Look at All These Rumors, Around Me Every Day

With the All-Star weekend come and gone, the next significant NHL mile marker is the trade deadline, and with this deadline brings some fan insanity. While the regular season trade deadline is nowhere near as insane as the free agency madhouse in July, it isn't all that far behind either. The big difference is that the competing team's fans are full of delusions of grandeur, and the non competing team's fans are ready to go into full "fire sale" mode.

Luckily for Blackhawks fans, they the ones buying and that happens to open up a whole new can of worms. The Rumors. In just a few days, I've seen enough stupid rumors to make me want to jump off the Madison Street bridge, and I know some of you would fully support that. I thought it would be entertaining to share a few of the best delusions, for those of you that have a little common sense. Here we go:

• Viktor Stalberg for Tim Thomas. I'm really not making this stuff up, folks. Ever since Tim Thomas decided against visiting the White House, the Intarwebs have been abuzz with rumors that the Bruins were going to unload him. Before we even GET to the Stalberg part, WHY would the Bruins do this? Before this "incident", Thomas was a great teammate, and one of the most dominating people at his position. He didn't say anything negative, he just simply declined an invitation. Whatever his beliefs are, he's allowed to have them. To trade Thomas over THIS is just a stupid notion from stupid people. The Bruins are one of the best teams in the NHL and defending Stanley Cup Champs. While I understand he's not a kid anymore, he is still and All-Star, Conn Smythe, and Vezina winning goalie. This would have been like trading Duncan Keith in the middle of last season for skipping the White House trip. While he was playing like shit all last year, no one seriously wanted to trade him.
  
  The second part of this rumor is the Stalberg piece. I'm all for selling high, but does anyone really think the Bruins would make that move straight up? If they would, and Stan Bowman didn't pull the trigger, the ball on the tip of Michael Jordan's statue should be replaced with Stan's head. The Bruins simply aren't that stupid. TRADE FAIL!
• Patrick Kane going anywhere. Let me start this off by saying that if you you've conjured up some delusion in your melon, where it is acceptable to trade the young and very talented #88, you belong in a mental health facility. Seriously. There is no valid scenario where he gets traded, slump or not. Just stop being stupid. You sound like lunatics, even though this idea MAKES you lunatic in the first place. Pat Kane is one of the young faces of the entire league. What do you really think the Hawks could get in return, that is better than what he already gives them? If you answered anything other than NOTHING, you're wrong. While teams would line up to feed the Hawks a bunch of players that will never equal Kane, the Hawks would be a bunch of fools to trade him, at this point. Cool your Jets, Couch Potato GM's.
• Ryan Suter or Shea Weber from Nashville. Again, Does anyone really think the Hawks would be able to part with enough talent to pry either player out of Nashville's cold dead hand? The answer you're looking for is NO. Furthermore, Weber is a Restricted Free Agent come July 1st and Suter is an Unrestricted Free Agent. Weber currently carries a price of $7.5 million a season, which is out of the Hawks price range, and, again, Nashville is not letting him go. The Suter saga has coughed up some drama, recently, and his modest $3.5 million price tag makes Hammer look like a complete joke, but the Preds would have to WANT to trade him to a division rival they may face in the playoffs. They aren't that stupid. You can cook up all the theories you want, but it takes two to tango, and this isn't NHL 12.
• ANY Goalie. Get used to Corey Crawford and Ray Emery as your goaltenders for the 2012 Playoffs. There is not enough turmoil for Stan to pull the trigger on something that is going to turn the chemistry of this team upside down. There isn't anyone capable of the task that's on the market, anyway. If you're looking for the Hawks to hand the keys over to a question mark like Evgeni Nabokov, you must be a compulsive and degenerate gambler. If a move like that goes bad, the fans and media will turn on Bowman faster than Jay Cutler. Bowman is not going to make a risky move, that puts the Hawks ability to keep the puck out of the net in question. DENIED!

Names you may see that have a chance of landing in Chicago are Hal Gill, Bryan Allen, or Mark Eaton. Bowman will be looking in the wheelhouse of a veteran future free agent that they can get for minimal return, much like they did for Campoli, last year. More recently, Marek Zidlicky is rumored to have voiced his unhappiness in Minnesota, but the Wild would have to admit it was time to throw up the white flag on this season, and I'm not sure that they think they can't hold to to that last playoff spot, but doing so without their top defender is almost impossible. If he gets moved, it will carry a heavy price tag, especially the way the Hawks blatantly stole Nick Leddy from them. A name I wanted the Hawks to take a look at during the off season is Sheldon Souray in Dallas, and I think he could cheaply add some depth as well as a big shot on the point for the powerplay, but what do I know? I'm just a blogger with a day job.

While everyone is throwing out the names of wings like Tuomo Ruutu, I wouldn't count on that ship sailing, either. Bowman seems to be pretty confident in the depth of the wings on this team, so churning that up probably isn't worth the trouble.

The moral of the story is that, IF the Hawks make a move, it won't be for anyone significant. A depth move at most, so all you play-at-home GM's need to clam down.