in Nashville and around the fax machine.
  • Corey Crawford was outstanding in net for the Hawks. If you think he was the reason he lost, I'm sorry, but I have to politely say you don't understand hockey. Crawford made 46 saves in the loss. His save on Fiala in overtime with his left pad was fantastic.
  • This was by Patrick Kane's best game of the series. In addition to his goal, he was generating chances and was a force all night.
  • The line of Rasmussen-Kruger-Panik was a beast all night. They generated chances all night long. The only issue was Kruger getting hammered at the dot for a portion of the game.

The Bad
  • Jonathan Toews was in a battle all night long with P.K. Subban. At one point Subban gave Toews a slew-foot, and Toews returned the favor with a vicious slash.
  • Nick Schmaltz had a chance to make it a three goal game in the third period with a breakaway, but Pekka Rinne made a helluva stop to keep the Predators deficit at two.
  • Late in the third period, Filip Forsberg tied the game at two, on a goal in which Corey Crawford took a little contact outside the crease. Quenneville challenged the play for goalie interference, but the call of a good goal stood, and all hell broke loose on hockey Twitter in Chicago. It appears people forgot to mention the part of the rule where the contact occurred on a rebound. Its a goal people. Read the whole rule. 
  • Artemi Panarin looked completely uninterested tonight. I can't remember a single moment where he dazzled with the puck.
  • Duncan Keith and Niklas Hjalmarsson led the way on defense for the Hawks, by both being a -2 on the night.

The Ugly
  • Johnny Oduya nearly scored a goal from the Hawks defensive zone while on the penalty kill in the first period. Oduya caught Rinne leaving the net early, and the puck took a funny hop off the glass and trickled in front of the net before a diving Rinne poked it just wide. Its in the ugly because the Hawks couldn't even score on this play.
  • Speaking of that penalty kill mentioned above, I have no idea what the hell Marcus Kruger was thinking when he took that penalty. He basically tackled Zolnierczyk for no reason.
  • On the Predators first goal, the Hawks were guilty of standing around, thinking the puck had gone out of play, when in fact, it hit the very top of the glass.
  • Artem Anisimov was an embarrassing 12% at the faceoff dot. You heard me right. 12 fucking percent.
  • It seems as if people have turned their head to the turnover by Marian Hossa that set up the Predators game winning goal, because TVR was on the ice. That turnover by Hossa was one the worst one I've seen by a Hawk since Kris Versteeg was here. I'll do you one better. It was just as bad as the one by Martin Erat in 2010, in which Hossa capitalized on. That is where the game was lost. Those plays cannot happen in overtime.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Blackhawks vs Predators
5-0 Shutout Loss Recap

"Death Becomes My Light"

by Gatekeeper

Leave it up to the Blackhawks to create some drama when it's not needed. After a game one shutout loss, the Nashville Predators gained just a bit more momentum in this opening series. Like I said Thursday night, though, I'm not worried one bit, and neither should any of you. The Blackhawks have often start playoff series slowly. They will recover. Quenneville did a little lineup shifting for this game, which was expected, but nothing significant. Unless you're a huge fan of John Hayden or Jordin Tootoo, that is.

The first period of game two started almost exactly like game one. The Blackhawks came out with some serious pressure, which resulted in nothing. The Predators turned the play around and scored on one of their first chances, with under five minutes burned. This, once again, gave the Preds some life. This also forced the Blackhawks to claw and scratch back to gain some momentum and pressure. For the period the Preds led in shots 12-7, which cannot continue.

In what seems to be a pattern, the Blackhawks came out in the second period, put on some pressure, and gave up a goal on one of Nashville's first chances of the period. The Blackhawks then blew another powerplay, and the Preds answered with another goal. This was possibly the most frustrating period possible. If you look at the numbers, the Hawks actually out shot the Preds 14-10, but no one watching felt that.

The Blackhawks were nothing, if not consistent, in this game. They had chances but, as has been the norm, the Preds turned a single chance into a goal.

This game was bullshit.

Screw the shots on net.

I'm not wasting more time than I need to on this. Allow me to be silly while I attempt to hide my immense frustration...

Full disclosure, here, I was looking for GIFs for this stupid recap and this one below came up. Absolutely, made me bust into laughter. Thank you, Internet!

The Good

The Bad
  • With only thirty seconds gone in the first Viktor Arvidsson got a partial breakaway, but missed the net. Seconds later, #DickFuckingPanik rocketed a snapper off the post.
  • The Blackhawks powerplay was, once again, fuh-king awful. You have to take advantage when you get these advantages and the Blackhawks just pissed away chance after chance.
  • With about six minutes left in the second period, even Quenneville's line blending shit sandwich did no good. Some fourth line plug named Colton Sissons parked his awful, slow ass in the crease and just hacked away at a loose rebound, while Johnny Oduya and Nik Hjalmarsson just let him. Goal, and queue up mass anxiety.
  • I'd go into more detail on the Johansen and Fiala goals, but I'm putting in the same effort the Blackhawks did.

The Ugly
  • Four minutes into the first period, Ryan Ellis had his long point shot blocked nicely by Panik, but the puck ended up right back on the stick of Ellis. Ellis let a shot go trough the screen of Arvidsson and past Crawford. The Screen definitely affected Crawford's position and view of the shot. Not the best goal given up, but not the worst.
  • Three minutes into the second period Harry Zolnierczyk jumped off the bench on a change, behind the Blackhawks defense and was hit for a breakaway. Zolnierczyk fended off Johnny Oduya and chipped the puck up and over Corey Crawford's glove for a 2-0 Preds lead.
  • Ryan Hartman not only channeled his inner Andrew Shaw, late in the game, by pissing his pants on a clean offensive chance, but he came back on the other end and took a horrible, possibly suspension earning, stick foul on Craig Smith.
  • For the second game in a row, we were left asking, "What the hell are you doing, Duncan Keith?". He was having some serious issues controlling the puck in the offensive zone.
  • Also, for the second game, PK Subban was almost invisible. For all the teeth gnashing over that trade last summer, Shea Weber has been the bigger acquisition. Not only was he invisible but he had a BRUTAL turnover right next to his own net. This is scary if he actually heats up.

The #Fatrick Stankus Fatsy Stats

The Lineblender
Left Wing - Center - Right Wing
Hartman - Toews - Panik
Panarin - Anisimov - Kane
Schmaltz - Kruger - Hossa
Rasmussen - Kero - Hinostroza

Keith - Hjalmarsson
Oduya - Seabrook
van Riemsdyk - Campbell